I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

"Sorry what?"

The doctor who had been looking at the floor all the way was now puzzled and stared at me.

"I asked if there are any withered buds or flowers of Agiodita that haven’t bloomed yet."

"I haven't checked that. What is needed for the antidote is Agiodita flower in full bloom… If it does not contain vitality, nothing will work for us, Your Majesty."

The doctor added an explanation. Did he think that I wanted to try my luck with unopened buds or dead flowers?

The doctor hasn’t yet seen my abilities. And this surprise was self-evident. But I didn't have such a ridiculous idea. I could use my ability as long as there were flowers left, even if it was a bud or a dead plant.

Because I had the ability to give life to plants.

If the flowers bloom, it will be Raymond's salvation.

I will have to show my hidden abilities to several people, but that wasn't important. It was more important to save Raymond.

"Herrington, send an emergency message to the Holy Land immediately to see if they have any buds or dead flowers."

"Yes?"

"I'll take care of what comes after that. Move. That's an order."

The doctor looked at me strangely, but he couldn’t say anything more, and rushed to work.

There was little time to explain all the details to him.

I asked the remaining doctor from the imperial palace.

"Keep him in this world until we wait for the antidote. Is there any way?

"At the moment, there is no other way but to apply the same medicine. But the poison is spreading faster than I thought… I can't guarantee it either.”

I saw Raymond. I could see the face of him lying dead.

“…Do your best somehow.”

"Yes, Your Majesty."

Then I turned to the butler.

"Cut off all the ends so that the gossip about the Emperor doesn’t leak out. His Majesty… He will definitely survive. You have to behave as usual."

"Yes, Your Majesty.”

"And bring Duke Croft here."

"As you order."

The butler left, as did the imperial doctors.

Thus, only the two of us remained in the bedroom.

I went to the bed.

Raymond lay motionless.

Since Agiodita was like a treasure in the Holy Land, it wouldn’t have been burned right away, just because it dried up.

When even a withered flower is delivered to me, we can get the antidote.

Then Raymond will live.

‘But why am I so nervous?’

I was ready to leave him, but I could never imagine that Raymond would leave this world.

I never thought that he would die first…

But here he lies with a pale face.

Even hanging on the brink of death, he behaved as if there was nothing wrong with it.

"There was only one dose of antidote… And now the Emperor is like this.”

These words came to mind.

When I brought the antidote, Raymond was right in front of me.

Now I understand why that doctor hesitated strangely when he said that there was only enough for one.

"Because…"

Raymond's face didn't even flinch when he said to give the antidote to Carlisle.

He saved Carlisle by betting his own life on it.

My breath quickened and tears came to my eyes.

I already knew that he cares about Carlisle , but I thought he wouldn't be as worried as I was.

One of the reasons I left him came down to my belief that he wouldn’t give Carlisle life.

Even now, when Raymond insisted that he loved me, mistrust was still growing inside.

He said it, but who knows when he might change his mind?

But now we are approaching the moment that he will die, covering our son with him. In addition, he didn’t even tell me the truth, fearing to make me feel guilty.

"…I'm sorry for you. Since when have you been such a foolish person…?”

‘Since when do you think of me like that?'

My eyes continued to burn, I tried to turn my gaze away from him. And then I heard a painful groan.

“Ugh…”

His face was contorted with pain.

"If His Majesty is in pain, you should give the painkillers."

It was said that the pain would be very intense as the poison spread.

I hurried to open the bottle cap and spilled the medicine into his mouth.

I was worried that he would vomit, but luckily Raymond swallowed the medicine without difficulty.

"Hmmm!"

I quickly held his hand when he made a groan, while looking at him with a tense face after taking the medicine.

"Raymond…"

Did the seriousness of my heart reach him? I let go of his hand and breathed a sigh of relief as I watched the strangled breathing gradually calmed down. His hand fell again and my heart sank at that moment, but he didn't die, but the pain was gone and he lost his strength.

I let go of his hand, breathing in relief when I saw his breathing much better. And with a handkerchief I dried his forehead soaked in cold sweat.

