If The Villain Catches Me Alive

 

My voice came out of my mouth in surprise.

 

“…Huh?”

 

“Did you wish you were dead?”

 

“……No.”

 

Never….

 

Even I, a man who was fed up with his hard life, still wished for happiness. I hoped for a better life. Trying to overcome it somehow. Everything was for the sake of staying alive and being happy.

 

I felt a rush of emotions. After a long moment of silence, the child spoke up in a blunt tone.

 

“ ……There. I saw what a crybaby and a coward you are last night.”

 

“……”

 

“Just… Wait.”

 

I let out an odd little chuckle at that. Oh…. Oops. I didn’t mean to laugh at him. I just thought he was cute…… It was also because no one has ever told me to just wait before…

 

Looking at the child like I was looking at a cute nephew, I asked him.

 

“……Who are you? Please tell me. Then I will wait with you.”

 

“…Me?”

 

……I’m.

 

***

 

One day in early summer, I was free of work. There were no papers in front of me, my desk was clean, and the clock was showing three o’clock.

 

On days like this, I  would always observe him, a man who seemed to have done a 180-degree turn all of a sudden.

 

‘He’ll notice I’m staring.’

 

Theodore stared at him with the intention of getting his attention, but surprisingly, he doesn’t notice it.

 

His lips were pressed tightly together in concentration, his chin was cupped in one hand, and his brow was furrowed in a deep frown as if he was faced with a difficult situation. If something is difficult, asking for help is always an option, but for some reason, he had always lived his life as if there was no such thing as asking for help from others. ……It’s the same as it was before.

 

Eventually, after failing to understand the document by simply looking at it, he reached for his quill, his expression cracking slightly as his gaze fell on it. That… That must be some kind of bad ink. You better get a better one.

 

However, that person… Is very sensitive to things like gazes and looks. A long time ago……

 

‘……What are you looking at?’

 

I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard that phrase.

 

At one point, I actually got tired of hearing it. Even in fleeting moments, I’d hear it over and over again. So, it’s… different.

 

Surprisingly, his appearance has changed a lot. It can’t be put into words, but it’s like his lines have become thinner… It’s like he’s become a little soft. If someone were to draw a portrait of this person, they would definitely use thinner lines and warmer colors.

 

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered: why did he change? What happened to him that made him change? I mean, they say people change when they are about to die… No, I don’t think so. ……No.

 

After finding ten similarities and differences, Theodore decided to resolve his dilemma. It felt like the only way to get to the bottom of what was bugging him was to figure out why.

 

From that day on, he started digging into Dante’s background.

 

He knew it was a bad idea, but he didn’t care if he got caught. He thought that if Dante found out and asked him outright if he was digging into his background, he’d be able to easily handle it. Or at least until he figured out that he hadn’t changed.

 

In that case, it would be business as usual for both of them.

 

Theodore began by searching for people who had a lot to do with Dante. However, there were only a few people in the tower that he communicated with. Then, it dawned on him.

 

‘That’s right…. this guy… He didn’t have any friends.’

 

Dante’s circle of friends was very narrow, trying to find someone who knew him both before and after his 180-degree turn…. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack.

 

Then, there was one person who came to his mind, even if he wasn’t the right person to ask.

 

Colton Ford.

 

The current master of the Tower of Light.

 

Theodore stood in front of his office at the highest level of the tower, pondering for a moment. It’s not like this is his first time here, so why does the door look so big?

 

‘……where should I begin?’

 

It looks like my master has been out of sorts, and I’m here to find out why?

 

……It’s a little too direct. It’s also something I shouldn’t say as a disciple. I think I shouldn’t say that.

 

The front door opened first.

 

“Are you planning to spend the night out here?”

 

Colton Ford, the owner of the Tower of Light, opened the door for him.

 

Stepping into his office, Theodore was uncharacteristically cautious, even though this wasn’t the first time he’d seen him. There was a strange sense of intimidation about him that he couldn’t quite put into words.

 

“So.”

 

“……”

 

“Why did you come to see me?”

 

Ford asked, sipping his coffee. His blue eyes were soft but piercing. He felt slowly overwhelmed by the feeling that he was being seen right through him. A cold sweat trickled down his cheeks.

 

Theodore realized then that lying in front of this man would be instantly exposed. But that was for the best. Theodore asked him what he had wanted.

 

“Can a person change?”

 

“People always change.”

 

It was a question with so much meaning, and Colton Ford didn’t even flinch. In fact, the answer came so easily that Theodore felt a sense of relief that the question he had been pondering had been lifted, a question that had been bothering him for days.

 

He asked again, hoping to get a more definitive answer.

 

“……I wasn’t talking about something external.”

 

“I wasn’t talking about that either.”

 

“……”

 

“What doesn’t change is as good as dead, and this, too, is changing all the time.”

 

Colton Ford stroked his index finger across the table next to me as he continued.

 

“In that sense, I’m glad to see you change.”

 

“……”

 

Theodore’s brow furrowed slightly, not understanding the meaning behind it. The man across from him was just sipping his coffee. ……A shriveled old man.

 

Ford set his coffee cup down gently and looked at Theodore.

 

“Well, then… I’ll tell you something I think you’ll be interested in.”

 

“…….”

 

“Do you know why I chose Dante to be your teacher?”

 

Theodore didn’t answer. He didn’t want to be reminded of a not-so-pleasant past, and at the same time, he felt a twinge in his stomach. How could he say that so easily… So many things have happened to him over the years…

 

“I have a duty to protect everyone in the Tower, and that includes your Master.”

 

“……Pro…tect.”

 

“That child is terribly lonely.”

 

The Dante he heard from Ford’s mouth was a very different person from the one Theodore knew. He was small, lonely, and isolated… It wasn’t even funny.

 

“And then I found you.”

 

“……”

 

“I believed that if you were together, you would cancel out each other’s loneliness.”

 

He put us together to do such a ridiculous farce. It was almost laughable. And I couldn’t even say anything back…

 

‘……recently….’

 

I don’t fear going to sleep at night… I don’t fear waking up… I don’t fear what tomorrow brings…

 

A life of simple exercise in the morning, small talk while doing so, conducting research that doesn’t necessarily interest me, and feeling a sense of tranquility in my spare time. This peaceful life, which others would have taken for granted, has become my life…

 

Because he erased the word loneliness from my life.

 

At this change in Theodor’s expression, Ford nodded a couple of times, though he didn’t say anything in response.

 

“Don’t hate him too much. He just wanted to live.”

 

……Why does that make sense.

 

Perhaps it was the anticipation of the future, not the present, I couldn’t tell. I don’t hate him, not now, not ever…

 

“……I don’t hate him.”

 

I don’t hate him now… I just don’t know how to express my feelings, so everything I do comes out bluntly. The change is awkward, but I like it, but I just don’t like to show it.

 

On that day, Theodore felt that a question he’d had for months was answered. He could sense that his expression had relaxed a lot.

 

Just, just like him.