I’m Not a Saint, Not a Priest, Just a Healer

“Don’t dieee—!”
“Stop it.”
The sound of Yona grinding her teeth was unsettling.
The creaking followed by a grating sound was quite chilling, but Alec seemed oblivious to Yona’s state.
Even while walking through the dim corridor, Alec was busy imitating Yona’s voice.
If Eije hadn’t administered healing just before Alec’s last breath, he would have died without a doubt. Now, even after surviving, Alec was preoccupied with teasing Yona.
“Don’t dieee, don’t dieee, Aleeeeec—!”
“I said stop it, you bastard!”

Smack!
Finally, Yona struck the back of Alec’s head hard.
The impact was so strong, clearly different from previous hits, that Alec almost fell over while walking.
“Yona.”
Yona, who had been glaring at Alec as if to kill him and panting heavily, flinched at the sudden voice from behind.
A calm and gentle voice, but for Yona, it was an extremely frightening one.
“You shouldn’t hit your companion like that. How grateful we should be that we’re returning safely without any casualties.”
In the end, it was Eije who saved Alec.
As expected of a priest, or perhaps due to her different experience.
Eije healed Alec’s deep injury with holy power that covered his entire body, and thanks to that, Alec, who had been on the brink of death, was able to miraculously survive.
Because of this, Alec was now using it as an excuse to tease Yona.
“…But teacher, this baldy…”
“Language.”
Yona couldn’t look at Eije properly.
That’s because Eije’s hand was lightly placed on her head.
Fearing another of those terrifying hand squeezes might come, Yona had no choice but to nod.
“Ah, I understand. I won’t do it again.”
“Good, that’s a good girl, Yona. Alec, you shouldn’t do that either. Think how sad Yona would have been if you had died.”
“I-I wouldn’t have been sad!? There are so many replacements if this guy dies… Ow ow ow ow!”
Only after being punished by Eije did Yona finally quiet down.
When they came out of the catacomb after the demon had vanished, it was around dawn, with a faint light brightening the sky.
Although the sun hadn’t risen yet, it was about to.
The demonic energy that had been flowing out of the catacomb had disappeared as if washed away.
All that remained was to explore the third floor of the catacomb and collect the spoils.
But that wasn’t something to do now, and it was also a task for adventurers to do separately later.
The important thing was that they had survived.
The knights couldn’t do it because of their dignity, but the adventurers, who didn’t care about such things, all lay down as soon as they reached the campsite after leaving the catacomb.
The adventurers, now only about ten in number, lay down with their equipment loosened comfortably, taking long breaths.
Out of thirty who had entered the catacomb, only 30% had returned alive.
“Still, we managed to come back alive somehow…”
Yona also exhaled a sigh as she lay stretched out on the dirt ground of the campsite.
Honestly, she really didn’t know how they had survived.
From her perspective, she had just been frantically healing while chasing after Kairoc and Alec, and then suddenly the demon seemed to have disappeared.
‘Come to think of it, is that Rud or whatever really a champion?’
They said that guy had killed the demon, the Dullahan.
Yona hadn’t seen it herself, but everyone, including the knights and priests, said so, so it must be true.
To be capable of such a feat, he must indeed be a champion.
‘A champion, huh…’
She thought they should have made her the champion instead, but she quickly brushed off the idle thought.
It’s already in the past, what’s the use of regretting it now.
Still, with the reward from this job, she’ll have seven gold coins.
She’s earned enough travel expenses to get to the mage community, so that’s the biggest hurdle overcome.
“Once I get the reward for this job, I’ll go straight to the community…”
At Yona’s words, Alec, who had been lying down near her, suddenly sat up.
“Hey, reward! Speaking of reward, I just remembered.”
Then he started kicking Yona’s feet, urging her to get up quickly.
“Ah, why—! Why are you doing this when I’m lying down—!”
As Yona sat up while complaining irritably, Alec grinned and raised both hands, making a lewd gesture by wiggling his fingers.
‘…Ah.’
Seeing that, a thought crossed her mind.
“You definitely said that if we made it out alive, and if I didn’t die, you’d let me knead your breasts freely, right?”
“…Uh, uhh?”
Yona sat back, slowly retreating while sitting.
The sight of Yona retreating slowly while covering her chest with her hands was strangely erotic.
Such words— yes, she had said them.
She had said them, but…
No, it’s embarrassing.
It wasn’t that she had said it thinking Alec would die, but at that time, she had clearly thought, like a man, what’s the big deal about breasts—
“What’s this, are you saying you can’t do it now? You said you’d let me knead them like a man, didn’t you?”
Alec was grinning broadly.
While constantly making kneading gestures with his hands, Alec scooted closer to Yona while sitting.
“…Hmm.”
Yona fell into thought for a moment.
Well, she had made such a promise.
Promises must be kept, and since she made the promise…
Well, what’s the big deal.
I’m a man anyway.
“Alright, here.”
Yona thrust out her chest.

