I Was in Charge of Scouting for the Hero’s Party

92. Responsibility, its weight

Shoot aaa—.

I sat on a bench in the square and stared blankly at the cool water spouting from the fountain.

Contrary to the fountain’s cool water gushing out without any blockage, my heart felt very stuffy as if it was clogged with something.

Since I was locked up in the inn, I escaped because I felt like I was suffocated by the atmosphere. This stuffy feeling was pressing on my chest without any change.

“Ha….”

How the hell do I solve this?

‘I was in charge of night watch at the time, so I left without any sense of responsibility!’

“… Responsibility. It’s a responsibility.”

Responsibility. I looked at this heavy word and tried to savor the hidden meaning inside it.

I think this is the second time in my life that I have been told there is no responsibility.

The first one was from Wyler, maybe.

“Come to think of it, I should have met Wyler too….”

When I heard from Wyler, all I could think of was apologetic. It was also something that was clearly my fault in the first place. Wyler was the first person to bring responsibility to me.

And I never dreamed that I would hear that second from no one else, but from Adrien, who looked down on me the most at the party.

Compared to Wyler, who first spoke of responsibility for me, I am completely unqualified….

“Qualifications. Huh, true.”

You mentioned qualifications in my subject. I want to go crazy too. I’m not old enough to paint on walls yet.

I shook my head. Even though Adrien treated me badly, it is true that I came out of the warriors party without permission, in a way, it was an irresponsible act.

If that was the case in Ranger, there would be nothing to say even if he was summarily punished for desertion. At that time, I must have been possessed by something.

‘You can throw us away, but not your new party members?! You know how selfish you are?!”

It’s selfish. Even I thought so. At that time, I should have at least talked to the warriors.

Leaving the party after giving notice unilaterally was, in a way, terribly selfish.

With such a subject, such a selfish and irresponsible subject who left the party, it’s like having a new party all of a sudden. Even, the warrior party came out like that, pretending to be responsible at this party. It’s like grabbing all kinds of phones.

“… And. There is no real chew. “

Thinking about it like this, it wasn’t that Adrien couldn’t understand why he exploded so suddenly. However, it is a question of whether Adrien can be proud of himself even after saying such things to me.

“Ugh….”

My stomach became bloated. Suddenly, I became disgusted with myself. My double standard was disgusting, and at the same time, strange. Was I originally such a selfish and double-minded person?

It’s something I’ve been thinking about these days, but sometimes I feel like I have two selves. Back in the day, I wasn’t the type to go out like this.

Before, I was just fooling around with the expedient thought of ‘It’s because I suffered all sorts of absurdities at the hero’s party.’ But, certainly, myself recently… It was definitely a bit unfamiliar.

“Tsk….”

He lightly clicked his tongue. Not even funny Even so, it is an unchanging fact that I acted without responsibility.

This time, the dissatisfaction that had been suppressed in each other’s hearts unknowingly and unknowingly burst out all at once. Sadness, disappointment, betrayal, sorry, guilt, etc.

All kinds of emotions became explosives, and the tongue only became the fuse.

Of course, with time, you will be able to fill the emotional gap. However, it does not address the root cause.

The name of the king. Due to the king’s order, I have to return to the warrior party.

How could there be no way to destroy this? Even a small gap….

“Haa….”

If I tried to think a little deeper, I kept feeling the gaze from the seat next to me, and it ended up being neither one nor the other. I turned my head and looked at Isabel, who was sitting in the seat next to me.

“How long will you stick around?”

“Yes, yes?”

“No, how long are you going to follow me around? Can I not go to the cathedral today?”

“… There are more important things than that.”

Isabel looked up at me. The eyes that met mine were trembling weakly.

“Why. Do you see me as an irresponsible guy too?”

When I said this in a self-deprecating way, Isabel immediately answered, taking off her crane.

“What… ! I-I’m not like that….”

“No. It’s okay to be honest. Because I was thinking that way anyway.”

“That….”

“I don’t know yet what you think of me. But I mean….”

I paused for a moment, stared blankly at the fountain, then lowered my head to look down at the floor.

An unknown insect the size of a finger was being dragged by five or six ants.

Is it a coincidence that, for some reason, it overlapped with my current self?

Is it because I was subconsciously thinking of such a relationship?

I raised my head again and looked at Isabel.

Isabelle’s eyelids trembled.

“If I return to the warrior party like this, will everything be resolved?”

“… Sorry.”

Suddenly, Isabelle apologized to her.

“Why are you suddenly apologizing? It didn’t happen because of you.”

“No.”

Isabelle slowly approached me. Eventually, when she was about a hand’s distance away, she said Isabel.

“Even though this is because of Adrien’s hasty words…. Maybe I, too, was thinking that way in the middle of the day…. I think so.”

“… ….”

“I don’t feel that way myself, but in the eyes of others, it’s different. So, I apologize. Sorry.”

“Stop it.”

For some reason, she couldn’t keep her eyes on Isabel. I gently turned her head away from Isabel’s gaze.

“… Austin.”

“… Why.”

“Why don’t you make eye contact with me?”

“… Just.”

In an instant, I felt a warm, soft touch on both my cheeks. Isabel carefully cupped her hand on my cheek, and slowly turned her head to look at her.

