I Tried To Be Her Loyal Sword

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Chapter 34

‘Ugh.’

Slowly, I lifted my eyelids.

The hazy vision, clouded by my drowsiness, gradually came into focus. Once again, I found myself beneath the world of our country.

What met my gaze was a pair of eyes as red as the flowing blood on the altar, gleaming with a maddening brightness.

A cold hand clutched my cheek. The edges of the eyes, raised in a chilling manner, curled up slightly.

Short, glossy black hair like a blade. An impression as cold as frost. A terrifying beauty. Red eyes that flashed icily.

‘The strong you will protect me, right?’

A voice imbued with a faint warmth was clearly imprinted in my heart.

“I’ve got you.”

It was my half-brother, Caesar of Crisis.

‘……What?’

Still upside down, I blinked dully. I was perched on a high branch, and thanks to Caesar’s height, his face was right in front of me.

His cool expression looked even colder than the falling snowflakes. His red eyes were fixed on me with a delicate glimmer.

‘Mad.’

My mouth opened, and my brain froze.

Thud.

The moment my legs lost strength, I fell off the branch.

“……Oh.”

At that moment, a hand caught my body.

“Ugh.”

I slowly blinked at the hard chest that came into contact with my head. Beyond the firm arm, a lukewarm warmth could be felt. I dazedly looked up at Caesar. A satisfied smile spread across his face as he looked down at me.

“I caught you this time.”

‘Just fall. I’ll catch you.’

‘Did my left arm not get hurt?’

‘I can handle Caesar just fine.’

His words were reminiscent of the night in the forest when I carried the exhausted Caesar. The corners of his eyes creased slightly. My face flushed as I realized I had been caught by him while I had been hanging on a tree like a child.

“I could have landed on my own!”

“Do you think the strong Mir would allow that?”

Chuckling mischievously, he held me tighter. Heat rose through my back.

‘Why is Caesar here……!’

I bit my lips, recalling that after dinner, Maria had said that Caesar would be out late at the magic tower and would return tonight.

And now it was barely past 4 PM.

“I clearly heard you’d only return at night……?”

“Upon hearing the shocking news that the commander of the mercenary army was my half-brother, how could I focus on my work?”

‘…So you knew.’

Even though Caesar was smiling brightly, my body slightly shrank. I was used to facing nobles as a mercenary, but facing my brother for the first time was different.

This was my first encounter with Caesar as a Kashmir.

‘In the original story, Caesar hated Kashmir.’

I hardened my face, recalling the original story.

Caesar despised Kashmir. It wasn’t because Kashmir was a bastard child born amongst commoners. From the beginning, Caesar hated the idea that nobility placed such heavy importance on bloodlines, and he had never cared about what Caesar did.

When he learned that I was a bastard child, instead of being disappointed in Caesar, he merely expressed surprise that the man could still get so worked up.

Caesar’s disdain for Kashmir began when Kashmir touched Aria. Remembering what Kashmir did to Aria in the original story made me feel like burying my head in a pond and dying.

‘Whether that kid’s mother is a commoner or a wolf tribe, he doesn’t care. But please tell him to stop coming to the magic tower and destroying things.’

Until then, Kashmir had wreaked havoc in the mansion and had an unhealthy obsession with Caesar.

Thinking of that, I realized things had changed a lot from the original story, yet I still felt a bit uneasy.

‘What if Caesar… doesn’t like Kashmir? He seems to like Mir, but if he starts to despise Kashmir like in the original… what if he starts to despise Mir too?’

I bit my lip until it bled. I had already given my heart to the Caesar I had just faced for a moment, and I thought it would be hard to bear being despised by him.

“……Please put me down.”

Feeling my pink heart sinking into the depths of blue, I slightly lifted my body. I could have pushed him away with strength, but if I miscalculated, there was a high chance of breaking his arm, so I couldn’t move easily.

“You suddenly look pale.”

Caesar’s lips tightened as he looked down at me. I tried to look up at him but ended up bowing my head again when our eyes met.

A vague concern flickered in those cool red eyes, and I mistakenly thought, ‘What if it was all just an illusion?’ I feared reading his emotions again.

“It’s just a bit cold. If you put me down, I can make my way back.”

Mumbling while avoiding his gaze, I felt a more persistent scrutiny on my skin, and I broke out in a cold sweat as Caesar slowly spoke.

“……Do you dislike me?”

“••••••What?”

His voice was weighed down, almost depressed. I doubted my ears for a moment and quickly looked up.

With his eyes burning with a strange madness, Caesar was staring down at me, his expression resembling that of an abandoned puppy despite his fierce gaze.

“Isn’t that right? You looked horrified when you saw me, your complexion soured, and now you don’t even want to hug me. Am I that unpleasant to you?”

“That can’t possibly be true! How could I dislike Your Highness……!”

Stumbling over my words, I avoided his persistent gaze. I didn’t dislike Caesar. In fact, I had given my heart away so completely that I hardly knew what to do about it.

