In The Depths Of Shame, Love Exists

 “Didn’t she have a scandal with Count Rayleigh?”“She must have chosen Dane after weighing the two. A sane woman would not choose Count Rayleigh. Anton Ragnell is also a truly ungrateful father. No matter how urgent it is, I wouldn’t think of making such a man my daughter’s spouse.”“But I guess that Dane’s distribution is also not as big as I thought. To think the one that he chose is only Ragnell.”“That’s why you can’t fake the environment you’ve lived in. All he can think of is Ragnell. The back alley and Hale are close, so the name Ragnell is probably familiar to the man who lived in the back alley.”“Anyway, aren’t Lady Ragnell’s scars disgusting?”“Such scars may be common in the back alley. A scarred woman and a man of low origin, aren’t they a pair that goes well together?”Liv’s hunch was right. The worries that had kept her tossing and turning for days eventually became reality.Because of her insignificant self, he was treated the same way. It was a situation she had been afraid of all along.‘It’s not too late. Even now, if I cancel the marriage, Dane can marry into a Duke’s family. If that’s the case, he won’t hear that.’Liv took a deep breath.“No. That can’t be done. Then Ragnell……”‘Why am I suddenly doing so much for Ragnell, who means nothing to me? But every time he hears something like that, it hurts me, too. If I let him go, everything will be solved!’“I hate it!”The thought of Dane marrying someone else would break her heart. Rayleigh was right. This was her true heart.Liv eventually buried her face in her hands. As the wall collapsed, emotions flooded in like a tide, creating a deep pool. Falling into it, Liv finally faced the feelings she had been hiding.In the depths of shame that lay within her, love existed for Dane.‘How could I not love him! He was a man I looked up to.’However, compared to him, she was too insignificant to show her love.She could now understand the desire to run away from him whenever she stood in front of him. The more she loved him, the more she felt a terrible sense of self-loathing.The thought of wanting to be held in his arms and eaten as it is, came to mind. It was the sincerity that came out of her weakened heart.‘Now I understand why I wanted to die so much after being caught being treated like nothing more than a tool…… Why was I so entranced when his touch stroked my legs…… I think I know now. I am…… I…….’At first, it was a wound, but it grew and became a longing, and before she knew it, it turned into love.She has long admired and loved him at the same time. ‘The pig bastard is you, not me.’ The mere thought of what he said was painful, and she always followed his existence by rummaging through the newspaper.Liv covered her face with the emotions that burst out even though she tried to stop it. She couldn’t bear it as she had been suppressing it for a long time.“That guy’s not going to stand in our way, is he?”“Wife, do I look like a man to be beaten by such an inferior bastard?”Footsteps can be heard amid the chuckles. Liv immediately recognized who the owner of the footsteps was.Liv lowered the hand that had covered her face and looked at him. Seeing him, who was looking for her from place to place, with his ragged breathing was lovely.Even without Dane’s effort, Liv was already in the palm of his hand.Dane frowned and approached Liv, who was pale and tired.‘Did something happen while I was away? This is why I didn’t want to leave her alone.’“If that bastard stands in my way, I’ll make him cry like a pig. Then wouldn’t he shed tears because he missed the back alley?”Through the wall, he could hear the laughter of a man and a woman. Dane easily recognized that they were talking about him.A woman tormented by his own gossip, pale and tired of it. Dane quickly finished assessing the situation and had to struggle not to reveal his satisfied feelings.‘This situation is always welcome.’Dane felt like giving them a kiss of gratitude for criticizing him.His annoyance subsided and a sense of joy rose. Her pale face, which bothered him, was now pleasing to him.There was a sense of pleasure in his eyes as she looked at him with a mixture of all kinds of emotions. He wanted her to feel more sympathetic and sorry for him than she did now.As Liv stepped closer like a baby who had just taken a step, and hugged him in her arms, a thrill shook his whole body. Dane immediately lifted her face and suppressed the urge to kiss her ravenously, and acted a lie with a pitiful voice.“It’s okay. It means nothing to me.”Using sympathy and pity could easily make a person weak.