I Was Sick of Loving You

95 – (Side story) loss

Master woke up and told me the story so far.

He said that it had already been a year since I had lost consciousness and that the pain I suffered was caused by the witch’s stigma.

The stigma on me could not be resolved even with the fruit of the World Tree, so I had to use the miracle left by the Creator God. In the process, Master was injured and said that he was healed now, so don’t worry, and stroked his head.

The Master’s touch is warm and happy, but still unable to understand Master. Excluding the time I lost consciousness, the time I spent with Master was only about 3 years, and I can’t understand the fact that Master risked death by using the fruit of the World Tree just for me.

I was greatly influenced by Master and realized the joy of helping others, but if I had to risk my own life, I would have given up without hesitation.

Unlike me, I couldn’t understand this kind of Master, so I asked Master.

“Master, why did you go this far?”

When I asked, Master smiled and stroked my hair.

“It is natural for a master to save his pupil. So do not harbor any burden or guilt.”

Master’s words were so warm. The words teacher, disciple, and natural were so warm that they permeated deeply. The warmth that penetrated deeply filled even the empty parts that had not yet been filled and caressed the scars. Then again, tears flowed. Master wiped away my tears.

It was so warm.

Together with Master, I shared that warmth with others. That was Master’s happiness and my happiness.

While continuing the life of sharing warmth like that, there was a slight change in Master’s energy. I can’t feel the powerful energy that I can’t reach anymore. Even so, the sense of presence is clearly felt, similar to the elder.

Master, who was involved in such a change, took it for granted. Then, as usual, he lived helping people. As the days continued, a white bird came with a letter from the elder.

When Master saw the letter, she put on a serious expression, entrusted the work to me, and headed for the Holy Land. After 15 days, Master returned. The returned Master’s energy was strange. Nothing feels like someone who has never trained.

When I was puzzled by Master’s energy, Master opened his mouth.

“Rachel, a revelation has been made that sooner or later great chaos will come to the continent. So you should return to the Holy Land.”

“What about Master?”

“I have work to do.”

“Then I’ll be there to help.”

Compared to Master, it is an infinitely weak force, but I said that because I wanted to help Master, but Master shook his head.

“Thank you, but not this time.”

I had to accept Master’s solemn words, who always smiled, and could not say more. That’s how I swallowed the words I wanted to say and conveyed my biggest wish to Master.

“I will follow Master’s words. Instead, don’t get hurt this time.”

Only then did Master smile and stroke her hair.

“It will be difficult, but I will do my best.”

I’d like to say that it’s not the best, but be sure to do it, but since Kaian-sama gave a revelation that it’s a big mess, it would be impossible not to get hurt.

Because I know that, I don’t say more, I just pray in my heart.

So I broke up with Master and returned to the Holy Land. Shortly after returning to the Holy Land, a great war broke out.

The embers of war caused by humans with the largest territory hit various races. We Dark Elves were no exception to that race.

Strange-headed humans who made the sun their god and lizardmen who made the swamp their territory invaded the Holy Land.

Normally, there would be no problem because the elder was there, but the elder suddenly passed away recently. To make matters worse, there is no Master, the strongest warrior in the Holy Land.

We were engulfed in the flames of war without the tallest pillar. In this way, the blood of many brothers and sisters was shed on the Holy Land.

The smell of the blood of the brothers and sisters and the invaders entwined, and it stimulated the pain of old memories. The pain of those memories is more painful than the wounds and scars on the body.

weird. When I was with Master, I didn’t do that even when I smelled blood. Is it because of the smell of the brothers and sisters’ blood? Or is it because there is no Master?

I couldn’t find the answer and continued to struggle to protect the holy ground. I struggled hard to protect this place that Master loved.

The struggle continued for a long time, and when the smell of blood permeated all the ground, the flames of war died out.

The flames of war faded and I waited for Master. I waited for Master like that, but Master did not come.

At first, I thought he was late because he was far away. I thought so, but I had an ominous thought. Along with that thought, the image of Master being carried by the high priest came to mind.

I denied it, but from that day on, I started having nightmares every day. Every day I dreamed of Master dying. I woke up from a dream and shed tears every day.

As I shed tears, I realized how great Master was to me.

Most of my heart, most of my life was filled with Master.

When I realized that, Master’s letter arrived.

