I Won’t Accept Your Regrets

The closer the servant went, the more clearly the child was seen holding in his arms. And then my heart began to pound.

This is the end, everything is gone.

I couldn't stop the trembling of my fingertips.

The boy held by the servant was a copy of Raymond. The same black hair and eyes that seemed to conceal the night sky. These were signs of imperial blood.

Taking the child from the maid, Lisa opened her mouth and looked at Raymond with tearful eyes.

"Your Majesty, this is our baby, Edmund."

With confusion in my head, I looked only at the child in her arms. Lisa… returned… with the child.

The next day, an uproar arose in the capital over the story of the emperor's extramarital affair.

The emperor's son appeared in public, where many nobility gathered. The rumors were already unstoppable.

All newspapers were dedicated to the newly-minted son of the emperor.

And there was also a story about a childless empress.

"Your Majesty, the Duke Croft is waiting in the living room."

At this time, I thoughtlessly stared in the mirror, and could only recover from Helen's voice. When I turned my head, Helen was looking at me worriedly.

Normally, I would just give her a slight smile, but now… it was different.

"Your Majesty, this is our child, Edmund."

Because of that, I did not sleep all night, and sobbed very bitterly. I still had a sore throat from crying tears, and the image of that child still did not leave my head.

I was shocked to the point where I couldn't remember exactly how I left the party.

The only thing I remember is that Raymond didn't say a word to me.

"Let's go to the living room."

I forced myself to smile and walked into the living room, where my father was waiting for me.

"Greetings to the Empress."

I entered the living room and my father, who was waiting for me, got up from his seat.

"Hello, father."

I went up to him and held out my hand. Despair flashed across his father's face.

Apparently, having heard the latest news, he also could not sleep well and arrived at the Imperial Palace.

When my mother died, my father raised me with the utmost care and remained always faithful to my mother.

Maybe that's why my father was unhappy when I said that I would fight for Raymond's love.

He knew that I had to be the empress in order to strengthen Raymond's position as emperor. The father supported the uprising, and for this he was awarded the title of duke.

But he was not happy, because he knew that Raymond did not love me.

"Ellie, whatever the imperial power, the nobles will always be unhappy."

"But I love Raymond, Father."

I answered him with a happy smile, and my father just threw a sad look at me.

"A relationship built on unrequited love… it's not so bad! After all, I will never tire of loving him."

At the time, I was as happy as I was stupid. The fact that I could stand next to Raymond made me the happiest person in the world.

I thought a wonderful future was already in my pocket.

I thought that in my life there will be even more happiness, because I will have children with Raymond.

But this test came to me much faster than I thought.

I sat down on the sofa next to my father and ordered Helen:

"Everyone get out."

The maids left the drawing-room, and the door closed behind them.

An oppressive silence reigned in the living room. Neither my father nor I could easily begin to speak.

The baby that Lisa brought in turned the whole empire upside down.

Even my father will not be able to tell me what to do in the future.

When I saw my father's violet eyes, full of concern and anxiety, I finally opened my mouth:

"Father, I'm sorry I made you worry."

I was really sorry.

This whole marriage was on my initiative.

Now that it happened, I could see how painful my father was.

Looking at me, my father had deep wrinkles on his forehead.

“You have nothing to regret. It's just that all the circumstances have turned against your aspirations.”

The father fell silent, sighed hard, and opened his mouth again.

"How did you react to that?"

"…I haven't said anything yet."

"…"

My father swallowed nervously.

"What matters now is how you react."

"I was going to speak to His Majesty today."

Raymond, what is he thinking now?

All the way to the palace, he never even glanced at me.

Perhaps the thoughts of Lisa and the child completely drove everything out of his head.

What should I tell him and what will happen to my child?

I got dizzy from this mess.

"Ellie."

I opened my eyes and heard the voice of my father calling my name. It shocked me because he had never called me by my name since I became empress.

"…Dad"

"I just wish you happiness. I don't know if it will be right now. Will you be happy in this palace?"

My father looked at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry about that. But I cannot dissolve my marriage."

I loved Raymond and always remembered our happy days, and never regretted that everything turned out this way.

But right now…

He never thought of me, although a child appeared, named his son.

Have you ever wondered what shock and pain I am experiencing? Or you do not care?

Will he be glad to know that I am pregnant?

Now I understand my father's feelings.

"I'm sorry, father. I don’t know what to do."

I don't know what the future holds for me.

I swallowed words that I couldn’t say.

"Ellie, just know one thing. You are my daughter, and if you are unhappy in this palace, you can always return home."

I was amazed at what he said.

It was like telling me to leave my place as empress.

"Father, I…"

It never entered my head to part with Raymond. He gave me a determined look.

"I think his abilities as emperor are excellent, Ellie, but I don't think he will care as much for you as I do."

"…"

"As you know, His Majesty is a man who killed his own flesh and blood, his relatives, and ascended the throne."

"Father, this… then His Majesty had no other choice to survive."

"Yes I know. But that is not all. I've been with him as long as you have. Ellie, and all these cruel things that you haven't seen…"

The father took a deep breath.

"If His Majesty accepts the child as a prince, and something happens between you in the distant future, I'm not sure he will choose you, he might choose his son instead."

"…"

No, Raymond said he would never leave me.

But my father was right.

He wanted a child, a continuation of his lineage.

I have seen a hundred times already that I am not his priority, but my child cannot be ignored.

But if, as my father said, a situation arises where you have to choose between my child and Lisa's son, Raymond… I don't think he will side with my child.

I don’t want to admit it, but that was the reality.

"Your Majesty, I just want you to be always happy."

My father stroked my hand and smiled.

Looking into my father's violet eyes, the same as mine, the first thought came to me like this:

One of the options for the future is to leave Raymond to protect me and my child.

Towards evening, when my father left, and I gathered my thoughts, Helen entered the room with a worried expression on her face.

"Your Majesty."

"What's happened?"

"His Majesty has arrived at the Empress's palace."

"What?"

Usually he never came to my palace at such a time.

I got up from my seat, tidying up my clothes. And then, Raymond entered the open door.

"Empress, I need to tell you something."