I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

The metropolitan nobility was hungry for lavish party after a whole series of misadventures, so that the banquet didn’t stop until late at night.

If it was a person accustomed to feasts and libations, he would still be on his feet. But I was pretty tired maybe because it had been a while.

After changing my clothes, I headed to Carlisle's room and ran into Raymond at the door.

The banquet dragged on until late at night, and Carlisle was already asleep in the living room.

Then Raymond returned with Carlisle in his arms.

"Did Carlisle fall asleep?"

"He woke up for a moment on my way back."

"He fell fast asleep. I think it's better not to wake him up."

Raymond said when he called my attention to visiting Carlisle.

“Empress, you must have been tired today, so take a good rest. I'll be back now."

He walked away without waiting for an answer.

I stopped in my steps and turned to him.

It was dark already well past midnight.

It was too late for the Emperor to return to his Palace.

He and I wouldn’t have become an ordinary couple, so a separate life was completely fine with me. But what I heard at the party got on my nerves.

‘The nobility wondered why the Emperor and the Empress were postponing the first night.’

The servants and officials of the palace will surely spread even more gossip.

My previous mistake was that I missed the gaze of others while chasing Lisa and Carlisle's crowning as Crown Prince.

Whatever the circumstances of our life with Raymond, at least for strangers, our relationship should be ideal.

Sighing in my hearts, I called him back.

"Your Majesty."

He turned at my call.

"It's too late… Stay the night here today."

At that moment, Raymond's eyes widened. As if he didn't believe what was happening, a storm rose in his eyes.

‘Don't tell me you took it in other way.'

"…Are you serious?"

‘I didn't think so, but he really seemed to take it that way.'

As I cleared my throat, I looked at the courtiers with my head down instead of answering him.

After reading my countenance, he looked at me now with a completely different expression on his face.

He seemed to understand what I mean.

Looking a bit bitter, he spoke casually.

"…It's late, so I'd better stay here today."

"Then let's go to my room, Your Majesty."

Leaving behind the eyes of the courtiers who were secretly aiming at us, I made my way to the room with Raymond.

* * *

"Have a good time, Your Majesties."

"Of course."

The maids who were arranging the bedroom left the room, and we were the only ones left in the room.

‘I brought it to show the courtiers, but why is it so awkward?'

If you look like that, this is not the first time I have shared a bedroom with him.

When I felt strange, I opened the shawl over my pajamas, and then I heard Raymond's voice.

"Why do you care about the courtiers' gaze all of a sudden?"

When I turned my head, my eyes met his. With a slight frown on his forehead, he continued.

"Did someone say something bad?"

"At the party, there was a talk about His Majesty and our union. In fact, this problem should have been settled well in advance. I was wrong, thinking it would be easy to do, and I had many other problems on my hands."

"…Does that mean we really have to set a date for the room share?"

"Until Carlisle becomes a full-fledged prince… The relationship between His Majesty and me must be perfect. And we, as a good couple, we should be together often."

“…”

I added right away so that he wouldn’t misunderstand me.

“Of course we will set a date, but it doesn't actually mean that I will sleep with your Majesty. It's all about pretending to be the perfect couple."

“…Okay, I got it. There is no other meaning. I won't misunderstand, so don't worry."

With a light sigh, Raymond unbuttoned his shirt one by one. Embarrassed by this action, I pulled away.

"What are you doing, you said just now that you won't get me wrong."

When I screamed like she was crazy, her hand stopped as she undid the button. And he tilted his head at an angle and gave me a strange look.

"Do I have to sit in a tailcoat until tomorrow morning? …It would seem more natural to change me.”

"…"

I looked down. Then, unlike me, who put on pajamas, I saw that he was still wearing the shirt that he hadn't taken off yet. And on the table was Raymond's pajamas prepared by the maids.

‘Oh my.'

Obviously, I was overreacting.

I even forgot that he hadn't changed.

I was so tired that my head stopped working when we were the only one left in the bedroom.

