I’m Not Doing This With A Friend

ꕥ

"Ahh…!"

Hans ripped his hair out as if it was painful just to hear it.

"Oh, and I hope the particular bitten areas are between your lips or the soles of your feet, and fingers."

Those three places were the most likely parts when bitten. Hans, who had been tormented for a long time from what I said, apologised quickly.

"Sorry! On second thought, I think this was a great invention that would never happen again. I was stupid!"

I put my hand over his shoulder and nodded.

"I'm glad you changed your mind even now."

Hans with his mouth open, looking a little exhausted.

"I'm so amazed that you're not in Moto-club, Leen."

"That's a popular club. I heard they go through a strict interview."

"If it's you, you'll be able to get in right away. How about trying it next year?"

"Not really. It looks fun, but our club is much better."

Hans, who was giggling, said that was right, and brought up another topic.

"It's random, but I'm curious about something."

"What is it?"

Hans suddenly approached in front of me, asked "What do I look like?"

"I've never thought about it."

"Then take this opportunity to think about it and tell me."

At those words, my eyes automatically moved to scan Hans' face. His face could be said to be warm from an objective point of view.

However, because the people around me were the same, my standards constantly went up.

In a subjective review it means that he's just average. I looked into the distance and step away quickly towards Professor George's lab.

However, Hans, who quickly caught up, urged me to answer with fervent eyes.

"So, what's the answer?"

I slowed down a bit and shook my head quickly.

"You're neither handsome nor ugly, so let's say you look weird. What do you think?"

"That's an insult, isn't it?"

"Hey, why do you think of me in such a bad way? Besides, why are you asking such a thing all of a sudden?"

When asked why, Hans's face visibly darkened.

"I've talked to Jane several times since she dumped me, and she treats me like an invisible person… I don't think I'm that attractive."

As soon as I heard those words, I remembered what Jane had promised a long time ago.

Jane, who saw my crude crying acting, nailed Hans that she was not interested in him at all and that she would never be.

Being treated as an invisible person, maybe it's because of me…?

Suddenly, I felt a cold sweat dripping down my back.

"Well, don’t worry. You are attractive enough."

"If it's not my appearance, maybe she doesn't like someone younger?"

"I don't think so."

She's older, but I don't think she cares about things like age. Well if you're handsome should I call you brother…?

But I couldn't tell Hans this straightforwardly. There's something I've done, so I'd like to help somehow.

"Well, maybe Jane likes cute things."

Because every time she looks at me, she made a fuss about how cute I was.

When I saw Dobby whimpering, I thought it was cute but I didn't know what to do.

Then, as soon as my words were finished, Hans made a flower petal-like form with his hand and placed it under his chin.

"Ching~"

"Don't act cute because you don't even have a chin."

When I act genuinely disgusted, Hans puffed up his cheeks and placed his hand firmly on his waist.

"Hans' is not acting cute. I'm already cute!"

My eyes and ears were attacked at the same time, and I clenched my fists at him.

"Do your best!"

ꕥ

Kun has been troubled these days.

It was because he thought it was the right thing to visit Leen's club every day.

In fact, I was aware that my method was wrong.

I'm using the excuse of repaying the favour, but how inconsistent my behaviour was…

However, I knew it, but when I came after school, I headed there without realising it.

No one welcomed him, he's not even a member of the club.

Carson often quarrelled with me every moment, and Leen was annoyed. Fjord also seemed reluctant to see me.

It's not that the club room was noisy or annoying, but it feels like there's something else.

This was just my intuition. Anyway, it was clear that no one thought positively of me.

There was no disappointment about it. It was shameless of him to think about that.

In front of the club room where he had just arrived, Kun repeatedly raised and lowered his hand on the doorknob.

He's been doing that repeatedly.

In the end, Kun, who opened the door, found Leen alone in the club room and laughed. It was rare for her to arrive first at the club room.

"What's going on?"

Leen, who was choosing today's blanket, looked back at Kun.

"Isn't that what I should be saying? People will think that you're a member of our club."

"I was wondering why you came so early."

"Caon came unusually early, so I looked late. Besides, it's not something you, a stranger, would say."

Stranger…

It was. Kun himself was a stranger here. Leen only said the right thing, but somehow bitter feelings flooded him like waves.

But soon after, he pulled his lips together and smiled.

"If I officially start next semester, we're no longer strangers?"

"That's true, but…"

Leen glanced at him with eyes like, ‘Do you think you'll be able to enter?'

Well, there's no way that Carson would let him join the club. It was just a wish.

Again today, Leen, who chose a pink blanket, naturally headed to the sofa.

She seems to think that she covers the blankets evenly, but if he looks closely, he could see that she uses that blanket very often.

‘Why does it have to be pink?'

