Idol’s Childhood Friend

38 – Will I be able to push you away if I push you away?

“The fever has gone down a lot now.”

“You should have gone to the hospital sooner. It’s so easy to solve———.”

“Minah, I’m jelly.”

“… Hey, I said I would take care of you, did you say I would be your servant?”

The more I think about it, the more shameless it seems.

Put the thermometer back in place and bring the jelly.

Still, I didn’t want to give it to him willingly, so I turned my head and looked at him with a disgruntled expression, and he gave me a confused look as if I didn’t understand.

“… “Isn’t that what it was?”

Wow, even though I know it’s an act, I still get the title.

“Hand.”

“Hands?”

“Stop pampering me, huh?”

Gently place the jelly on the outstretched hand. You frowned at this and made an expression of dissatisfaction, but how could you resist looking at the jelly on your hand?

He pours it all into his mouth and laughs.

“Oh, is this life? “Child, be happy.”

“When the end of the day is happy, why don’t you go to sleep?”

“Kyaaa~. “What does that mean?”

Ji Ji-bae pushes my shoulder hard and blinks rapidly.

I can’t help but yawn because I heard nonsense. He answers by covering his open mouth with his hand.

“I’m so tired. Are you going to sleep first?”

I got up from the sofa yawning repeatedly, but a hand immediately grabbed my t-shirt.

At the same time, an unspoken war of nerves unfolds.

People who want to sleep and people who don’t.

In the fierce battle of wits, it was Chaewon who spoke first.

“What guardian falls asleep before the patient?”

“Here. And what kind of care should I take when my fever has almost gone down? “What are you, a princess?”

“I am the princess in my family.”

“This is our house?”

“I am treated like a princess at your house too?”

Whenever I come home, Korean beef is always served as a side dish, or they accept any and all foolish people, or they provide convenience by depriving me of my human rights.

…… Since this is a straightforward opinion, I have nothing to say.

“Recognize? “It’s completely acknowledged, right?”

Princess Han Chae-won of the Kang family, who has a triumphant expression and a smile that gradually blooms.

“It’s because I’m really tired. “Honestly, you know today wasn’t easy.”

I was too drained of energy in the morning to fight, and I had to help without even having time to recharge.

If I had to choose the most difficult moment in the second half of this year, I would definitely say today.

If you just throw a pillow on the ground right now, he could fall asleep, and considering that he has to listen to the beat of Jijibae until he is sent home tomorrow……

Ah… , no… !!

“I’m going to bed? “You sleep well too.”

I feel the dark circles pulling my skin, and I gently release my hand holding the t-shirt.

I was about to let go and go to the guest room where the mattress was laid out……

“… “Do you want to see me fall down?”

I don’t even think about putting it down.

“So. “Let’s go to bed, Min.”

“I gave you the room.”

“Yes. “I’m going to go to your room and sleep.”

“Then let go of this hand.”

“Why? “Are you going in with me?”

“…… What?

“Don’t worry. If you fall asleep, I will go to cool off too. Really.”

Are you calling that an explanation?

I was so dumbfounded that I tried to undo the handle without saying a word, and the strength of my grip immediately became stronger.

It seems like we will be able to see how far our hands can move like this, but what does that mean to an economics student?

“Surrender. It hurts. It hurts. “It hurts?”

I relax my hands and raise the white flag.

In the end, from the living room to the guest room, even the moment I lay down, covered with a thin blanket, and closed my eyes, you held my hand and did not let go.

Even when I let him go for a moment, he brought me a thermos and a teacup and held me tight again.

“… “What are you going to do when you see my face?”

In the meantime, I can clearly feel eyes staring at my face without saying a word, so even when I try to fall asleep, I immediately run away.

Is this the ‘let’s just hold hands and sleep’ that we’ve only heard about?

I’m so nervous that I can never sleep while holding hands.

Ha, I mutter while exhaling lightly.

“Are you going to stay like this until I go to bed?”

“Yes.”

“Wouldn’t it be more efficient to go to sleep at a time like this?”

“If you want to live with first-class energy consumption efficiency, you can buy Samsung home appliances next time. “Why do we keep focusing on efficiency since we were born as humans?”

“… Oh. “Is that drip fresh?”

“Thank you.”

When I closed my eyes and laughed, a burst of laughter erupted next to me.

Thanks to this, the drowsiness I had barely felt before went away, but I felt like I was regaining my energy little by little just by lying down, so it wasn’t that bad.

Once again a quiet time passes.

The sound of rain hitting the window and the faint sound of your and my breathing.

You asked if you could play music softly, and when you nodded slightly, soft jazz filled the space.

We stayed like that for a while.

“Can I get in the blanket too?”

You asked in a half-submerged voice.

“… “I’m already halfway there, so something new.”

“Then can I share a pillow?”

“Don’t overthink it here.”

“I won’t, so lend it to me. “It’s annoying to go back and forth.”

“…… “I promised.”

Wow, you let out a small cheer and quickly get inside the blanket.

