I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

"Ha, what is this love of yours? Ellie, don't be silly. Think that you are an empress and the child you give birth to will become an emperor."

He looked at me like I was a stupid little girl.

My love for you, my past.

With this love, I sacrificed everything for you.

His words pierced me like a dagger.

"For you it may be stupid, but for me it was everything."

He couldn’t hide his tension and looked at me. His stern expression faltered for a second.

"Raymond, have you ever loved me, even for a moment?"

"…What?"

"You never loved me. Never."

There was stunned expression in his gaze.

"You never said you loved me. I feel like I’m your mother, who rushes with you and takes care of your every step."

Raymond's black eyes flashed with anger.

Care and mother are two reasons that prompted him to rebel.

I knew better than anyone else that his deep wounds would never heal and it would be better not to stir them up, but I couldn't help myself.

It's cruel, but it will help push him away from me.

It was difficult for me to look into his painful eyes, but I no longer paid attention to her.

He seemed shocked and soon exhaled.

When he looked at me with downcast eyes, he said in a strange tone:

"Yes, let's get divorced. As you said, we were wrong from the very beginning."

"Ah."

Cold black eyes looked down at me again.

"You're absolutely right. I don’t love you. And I will never be able to love you again."

He left the dining room.

And I will never love you again.

I knew that he had nothing to love me for, but it broke my heart when he said these words.

I didn't think I would grieve for him.

I didn't think that at that moment I would show some remnants of feelings.

"…Everything is over."

Today is the last day, I will not suffer anymore, and it will not hurt my heart.

Hearing the sound of the door opening, I quickly wiped away the tears with my hands. Helen's voice rang out:

"Your Majesty the Empress."

Helen couldn't help asking me if I was okay, as she had already seen Raymond leave the dining room and realized what had happened.

I saw Helen bow her head.

When the Empress leaves the palace, the position of Helen, who served me, will be ambiguous …

I'm going to ask my father to get Helen a job. I got up and thought.

"You won't have to visit the palace again."

"Yes, Your Majesty.”

The next day, Raymond sent a divorce document to the temple.

The news of our divorce spread quickly throughout the Imperial Palace, and the sudden divorce of the Emperor and Empress caused a great uproar.

The servants in the Empress's palace also heard this news, so in the morning they looked embarrassed helping me to get ready, but no one spoke to me due to Helen's harsh warning.

"Your Majesty, what kind of breakfast would you like today?"

It was unbearable for me to see the commotion in the imperial palace, and I stood quietly in the room.

"I don’t care. But won't you ask me anything else?"

She was the head maid of the imperial palace and didn’t ask me a word about this situation.

I thought you'd ask me right away when you hear the news…

You might be surprised, but Helen acted the same way as always.

She even warned the other maids not to disturb me.

The head maid of the imperial palace ranked second among the servants who worked in the imperial family, after the emperor's assistant.

Since this was a high position, Helen had many responsibilities, but she coped with everyone and even did more than was required.

Ellie made the decision to compensate Helen accordingly.

Helen seemed to be concerned about my question and then slowly moved her lips after a long silence.

"…I've always thought about taking the side of the Empress."

"What do you mean?"

"It's off topic, but … I wish Her Majesty had a happier life."

"…What?"

At this moment, I couldn’t hide my embarrassment. Helen lowered her eyes, as if regretting that she had said.

"I’ve always watched you, Your Majesty, and I dare to say that you are doing the right thing."

And I thought she was just a maid who only works for the sake of prestige and salary…

I was surprised at her sincerity.

"Even if your position as head maid of the palace disappears, you will be accepted in your family without shame, I will grant you a large sum of money as compensation."

But when she heard me, her face darkened.

Is there something you don't like?

"What is it?"

"I’d like to continue to serve the Empress. I wanted to leave my family and become a maid."

"Ah…"

I had never heard of her family affairs, but it was clear from her heavy expression that she had many problems with her family.

But I have a secret that I cannot reveal to anyone, so I couldn’t figure out if I should trust Helen.

If I keep Helen by my side, she'll know I'm pregnant.

But I will not raise this child as if he is Raymond’s, and I will never reveal to him that he has the blood of the imperial family.

In any case, I was planning to leave the empire, give birth and change his status, because I do not want my child to die in the struggle for the throne.

And that was very dangerous. It was such a risk.

Can I put Helen to such a test?

I had no choice but to ponder every step I took.

When I couldn't say anything, Helen knelt down.

"Helen, why are you suddenly doing this, get up."

"Your Majesty, I really have nowhere to go. I'll be the Empress's maid all my life, so you can't get rid of me."

Helen's despair was out of my control. I opened my mouth, thinking that I should go to meet her.

"Okay, get up. You will leave the imperial palace with me."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

Only then did Helen's face brighten.

"My Empress, when are you going to leave the Imperial Palace?"

Until now, empresses have left the palace twice in history, this was after the order for enthronement was issued and after the response from the temple was heard allowing it.

But the empresses did not try to be the first to leave the Imperial Palace, they were kicked out… they waited until the emperor gave the order.

We were in different positions.

"If His Majesty agrees to this letter, we will leave the Imperial Palace tomorrow."

"Ah, tomorrow? So what do you need to prepare…"

She shook her head, staring at Helen speaking with wide eyes.

"I won't take anything with me."

"Will you throw away all your jewelry and gifts from His Majesty?"

"Yes. They were all given to me when I was married to His Majesty, so I don’t want to take anything with me."

Without the slightest regret, I will drop everything associated with him.

Helen calmly accepted the letter from my hands.

"Your Majesty, should I send a letter to the Sun Palace right now?"

"You're absolutely right."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Helen quickly left the room and remembered that there was a place to stop before leaving the Imperial Palace.

"If there are no more problems related to the divorce, I will leave the imperial palace tomorrow."

Raymond's face froze after he read the short text in the letter.

He was so angry with her for mentioning his mother that he impulsively sent documents to the temple, but he never really wanted to.

But it looks like she was just waiting for it.

Ellie Croft, who had been with him for many years, incredibly quickly wanted to divorce him.

It would be easier to believe that someone else wrote this letter.

However, the handwriting in the letter belongs to Ellie.

Raymond put the letter on the table as if he was about to throw it away.