chapter 41
EP.41 EP3. ant
It’s been a frozen day since I’ve been around the city.
Suddenly, the sky was filled with the light of the setting sun, and the bustling downtown began to change more and more noisy with people preparing for late-night entertainment.
“The day went by quickly.”
“Yeah, it was a really short day.”
A boss holding my hand firmly while walking on the street.
Similarly, the rabbit doll I held in the opposite hand was drawn by me from a doll drawing I had seen while walking down the street.
At first, the boss offered to pick me up, but it didn’t go as well as I thought.
“It’s a no-brainer. I was supposed to spend time for you today, but I’m so immature in this body that I’m getting a present from you…”
“You don’t have to worry about it. Rather, I just want to thank you for being with us today.”
Yeah, wasn’t it just picking dolls that you enjoyed today?
Whether it’s going to a cafe for a drink, stepping into a street food alley famous on social media, or going to a movie theater where a new movie is being released… … .
I was able to enjoy things I couldn’t enjoy because I was busy with work for the past 3 years, but today, thanks to the consideration of the boss, I was able to enjoy it to the fullest.
Even if you don’t know your hobbies, your initial goal of ‘cultural experience’ has been successfully achieved.
“That’s a wolf.”
Feeling proud of that, while I was walking along the river on the way home, the boss pointed out a certain place and spoke to me.
a wolf
Why did the wolf appear in the middle of the big city by the river?
-hem! hem!
i did something else
“… It’s not a wolf, it’s a dog.”
That’s right, come on, you’re good… … .
The dog runs to the owner who says that from the other side and kicks his tongue.
After that, the appearance of them rolling around in front of the owners and making aegyo was enough to make my heart warm just by looking at them.
“Okay, is it a creature different from a wolf?”
But didn’t the boss see such cuteness in his eyes?
Rather, the boss observes the puppy with his eyes narrowed as if trying to recognize the difference with the wolf.
“Are you interested in pets?”
Feeling that interest was unexpectedly long, I asked the boss just in case.
The boss is still watching the dog closely.
The mouth opened when the gaze turned from the puppy to the owner.
“If anyone is interested, it will be something hanging from that child’s neck.”
“… … yes?”
it’s hanging around your neck
you mean that collar?
“I wonder if it would be better to tie a string to prevent the same thing as before… … .”
“……”
“It’s a joke.”
“Ah yes. hahahaha… … .”
Oh yeah. That’s a joke.
He slightly loosened his tie, which seemed to be tightening slightly, and even walked down the street.
In the meantime, the boss’s gaze was still on the place where the dogs were gathered.
“Still, you look happy.”
A scene where the number of people walking along the river is gradually increasing.
A faint smile began to appear on the boss’s lips when he saw the pets they had brought.
“These children must have lived with a lot of love.”
“Yeah, what. That’s what pets are all about.”
“But it is a strange thing. For humans, being restrained by the neck is painful in itself.”
“…….”
“… No, if you think about it for a bit, humans are no different from them.”
I glanced back at the boss who was still talking.
A boss who focuses on the puppies’ play. But it was more of an observation than an appreciation.
Seeing the sights engraved in their own eyes, for what reason and by what principle they came to their present form.
“Freedom to be born
Those who have enjoyed it will think that freedom is everything in life, but to the beings born within us, the world within us is everything. rather which
If the fence collapses in an instant, you may feel the shock as if the world has collapsed in itself.”
It can’t be said to be very wrong… No, it was rather close to the correct answer.
In fact, even when slavery existed in the distant past, was it not the slaves who opposed the abolition of slavery?
For those who have grown up in an environment in which they have been restrained all the time, rather than having to live on their own without any orders or guarantees, it would be terrifying to fear.
“Yeah, maybe the happiness that humans speak of comes from ignorance. If I think that the world I know has limits, it means that I can avoid threats to my life.”
“… … Yes, I guess.”
I sincerely affirmed the boss’s words.
Look at this street now. Aren’t they looking so happy because they believe this place is safe?
Hero Land, Heroine Contest, etc.
Although public sentiment seems to be shaken by a large-scale terrorist incident in a place everyone is paying attention to, they do not feel hesitant to walk the streets as if believing that their daily lives will last forever.
They don’t even realize how much information is controlled in their lives.
Without knowing what was going on out of their eyes and how the aftermath would spread.
…very abominable to those who know the truth.
“If you want to say something, you can do it.”
As I pondered over such disgust, the boss who was walking side by side suddenly spoke to me.
“There is no eye to see here.”
Somewhere along the lake shore where the sun sets and only the lights of street lamps light up.
Even if you look around, you can’t see the human shadow at all.
“…boss.”
Yes, it doesn’t matter what you say here.
“I’m sorry, but may I ask you one thing?”
“Tell me.”
Boss showing mercy to me as always.
I said to her as I swallowed the saliva in my dry throat.
“To humans…”
today.
The doubts she felt while traversing the daily life she led. Or in a precarious voice what I would call anxiety.
“Aren’t you passionate about humanity?”
But without hesitation, for sure.
“… … Jeong.”
The boss quietly clenched his chin at my words.
Unlike me, there was no sense of seriousness there.