“You say you’re my half-sibling yet refuse to call me by my name. So, it must be that you dislike me. You don’t listen to me when I say my thoughts on the monster extermination and follow along… You speak so little that it feels like you just want to avoid me.”

“N-no, wait, what……!”

Upon hearing ‘Your Highness,’ Caesar’s brow furrowed as he mumbled in a dark voice. A thick shadow loomed over his face. In a fit of guilt as if I had committed a terrible crime, I rapidly shook my head.

“I absolutely, absolutely do not dislike you, Your Highness! How could I ever dislike you!”

“Yet you won’t even call my name. The cowardly prince you saw before was your older brother, isn’t that disappointing?”

Caesar lowered his head sadly. For a moment, I felt a sense of artificiality, but the guilt of having made him sulky weighed heavily on me, so I hurriedly opened my mouth.

“Caesar! Caesar! I absolutely do not dislike you! I’m so happy that you’re my brother!”

As I called his name several times, the sulking Caesar lifted his head in surprise. I broke out in a cold sweat and carefully explained.

“It’s just that… I’m not used to having precious people. I’m not used to dealing with people either. I’m just afraid of making mistakes with you.”

I stammered, honestly admitting my fears.

Knowing that Caesar had already harbored a dislike for Kashmir in the original, I worried that even the slightest misstep would ruin our relationship.

“So even my little sister was a coward.”

Only then did Caesar show a satisfied smile and hold me tighter. I considered asking him to let me down again, but thought he might sulk again, so I remained nestled against him.

“Don’t worry about that.”

“It’s too late to dislike you just because I made a mistake.”

Puzzled by his ambiguous statement, I looked up at Caesar, who was stifling a laugh.

“What should I call you?”

“Oh, just call me Kashmir.”

“But that’s just a name.”

Not sure what he meant, I simply blinked, and Caesar laughed slowly.

“I meant what’s your nickname.”

“Um… My brother calls me Shushu.”

“Then I’ll call you Shushu too.”

I froze when I heard the first nickname from Caesar’s lips.

“Now you’re my little sister.”

Avoiding his warm gaze, I lowered my head. For some reason, tears felt close to spilling over.

Snowflakes danced around. They seemed to wash away all the turmoil in my heart as they fell endlessly.

“Your Highness, or rather, Caesar, you don’t dislike me, do you?”

“Huh?”

His eyebrows twitched, and he looked at me with a questioning gaze. I cautiously began to speak.

“Well, I’m a bastard child, an outsider who popped up without warning. I’ve spent my life as a nobody in the alleys, a worthless mercenary. Isn’t it more unusual for you to have positive feelings for me?”

I murmured monotonously. As I slowly reflected on myself, it felt impossible to find a reason to be loved. I couldn’t believe the goodwill coming my way, because I didn’t feel worthy of it.

Caesar didn’t respond. I took his silence as implicit agreement, watching my dropped self-esteem drift aimlessly.

“……Listen carefully.”

Caesar opened his mouth with a cold expression.

“You are the person who saved me.”

“That’s just what I ought to do…”

“But it’s not just during the monster extermination; you’ve been saving me long before that.”

From that one line, I felt an unfathomable depth of feelings. Deep and deeper still, I looked blankly into his eternally falling abyss-like eyes.

“No one can say that to you. Not even you. No one can belittle the meaning of my life like that.”

Unexplainable words and feelings I couldn’t comprehend.

I gazed intently at Caesar, who wore a baffled expression. He was seething with rage.

“As the Princess of Crisis, and as my sister, take pride in yourself. You deserve it.”

Even though his voice was chilly, the letters within were exceedingly warm. I bit my lips and squeezed my eyes shut.

“Why are you treating me so well?”

Everything about him was unfathomable. Caesar was a conundrum, an enigma; I still couldn’t understand him. He had approached me with goodwill from the start, but I remained at a loss.

“You probably can’t understand, but…”

He slowly parted his lips, raising the corners of his mouth as if to reveal his charming smile. White snowflakes covered his black hair. The sky, beginning to turn to dusk, painted red hues above his head, determined not to lose to the falling snowflakes.

He tilted his head down. His jet-black hair, seemingly favored by nature, tickled my forehead. A smile bloomed on his face as he came closer.

“You pulled me out of the abyss of boredom. You made me live.”

A soft and warm sensation touched my forehead. Caesar placed his lips against it, just like I had done to him in the winter forest.

“To love you is an irresistible force for me. It will probably always be that way. So don’t worry and enjoy my goodwill.”

‘Really an unfathomable person.’

By now, I couldn’t help but realize there was more I didn’t know. But I didn’t particularly want to uncover that something. What mattered to me was the simple fact that I was being loved to the brim right now.

I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. If I didn’t, I felt like I might embarrass myself by crying. As I did, Caesar smiled softly at me, then started walking back to the mansion.

Only one person’s footsteps traversed the white expanse of the garden as the sun set behind the horizon.