Is It Over Now?

"Today we are going to be practicing the Patronus Charm!" 

Remus stood with the rest of the Marauders as the small Professor went over the incantation one last time before allowing students to try it. James was smiling like some sort of maniac as he held his wand, eager to be the first in their year to get the charm to work and the wolf couldn't help but smile at the sight, at the innocence of it and the fact that another had already beat the chaser to it.

"So we know that I'm going to get it first," James started, his voice filled with the boyish cockiness that time never did seem to drain from him, not yet at the least, "but what about second?"

"Wormtail probably," Sirius said with a grin similar enough to James's that one truly could mistake the pair for brothers if they wished to. The rat almost seemed to be blushing at the small sign of approval until the eldest Black began to speak once more. "Merlin knows Wormy has had the second easiest life out of the four of us."

"Oi!"

As the three bickered Remus wanted to tell them that it wasn't about how easy your life had been, that half of the time it wasn't even about the pleasant memories that everyone always seemed to be so focused on, but a feeling of warmth. That feeling that makes one human. But the wolf kept his mouth shut as his name wasn't even brought up within the discussion, it hardly was these days and the teen knew that it was his own fault because he had been with the fifth years - with Regulus - and Sirius couldn't stand the supposed slight that this was.

"Wands at the ready," Professor Flitwick instructed from atop his stack of books. Remus raised his own with an intention that he hadn't come into the lesson carrying, but was there now and refused to die as easily as a muggle flame. "Now cast!"

The wolf closed his eyes and thought of summer days in a park, the sun kissing his bare skin as fingers glided across it as if he wasn't something horrid. Lips pressed against his own, and Dora's laugh as their small group ran through the empty castle on a Hogsmead weekend to enact one of her newest spells. Pranks that Remus, Barty and Evan got away with, and sly smiles over breakfast. Dancing in the air with shoes spelled to dull the pain that each step so often brought him these days, Regulus flying alongside him. The taste of a Mandrake leaf in his mouth and their strange groups laughter at its horrid taste.

" Expecto Patronum !" The wolf cried with a surety that none of the others within the room could claim. 

Silver pooled from the boy's wand, as bright as a full moon as it swelled and gathered into a familiar shape that ran around the scarred teen as if searching for another boy to be there.

The Marauders watched as a silver fox, quick and sly, darted around the classroom as the charms Professor exclaimed in a pleased surprise. Three of the Gryffindor boys were surprised by the shape that it had taken, having expected a very different creature to appear, if one at all. But Remus thought that it was still as perfect as the first time that he had seen it.

"It's beautiful," Lily complimented softly as she and Marlene and Mary walked over, wands held loosely in their hands and soft looks on their faces as they watched the spectacle creature.

"It suits you," Marlene decided as she stared at it for a moment longer.

"Yeah, Mr. Marauder," Mary chimed, a mischievous grin on the girl's pleasant features.

The other three boys didn't say anything as their eyes followed the fox until Remus broke the spell and put his wand away, so the wolf didn't say anything either when the other three eventually managed to produce spectral protectors of their own.

He knew that there was a barrier growing between them, something that could be fixed if only someone were to reach out a hand, but at the same time Remus was tired of trying to be someone that he was not. Of trying to pretend that he was as good as the others were, that he wasn't a monster hiding in the body of a man. 

He was tired of pretending now that he knew what it meant to smile with all the sharpness of a wolf and the grace of a fox, as he ran with a black cat through the night as birds flew high above; all of them finally free of the chains that tried to shape them into someone they were not and never would be again.

He was tired of pretending to be good when he knew that he wasn't and now had people that didn't ask him to be.

—-

 Time passed as it always does: much too fast, and all too slow. By the time that March rolled around the rest of the lions had eased around the scarred boy, finally accepting what they should have always known, which was that Remus wasn't one to abandon those that he calls friends - that he calls family if he were to be honest with himself - and that the Marauders would need to adjust.

The wolf wasn't sure if they could, but was woken up on March tenth with three lions jumping on his bed with bright smiles and a chorus of Happy Birthday spilling from each of their lips nonetheless.

"To youuuu!" The three all but screeched with voices not made for singing. 

"Asshats," Remus cursed, but he was smiling despite himself. 

"Our best spell caster is now seventeen," James started conspiratorially as the three peeled themselves off of the bed, dragging the tallest of their lot with them. 

