I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

Jeremy shouted joyfully, and the man who was chopping wood in front of the house turned his head.

Jeremy left me and walked over to him. And soon the two embraced. To be exact, it was Jeremy's one-sided hug… Raker's eyes were on me.

"Jeremy, that person can't be…"

Raker's deep voice was heard. He seems to have realized who I’m.

It wouldn’t have been difficult to recognize me, because I wasn’t in any way disguised.

Silver hair and purple eyes were not common in the Empire.

Raker frowned and pushed Jeremy roughly away.

"Go back."

Jeremy's awkward laugh was heard, making me take a couple of steps back.

"Haha, Raker, listen to me first…"

"I don’t want to hear anything. Get out. And you should never come back here again.."

Very angry, he is unlikely to listen to anything. Being firmly angry, it was unlikely that he would hear anything.

I did not want to use this method. With a small sigh, I approached them. And I told the Baron that he was looking at me with eyes full of enmity.

"We are in the lands of the Agrita Empire. My dear, you cannot tell the Empress to go out."

"…Then I'll go."

"If you ignore me and leave, I will order you to be arrested for disrespecting the royal family."

Raker froze. He just had to stop. His face was full of displeasure.

I looked at him and let go of my hardened expression.

"I'm sorry to force you. But if I don't do this, I can't help it because I don't think you'll listen to me."

"If you're sorry, please leave me alone."

"I can’t. Otherwise, there will be no chance at all that you will go to meet me."

"I have no reason to meet the Empress."

"Raker."

Jeremy resented the disrespectful tone. But Raker didn’t move.

He just looked at me with a confident look to kill me. There seemed to be a lot more hostility towards the Empire than I thought.

"…I heard that it is the duty of the wise not to turn a blind eye to those who ask for help. You don't even want to listen to me.”

"…"

Raker, who had previously frowned and shot me with eyes full of fire, suddenly stopped.

"As you can see, I didn’t come as an Empress. But as a mother of a child, I came to ask for a favor. But you hate us so much… that I can only turn around and leave."

The moment I turned away, I heard Raker's voice.

"…Stop."

"Yes…?"

"What kind of help are you asking for… I'll listen first."

Even if he's disgusted with the Empire, he can't seem to give up his duty as a sage. Finally Raker raised the white flag.

"You stay out."

"Alright. I'll just chop wood."

Raker gave Jeremy a brutal look and led me to the hut.

The hut was small but well arranged.

"You can sit there."

Raker pointed to the wooden table. I sat on the chair and asked.

"Did you do it yourself?"

“…Yeah, that doesn't mean there's a problem. I am cleaning it every day so that it is not dirty.”

"What do you mean dirty? I didn't even think about it. I'm just asking, because everything looks so neat here. The work of the master can be seen from a mile away."

There wasn’t a single sharp corner, not a crooked board, as if everything had been carved out by a good carpenter. Raker showed surprise at my sincere admiration.

He gave me a strange look and put a cup of tea in front of me.

As soon as he sat down opposite, he immediately got down to the point.

"What I want to tell you is to be His Highness's teacher."

"I understood."

"I told you. I have a desperate request as the mother of a child."

Raker spoke calmly, but his eyes were fierce.

"Leaving the castle doesn’t mean living and knowing what is happening in the Empire. In particular, your story with the Emperor is popular not only in the Empire, but throughout the continent."

"Of course you say no."

"Yes. I’m not going to be the teacher of His Highness Crown Prince. And not even because he is the prince of the Agrita Empire. I don’t want to have a relationship with the authorities," he said firmly. It seemed that there was no intention to cave in.

Looking into his unwavering brown eyes, I spat out a ‘Hmm’. A moment of silence followed and I slowly opened my mouth.

"I knew you would refuse. But I couldn't give up a talent like yours, so I came here."

"Your Majesty…"

"I know you hate power. But you also know that this power can change many things when you make good use of it."

"…What do you mean?"

"You have traveled the continent and selected poor but capable disciples. These are the students who were once like you. Wouldn't you like to bring these disciples to a higher place and educate them?"

“…”

“Teaching children while sitting in the mountains is a waste of talents. Wouldn't you like to change the world, make it fairer, using these very abilities wisely? Build a society where a person is recognized for his ability, regardless of status and financial power."

Raker's eyes trembled violently. For the first time since the beginning of the dialogue.

"And this is the world that I also want to see. And I need a teacher who will guide the young prince to achieve such an ideal, because the time will come and he will become the Emperor."

The fact that he became disillusioned with the Empire doesn’t mean that the ideal world that he dreamed of as a scientist has also disappeared.

If he had abandoned his ideas, he wouldn’t have nurtured his students.

Raker's lips parted in confusion. My proposal was too tempting to say no.

I smiled as I saw the inner conflict on his face.

"You don’t need to answer right now. Today I just arrived to make an offer. I hear you will stay in the Empire for a while. When you have made your decision, send me a letter through Duke Drua."

"As you say… Your Majesty."