“Uh, r-really?”
Instead, it was Alec who was flustered.
Although he had made the promise, Yona thrusting out her chest so easily was rather surprising.
“Yeah, we promised, right? Promises should be kept. Come on, knead them to your heart’s content. Will you get a chance like this again?”
Alec’s breathing became rough.
His gaze was fixed on Yona’s breasts, unable to move.
Those huge mounds of flesh right in front of him.
Those— how many times had he thought, if only he could have a chance to knead them to his heart’s content, even just once—
How many nights had Alec lost sleep because of those breasts?
Those breasts that had plunged Alec into countless nights of anguish were now so defenselessly exposing themselves.
“Hey, aren’t you going to touch them?”
But unexpectedly, Alec sighed and lowered his hands.
“Save it up, hey.”
“…Save it up?”
“Later, when you feel like it, let me knead them. Not because of a promise or anything.”
“…That day won’t come, you know?”
It definitely won’t come.
Because I’m going to return to being a man.
“Then, you know, that community thing? You said you’re going to get magic treatment there and return to being a man, right? You can let me knead them right before that.”
“W-Well, that’s true. But for that, you’d have to come with me…?”
Alec scratched the back of his head.
It was a habit peculiar to Alec when he felt embarrassed, so Yona watched him closely, wondering what he was going to say.
“…Yeah, let’s go together. You’re just a healer, how can I let you go on such a long journey alone? You need someone to protect you.”
“Uh… yeah, then… let’s do that.”
Yona ended up nodding in agreement without thinking.
Well—
What does it matter.
When we get to the community, there will be plenty of famous mages, so I’m sure I’ll be able to return to being a man there.
Before receiving that treatment, I can let Alec knead them to his heart’s content.
That should be fine, right—
That’s what Yona thought.
*
“Alright, everyone, let’s get organized. Gather round!”
Originally, Kairoc was the lead adventurer, but somehow it had changed to Rud.
No matter what anyone said, Rud was the biggest contributor to this subjugation, and the party members who had returned with Rud —Kalson had died, so he wasn’t there— thought that Rud must really have been a champion.
At Rud’s call to gather, the adventurers one by one got up from their sprawled positions, put on their equipment, and gathered around.
By now, the dawn light had faded, and it was fully morning.
They had rested enough, so it was time to head back.
Brilliant sunlight stretched out from the eastern foothills.
The bright sunlight illuminated the whole world, burning away the lingering darkness.
And at that moment, a brilliant golden pillar of light pierced down from the sky.
“Uh, uhh…?”
The pillar of light struck down near where the priests were gathered.
It was the priests whose expressions changed at the sight of the pillar of light.
Eije was the first to fall to her knees.
Bigrind followed, kneeling down.
The five priests immediately knelt down, and as if it were a trend, the knights and adventurers also started kneeling one by one.
Something extraordinary was happening.
The priests, led by Eije, began to recite prayers while clutching their rosaries.
As the clear voices of prayer echoed, Yona also knelt down and slightly raised her head to look up at the sky.

My children.
The woman with long, elegantly tied-up blonde hair was truly beautiful.
Behind her, a large golden lyre insignia floated, emitting a golden radiance that in itself revealed that this woman was no ordinary person.
“We are in the presence of the Celestial Deity.”
Eije bowed deeply to the woman, her head almost touching the ground.
The Celestial Deity.
The being whose name cannot be uttered, the Celestial Deity.
The Celestial Deity who occasionally reveals herself but does not command her own will.
That Celestial Deity has now descended to this place.

You have done a truly great deed.
“No, we dare not. We, these humble children, living unworthily on this land, are ashamed that those evil seeds were allowed to lurk.”
Not only the priests led by Eije, but also the knights and adventurers were flat on the ground.
It was a well-known rule that one should not carelessly look at the face of the Celestial Deity, and even if it wasn’t a rule, everyone was bowing their heads as if to bury their faces in the ground, feeling that this was the right thing to do for some inexplicable reason.

A calamity is approaching this land once again. I wish to lend you my strength, so I shall appoint my representative to be with you from this place.
At the Celestial Deity’s words, Bigrind’s shoulders trembled.
The meaning of those words, that is—
It means a saint will be born here.
The Celestial Deity scanned the crowd.
Her gaze moved from Yona to Bigrind and then back to Eije.

My complete daughter, Bigrind.
“Yes, Celestial Deity.”

Stand up.
Bigrind slowly raised her prostrated body.
Inside, she was screaming with joy, but she couldn’t show it.

Listen, my children. I hereby appoint my complete daughter, Bigrind, as my representative. All of you, join forces to subdue the approaching calamity on this land and seek your peace.
“We humbly obey.”
“We will certainly do so.”
The voices of Eije and Bigrind overlapped.
It was the moment when, at last, after Saint Sonia, a saint was born in this land.