If The Villain Catches Me Alive

At the time, Dante, or I, was a second-year research mage at the Tower of Light, a third-rate mage who hadn’t accomplished anything of note.

 

And it was obvious that such a mage would be told this.

 

“……So, why don’t you take on a disciple?”

 

A long, gray-haired, piercingly blue-eyed man in his late 60s. Colton Ford, the Tower of Light master, suggested it to me in a very gentle voice. I didn’t answer. I felt like if I opened my mouth, even slightly, my attitude of ugly inadequacy would spill out.

 

“I’m sure it’s not a bad offer for you, too. Dante.”

 

He added as I was silently stifling my emotions. I had heard of his reputation and character, but it seemed to be all a lie. The suggestion he made to me seemed to capture me and stir me.

 

‘As a researcher with no accomplishments, I wondered what he had to say to me when he called for me… Of course.’

 

It wasn’t unexpected.

 

The Tower of Light is a meritocracy. And since I hadn’t published a single paper since I entered, I had already been sentenced to be scrapped. Maybe I was already thinking about everything I should have done when I got appointed to the New Recruit Development Department.

 

The tower had somehow recycled its defective human resources rather than throwing them away.

 

In a small, shabby room closest to the basement stairs. They called it the ‘Dumping Grounds’, or simply the ‘R&D Department’. A gathering place for underachievers, where you were assigned to train newcomers, a punishment that was practically tantamount to losing your status as a Research Mage.

 

There was a joke among research mages that the moment you took on an apprentice, the label “research” was removed, and your study room was no longer yours. So it was thought among research mages that the moment you took on an apprentice, your career was over. The same was true for me.

 

So, when I heard such an offer…

 

“…Yes, I will do that.”

 

I must have been hasty.

 

***

 

The child in front of me was a boy, he was about 18 years of age.

 

“My name is… Theodore.”

 

He introduced himself as Theodore, and he was escorted to my study, dressed in a tight trainee robe. I could only nod at the sight of him. I didn’t want to spend time with him because I couldn’t afford to. All I could think about was how I had to get some recognition as soon as possible.

 

So I just…

 

‘He’ll figure it out……’

 

With that thought in mind, I left the child unattended. If he doesn’t know anything, he can just come to me to ask, or he can figure it out himself… I threw him a rickety desk and a chair and went about my business.

 

Then one day.

 

“…… here…!”

 

“……?”

 

“I’ve organized… the documents…”

 

One morning at work. As I walked into the study with a small yawn, he handed me a stack of papers. It was quite heavy, and I received it with hesitation. He looked at me like he wanted something, like a compliment… I handed over the papers without thinking about it. Then……

 

‘……this…’

 

This kid was too bright.

 

What he brought me wasn’t a stack of unorganized papers, it was an experiment I’d put on hold because I couldn’t come to any conclusions from my messy research.

 

In a single night, he put them together and came up with a single answer. He reached a level that I could never reach, no matter how hard I tried.

 

As I stood there, looking over all the papers, I felt self-conscious and inadequate, more so than the joy of having achieved a result.

 

‘I’m here dying to reach a place I can’t reach even if I tried…”

 

The jealousy I felt towards the genius, who so effortlessly had the power to do so, ignited the inferiority complex that had been building up in me.

 

That day, I, or rather, Dante, raised his hand to Theodore for the first time.

 

***

 

“ Ah, crap……”

 

When I woke up, a wave of emotion washed over me prior to the mixed memories. A single, incoherent tear slid down my cheek.

 

The light coming in through the window was still pale blue.

 

“It’s still dawn…”

 

I stretched my arms up, then let them fall back down.

 

It’s been five days since I entered this world.

 

Memories of ‘Dante’, mostly trickling in through dreams, had slowly erased the boundaries between me and him. I knew I didn’t do that, of course, but… My chest felt constricted. Like I couldn’t breathe.

 

‘Sungwon, we must always have compassion for one another.’

 

Raised in a church, raised by priests and nuns, I had always been taught that, and the memory of Dante, now ”my”, filled me with self-loathing. For some reason, when I woke up in the middle of the night, the corners of my eyes were always tearing up.

 

The following day, I dreamt for the first time in a long time that I was myself. I was in a familiar place. It was the prayer room I used to come to every weekend.

 

I was alone there. The sunlight shone through the stained glass, and there was silence all around me. As soon as I realized I was alone, the tears I had been holding back burst forth.

 

‘……I’m scared.’

 

The broken words poured out of me like a waterfall. I had never been so desperate in my life, at any moment. I clasped my hands together and prayed very fervently.

 

I know I didn’t do it, but it feels like I did… I feel horrible. Every day, I try to hold it together, and when I go to sleep, it’s another round of hell.

 

‘Then, when I think of him…’

 

I suddenly have the urge to just stop breathing…

 

It wasn’t something I said hoping for an answer. I knew long ago that this was a dream. Also, I was only able to say this because I was sure no one was listening.

 

‘I don’t think I can look at his face anymore, I’m… I…’

 

‘……Sungwon.’

 

……someone was listening to my gibberish confession.

 

I tried to lift my head but was stopped by a hand that rested gently on top of it. He or she, I don’t know which, spoke.

 

‘Save the child… Please.’

 

*** 

 

Within a week, I was back at work. My study at the end of the second floor was no longer uncomfortable.

 

Creak-.

 

The hinges on the old wooden door squeaked and inside sat a slightly recovered boy. He was reading a paper, and when he spotted me, he quickly got up from his seat.

 

‘No! Just keep working.’

 

I’ve been practicing being that nonchalant when I see him… I practiced a lot.

 

But when I turned to face him, tears filled my eyes. Even though his clothes covered them, it was like I could see through them and see his hidden wounds. The child stiffened, more surprised by my tears than I was.

 

“I, I’m sorry. Just a moment….”

 

Do I even deserve to say I’m sorry to this boy, I wonder? Feeling myself about to break down again, I remembered my dream from last night. There was someone saying, “Please,” and it sounded so desperate.

 

Quickly wiping away my tears, I took a deep breath and smiled broadly.

 

“Hi.”

 

I promised myself.

 

I will cherish him.

 

***

 

After that, I lived hard. I had a lot of work to do.

 

After becoming the master of a villain who played a large part in the villain’s unfortunate past, I decided to take responsibility… even if it was something I didn’t do. I decided to take responsibility.

 

‘How much longer do I have before the story begins…’

 

The first thing I did was discard all the materials I had piled up on my desk to show off my research accomplishments. Those weren’t my accomplishments. It was all Theodore’s work.

 

He looked at me a little strangely as he watched me do that. The sight of the stack of papers burning made me feel a little relieved. It was as if the things that had disturbed me for a short time had been reduced to ashes and disappeared.

 

I dusted off my hands, turned around, and extended my hand toward him.

 

“Have you had breakfast? If not, would you like to join me?”

 

Fast forward to a year later.

 

I must nurture him properly, so he doesn’t turn to darkness.

 Edited.