"Just imagine all of the chaos we can now create, Prongsy," Sirius said in that joking voice of his that made teachers immediately hide anything that they wouldn't want used in a prank, something Slughorn had taken much too long to realize.

"Indubitably so, Mr. Padfoot," James agreed with a dramatic bow.

And Remus laughed as he always did at the pair's antics despite himself as Peter grinned at him, because he loved them even as he knew that they loved a softer version of him. 

The four laughed as they walked down to breakfast, all Gryffindor warmth and bravery as they spoke of the party that would be held later, as was almost every year when one of the Marauders birthdays came around. But the smiles of three of them soon shrunk as they approached the Great Hall, while the fourth's only grew.

"We just want to steal Kit over here for a moment," Evan said before the older teens could speak, his hands held up in a mock surrender. "Then you lot can have him for the rest of the day."

Remus raised a brow at the others, but Dora only pointed to where Meadows was standing off to the side, a muggle camera held in the girl's hands, a Polaroid.

"I'll be in there in a minute," the wolf said, already sliding past the rest of the lions to venture towards the snakes. The Marauders watched him go, and knew that this was something that they would have to be okay with now if they wanted to keep the fourth lion.

Dorcas stood in front of the five students that had no right to be around one another as they were if the rest of the world had any say in the matter, and held the camera up to her eye as the five gathered together; Remus in the middle with his arm around Regulus's waist and the other across Pandora's shoulders as Barty and Evan crouched before the three. Five pictures were taken, one for each of them that the snakes, lion, and egal all put into books to be kept safe from prying eyes.

Remus and Regulus watched as the others left, the pair staying behind in the hall off to the side of the entrance. Their hands were laced together and the Gryffindor knew that this was a feeling that he would never get tired of.

"Close your eyes," the snake said softly, lifting Remus's hand as the older teen did so. Something cold was pressed into the lion's hand, metal he realized. 'Open them."

When Remus looked down there was a black ring decorated in gold and false silver in his palm, the piece placed on a long chain that could easily be touched beneath a shirt without being seen. He ran his fingers over the chilled metal for a moment before looking up at the other.

"Is a promise ring," the Slytherin explained, his face was set in an unbothered mask, but Remus could see the red on the tops of the other boy's ears. "It's a pureblood tradition. You don't-" but Regulus stopped speaking as he watched the older wizard slide the chain around his neck, tucking the ring beneath his clothes as if it was something to be handled with care.

"It's perfect," Remus said with a surety that he hardly ever held outside of their strange group before leaning down to kiss the other. It was chaste but spoke of an eternity of time for more. 

Regulus pulls out a ring that matches the one around the lion's neck and Remus slides it onto the teen's pale finger. 

Unbeknownst to the Slytherin, Remus knew then that he would do anything to see all five of them through the war in one piece.

Neither of them could have known that meeting in the library that day would create such a change to what could have been. What was almost prophesied to be.

—-

When Remus was called to Headmaster's office that night and paperwork was laid out on the man's desk - forms that he had been dreading since the moment that the wolf had heard of the registry - the teen refused to sign them, staring at the older man with a defiant gaze. Months spent with the Slytherins was how he knew that though Dumbledore acted displeased by this turn of events, he was the farthest thing from it. Months spent with the snakes was how the teen knew that the old man was playing a game that no one else knew, and that the wolf was one of his chess pieces.

Months spent with the Slytherins was how the wolf knew to pretend that he didn't.

—-

The party that night was as loud and lively as any other house party that the Marauders had thrown when one of their birthdays came around, music playing too loud and alcohol flowing too freely, but like so many times before that year Remus couldn't seem to fall into it all the way that he used to. But for the first time, someone else noticed.

"What?" Sirius asked with a teasing smile as he left some Hufflepuff girl to come and talk to the only lion that looked almost bored in the room. "Are the Ravenclaw parties really more exciting than ours?" 

It wasn't a question that the drunken boy meant to be answered, but a way to goad the other into loosening up. Remus did both.

"No," the wolf admitted with a too sly grin for someone of their house, "but the Slytherin are."

Remus walked away from the other Marauder before he could see the stuffed look on the teen's face, and faded into the crowd, dancing with those that came up to him and not remembering any of their faces as he knew that he was promised to another.

—-

It was two weeks before that came around to bite the wolf in the ass. 