Raker answered in a low voice with a look very different from the one at the beginning.

* * *

"Actually, this time… I didn't even think you could do it."

As I left Raker's hut and walked down the mountain trail with Jeremy, he cautiously told me.

"Because Raker is a man who harbors a strong hatred of all authority. He made many enemies in other kingdoms, and here and there he entered into fights with the nobles. So I doubted it. But Raker's heart seemed to shake."

"…"

"You are really incredible," Jeremy added with sincere admiration.

"It's still not a success. I haven't heard Raker's answer yet."

"It's almost a success. Raker is not a person who worries about that. I'm sure he'll say yes. I bet my entire fortune that he will say yes."

Jeremy laughed mischievously.

"That you're saying it… It makes me feel so much more comfortable."

"Don’t worry about anything. If it doesn't work out, I'll just tie him up and throw him into the Palace."

I lost all focus, either from his jokes, or maybe because picturesque mountain landscapes opened up in front of me.

"It's been a long time since I just walked in the mountains like that."

"…You have had too many things, Your Majesty. Now that I think about it, it's also been a while since I've had this kind of relaxation."

"So many things fell on us at once. Did the Duchy find stability?"

"Yes. All the workers are organized and enthusiastic to build the new Drua estate."

"You'll do fine."

As we walked slowly along the trail, exchanging lines and admiring the scenery, I turned and looked Jeremy in the face.

He looked down at his feet with a kind of concern on his face.

"Jeremy, what's going on?"

He flinched at my question. I saw indecision flicker in his amber eyes.

"If you have something to say, tell me."

"It’s…"

If there is a problem, which he should be afraid of… There was only one such problem.

I put forward a guess:

"Is it about the first prince?"

"Yes. It worries me. Let the truth be revealed, but it seems that I ruined the life of the first prince, who he is still so young."

I saw his face, unable to hide the feeling of guilt.

When I was thinking about the fate of the first prince, there were many things that didn’t suit me either.

After all, it was just an innocent child.

"I don't like all this. But this is the truth that can’t be buried. Instead, I'm thinking of moving carefully."

"…"

"The first prince… I will never kick him out of the palace until I get proof that he is not the son of His Majesty."

"Can you find the evidence?"

"The Sios family has a son."

"Oh yes. Come to think of it, I've heard this. There was a young son, who had nothing outstanding compared to Lisa. No way… But what does he know?"

"The moment he disappeared was after a big quarrel with the deceased Crown Prince. He must know at least something that we don’t know about the relationship between Lisa and that prince."

“…I hope I can find it soon.”

"Forget this story for a moment. I will always be grateful to you for everything."

"Yes? What do you mean…?"

"From the time I sailed to the Lund Kingdom until now, I wouldn’t have stood here like this if it weren’t for you. Thanks a lot, Jeremy."

It may not be enough to just say thank him, but at least I've always wanted to express my sincere thanks.

Jeremy's amber eyes trembled. He chuckled awkwardly.

"There is nothing to be modest here. You have proved yourself so many times."

The moment he regained his composure, I slipped on the damp ground.

"Ah!"

At the moment when I had already tightly closed my eyes, someone's hands grabbed my waist.

Jeremy's face was in front of my eyes.

"…"

It was so close I could see his amber eyes seemed to be sprinkled with gold powder.

And while I was embarrassed by his face right in front of my nose, Jeremy smiled smoothly.

"You have my help again this time, Your Majesty."

I stand up. When the embarrassment left, I remembered the posture of almost falling down sadly. Regardless of the Empress's face, I was quite embarrassed.

I was embarrassed to avoid his gaze and cleared my throat as if nothing had happened.

"Thank you."

"The path is slippery, so we'd better hold hands."

He held out his hand and I wanted to hide in a rat hole, but as he said, the road was slippery.

I still took his hand, not looking in his direction.

When we passed the mountain path, and the danger receded along with embarrassment, I told him:

"If you need anything from me, tell me anything."

“…”

His formerly smiling face suddenly tightened and his steps stopped.

‘I have made a mistake? …I just wanted to repay you somehow.'

Maybe he was in a bad mood and a lonely expression passed over his face.

"Jeremy?"

When I called him curiously, he seemed to look right through me and only smiled, as if nothing had happened.

"I don’t know. There was something I longed for, but now… Leave my hand, just drop it. I really don't want anything more."

These were significant words.

I wondered what he wanted, but I couldn’t penetrate into his sorrowful look.

"Then maybe something else…"

"It's just… I think it's not bad, after all, everything has grown together? Her Majesty is fine… The Crown Prince is safe. And I, too… at peace."

It was a gentle but decisive refusal.

A reward that he didn’t ask for will become a burden to him, so I forced myself to give up.

"Alright. Well, the sun is about to set. We'd better hurry."

"Yes, Your Majesty."

His face, his awkward smile created a sad picture. But I don't think he will give out the reason. So I turned away and pretended not to see it.

So, Jeremy and I hurried down the mountain to be in time before sunset.