The contents of the letter were Master’s current situation, regards, and that he had a loved one.

After reading the letter, I felt a sense of relief. And I was a little sad.

Even though I was relieved that my ominous imaginations and dreams did not happen, I felt sorry for Master, who did not come back and only sent letters. And I hated myself for feeling that kind of sadness.

Feeling those emotions, I headed to where Master was. In the realm of humans, the scars of the Oni war were clearly visible. Broken houses and buildings, fewer people than in the past, and the common sight of missing limbs.

The sight hurt her heart, but she hoped that Master was not hurt.

I passed through the scars and arrived at the human capital. There were few scars of war there. As if this place had nothing to do with war, it was splendid.

After wandering around the capital for a long time, I arrived at Master’s residence. I was relieved to see Master’s appearance after a long time, as he was as unscathed as before. Relieved, I put down the burden on my heart and talked with Master about what had happened so far.

At the end of the story, Master said that she would get married soon. I said congratulations, but inside I was a little uneasy. It was because I thought that I might become distant from Master.

with such thoughts

With such thoughts in mind, I spent some time by Master’s side. In the meantime, I met Master’s companion and knew that he was a good person. Similar to Master, he is a pure person and a good person who can feel caring for others.

And Master with that person seemed happy. I felt pitiful for not being able to congratulate him purely and being anxious. Feeling that, in my heart I prepared to get away from Master.

While preparing like that, I greeted Master’s wedding day. It was so warm to see Master looking happier than ever, and it was regrettable that now it was time to distance ourselves a little. With that in mind, I left a letter in Master’s room and returned to the Holy Land.

He returned to the Holy Land and lived with his brothers and sisters. She lived as Rachel, a dark elf, not a disciple of her teacher, the human Daniel.

It was a bit awkward and I wasn’t happier than when I was with Master, but I lived that way. Because it was originally my destiny to live.

Thinking like that, I lived while regaining my identity as a Dark Elf. While I was living like that, Master came to visit me. Master’s appearance after a long time was very different from the last one.

Untidy hair and beard, dark shadows under the eyes and red bloodshot eyes.

I felt embarrassed at how different I looked from the last time I looked happy.

Master put on a devastated expression and hurriedly headed for the cradle of knowledge. After talking with the guardian of the cradle, Master read the book the guardian gave him all day long.

Master copied the book and was about to leave in a hurry. I grabbed such a master and asked what had happened.

Master said there was nothing wrong, but I didn’t believe it. So I continued questioning, and soon Master told me everything.

witch’s curse. After hearing that, I couldn’t say anything. It was because Master looked so sad, because it was a story that was too hard for me to handle, and because it was a story that I couldn’t even dare to say comforting words.

So I couldn’t do anything and watched Master leave.

After Master left, I sought help from the Guardian of the Cradle, but I couldn’t find an answer. Still, I read all the books in the cradle to find the answer. Still couldn’t find an answer.

By the time I gave up, I found a piece of paper that was too old to recognize. On the paper, there was a story about the mystery left by the God of Creation. I told the story to Master, but Master said that she had already used the opportunity.

I asked about it, but Master did not answer. Old memories came to mind when I saw Master’s constant avoidance of answers. The days when she suffered from the witch’s stigma, the pain that suddenly disappeared, and Master who returned full of scars.

Master used that opportunity for me.

I came to that conclusion based on old memories. That conclusion ate away at my heart and made me feel guilty. And I felt a heavy sense of responsibility.

Feeling that feeling, I headed straight to the place where the miracle rested. I tried the ordeal there and I failed.

In the ordeal, I couldn’t stab Master. No, I was stabbed. It was also cut out. However, the jar was not completely filled.

Master’s screams of pain and hot blood pierced my heart, and I couldn’t do it any more. Having failed like that, I watched Master’s fate without doing anything.

Master defeated the witch, but could not escape the curse. And when he lost his partner, Master went crazy and became addicted to alcohol. I couldn’t bear to see such a master.

I couldn’t see Master, who was the father of my heart, because of me.

If it wasn’t for me, if I had overcome the ordeal… Master wouldn’t have to suffer like that.

Feeling such guilt, I lost Master.

Having lost all my family and siblings, I lost a new family that came to me, my father, and the only family in the world.

With her empty heart again, she lives by protecting the place Master loved.

For me, who has lost everything, that is the only reason for living.