In One Piece, as Hashirama Senju

[14] F*ck This Kid, For Real!



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Chapter 14: Fuck This Kid, For Real!

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Sitting beside her, this weird teen totally didn't threaten Mikita to call ‘Miss All Sunday’ to tell her that Vivi was captured.

“Um… what about Mr Five? What if she wants to talk to him?”

“Are you so incompetent that she would want to talk to the man of the group?”

“...”

Mikita shut her mouth after that and did as asked– calling Nico Robin and alerting her that they were on the way with Vivi Nefertiti.

– What about her companions? That boy… Hashirama Senju, what about him?

Nico Robin’s voice sounded through the lips of Mikita’s Den Den Mushi. There was a sense of cautiousness in her voice that Mikita missed and Hashirama would have too, if not for the fact that he was paying extra attention. 

Robin had seen him make a helicopter and take off to the sky, of course, she probably thought he was a tricky enemy to fight.

“That… we killed him.” Mikita replied as Hashirama guided her.

– Ah-huh? How did he fight?

“He fought well. That boy was… strange, a fucking bastard, I tell you.”

For a moment, Hashirama narrowed his eyes at Mikita when she clearly cursed him with the excuse of lying to Robin. 

However, before he could give her a warning look, Miss All Sunday replied from the other side.

– Miss Valentine, please keep profanity away from this conversation.

“Ah, yes, right.” Mikita replied.

Mikita replied, though she didn't sound scared. She wasn't intimidated by Miss All Sunday now. That was a bit surprising to Mikita since usually such a remark from the boss-woman sounded scary. However, she recalled a guy more dangerous than Miss All Sunday was sitting right beside her, someone who scared her more than Sunday.

Mikita continued. “Anyway, he really had eaten a wood-related-devil fruit as previously reported by you. That’s why he was quite tricky to kill, but Mr Five got impatient at one point and just blew him up. Couldn’t escape from that.”

There was silence from Miss All Sunday’s side before the reply came swiftly.

– I see.

“There was this imperial knight too. He died in the battle as well.”

– …Alright then, good job. No need to waste any more time, return to Nanohana at once with the Princess.

“Understood.”

The call ended swiftly and Mikita released a deep breath of relief immediately.

She just survived a dangerous situation, she knew that if she had messed up even a little, she would have ended up dead. By both of them, nonetheless. 

If she said anything that Hashirama didn’t like, he may have killed her. And if Miss All Sunday asked for Mr Five and then got suspicious of Mikita when she failed to bring Mr Five here, Miss All Sunday might have sent people to get rid of her.

Meanwhile, the crappy teen sitting beside her looked completely calm.

“See? She didn’t ask to talk with Mr Five since you weren’t wasting any time reporting things.” Hashirama said. “Except for that instance where you just had to curse me smartly. That was dumb.”

“...”

“It’s fine, since nothing bad happened I will let it slide.”

Mikita sighed again.

* * *

“So how do we travel?”

Mikita asked when Hashirama led her outside the wooden house, preparing to leave for Nanohana.

“Back when Mr Five was alive, he shot out blasts from his hands to propel me in the air, and then I caught his hand at the last moment before we went flying together. Are we going to be doing the same?”

Hashirama shook his head at her question.

“That sounds dangerous. Also, I won’t eat Mr Five’s devil fruit so we can’t recreate it anyway.”

“Huh?” Mikita blinked in surprise. “It’s a strong fruit, though? Why not eat it? You are even going to fight Miss All Sunday, you'll need some extra help.”

“We won’t fight.” Hashirama shook his head. “As for the fruit… I have other, more interesting plans for it. As far as I am concerned, I don’t need a devil fruit. Not anytime soon, anyway."

Mikita opened her mouth again but closed it at the last moment. She must be confused as to what he meant by he didn't need a devil fruit, even though he had wood abilities. Hashirama guessed that she thought he already had a Devilfruit and therefore hoped he didn't know about the problem with eating multiple fruits, and then suggested he should eat the Bomb fruit and die.

However, since she went silent Hashirama was grateful that she was smart enough to realise that he won’t explain things to her even if asked.

Hashirama crouched down and placed his hands on the ground and channelled his chakra into it.

He could do this by channelling chakra through his legs to the ground too, but using hands was faster and more efficient. The same applied to when he clasped his hands together to create something. He wasn't really restricted by hand seals– mostly because he didn’t even know any official hand seals– but simple gestures such as this helped quite a bit.

After a bit of concentration, a readied wooden scorpion popped out of the ground, staying unmoving before it suddenly snapped its neck at Mikita. 

"Ah-?!"

The assassin woman, in response, yelped and jumped back.

Hashirama couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“I-it’s not funny! I'm not scared of bugs or anything, but this caught me off guard!”

Hashirama waved it off and gestured to her to hop on the improvised seat on top of the scorpion.

“Ugh… you want me to sit in the front?” asked Mikita, as she pointed to the front seat. 

When Hashirama nodded again, Mikita's eyes trembled.

An idea occurred to her.

“You really want to sit behind a girl, eh?" Mikita looked at him teasingly. "Guess a kid is a kid in the end. This must be your first time sitting behind a beautiful lady such as I, huh?”

Some may say she was being childish, that this wasn't a smart conversation with an enemy. It didn't seem smart either, but Hashirama wasn’t fooled. This was a decent scheme from her point of view.

She was trying to taunt him so that she could kill him.

“Heh, really?” Hashirama grinned. “You think I will be embarrassed and let you sit behind me so that you can comfortably snap my neck? Nice try, but no."

“...I, I wasn’t going to do that.” Mikita quickly replied with her face paling. 

She was scared. She held herself back from gulping, unsure what he would do to her now that he had realised her plan 

“For real, I was just…”

“Moreover,” 

Hashirama interrupted her, suddenly walking over to grab her by the chin and make her look up at him. 

She and Hashirama were almost the same height, with Hashirama having 2-inches over her, yet she looked up at him with her neck straining.

“As I said earlier, I can always just kill you. Then do your corpse. Been a while since I did that anyway, so I am almost looking forward to it. So please don’t tempt me.”

“....”

This time, Mikita couldn’t hold back her gulp.

In the meantime Hashirama, as he looked down at her seriously, could barely hold himself back from cracking his facade and breaking into a laugh.

Hey, she was almost cute.

…However, he wished otherwise, but in truth this prank of his wasn’t entirely a bluff.

‘Go blame my master.

…Really, the things he had done under that old man.

* * *

A few hours later

Despite her fear a while ago, Mikita could barely hold back screaming her lungs out in frustration and anger.

After all the things he said back then…

She looked down at Hashirama’s hand that was wrapping her waist. He was sitting behind her– however, a bit too close for it to be normal. 

Moreover, his hands weren't silent on her waist either, he was feeling her up.

“...Nghn…”

Suppressing her umpteenth moan, Mikita cursed in her head while looking downwards. 

‘Fuck this kid, for real.

* * *

At the same time, Hashirama’s wood clones were busy taking Vivi and Pell back to Alubarna.

Both clones stayed on the highest alert for any new surprise attack, but fortunately, no such attack happened this time.

Before Mikita’s team could reach Nanohana, Vivi’s team had already reached Alubarna.

Hashirama quickly took her to the Castle to give her proper medical attention. 

He lacked a doctor certificate, but he was a decent enough doctor thanks to his sister's teaching– however, he wanted to be fully certain that he hadn't missed any of Vivi's injuries. So he hurried.

Seeing Vivi going through a checkup reminded him of something…

Though he let Mikita live, she needed to suffer. For hurting Vivi.

Not enough to kill her, but enough to make her regret it.

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