I pushed the pillow and placed my head on the edge, and you also settled down with your head near the edge of the pillow.

Your arms, hair, breath, the scent of shampoo and flesh that I didn’t pay attention to.

They invade my territory as casually as our joined hands. Claim it as yours.

…… It’s against the law to lie on your side.

For some reason, I close my eyes.

“I wanted to do this with you.”

Suddenly, the sound of the music stopped.

“Do you know that I am very happy right now?”

“… ….”

“It would be absolutely perfect if you looked into my eyes here.”

A voice that whispered.

It was not the temptation of a witch casting a spell. She wasn’t even asking me to look at her.

Appeal. Rather than that, he is a feeble idiot.

The voice, with its sorrowful laughter falling at the end of the sentence, was so fragile that it seemed as if it could spread and disappear at any moment.

But it feels like he is just trying to laugh it off, saying that this is enough for him.

———It is a foul. How on earth can you not make eye contact?

“It’s me.”

I opened my eyes. I turned my head.

More than anything, your beautiful face and eyes were captured in my eyes.

“There was never a time when I didn’t want it.”

He says he loves me.

The deep eyes are telling.

Tell me your story.

A gentle smile awaits.

“If I push you away, will I be able to push you away?”

Intensifying emotions.

It is captured in the voice so as not to miss a single detail.

“At first, I believed I could do it. Because I can’t be loved. Because I couldn’t fill you with my heart. “Because I believed that I was nothing to you.”

What kind of expression am I making right now?

I don’t know. I just look at your faintly smiling expression and feel comforted that it’s okay to reveal my inner feelings.

“I’ll ask you one last question, Chaewon.”

I hope you feel the same way as me.

“What do I mean to you?”

I smiled like that.

+++

Excited. Heart pounding.

That’s why.

“First love.”

I answer while looking into your eyes.

“The person who taught me what love is.”

For some reason, my eyes become red.

“I feel sick without you by my side. “If I don’t tell you my feelings, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, and when I cry, I want you to hug me, not anyone else.”

“… ….”

“I don’t want to leave you as a memory, saying it will be okay as time goes by. “I said I was fond of you, but I don’t want you to fade from my memories.”

Smile to swallow your tears.

You look at me calmly.

“Even if I hate you, I can forgive you, and even if I end up being broken, I want to hold on to you. “I don’t want to see anyone next to you, and I don’t want your happiness unless it’s me.”

Even so, I can’t hate you……

I lower my head and gently bite my lip.

It touches me as I say it.

I understand as I speak.

“It’s my first love. You. “A person who taught me a lot and can never be forgotten.”

I really love you very much.

“I’m sorry. Because I don’t know how to be loved when you love me. Because I still don’t know how to give love. “I’m hurting you like this.”

Tears fell.

He dropped it and smiled gently.

“For Han Chae-won, Kang Yu-min is her first love. And the love that wants to be the end love.”

Speak clearly.

Remember. Don’t forget who you are and what you mean to me.

I talk about one sentence at a time just for that one purpose.

The pillow is getting wet little by little.

It gets wetter than expected.

I was so embarrassed to see myself like this that I couldn’t help but laugh.

“My world won’t end without you, but I definitely want you to be there at the end of my world, Min.”

“… ….”

“I’m sorry, I started crying without realizing it and the pillow got wet…” .”

Get out of your seat and sit down gently.

I should write something else, I was trying to swallow a shy smile and was about to leave in a hurry.

“If you can’t hate even if you hate.”

The joined hands pull me strongly.

You break me down.

“Me too. “My first love is also you.”

You climbed on top of me so that I couldn’t escape.

Even the remaining hands clasp together to narrow the distance.

“If I want you to be by my side the day my world ends.”

I closed my eyes like that.

“Me too. “You are my ultimate love.”

Putting our lips together like that.

“So, I love you, Chaewon.”

After 15 years, we are in love.

Epilogue

“… But you really can’t kiss.”

“… “Is that what you should say in this situation?”

“They say I can’t do what I can’t do, so what should I do?”

“I’m sorry for being single from the start. Ha, but I heard you filmed a kissing scene———.”

“Hey! Is that a kissing scene? “We didn’t even touch our lips?!”

“That’s why you can’t do it either. “Isn’t it completely wrong to blame others for not being able to get along?”

“… ….”

“… ….”

“Hey…. Then you just have to practice. Huh. “Let’s practice.”

“… Anyway, look what I’m revealing. “How on earth have you been holding on for so long?”

“What? “A guy who’s doing it for the first time can move his tongue back and forth so enthusiastically?”

“…… Shut up.”

“… ….”

“… ….”

“Hey.”

“Yes.”

“Let’s do it one more time.”

“… ….”

“Answer.”

“Just do it when you have time like that. What kind of permission are you giving me when I’m not a child?———?!”

“You’re the one who told me not to hold back.”

“I didn’t say that———?!”

“Kang Yu-min, prepare yourself. “I thought you were all asleep.”