Idol’s Childhood Friend

29 – PD, I’m going to have an open relationship.

Instead of going to the front where there’s a lot of stuff, I go to the back and put down the coffee and bread I brought.

They were also surprised by the sudden visit.

Smile slightly and say hello.

“Thank you for your time today.”

“Time… ?”

“… I forgot. “He texted me last night saying he’d stop by.”

“Oh, that’s right… ?”

The producer looked embarrassed and the writer finally realized the whole story.

Looking at the expressions on the faces of the two people on opposite ends of the spectrum, I thought they were going to have a lot of conversation, so I quickly joined in the conversation.

“Try it later while you’re working. “I bought it last night from a really good place.”

“Did you buy this there? “In Seongsan-dong.”

When I hurriedly showed him the packaged bread, the PD’s eyes suddenly changed.

Jo Yoon-ah swallows her saliva while looking at the chestnut bread.

“Oh~. “Do you know something about bread?”

“When I was in college, I loved bread so much that I went looking for famous bakeries.”

Producer smiled and nodded when I winked.

He quickly picked up a bread and said thank you, and then the author smiled and said that he would enjoy it and took out three cream puff breads, and stored the remaining bread in the mini refrigerator.

I also look around while eating the cream puff I took out.

“Can’t you see the two of you?”

“The youngest children went on a field trip. Oh, if I hadn’t forgotten, it would have been an opportunity to have tea with my idol, but I’m sorry for no reason.”

“It’s a shame. “I prepared four cups of coffee to match the number of people.”

“There is nothing we can do. But that’s it, I’ll have to brag later that Chaewon came and went.”

“hehehe, shall we take a proof photo together later?”

I smiled slightly and carefully sat down.

The two of them also sat comfortably on the chairs and started eating bread, and spent some time talking about the three major bakeries in Seoul with PD.

“I came here today because there were many things I wanted to apologize for.”

When the story is about to end, I carefully bring the main topic to the topic.

He smiled, but his expression was not quite bright.

The writer and producer who read this also looked like they thought it was not a light story, but they soon tried to put on a bright expression.

I look into the eyes of the two of you alternately and then part my lips.

“If we continue like this, the program will become very difficult, right?”

“It’s getting harder…” ? “You could have seen our reaction on set, but it was really fun.”

Producer who responded right away.

It may have been a reflex, but I felt even more sorry because I knew PD Yoona didn’t just say it with empty words.

“No. Not fun. What I’m saying is…….”

Stop-. The very act of creating this situation was a huge inconvenience to the two of them, and they thought it would disqualify them as contestants, so they did not say it out loud.

Still, it was right to face the situation somehow and ask for forgiveness, so I took a sip of coffee and calmly cleared my throat.

Take a deep breath and open your mouth.

“You’re harboring strange feelings that don’t even belong to me and Yumin…. Yes. I know very well that it won’t be possible to remove it through editing…. “I’m so sorry about that.”

I was so shameless that a bright smile spread across my face without me even realizing it. Since it is not a situation to laugh, I force myself to swallow my laughter and ask for forgiveness.

“It would not have been possible to prepare and film something like this with the situation in mind. Because I was emotionally immature, I caused too much trouble to the production crew. “I am truly sorry.”

Get up from your seat and bow down.

“Chae, Chaewon?!”

“If you bow your head like that… !!”

“You have to bow down. Because of my personal life, I put a burden on the production crew that I shouldn’t have to bear. “You have to bow down no matter how many times.”

“Well, we’re really fine, so let’s just keep our heads down somehow…” !!”

“Please don’t do that. I really couldn’t have imagined something like this… !!”

The two people urgently helped me up from my seat.

I came to apologize, but instead, I looked up with a faint smile as I felt like I was going to receive an apology.

“I came here today because I wanted to talk about this with you two.”

+++

“There was a time around the end of October 2019 when I was inactive for about half a year.”