The dark blue blanket next to it was much better…

Kun took a deep breath in surprise.

I didn't understand why I was thinking that way. I was confused as if I had lost my destination.

"Kun, do you feel sick?"

Leen, who was suspicious of Kun's abnormal behaviour, approached him.

"No, I'm fine."

His appearance of shaking his head to both sides in surprise only raised doubts.

"I don't think you're fine."

In the end, Leen, who was close enough to touch him just by reaching out, stared at him. Kun, who met those black eyes, trembled slightly.

If we kept making eye contact like this, it felt like we're going to see through something that we shouldn't have.

Kun himself didn't know what it was, fortunate or sorrowful.

Leen slowly raised her hand. Looking at her slow-moving hand, Kun closed his eyes without realising it.

It was for a short moment, but Kun had a frightening time. Perhaps because she was dealing with herbs, she had a faint earthy scent.

It was Kun's favourite scent.

After touching his forehead, Leen's head tilted as she spoke.

"I think you have a fever."

The forehead that Leen touched was hot as if on fire. As he lifted his closed eyelids, Leen's face, which approached closer, filled his view.

I could clearly feel my heart beating strangely.

‘…Is this an arrhythmia?'

No. This was a symptom that sometimes appeared when thinking about or looking at Leen.

‘Was it because I was also moved by the kindness of my saviour?'

Kun tried to hide his confusion and stared at Leen.

Leen's eyebrows, who already moved away from Kun, twitched.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

It was difficult to even utter a single word because Kun's heart was aching more and more. But, wondering if Leen would be suspicious, he muttered out.

"No, nothing… it's nothing."

Leen, noticing that Kun was breathing heavily, frowned.

"Kun. Let me remind you again, I'm not a doctor. Don't just trust me and stay here, and if you're sick, go to the nurse's office."

It was a blunt-looking tone, but it was easy to see that it contained concerns about him.

"Are you worried?"

"…I don't want to clean up everytime. In addition, I hate being unfairly accused of murdering a member of the royal family."

Laying on the sofa, Leen pulled the blanket up to the tip of her head, unlike usual. She seemed to want to hide something awkward.

A small but resolute voice leaked from the blanket.

"Don't stay here today and go to the nurse's office. I'll forcefully kick you out when other kids come, so don't even think about holding out."

Strangely, each of those words sounded sweet as if they had been pickled in honey.

Yes. Although I was confused, it certainly wasn't a bad feeling.

"Yes. I'll do as Leen says."

Because of this, Kun decided to withhold finding out what this feeling was.

ꕥ

"Sigh…"

Leen sighed and shook her head.

"Why? What's wrong, Leen?"

She put down the letter she was reading in response to Jane's worried question.

"My aunt wants to see me, but I was wondering whether to go or not."

"Aha! It's a letter from your aunt."

"Yes."

Jane tilted her head as if her question had not yet been resolved.

"Didn't you not go during summer vacation? It'll be almost a year even if you went this time, show them your face. They must be worried."

"No, what…"

There was nothing to refute.

Actually, I also wanted to see my aunt. And throughout all four years at the academy, I thought I couldn't help but listen to the Count.

However, when I went to meet the Count, I was afraid to face someone I wanted to avoid so much.

"Sometimes it takes a lot of time to travel, and we exchange greetings through letters, so I don’t think I have to…?"

I secretly made excuses in hopes that Jane would stop me. But she, who didn't even know my situation, said the right things.

"Leen. I hope it's not because you're lazy. Even if it takes time, you have to see your relatives."

"…It's not because it's bothersome."

"Winter vacation is longer, so you'll have plenty of time to study herbs."

"That's right…"

Jane squinted as if she saw the corners of my drooping eyes.

"You don't want to meet your aunt? Is she being mean to you..?"

"As I said before, my aunt is not like that. Besides, she said she wants to see me, but she didn't force me."

"Really?"

Jane still couldn't erase her dubious gaze.

I couldn't stand the burdensome gaze and got up from my seat and wore my coat.

"Leen?"

"Come to think of it, Professor George told me to see him, but I forgot. He's probably still in the lab, right?

When I changed the subject, Jane smiled and accepted it as if it couldn't be helped.

"He's pretty much living in the lab, so I'm sure. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. It may take a long time, so I will go there alone."

I got up, and told Jane who's trying to put on her uniform and left the dorm.

As the semester ends in a few days and winter vacation begins, it was quite chilly. 

Still, the cold wind seemed to clear up my thoughts to some extent.

If I went to Count Armeria, I'd have no choice but to run into him.

Erhan. And…

With my heart beating faster, I stopped walking and took a few deep breaths. It felt like I had to wake myself somehow.

Yes. That's why I ran to the academy, and I can't go back on my own feet.

‘You can't be weak, Leen.'