"Is it confusing to you?" the Emperor said to me, bowing his head.

I said quietly with my head tilted in case my embarrassed face was caught.

"…Change in the dressing room."

"Okay."

Fortunately, Raymond silently went straight to the dressing room.

When the door closed, I felt the heat from my cheeks.

"Huu."

There was no need to react like that.

It was embarrassing and I was very sorry, but it was too late. The Emperor will return, but tomorrow the news will spread around the palace that a marital quarrel has taken place between the Emperor and the Empress.

‘The Emperor was driven out at dawn by the Empress.'

Time will pass faster if I fall asleep.

“…I should sleep on the couch.”

My dislike for him aside, it wouldn't look so nice to put the Emperor of a country to sleep on the couch.

This is my first time sleeping on the couch, but it's so spacious and fluffy… A night or so will be fine.

The room door opened and Raymond entered, dressed in pajamas.

"You're still standing like this. You're not going to stand like this until tomorrow morning, are you?"

Unlike me, who was nervous in a subtle mood, Raymond's face was calm.

He even had the mood to joke. Oddly enough, he was now like a fish in water.

‘It's natural to be comfortable.'

I was so uselessly nervous. The nervousness that started at the party had been less profound.

However, it was not my intention to flirt with him and exchange pleasantries.

I clearly answered with a face without a trace of a smile.

"That won't happen."

"It's too late, so go to bed."

"Yes your Majesty?"

I tried to say that I had left the bed for him.

But Raymond made his way to the couch as a matter of course with a pillow in hand.

Although it was a long and wide couch, it couldn’t accommodate his entire body.

I walked over to him, looking at the long legs hanging from the couch.

"Your Majesty, sleep on the bed."

Raymond's eyes widened, then he turned to the side and looked at me.

"Where then will you sleep if I’m in bed? Do you want me to make you sleep on the couch?"

"It’s okay. Your Majesty is so uncomfortable."

"You, too. You couldn't even sleep here."

He looked stubborn.

"Your Majesty…"

"You are uncomfortable and I’m uncomfortable, so should we both sleep in the same bed?"

His question left me speechless.

Sleep together?

I would never have shared a bed with him.

I tried to give the bed out of consideration to him, but if he really doesn't like it, that's enough.

I hurried away from the couch.

"Well. Your Majesty's couch is so comfortable that I give it to you. Ha, please, sweet dreams."

Turning around without regret, I heard a small laugh behind me.

I pretended not to hear and went to bed. All the bright lights were extinguished, and only one large candle remained.

The two legs sticking out of the sofa irritated me strangely.

However, it doesn't matter. I have nothing to worry about trifles.

It was he who refused my offer.

Forgetting that he was in the same room with me, I dissolved into bed and fell asleep.

* * *

When the room became quiet and Ellie's breathing evened out, Raymond opened his eyes.

"You're sleeping well," his low voice, close to a whisper, dispersed in the air.

Ellie fell asleep almost as soon as she went to bed. Just like in their shared past.

Raymond felt exhausted, but managed to squeeze out a slight chuckle.

It seems that it is he, and not her, who will have a sleepless night.

He pretended to be all right, but inside he was more nervous than she was.

How many nights he spent with Ellie in years past, but the weight of emotion between the past and the present was completely different.

And this was a situation to be approached lightly.

He was only nervous because there were only two of them in the same room.

‘I could make a mistake.’

‘Wouldn't that make her feel uncomfortable?'’

And a heart that beats unstoppably towards her.

Raymond stood up cautiously. He didn’t believe that he could fall asleep this night while he was in this room.

He leaned back on the couch with a deep breath.

He scanned the familiar ceiling, listening for Ellie's breathing.

He tried to distract himself, but now nothing came to his mind except Ellie.

This moment with her captured his entire mind.

"… It's going to be a long night."

Raymond turned and looked out the window.

Even the silver light of the moon, rising into the sky, reminded him of Ellie, and he smiled.

He lay still until the silver moon disappeared and stayed awake all night with Ellie’s light breathing.