I’m Not a Hero Like You

5. Look. Look at me.(2)

just after the sun has risen.

Because my mother was half-sick, my father returned home belatedly, wondering where he had heard the news.

“Kariel. you really… Did you have to go that far?”

I don’t get the gist of the question.

did you need to do it?

“Or what? Did you want to be beaten by Patina and satisfy her lower desires? beaten like a dog? If you get hit like that, what else are you going to say?”

“There’s no reason for Patina to do that, right? I know that each other’s heads are heated, but no matter how… .”

“Why are you assuming there isn’t? Anybody?”

“You and I know her character better than anyone else, right? Why do you keep turning the situation in a bad direction… .”

“I wonder if it’s okay to be toxic to me.”

“that… Because she has high expectations of you. You’ve been like that since you were little, right?”

“Who told you to wait? What the hell do you believe in?”

The more you talk, the more resentment builds up.

I don’t want to be abusive, but… .

“Anyway, when we fight each other, the heat can rise and it can get worse. Until then, I have no idea what to say. However… Don’t you think it’s a bit excessive to show that scene to at least your mother?”

“Why is that? You said you could get hurt while fighting? So, isn’t that possible because it’s real? I heard you train like a real fight?”

The left hand, which had been split in half, was fine as if nothing had happened.

Also, even the broken and crushed right hand is in good condition.

Just by using her hands a few times, her left and right hands, which would not have been strange even if they were crippled, returned to normal like a lie.

“No matter what, you use such extreme measures in mock sparring? This is obviously because you believed in your mother’s ability, but… No matter how much you don’t like it, even ruining your own body-“

“What… Say?”

As if to cut off her words, Kariel chewed her lips and stabbed her.

However, Rueld continued his opinion without wavering.

“Because you can recover at any time. I thought that if I showed it to Ermina, it would be fixed without incident. So I must have done something reckless like that. Rather than saying a hundred words to Ermina, who always hates her, it would be much better to show her like that. If you were smart, you would have calculated and acted like that. Am I wrong?”

“What nonsense… !”

no.

no.

okay… Maybe there was no such feeling.

no, that would be correct

But, did you think rationally?

Not at all.

But, the result is like this, and if you want to accept it that way, so what?

As a result, he was right.

Just by seeing those distorted expressions and those terribly collapsing faces.

… Certainly, it had meaning.

“What kind of a terrible idea was that? If I had made a mistake and Ermina had been shocked and had an accident… .”

There, for a moment, the father, who was speechless, sighed greatly.

“… Kariel. Don’t do that again.”

“… … .”

“And explain the situation to Mother and Patina and apologize.”

… … ?

apologize?

“Why me?”

“… … What?”

As if I heard something I couldn’t hear.

His golden-tinted eyes are momentarily contorted with bewilderment.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Are you saying that right now?”

“What excuse did Patina make?”

“… … .”

Rueld, who was somber, replied while suppressing his frustrated expression as much as possible.

“They said that it was absolutely their fault, that they had done something stupid, that they had no face, and that they would even give up their knighthood.”

“Then it must be so.”

“… … Kariel.”

did you say there?

For an instant, worries and concerns about Patina welled up, but Kariel ignored them with a sigh.

whatever.

Aren’t you self-employed anyway?

in the first place.

Why am I a victim… Should I be guilt-ridden?

why always

… Should I worry about the wounds of others and feel sorry for them?

am i a victim?

did i get hurt?

– Yeah, is it because you’ve fallen for meekness? Being nice is good, but… A good heart is a very good loophole to be exploited. It’s not that you’re bad. Bastards who use that as a weakness are mean.

From one side came a snort and a grinning voice.

The demon king, who was sprawled out on the sofa, talked to himself as if he were reading Kariel’s thoughts, or as if he was scratching them.

and.

The things she talked about for a hundred days.

That sound was a one-sided echo directed exclusively at Kariel herself.

Rueld said with a sunken face.

“… It looks like your head hasn’t cooled down yet either. This story… Let’s cool down a bit and then we’ll share again.”

Then, Rueld was about to leave for Kariel’s visit.

“Today I will stay in my room. Wandering around in that state is dangerous, so I can’t wait to see it. I’m not asking you to be self-reliant, so I want you to calm down and look back at least once to see what went wrong and why this happened.”

“… … .”

Even if you don’t say anything, I thought you were going to stay silent, didn’t you?

Even though he did not respond, it was as if he tacitly agreed and confirmed it.

Kariel and Rueld too.

In the end, no answer or reply about it.

The visit is closed.

“under.”

Relief and regret rushed in at once.

I still couldn’t tell which emotion had the upper hand.

The confusion that filled my head intensified, and the guilt that filled my chest grew thicker, making breathing difficult.

why… Am I guilty and should I suffer from guilt?