The Gryffindor common room was quiet for once as almost everyone was outside soaking in the warm air before a frenzy settled upon the castle as exams began to loom over the students like some sort of curse, those taking OWLs and NEWTs becoming particularly difficult to be around. Remus could still remember hearing about how Bellatrix had cast a curse to remove all of the tongues from the younger years in the Slytherin common room in the Marauders' first year. Now that he was older he didn't think that it was such an overreaction as he had back then.

He should have known that the quiet wouldn't have been able to last.

The rest of the Marauders bounced into the common room with mischief in their eyes, the three boys heading straight for their fourth with that manic step that they only ever had when one had an absolutely terrible idea and the rest were going along with it as if it wasn't. It always worked out in the end either way, that or they cursed one another in detention.

"We want to go to a Slytherin party!" James exclaimed as Remus closed his book and the three crowded before him.

"Why?" Remus asked slowly as he looked up at the three from the couch, confusion clear in the teen's face.

"C'mon Moony," Sirius whined, "you're the one that said that they were better than ours," the boy reminded him, though Remus thought that there was likely something else to all of this.

In the end Remus agreed to take them, knowing that they wouldn't stop asking or would find a way in on their own if he didn't.

"Alright, your funeral."

—-

The presence of the extra Gryffindors wasn't met with open arms, though Rmeus had known that it would be this way. This was the one house that didn't truly like the Marauders. 

The Black brothers didn't look at one another as the two groups came together and the wolf figured that this was for the best, the pair often tended to be very explosive when around one another and he didn't want the brothers to duel, he didn't think that he would handle it very well seeing the younger Black hurt by the elder.

"Lions among the snakes," Evan scoffed as he looked at the three, ignoring the fact that he'd had one around him for the past year now. "What a rare sight."

"Wonder how long they'll last," Barty whispered just loud enough for their five to hear.

"Manners, boys," Dora chided with a swat of her hand on each of their shoulders. 

"Don't mind them," Remus said, waving the boys off, used to and unbothered by their antics, "they're a bit eccentric."

"Right," Peter said slowly, but even he didn't look convinced.

When the duels come around, Remus doesn't hold back - the wolf doesn't hold back. 

Curses spill from the boy's tongue, ones that they all knew and some that the lion had picked up during his time in the dungeons, each more devastating than the last as he taps into something inside of him that sings with pleasure at it all. The snake crazy enough to challenge the Gryffindor soon loses his wand with a strangled cry, but Remus doesn't stop there - he never does, nor does anyone ever try to make the wolf lest they be next - and runs at the wizard, fist flying and knuckles bruising skin as they split open. 

The teen only stops when the other cries out in defeat, and the Slytherins and Ravencalw that the Gryffindor claims as his come running forward with bright smiles, uncaring of the destruction that the older boy had just caused only a moment before. The rest of the Marauders were slower to approach, hesitance in their every step.

"You're changing," Sirius says so quietly that no one other than the wolf could hear the boy.

"Sorry," Remus replies in a way that showed that he clearly wasn't. "I didn't know that I had to stay the same."

Some brows were raised at the words but it was eventually ignored as Dora dragged the boy away to wrap his hands with the bandages that she always brought. The Marauders watched her go and thought that they were watching a stranger walk beside the younger girl.

A monster in human skin.

—-

Exams came and went and soon June was here and with it came the end of the year Ravenclaw exhibition, not the Gryffindor house knew about it.

When Remus left the dorm well past curfew without a word of explanation and with a bag laden with documents, James and Sirius exchanged a worried, but curious glance and followed the boy under the invisibility cloak and on the map, surprised to see him heading for Ravenclaw tower of all places. 

(Remus knew that they were there, he could smell them from over half way down the hall, but he let the pair follow nonetheless, letting them see what they wished to.)

The riddle was impossibly easy - always was on exhibition days to give pity to those not born with the cleverness that the eagles so easily possessed in waves - and Remus slipped inside without a problem, taking his time to leave the door open for the other two boys to grab as they unknowingly were allowed to follow.

The visible lion smiled as he let himself be lost in the gathered crowd of blue, yellow and green, leaving the other pair clueless as to where he was.

He never did intend to make it easy on them.