‘If I dig into that gap, you will never be able to get away from me.’Stupid Dane.He would not have known. That even without playing pitifully, Liv was already in love and ready to throw whatever he wanted.  The crowd disappeared and the chirping of grasshoppers filled the void. The neat sound of the stinging grassworm calmed her overwhelming emotions.Dane asked, gently stroking Liv’s back.“Did anything happen while I was gone?”Liv shook her head without saying a word.“…… I met Carl Rayleigh on the terrace. Did he confuse you again?”Liv shook her head again. Dane pulled Liv out of his arms and scanned her face, so that he wouldn’t miss a single emotion of hers.“But why do you feel so down? If it’s because of what they just said, don’t mind it. I am not swayed by such words.”Liv nodded.She knew better than anyone that he would never be swayed by any words. She was the only one who was weak.A person who is in love is no different than exposing his fragile inner skin, and struggles with pain from even a small wound.‘I’ll be like this forever.’Liv knew that every time she heard Dane’s gossip, she would feel guilty.In the event that he made a mistake and was blocked by his origin, he may regret this day and feel heartbroken. Still, her selfish greed could not let him go.“Dane, are you really satisfied with me? There must be many people who want you more than me, and you can raise your honor by marrying the Duke’s daughter.”“Carl Rayleigh must have said something useless.”As Dane tightened his arms around Liv, she felt herself sink deeper into his arms. She could feel his warmth on her cheeks leaning against his chest.“Forget what he said. My thought of marrying you remains the same.”‘Why? Do you even love me?’The question that tickled her throat dispersed before it could get out. The question was already meaningless.Even if he gave an answer that he was marrying her because he loved her, her heart would not believe him. Even if he was taking advantage of her, Liv couldn’t let him go now. No matter what answer she heard, it would be painful, so she was better off not asking.She would find out what his true feelings were later, so there was no need to be impatient. She just wanted to enjoy the serenity of being in his arms, not knowing anything.It may be a moment that would never come again. Liv closed her eyes, feeling his warmth.“I guess your father doesn’t intend to come.”Liv and Dane boarded the carriage earlier than the others. The magnificent building that could be seen through the window was lit up by an unfinished ball.“Wouldn’t it be late to take me home and then go home? I would rather have called a carriage.”“I’m going to stay in Lesbourne today, so you don’t have to be sorry.”“Weren’t you staying in the capital?”“Since I have to move around busily, I have prepared places to stay in various places. I’ll have to put it on Hale soon. So whenever you miss Hale, you can go and rest there.”Dane seemed to mistakenly believe that Liv loved Hale. Liv did not correct this by saying no this time. She wanted to be seen as an ordinary person who loved her estate just like any other Lord’s children.“There’s the Ragnell mansion, is there really a need for it?”“I want a place where we can be alone. A place where no one can disturb us.”“Ah…….”Just the two of them……. Liv hurriedly lowered her gaze at the embarrassing imagination.“Shall we have the wedding in Hale?”“Not in the capital?”“If you want the capital, we can.”“No, it’s not like that.”Given his fame, she naturally thought he would hold it in the capital. Liv pondered and said she wanted to do it in Hale. In fact, it doesn’t matter either way, but the capital felt uncomfortable because it would attract too much attention.Dean nodded without a sign of concern.“All right. Let’s prepare.”As they talked about this, she realized that she was getting married to this person. The marriage notice, which used to be half-forced, now flows casually.Liv remembered the day she had gone to Lesbourne to buy a book and then returned home in his carriage. At the time, she never dreamed that she would be like this with him.She was still nervous and anxious in front of him, but now that she knew where this feeling was coming from, she wasn’t as overwhelmed as before.‘If I live with him, won’t the day come when I’ll be comfortable with him?’Right now, she couldn’t imagine it.“…….”Liv quickly brushed off Rayleigh’s words that had popped into her mind. There was no need to pay attention to what that angry person said.“It seems like the lady doesn’t like the ball very much.”Hello, everyone~! Eica, here. If you find any mistakes, please do not hesitate to inform me. And, I'm sorry in advance for any mistranslations that might occur.