I Was Confessed to by the Golden Sun

30 – 30. The Situation of the Golden Sun

“hehehe.. hehehehe..”

It’s been two hours since it became dark outside and I sent Jack away again.

I was still engrossed in happiness, hugging the teddy bear, rolling around, and hitting it with my fist.

“It feels amazing!”

Finally, my efforts began to pay off.

To think that such a stone-hearted guy could even say that I’m good.

“Yeah, why did you react like that?”

If he was going to come over anyway, it would have been better if he just let me hit him instead of reacting like that.

..No, is it right to think that I’m the one who made him come over like this?

Anyway, it’s a tremendous progress. I’ve accomplished something difficult, how great, Lucia!

“hehehe, maybe I’m the descendant of a seductress?”

That kind of seductive word that can seduce someone with just a voice.

Most women, although I’m not sure if they intended it, would build a wall against that guy.

Just by seeing that he’s gradually opening up to me, it’s a reasonable suspicion.

“I’m quite charming!”

Shimmering blonde hair, as if it contains vivid sunlight.

A moderately tanned skin that exudes a healthy beauty.

Though he seems a bit strong, there’s a gentle and warm heart hidden inside.

So far, because that guy didn’t show much interest in me, I had some doubts about my own charm.

“Well, anyway, he came over, didn’t he?”

It wasn’t that I lacked charm, it was Jack who was a bit strange.

After coming to that conclusion, I stopped laughing cheerfully while rolling my feet.

But soon, a not-so-good thought came to my mind, and my laughter that was full of my face abruptly stopped.

“I heard his feelings, but..”

Maybe if we continue to have this kind of relationship.

No, of course, it’s not like this is not enough and I’m already happy with just this.

“To be like ordinary lovers, compliment each other, do skinship naturally without worrying about it.”

When there was nowhere to go after spending a date together and time was running late, we inevitably ended up lying on the same bed…

Anyway, what I mean is that I want to do such things too.

However, to do such things, the vague relationship of being more than friends but less than lovers is not enough.

Therefore, it is clear that there needs to be a definite progress in the relationship, but the problem lies in the method to achieve that progress.

“Judging by Jack’s actions, the furthest line I can cross to get closer to him is right here.”

He draws a line in his own heart and tries to push me away so that I cannot go any further.

Recently, the closer I get to him, the more it seems like he intentionally pushes me away, as if trying to hide his own feelings.

The hidden emotions within him are not just embarrassment, but a mix of various negative emotions, a melancholic feeling.

Therefore, to further advance our relationship, I need to somehow overturn the line he has drawn and tear it apart.

“The reason Jack draws a line and pushes me away is probably because…”

It’s probably because of the incident where I stole someone else’s girlfriend or fling…

Yes, Jack was extremely repulsed by the act of me stealing someone else’s partner.

Of course, I understand disliking cheating or being involved in someone else’s relationship, but I can’t predict the reason why he would hate it to such an extreme degree.

Certainly, there must be some reason why his emotions escalate to such an extreme due to a certain trigger, but it doesn’t easily come to mind.

“..Did he break up with his previous partner due to cheating?”

To be honest, that’s the only thing that comes to mind right now.

It may not make sense logically to cheat on such a perfect man, but well, that’s just my opinion, others may think differently.

“..I still can’t understand.”

To cheat on such a man who makes me feel better by just sitting there and thinking quietly.

That woman is undoubtedly a piece of trash who is unlucky in life. She should be struck by lightning while walking on the street.

“Well, then is he worried that I might cheat on him in the future when we date?”

I wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear that Jack had other experiences with women, but it seemed somewhat reasonable.

If an innocent lover has already cheated and broke up because of it, it is understandable that they would dislike me to some extent.

“There’s just a slight difference between stealing and giving oneself to someone else.”

Therefore, there is a good possibility that he treated me and that trash the same way in his thoughts.

For now, he has slightly opened his heart with my continued affection, but he keeps thinking about that trash and tries to hide his feelings towards me.

I have absolutely no intention of cheating on Jack, but if he thinks that way, I have to somehow prevent him from having such thoughts.

