Is It Permissible To Abandon a Childhood Friend Who Has Become a School Idol and Be Happy



1

“Let’s break up.”

An empty classroom at dusk.

In a world of just the two of us, I make my declaration.

A sense of inevitable resignation hung heavy in the air, and the words that escaped my lips were pathetic, even to me.

“…Why?”

Her voice trembles.

I’m a little surprised, but there’s no changing what’s been done.

I don’t know if explaining my reasons will make her understand, but I had to do this.

Or perhaps if I had spoken sooner—no, it’s no use.

There’s no point in dwelling on what could have been.

To begin with, I could never have done it. I was always too afraid to show her my own pathetic self.

(…She’s become so beautiful, Mio.)

Truly, she has changed.

Bathed in the light of the setting sun, she was radiant.

She was so beautiful—and that’s precisely why I’m choosing to leave.

“That’s because…”

The you that I know is no longer anywhere to be found.

I had a childhood friend.

A girl named Misaka Mio, who was the same age as me.

I think that Mio and I, who had spent so much time together since we were little, were very close.

Our personalities were both introverted, and we liked reading books at home more than playing outside, and we enjoyed having quiet conversations together more than making a lot of noise with a group of people.

It was simply that we were a good match for each other.

I felt at ease in a relationship where I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t or hide anything.

When I was with Mio, I felt calm.

So I guess it was natural that I started to think that I wanted to be with her forever.

Fortunately, I guess you could say that.

Mio was never a conspicuous child.

Although her appearance was well-groomed, she usually wore her hair in a braid and covered half of her face with plain black-rimmed glasses. In a word, she was a plain child.

In addition to her quiet personality, she didn’t actively interact with others very much, so there were probably quite a few classmates who had never even heard Mio’s voice properly.

She was never isolated or bullied, but she never took center stage or was in the spotlight either.

To put it nicely, she was ordinary. To put it badly, she was a loner, and Mio was at the opposite end of the spectrum from the flashy, high-class kids in the class.

—That was what I was grateful for.

No one else knew Mio’s gentle, shy smile or her beautiful voice that was as clear as the sound of bells.

No one but me knew that she had a very kind personality or that she had a habit of tracing her fingers over passages she liked when she was reading a book.

If no one else was going to step in, then it was inevitable that I, her childhood friend, would be the one who knew her best.

I even felt a sense of superiority about that, and I was even proud of it.

—I’m the only one who’s noticed Mio’s charm. I’m the only one who should know about Mio.

It must have been a childish possessiveness.

But the feelings I had were infinitely pure, and I didn’t want to let go of them.

That’s why I was so happy when I confessed to Mio and she accepted my feelings.

I believed, purely and simply, that this happiness would last forever.

—The trigger was something trivial.

Shortly after we started dating, Mio said she was going to be on a quiz show.

Apparently, a relative had applied for her without her permission, and the reason was that she was smart and would probably do well, which was rather selfish.

Of course, I advised Mio not to go.

I thought that being on TV would be stressful for her, since she hated standing out, and more than anything, I didn’t want to expose Mio to the public eye.

Mio hadn’t applied for it herself, and I could have come up with any number of excuses for her to decline.

So I was really surprised when she shook her head.

I had thought she would nod, so I didn’t think she would refuse, and Mio smiled wryly at me, who was just flustered.

“I feel bad turning you down because you’re always so nice to me. I’ll probably be disqualified right away, so it’s just this once.”

…When she said that, I had no choice but to back down.

She said that, but Mio is a kind person, so I’m sure she couldn’t bring herself to refuse.

I realized that, but pressing her any further would only put Mio in a bind.

I didn’t want to hurt Mio in the first place, and if I were to be stubborn here, it would mean that I didn’t trust her as her boyfriend.

With that conclusion, I reluctantly gave her a simple “Good luck” as encouragement.

—I have no regrets about the choice I made at that time.

Considering my personality, I would have said the same words to her no matter how many times I had to repeat them.

“…Thank you, Kou-kun.”

Smiling gently as if she was slightly relieved, Misaki’s figure is still burned into my mind.

…Yeah, I don’t regret the choice itself.

But even so, there are times when I can’t help but think about it.

If I had tried harder to stop her at that time, would our future have been different?