It would have been better if I had felt relieved.

no i did feel it

It was only for a moment, actually.

but now?

why… Are you annoyed and uncomfortable like you did something wrong?

-Did I tell you? It’s because I’m being nice. He said it was because he was altruistic, so he thought of the damage I had done rather than insulting him. It’s not a difficult story, is it?

The demon king snorted as if he were giggling.

The shape of a pretty girl, but like a devil over her face,

On her face turned upside down as she lay down, a truly disgusting sneer was drawn.

From the image dotted with malice, cold and subtle emotions bloom.

-You’re a general. Honor is the second treasure of the soul, regardless of man or woman.

So, the people who try to steal my wallet are stealing garbage.

Even if it is, not at all! It’s as if it has no meaning! Haha!

Suddenly, in an exaggerated tone, Kariel, who had been engrossed in taking deep breaths, asked back.

“What else is that?”

– I can’t help but forget about it. What is past is clearly past.

The past is long past and cannot be held back, and the future has not yet arrived, so do not be afraid and do not be anxious. So, all we have left is the old-fashioned present.

“… … .”

– You weak one! Your name is Kariel! Kkeuk!

The Demon King jumped up from the sofa.

– Put your emotions aside. If it’s hard to handle it, if it’s not forgotten, put your eyes on it.

“… … .”

– The moon has set. From now on, isn’t it the time of the sun?

After saying that, the demon king giggled as if he had said something funny and disappeared through the wall of the building.

“ha.”

That irresponsible person… No, it’s like a demon.

I can’t fall asleep in the middle of this.

Even so.

what to do, what to do

One thing, I couldn’t think of anything right.

Now I just get sick.

As usual.

Looking forward to this moment, just passing by like a fleeting moment.

—-

Go over the wall and cross over.

The place where the demon king arrived was with the two who helped him kill himself.

The woman who had hit Kariel and half in a frenzy yesterday was continuing the conversation with a complicated face.

To be precise, it was a situation where Rueld asked Patina to confirm the situation and listened to it in order to check the situation once again.

And Saint Ermina.

Holding both hands in front of the chest, with both eyes closed.

The look of memorizing prayers over and over again felt like that of a sinner who atones and repents.

And, while seeing this, Rueld, who could not bear to appeal, watched this sadly.

What does it mean to listen to Patina’s words again?

The way the hero soothed and cared for his wife and subordinates was quite pitiful.

‘It’s still the same.’

Doesn’t collapse.

Doesn’t break.

Even if they are defeated, let alone die, they are not even broken.

There were many warriors besides Rueld, and many were called heroes.

As the golden demon king’s antagonist, I felt that this bastard really had no answer.

Because it was the only thing in the world.

‘The one that bends easily but never breaks… A damned will.’

I mean nine heroes.

In the past, there were more people than that, but those who were ultimately called the Nine Heroes were in a psychological state that was not strange even if they collapsed at any time as time passed and flowed and they were mentally driven.

But, for some reason, instead of self-destruction, it only became stronger.

‘But.’

Looks like the aftermath is still there.

Saint Ermina.

A puppet who was naive and pure, but was obsessed with by the church, and self-subjection did not exist in the early days.

As time passed, the girl despaired of not being able to properly fulfill her role as a savior.

… Even after becoming a mother, she was still steeped in victim mentality, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts.

If you think about it, it would be right to see it as post-traumatic stress disorder.

“Confucius said in a way that he did not expect anything from himself! It’s extreme, but you’ve got me in trouble in the end! I saw that! How can I tell you not to expect… .”

“Party. So what do you want to say?”

“Because of some circumstances, you are hiding your skills and intentionally pretending to be a loser! Confucius is working hard in his own way.”

“Party. I want you to calm down and get to the point.”

At that time, a subdued monologue was heard from one side.

“Is it my fault? If only I had saved more people… Is it because I’m not good enough that the child is so crooked? I have to atone, but why did you make that child crooked like that? Heavenly Father, I just don’t know. If it’s my fault, you’d rather kill me and take me… .”

“… Ermina.”

“Oh, madam! Don’t think so! If you do that, what will become of Rueld-sama and me who have been saved by you? please… Such a sad word… .”

The demon king laughed.

There’s no such thing as an open plate.

Despite the pleas of the two, Ermina’s eyes remained open as if she had died.

“It’s not strange… isn’t it? Even when my child was young… It wasn’t crooked and out of place like this, Rueld. party or That child was the blessing of the world. Also, how much effort did we put into making that child grow upright? Even when I personally went back and forth to each country as a hostage for Her Highness and the country… Even there, the child… The child… !”

“… … .”

Rueld was silent.

This is a very appropriate treatment.

The answer is to keep your mouth shut and listen quietly.

“Is that incident five years ago a problem?”

popped out of there.