“First, I need to find some device that can prove I won’t cheat…”

To show that I genuinely reflect on the sins I committed in the past.

Jack wouldn’t like a woman with so many sins, so I have to handle it in a way that he doesn’t feel burdened because of it.

“..and the person I’ve wronged, my childhood friend and the man I love.”

I should also apologize to Heidi, who has suffered so much because of me.

In reality, I can’t even understand why I disliked that guy so much.

Jealousy over Heidi’s talents was a secondary reason; I simply didn’t like her being around Jack.

I should have approached her first; why did I torment Heidi with such childish antics?

“When did I start liking Jack..?”

Thinking back, it seems like it was from the few times we crossed paths at the academy.

The reasons might include.. his slightly frail-looking, attractive face that perfectly matched my taste.

His kind words and the considerate attitude he showed to everyone, along with the inherent politeness in his manner, were also appealing.

“Looking back on it, this is quite embarrassing..”

I rationalized that it was inevitable since Heidi was his childhood friend.

His hidden violence beneath the kind face I secretly admired when he engaged in physical activities like taekwondo or practice.

Honestly, I think that was what truly stirred my heart.

The muscles visible through his thin shirt were incredibly enticing.. Wait, that’s not what I meant.

“..Saying it out loud, I sound like a total pervert.”

No, no. Men also look at women’s bodies a lot, so it’s natural for me to be excited about his physique!

In fact, many female students were quite taken by his appearance, so it wasn’t just my story.

Besides, that guy had no immunity to women, so even a slight touch made him shiver.

“Completely smitten.. No, I have no choice but to like it.”

So I nodded my head in agreement and suddenly snapped out of it.

I had meant to apologize to Heidi, but when did my thoughts wander here?

Glancing at the clock, I noticed that the hour hand had moved one step further than when I had started thinking about Jack.

I’m really severe, spending an hour on these thoughts?

“Anyway, objectively speaking, Heidi is not to blame.”

A big mistake I made before I knew my feelings, something I did to Heidi, can be defined like this.

From the middle, Heidi started to feel provoked, and I didn’t care much, purposely getting a boyfriend.

I managed to win those guys over with money and charm.

“Ugh, thinking about those guys annoys me.”

Not my words, but Jack’s understandable disgust for people who cheat was starting to make sense.

“Why wouldn’t they be obsessed with me, those good-for-nothing losers? Aren’t they trying to attack me, to overwhelm me..”

The only one capable of doing such a thing to me is Jack, so who do these pathetic guys think they are, looking down on me?

Even at that time, I wasn’t aware but my heart had already been fixated on one place for a long time.

I kept my distance from those men who showed no interest in me..

“Oh, wait a minute..”

If I think about it, isn’t it similar to the picture of me pursuing Jack if we switch the genders?

A guy who blew in like the wind suddenly being obsessed with me, in such a dog-like situation…

“This is crazy.”

I guess I understand things faster when I think about other people’s situations.

The same thing happened when I realized my feelings for Jack last time, and this time too.

But now that I think about it, it’s awful. I managed to escape from their obsession somehow, but has Jack been thinking about this? That’s…quite sad.

“No, it’s alright, I..”

Since Jack said he liked me, I wouldn’t feel that kind of emotion towards the person who was obsessed with me.

I mustn’t.

“Ugh..”

I chewed my nails for no reason and paced around the room, and eventually sighed deeply and quietly looked up at the ceiling.

“..Jack, I miss you so much.”

It’s only been a few hours since we’ve been apart, but I already miss his warm embrace.

I want to bury my face in his firm chest and breathe in his scent as much as I want.

I want to be cuddled like a puppy and be embraced with a thrilled expression.

“I’m going crazy..”

It feels like I’ve become addicted to it. Then maybe withdrawal symptoms will come soon.

I don’t know how I ended up falling for a guy like this.

If I were to say something like this to the past me who wasn’t aware, she would dismiss it as nonsense and immediately try to hit the person who said it with a bat.

“I really, truly love you..”

Uttering the word that won’t reach him today, I quietly crawled into bed and curled up into a tight ball.

Luckily, his fragrance still lingered there to some extent.