“I’m really, really sorry. Austin. Even though I couldn’t be with you until the audience room….”

I pushed Isabelle’s hand away from my cheek. She didn’t care that her hand fell helplessly, and Isabel’s hand cupped my cheek again.

“If I… At least if Maya had been there….”

“… What if there was?”

“… If that was the case, Austin might not have had to suffer so much… I don’t know.”

“Okay.”

I looked down at the floor again. For some reason, the worm that had been dragged by the ant until just now was left alone and curled up on the floor.

I didn’t see any ants.

“… Isabelle.”

“Yes, Austin.”

“Adrien is right. I am an irresponsible bastard.”

“That’s not true….”

“No. It’s okay not to deny it. Because I think so myself.”

“That….”

With Adrien…. It was probably difficult to stay close for a while. Because the gap between each other’s feelings is so deep.

The emotional goal must be filled by both sides. Until the gap is finally filled, the land becomes flat, and we can come and go in each other’s hearts.

I decided to take a step forward. First of all, from acknowledging my mistakes.

Yes. I was a selfish bastard and made irresponsible choices.

And the same goes for Adrien.

I am doing as much as I can. Now, I guess I’ll have to ask Adrienne to try.

But there is one more important thing left.

A practical solution to this problem now. You have to find it.

A childish mindset like ‘Adrien did something wrong after all, why do I have to find a solution?’ Is not right. Adrien will try to fill the emotional gap, so I decided to find a fundamental solution.

“By the way, what a small talk.”

“… What are you talking about?”

“What. I heard that His Majesty the King ordered me to return to the party. If it’s a hero, even if you can’t completely ignore the king’s order… I might be able to change direction to some extent.”

“Ummm….”

Isabel rested her chin on her chin and began to think. As she straightened the slightly disheveled nun’s uniform, I too fell into thought.

“Responsibility….”

I looked around and saw tall, poorly maintained grass peeking over my shoulders from the back of the bench.

Aphids and ants caught my eye on an unknown grass.

Ants protect aphids, and aphids provide nectar.

Symbiotic relationship.

A relationship like that between people can be seen as not very good, but….

Couldn’t we be at least in a symbiotic relationship?

Even if it’s just a symbiotic relationship….

… For a moment.

“… A symbiotic relationship.”

“… Yes?”

Why didn’t I think of this?

“I can’t believe you came up with a solution….”

“What…. Roughly?”

I don’t know if this will work, but still.

As I got up and stretched on the bench, Isabelle looked up blankly at me and asked,

“That, what the hell is that?”

“Let’s go to the guild.”

“… What did you say?”

Isabel asked with a puzzled expression. I smiled once and started walking slowly.

At the time I took about three steps, Isabel, who suddenly came to her senses, hurriedly followed me.

“What the hell is that method! Let me know too!”

“Later. I’ll let the other kids know.”

“That… !”

Isabelle shut her mouth and glared at me. She accepted it with a mischievous smile, then walked out in the direction where the guild was located.

“First, let’s stop by the guild.”

Thanks to yesterday’s unexpected training, I didn’t even get Gahlran’s bounty.

Stop thinking about headaches and get money first.

I stopped thinking about it, and my head became much clearer.

* * *

“… Maya.”

Feeling the feeble pull on her clothes, Maya looked behind her.

Adrienne, with the traces of her tears dried up, was looking at Maya with her swollen red eyes.

“Adrien.”

“Wait, can I talk to you?”

“… Of course.”

After briefly covering the magic book borrowed from her library, Maya took Adrien and moved her seat.

“M-Maya…. Me….”

“Adrien.”

“Yes… ?”

Maya’s tone was somehow colder than usual. Adrien lifted her head.

Maya, with a cold expression, met Adrien’s eyes straight and continued her words.

“If you are asking Austin how to be forgiven, think for yourself.”

“Uh, uh… ? What….”

Maya did not miss the sight of Adrien shaking her shoulders. It was a straight line.

“Of course, I am not without fault with Austin…. What you said to Austin yesterday was too harsh.”

“Ugh…. I know….”

“If I knew that, I shouldn’t have done that.”

Maya terrifyingly closed her distance. Adrienne slowly backed her, until she was finally blocked by the wall behind her and could not move.

“Hero, Gracie…. They both do. The hero had a hard time dealing with His Majesty the King in the first place, and Gracie was in the position of captain of the Royal Guard. However….”

By the way.

“At least, you…. You shouldn’t have said that.”

“I, I….”

The cold eyes of Maya and the words Maya spit out became daggers in Adrien’s heart.

“Ah, ugh…. Ah….”

Maya, who had been looking at Adrien for a while, eventually turned her body around and moved her steps.

“… Austin probably, as well as you…. Everyone in the warrior party, including me, would have accepted that they thought of Austin that way.”

I’m not like that at all.

After saying that, Maya turned her head and looked at Adrien.

A word to Adrien, who collapsed on the floor.

“You clean up the water you spilled, and you clean it up. My sincere apologies to Austin. I think so, and the Hero and Gracie also think so.”

As Maya left, Adrien watched in a daze with tears in her eyes.

This arrogant and proud elf has finally learned to admit his mistakes.