To put it bluntly, it’s the same atmosphere as when I saw the puppies playing before… Yeah, for her, the question now is probably just that.
She is the apostle of perdition. Because it is a cosmic being who descended on this earth to destroy what mankind has accomplished.
How can she feel affection for humanity? Was she just doing what she did?
“Bread. You are…”
Still, in the midst of feeling anxious, the boss who had been thinking about it talked to me about the conclusion.
“Have you ever sympathized with an ant?”
A completely unexpected question.
“… … yes?”
“I asked if you had ever sympathized with a being infinitely small compared to you.”
“…….”
why are you asking that
As he sat blankly, not understanding the meaning, the boss smiled bitterly and looked down at his hand.
“Brad, you
While I was away, I went to a place called school and experienced many things. Unlike just seeing with your own eyes, you interact directly with people, and they
I have come to face everything I’ve been doing with the undistorted truth.”
The tiny fingers characteristic of a child wriggle according to my will.
Very weak and small hands.
It was clearly felt through the hand I was holding.
“In the process, I saw children roaming near an ant nest placed in the corner of the playground.”
But that hand was also a medium to bring out my memories at this moment.
“It was a sight to relentlessly tear apart the ants held in these little hands.”
“…….”
“Yes, from the moment we recognized their existence, it would not be an exaggeration to say that their lives were determined by human hands.”
Not to mention, children are very innocent, so they do not hesitate to do cruel things.
I have no awareness of what harms myself and what responsibility comes with harming someone else.
They will choose to destroy anything they touch if they can.
That is human nature.
“But what about you?”
To be precise, it is the nature of human beings who have not learned anything and cannot draw a line in their actions.
“If you had an ant in my hand, what would you do with that ant right now? Will you tear the ant apart and tell me the story with a smile like those children do?”
“that… … .”
“No, I never will. You already know that the little beings called ants are creatures just like you, and that their lives and social structures are similar to those of humans.”
Even if such knowledge and awareness may not induce sympathy, it will not be enjoyed as purely as in childhood.
As the boss said, by borrowing a human-like environment, seeing a human figure from them, and feeling a kind of rejection similar to that of killing one’s own kind, you might be able to refuse to kill.
Humans sympathize with ants… … .
It was just a joke and couldn’t be accepted.
“But what if a sympathetic being tried to get in the way?”
And the boss did such a story bluntly.
“For example, a house
It breaks down pillars by gnawing it, or it confuses the surroundings by twisting it with food, and furthermore, it secretes pheromones to produce more
If you attract ants… … .That would be very unpleasant. Furthermore, they feel a sense of crisis that they will harm their environment.
will be.”
It makes you take away even the resentment you felt as an adult.
That feeling of sympathy is that it crumbles insignificantly in front of a being of a lower rank than oneself.
“Yeah, the affection you feel for yourself and other beings is just that.”
Not killing is nothing more than ‘compassion derived from leisure’.
For a transcendent being, my worries are to be able to throw away anything really insignificant in the face of a purpose.
“Brad, I understand your concerns. Actually, I am in a state of considerable interest in the existence of humanity.”
realized late.
How insignificant was the question I asked her.
“they have
Even the vision for the future as well as the history and imagination that have existed, the culture that comes from it…
It gave me a different feeling from looking down at the world. okay. I really knew nothing about them, without knowing anything
Lived as evil, reigned as their enemy… … .”
You can have what is right.
You can sympathize with them.
“…but such realization is only a measure of judgment.”
Still, her perspective is that of a transcendent, not a human.
“The species of mankind
Whether to annihilate itself, or to the extent of destroying their civilization, or to annihilate history, by destroying the planet itself, their
Will I erase my existence without a trace? … . To me, the ‘jeong’ you mentioned is nothing more than determining the scale.”
Therefore, even if one can love the existence of humanity, its nature will never lead to infinite mercy.
Yes, so she won’t break her child’s purpose.
If there is such a reason, it would not be conceivable in the category of human beings such as affection.
“But even so… … .”
I was feeling relieved by the boss’s opinion.
I was aware that the fingertips of the boss holding my hand trembled strangely.
“Right now, I am too weak to pursue such a thing.”
“…….”
without words.
I looked back at her walking down the street holding my hand.
At that time, she was out of the light of the street lamp.
That gaze was also far away from me, making it impossible to look at his expression.
“Bread.”
But a voice is heard.
The trembling of the fingertips is clearly felt.
“Are you really okay to serve me like this?”
So I could understand.
Even though he was a transcendent, he was a person who tried to understand humans, and his efforts were also applied to expression and passed down to me today.
Yes, to her, humans are like ants…
If so, what kind of existence will a human being who enters the body of an ant become?
Is that something that you can endure with your bare mind?
“… … It’s slowly becoming Shells Town.”
Just imagining the situation makes me feel distant.
It took my breath away at such a realization, but the boss didn’t care and set foot toward the enemy with me.
“Yeah, let’s go back. We have a lot to prepare for each other tomorrow too… .”
The moment when the trembling of your fingertips subsides and your steps gradually become more confident.
Still, I couldn’t erase my memory.
The trembling I felt when I held her hand.
Only the fact that the cause came from nothing but me.