"Welcome to the Ravenclaw exhibition," the seventh year Ravenclaw prefect announced with an eager voice. "You all know the categories and how this works, and if you don't then just sit back and enjoy the show. We're going to start with inventions today," he decided. "Lestrange, if you will."

The two hidden lions watched as the blond girl that was so often around Moony these days walked up to a table - the only one within the room - that was left completely bare of papers or books before pulling out parchment to cover it. They were only a little surprised when Remus and Regulus soon appeared at either of her sides. 

The lion emptied his own bag, his back to the other two boys where they couldn't see what he was showing everyone else, but could see the way that the eldest of the trio reached behind the Ravenclaw and stole one of the papers from the younger Black with a familiarity that neither of the Marauders had known that the two teens had and made Sirius clench his teeth, grounding them with some emotion that he didn't know. But James didn't see that as he watched the younger Black brother glare at the Gryffindor only to be met with a cheeky smile that they hardly ever saw from the teen when it was the four of them.

And then Remus was stepping away from the table, sliding onto the boots that he was wearing and putting on another that looked just like them but flashed with green light as the lion touched his wand to them.

Hermes's Sandals , the three called them and the hidden pair knew why when Remus ran forwards as if his bones didn't creak and then leapt into the air, stepping onto it as if it were a solid thing. The lions were reminded of the scene that they had witnessed the last time that it was just the strange trio and knew that this must have been what that project was. 

Sirius watched with hooded eyes as Remus danced through the air to some melody that he didn't know but looked stunning while doing so, the wolf going higher and higher toward the tall common ceiling until all the scarred boy would have to do to touch it would be to simply raise his hand and brush his fingers against the painted ceiling there, touching the stars in the way that only the moon could. They watched as he leaned back, arms stretched out wide as if to welcome what was to come, and then the boy was falling.

Even falling the wolf still looked impossibly free.

Just like last time, Remus stopped just before any damage could come to him; a reckless show that had more than one audience member cursing the teen as the boy laughed and glided to the ground like some sort of angel.

Lestrange and Regulus rush to the Gryffindor with bright smiles on their faces and the hidden pair watch as Remus hugs the Ravenclaw girl before throwing an arm around the snake as if that was something natural for him to do. Watching the three, the lions start to understand that whatever exists between them is something untouchable; that in some ways it's a lot like the bond between Sirius and James themselves. The lions, Sirius especially, tries not to be too jealous because of that as he watches his brother laugh in a way that he never had before and the boys look at the Lestrange girl as if she were their sister.

When the pair leave, they don't even know exactly what their mourning the loss of, only that they are.

—-

When the five of them meet by the Black Lake the day before they are meant to leave Hogwarts for the summer holidays, the air is a lot more grim than it ever had been between them, as the future hung over the lot of them.

"My parents are going to make me take the mark over the summer," Regulus says from his spot between Remus and Dora, finally voicing the thing hanging so heavy between them all.

Remus doesn't miss the way that the rest of the snakes steal glances at him, waiting to see just how he would react. They didn't know that he had been thinking about this a lot since the day that he first hung the ring around his neck.

The wolf turns and looks the younger Black in the eyes and knows what he must do once he sees the fear in them. Remus grabs the other boy's hand, the ring that rests there - the promise that it represents - and speaks before he can talk himself out of it.

"Do it," he says with a firm voice, surprising the others. "I was there when Sirius came to the Potters last year when they wanted him to take it," Remus informs them, something that none of the others had known before. "I know that you won't make it out of that house otherwise, so do it.

"Do it, but don't join him."

"That makes no sense and you know it, Lupin," Regulus says with a shake of his head, but Dora's eyes light up with recognition.

"You want him to become a spy," the Ravenclaw realizes, intelligent eyes locked onto his.

"For Dumbledore?" Barty asks with a scoff that everyone in the group agreed with.

Remus shakes his head. "Dumbledore doesn't give a damn about any of us outside of how he can use us," the wolf said with enough scorn to cut like a blade. "No," he decides, "we create our own side."

"Me with the Death Eaters," Regulus says slowly.

"And me with Dumbledore," Remus finishes before looking at the others, hope so painfully clear in his eyes. "You guys in or what? "

They all looked between one another, determination setting in the snakes and eagle's eyes. It was answer enough. 

"Merlin, we're all suicidal," Evan says with a shake of his head, but the Slytherin was grinning sharply. They all were.

The world saw them as monsters, they would prove them right.