Because of Patina’s point.

“that… .”

Rueld’s expression distorted.

Ermina also opened her mouth, but nothing came out of her mouth.

‘Five years ago.’

A story that the demon king does not know.

But I guess.

Like the hints that Kariel spilled little by little.

Combining the other hints around him, it is possible to make a rough analogy.

However.

There is a bit of a gap between this expectation psychology for Kariel, underestimation and overestimation of him.

In addition.

Even this is not clearly understood.

If it’s not clear, you’re not getting it right.

‘It’s not the duty of a wise savvy to guess roughly in the realm of clumsy hypotheses.’

Even if that hypothesis guarantees 99% accuracy, even if it is 9 out of 9.

Absence of 1% means inaccuracy.

Even a lack of 0.1% means complete imperfection.

“We have always seen examples of second-generation people who are ignorant and foolish, destroying family power, selling out the country, and undermining the great achievements and reputation of their ancestors… Rueld.”

“… … .”

At Ermina’s words, Rueld only nodded.

“At a time of turmoil, as the world plunges into catastrophe, the villains and idiots use it as an opportunity to focus on indulging in their own pleasure. Like those who did not protect the weak, let alone the will and cause of their ancestors, and even neglected, betrayed, and turned away from the will of God… I mean, we couldn’t let our Kariel grow up like that. never… .”

‘Hmm.’

Ever since he invaded Middle-earth, countless people have betrayed their nations and tribes with pride.

That’s also true, if the trend is turning and you don’t want to die like a dog, it’s normal to kneel down on your own.

Compared to other demon kings, he treated his enemies in a relatively gentle manner.

Because if you surrendered, I thoroughly respected you.

Conversely, if you do not surrender or surrender.

… Even though not a single piece of vegetation was burned and the slaughter was abandoned.

After all, isn’t that what war is all about?

furthermore.

The demons had enough justification, reasons, and justifications to hate the creatures that walked in the middle world.

Just because she was in control, it wasn’t something she could completely control.

‘That’s my situation, so it doesn’t matter now.’

“Confucius is wandering around for a while. The wounds haven’t all been washed yet… .”

“Party.”

It was clear that she wasn’t normal, just from that gaze that was full of enthusiasm, but swaying precariously, and from the color of her complexion.

Could the young woman have been as traumatized as Ermina?

“Why are you so disappointing, you said you said that?”

in it

Rueld is the opinion of the two of you, put your thoughts down for a while.

Thoroughly, I focused on what Kariel had said.

“I can’t say it wasn’t a burden, but it was more than that.”

“Rueld?”

“… Captain?”

“perhaps.”

He seemed tired, but he quickly put on an anxious expression.

“Maybe I should have paid more attention to him.”

said so

Then Ermina, with shaky eyes, asked if she had missed something.

“Attention… do you mean Enough for now… too much… Are you giving it?”

Oh oh?

In response, the demon king let out a sound that he did not know whether it was a sigh or a laugh.

Rueld unexpectedly arrived at the correct answer.

However, whether the correct answer is a supreme mistake that will lead to an incorrect answer.

Or really, it comes down to a straightforward answer.

The Demon King began to be a little curious about that.

anyway

‘The water couldn’t spill, it all dried up… How were you going to undo this?’

In addition.

That saintess, still unaware of the situation, misunderstood that she was doing her best.

Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant and I’m in a state of psychological anxiety and nervousness.

But looking at Kariel’s condition, it doesn’t seem like that.

Strict and affectionate.

Interested, but what the nature of that interest is.

She, surprisingly, seemed unaware of this.

no, not exactly.

‘Because he’s his own child.’

The golden demon king knew better than anyone how the saintess treated foreigners.

I actually used it to drive a dagger through her heart.

taking advantage of the disadvantaged.

taking advantage of the poor

To plant betrayal, guilt, guilt, insecurity and hatred deep inside her.

Because I was fed the bitter taste evenly.

Even so, there was no disappointment, hatred, or resentment.

A woman who embraced everything.

So, isn’t that more funny?

Why don’t you do that to your own children?

‘Take it strictly, so that the guy doesn’t stray, and guide the way…’ What did you think?’

It’s not a false story.

But that’s not the right story.

much less

If they were lacking in that, what if they had a nanny or someone to support them by their side and listened to advice or even received assistance?

‘It’s pitiful.’

It was really, really not a big deal.

Compared to confronting myself, it’s really nothing more than a minor thing.

Things that worked so well in those days, why do they become so complacent when placed in the environment of a family?

‘What… right. I’m a bystander, so it doesn’t matter.’

whether to reach the correct answer.

Reaching the wrong answer and being ruined, broken, and everything that has been accomplished collapses like a handful of sand castles.

As for me, the demon king! Absolutely no way to know!

Let’s not come!