"Ray… You have to hold on."

‘You can't die like this. If you leave me like this, I will never forgive you.’

"So, live."

‘You said you would wait until I forgive you, so you should never die.'

Click…

"Your Majesty!"

"Have you sent a message to the Holy Land?"

I put the handkerchief on the table and looked back at the doctor who had just burst into the room.

"Fortunately, they have withered flowers."

"It's a wilted flower, so it doesn't matter if they send it through the wizards, right?"

"Yes, it is already a dead flower. They said they would send it right tomorrow. But Your Majesty, do you really know how to save the Emperor with dead flowers?"

The doctor asked cautiously.

"Tomorrow you will see with your own eyes. In the meantime, you need to do your best to keep His Majesty breathing."

The doctor lowered his head.

"I'll get some medicine."

When the imperial doctor came out and I tried to snuggle up to Raymond again, the butler stopped me.

"Your Majesty, His Excellency Duke Croft is already waiting."

"Father."

Father entered the bedroom and saw Raymond lying on the bed.

"His Majesty…"

From the distorted face of my father, he seemed to imagine the worst.

"His Majesty took the medicine and fell into a deep sleep."

"Oh…"

Only then did my father breathe out.

And turned his head to me.

"Did you find out everything?"

"Father. Whatever the Emperor ordered you, you shouldn’t hide the case from me."

My father wiped his tired face with his hand.

"I was afraid that if you find out the whole truth, you will live with guilt for the rest of your life. I apologize."

It wasn’t for Raymond, but for me. This is what my father couldn’t say out loud.

I know how much my father thinks about me. And I also knew his loyalty to Raymond.

"I didn't want to blame my father."

“No, Your Majesty… How could I not do anything wrong when you are like this?”

"…"

“I couldn't stop him that day. Because he wanted Carlisle to live. If His Majesty dies like this…”

I held my father's hand tight as I watched him collapse.

"Father. There is nothing to fear. His Majesty won’t die. We'll make the antidote tomorrow."

“How so… I heard that flowers, the main ingredient of the antidote, couldn’t be obtained.”

My father also seemed to have heard the story of Agiodita.

“Tomorrow, a withered Agiodita will arrive at the imperial palace. And I'm going to save the flower."

“How can you get it from a dead flower…”

I smiled at my father who looked at me with a look that indicated he didn’t understand.

"Instead of explaining a hundred times, come and see it yourself. So leave His Majesty to me and go see Carlisle today."

My father stared at me with confused eyes.

But soon he nodded, as if he believed in me.

"I see. But will you stay with him?"

"Yes. Until he take the antidote tomorrow."

It will be reassuring to see what happens with Raymond in person.

"Okay, then I'll go to His Highness."

With one last look of dismay at the unconscious Raymond, my father soon left the bedroom.

So, again, we were the only ones left in the bedroom.

"I can make an antidote tomorrow. So… Please hold on. Ray.”

I tried to calm my rushing thoughts and took Raymond's pale hand.

* * *

"Your Majesty the Empress, Your Majesty!"

The sound of someone calling my name rang in my ears.

When I lifted my heavy eyelids, I felt a throbbing pain from the back of my head to my shoulders.

‘I fell asleep?'

"Ah…"

When I looked up, the sun was already high outside the window.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, father."

I was woken up by none other than my father.

"Did Carlisle sleep well yesterday?"

"Yes. I just took him to his lessons. How is the Emperor?"

Father's gaze turned to Raymond. Raymond moaned intermittently last night and vomited blood. However, if you feed him medicine, he calmed down for a while.

"He holds on, but… It can't last forever."

"You said the flower will be delivered today, and then His Majesty will be saved?"

"Yes. We can make an antidote right away."

The faces of the father and the butler twitched slightly.

Maybe they still doubt my answer.

Then I asked the butler.

"Haven't the flowers from the Holy Land arrived yet?"

"I haven’t contacted the temple yet."

The next moment the door to the bedroom opened, and one of the servants hastened to report:

"Your Majesty, they say the flowers have just been sent from the Holy Land."