Looking at the pure white table, I begin to speak incoherently.

“At that time, the song ‘Secret’ was loved by many people.”

“I remember. “That song put Ever on the Billboard for the first time.”

“Yes. Thanks to this, I was able to travel around the U.S. And perform and even appear on talk shows. “It was almost the end when I stopped working.”

I take a sip of coffee.

The memories of that day that I recall little by little. It’s still unpleasant and burdensome, but it hasn’t changed……

“I ended up in the hospital. “About a month.”

But now, even if we see each other face to face, it doesn’t hurt.

“… “A hospital?”

“Yes. When I went home after my schedule, I just picked it up and passed out. Honestly, I felt it at that time. Ah, this is panic.”

“”… ….””

“Oh, you don’t have to look so serious. “I’ve overcome it brilliantly now.”

They smiled brightly in an attempt to do something to ease the suddenly heavy atmosphere, but their expressions did not improve much.

Honestly, it was a natural reaction. How can you react when a celebrity who always shows a bright side suddenly reveals that he collapsed due to panic?

Even if you’re like me, you can’t say anything and don’t know what expression to make, so it’s easy to break down.

I shrug my shoulders and continue the story.

“There were many complications at that time. With panic disorder comes depression, and with depression comes agoraphobia, social phobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depersonalization…. Anyway, I had a lot of complaints about something.”

“”… ….””

“It was a common reason. Stress was building up, and I didn’t know how to protect myself from that stress. But I don’t want anyone to see my weak side. I didn’t want to show it either, so I tried hard to hide it in a corner of my heart, and as I hid it, one day my heart couldn’t stand it. “That was it.”

Nod your head slightly and speak one sentence at a time.

“Deteriorating health. That’s true, but it felt strange. “The only time she was sick in her life was when she was sick with the flu.”

The smile on her face fades. But soon, the two were able to make eye contact with a crude smile.

“Yumin helped me a lot.”

Because I thought of you.

“There were many people around me who helped me, but the biggest reason why I was able to stand on stage again and meet my fans with a smile was because Yumin was by her side.”

“”… ….””

“As you know, the CSAT is on the third Thursday of November, right? But I collapsed on October 19th to be exact. There was about a month left before the college entrance exam, and he came every day while I was in the hospital. “It’s even an hour round trip.”

I still remember it.

The expression on your face when you smiled calmly while looking at me who had collapsed.

“It’s ridiculous. For the sake of the college entrance exam, guns are not fired in the military, and planes are not allowed to fly at the airport. Plus, he was a student applying to Seoul National University. “Really, really, it doesn’t make sense to come visit that hospital.”

“”… ….””

“But since people are in the hospital because they are having a hard time mentally, their mindset has changed to say that things will happen as they happen. Although I felt sorry, I was strangely annoyed that he came back every time. Please leave me alone. Even if you don’t do this, I can get through it just fine. “I was angry, shouting and swearing, but Yumin said just one thing.”

———Eyes.

“The eyes… ?”

“I still don’t know, but they say my eyes tremble every time I lie. So, I spoke briefly. “Pretend to be strong and don’t lie.”

I try to hold back my emotions and put a smile on my face.

…… Ha, indeed. I smiled, but what was this? I guess I’ll have to return the Rookie of the Year award I received at Baeksang.

I tried to put on a bright, clean smile, but what appeared on my lips was a smile full of loneliness.

“You may have noticed to some extent, but I like Yumin.”

“”———.””

“As you can see, Yumin also likes me. But no matter how much I try, he won’t accept it, this heartless bastard.”

I spoke in a deliberately grumpy tone while smiling.

“…… Chae, Chaewon?”

“… ….”

I expected it, but as expected, it was a very awkward reaction.

In fact, he suddenly confessed to having panic disorder, which was never mentioned in the article, and he also revealed his love life. It’s also a song about being an idol.

Even though I thought about it, I burst out laughing late at the ridiculous flow of the conversation.

“That’s why the ambiguous atmosphere keeps appearing. Since I was devastated at that time, Yumin was also in great shock. She’s probably still blaming herself. Chaewon was hurt because I didn’t notice. So, a guy like me has no right to love anyone. “Maybe something like this.”

” … “Is that what those eyes meant?”

“As expected, the producer and writer must have known. Yes. So, I am in love Hong Gil-dong style. “I love you, but I can’t even say I love you, such a ridiculous love.”

I shrugged my shoulders, lifted the cup with both hands, and took a sip of the coffee.

When I tried to get to the point, I couldn’t get my mouth off it easily, so I ended up eating another cream puff that I bought as a gift……

In the end, we have to face it.

“I apologize again for causing great inconvenience to you two.”

I lower my head once again and open my mouth.

“… It’s a nuisance. “Who could hear something like this and say it’s a nuisance?”

“Yoona’s PD is right. “In fact, we are grateful that you told us something that is difficult to talk about.”

“Still, I’m sure I’m worried because of this. I heard that the producer didn’t come home from work for quite a while because this matter was causing him trouble….”

“… Ah, about that.”

“Look. “Is overtime this bad?”

The producer purses his lips and looks embarrassed, and the writer shakes his head with a cynical smile.

I slowly listen to the two people’s feelings and bring up the story I’ve been thinking about.

“Actually, what I really wanted to tell you was that I wanted to change the direction of this content, so I came to see you. “Even though I know it would be extremely rude for me, who is not even the director, to argue.”

“It’s rude. “Tell me that any writer or producer in the world thinks it’s disrespectful for a cast member to think this much about the program.”

“That’s right. I was rather surprised to see that he apologized so politely. “This is almost my first time as a PD.”

“… “There is no shame.”

“Oh, no?! I’m not doing this to discourage you… !!”

“Anyway! “No matter what Chaewon says, please feel free to talk about it because we know that you think about the program as much as we do.”

Producer and writer who actively react and appeal.

My heart sank as I could clearly feel that the action came from a sincere heart without any lies.

I’m working with people I’m really thankful for.

With the thought of never giving up that feeling, I parted my lips with a determined expression.

“Starting with the story of panic disorder, I hope Yumin and I can show without hesitation how we feel about each other. “Not a single thing, without hiding anything.”

Maybe. No, you definitely make a choice that will change your life.

“First of all, I came to get permission from the two directors. Of course, I will tell the same story not only to you two, but to everyone who needs permission. And if even one of them doesn’t accept it, I’ll take responsibility for this program———.”

“You don’t have to be so stiff, Chaewon.”

“… ….”

“We are in the same boat.”

Producer carefully patting my back.

The stiff expression on my face relaxes due to the unexpected warmth.

“On the contrary, I think it will be a grateful and fun opportunity for the director.”

“…… Writer.”

“It’s me who is thankful. So don’t feel so burdened.”

The author nods his head with a warm smile.

I looked at the two people’s faces in turn with a blank expression, and as soon as my eyes turned red, the PD quickly brought me a tissue and smiled.

“So. Who are you trying to get permission from next time? “The scale has grown so much that it won’t be just one or two people.”

“… “If that’s the case, I’ll call you right now.”

I made a phone call while absorbing the tears forming around my eyes with a tissue.

The two people looked at me with puzzled expressions at my sudden action of making a phone call……

“Uh, Chaewon~.”

“Ah, hello, PD.”

“… “Wait a minute, this voice can’t be.”

Producer’s expression slowly begins to change at the sound of a short voice.

Of course, the person calling now is someone that anyone who attends JP would never know.

“Producer, I want to go public with my relationship.”

JP’s founder and CEO, PD Ki Jeong-pyo, who I’m familiar with as a producer.

“… Chaewon? What does that mean? “I heard wrong, right?”

In an instant, the PD’s voice changed to a desperate tone.