Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 1



Cover Away

The first chapter is a background explanation.

That’s the standard rule of web novels.

Anyway.

In South Korea at an unspecified time.

The world has turned upside down.

One day, strange buildings began to be reported from all over the country.

There was no warning or even a hint.

The strange buildings just suddenly existed as if they had always been there.

But did the existence of those buildings twist people’s consciousness? The locals didn’t even know when those buildings appeared.

No, they thought they’d been there from the start.

So everyone felt no sense of incongruity, until someone pointed it out.

And that pointing out was done by outsiders.

Those who visited the area after a long time or those who came for the first time.

They ironically recognized buildings that had appeared in their own area while completely missing the ones from other regions.

Only then did people start feeling strange.

It was like realizing that an item that had always existed in your house was something no one ever brought in.

Something feels off.

Why is this suddenly here?

And last but not least.

It’s scary.

People tend to cling to something when they’re scared.

Children to parents, subjects to kings, and the faithful to gods.

And those belonging to South Korea clung to their country.

In no time, countless reports were filed.

In fact, when you really think about it, the number of those strange buildings wasn’t actually that many.

But even with just one building, countless senders reported it from different places, multiple times.

As a result, numerous reports came flooding in to various government offices, causing their operations to paralyze.

Had they properly dealt with it at that moment and understood the locations, things would be vastly different now.

However, due to the characteristics of government offices, if there was even a slight irrelevance, they simply redirected or buried it, resulting in ‘slightly’ delayed identification of the buildings’ locations.

Pointing out that it was ‘slightly’ delayed might seem unfair.

That’s a reasonable opinion.

In the midst of the confusion, one might argue that for that amount of trouble, they should be praised.

However, if the costs paid due to that were enormous, all blame and responsibility tend to focus on obvious fault lines.

*

The buildings varied in size, but they all shared common characteristics.

Square structures with a circular hole in the middle like a donut.

If you really had to argue, they could be compared to a slightly thin-columned arch.

And one day, suddenly, the circular openings in some of these buildings began to shimmer with blue light.

Out of that, emerged various beings you might only see in fantasy.

Elves, dwarfs, beastmen, and so on.

The appearance of these new beings caused a bigger commotion in the world than when people noticed the buildings.

Initially, there were conflicts of varying degrees of violence, but as usual, everything ended with proper negotiations and active exchanges.

Later confirmed to be a sort of door and passage connecting different dimensions.

The government referred to this as a gate, and before long, those beings seamlessly became a part of daily life.

The National Institute of Korean Language proposed terms like “transference gate” or “dimensional gate,” but it was just a minor incident to avoid confusion since similar cases were occurring in other countries.

Not long after, people began to get accustomed to the current situation.

Thus, they became complacent.

Drunk on familiarity, they forgot about the existence of the gates that weren’t active yet.

Then, all of a sudden, the remaining inactive gates started to shimmer with red light.

And what emerged from there were beings entirely different from those met before.

They attacked people at random, engaging only in destruction, and weren’t capable of communication; they were monsters.

Diversity in forms from animal-like appearances to formless monstrosities, there were a vast number of them.

These beings now referred to as monsters or beasts.

Initially, things weren’t too bad.

With firearms still effective, armies were deployed to wipe them out and it yielded decent results.

After all, nothing makes for a better target than mindless attackers.

However, as time went on, things began to take a turn for the worse.

Creatures that targeted only civilians, attempting hit-and-run tactics using terrain.

Beings executing human-like tactics sprang into action, leading the fight to quickly spiral into an enormous disaster.

Only then did the government speed up their efforts to pinpoint the location of the gates; however, as mentioned previously, things were ‘slightly’ delayed.

The damage had already reached an uncontrollable level.

In the end, anyone with their limbs was drafted, even those missing an arm or leg were sent into operations.

What a truly incompetent decision.

And the decisions of incompetent leaders only yielded suffering for countless innocent people.

As a result, the population began to drop dramatically.

*

Wait a minute.

This isn’t the beginning of an apocalypse.

I didn’t know the front part would exceed 1800 characters. Seriously. Sorry.

Anyway, since the monsters appeared, subtle changes began to occur within people.

With the emergence of fantasy creatures, fantasy-like events started happening to some people as well.

Not every person, but some began to manifest what one might call “abilities.”

Typical examples include fire manipulation, ice creation, and acceleration abilities.

Abilities anyone had once dreamed of; however, not everyone received the power they desired.

Some found themselves able to freely detach their limbs or having fast-growing nails.

Life was truly a gamble with no option to reset.

As a result, thanks to the active monster hunting led by these ability users, the tide started to turn back.

Thus, those actively hunting monsters began to be called hunters, marking the dawn of the hunter era.

Thanks to the hunters’ efforts, there were still some monsters around, but unlike before, a somewhat peaceful situation now prevailed.

And when peace begins to sprout, people start to divert their attention elsewhere.

A prime example being discrimination based on differences.

Differences in abilities led to discrimination between ability users and non-users.

Among ability users, there were also disparities in strength that led to further discrimination.

Among hunters, the situation was even more pronounced.

The term “hunter” distinguished them from others, and they established the Hunter Association to gather.

Inside it, discrimination and hierarchy among them persisted, ultimately defining ranks to categorize them.

And these ranks borrowed from the most popular game grades.

Iron, bronze, silver, gold, and then platinum.

This was the starting point for the phrase “So, what’s your tier?” becoming a common greeting among hunters.

*

Regions chosen by gates connecting to other dimensions display entirely different scenes.

Gates spewing monsters were, of course, obliterated, leaving only gates that allowed interaction with other dimensions.

That rarity alone sufficed to create unique characteristics, attracting people and fostering commercial development.

A prime example being the Nonsan Training Center.

That damned rarity spawned a damned commercial zone.

Anyway, areas with gates are mostly filled with hunters approved to traverse them.

And these gates exhibit a lifestyle distinctly different from other regions.

For example, acquiring highly rare weapons only handled in other dimensions.

“Still no idiots who can’t buy magic swords from the dwarfs?”

“…Shut up, that’s just uranium.”

“Definitely killing the user; it’s a fitting term for magic swords.”

Like the development of the underground market.

“The rabbit spear is epic. 3-second-cut possible.”

“Dude’s a premature ejaculator.”

“Call it rapid-fire.”

“Better than a 300-year veteran elf bard, I’d say.”

“Mom, this dude’s taste is scary.”

Of course, not everything there is good.

Didn’t I say there’s a damned commercial zone in the Nonsan Training Center?

It’s no different.

“What the hell is this… food?”

“Damn it… where did our 200-year tradition of Chinese Elf chefs go?”

“He got expelled due to self-employment protection laws.”

“This chicken is so undercooked, I could shock it back to life, damn it.”

Though it’s a relatively peaceful time, scars leave behind great marks.

The reduced population meant there weren’t even enough forces to defend the nation.

Hunters in Korea would be used as reserves in case of emergencies, but most preferred general jobs over being hunters, even if they had abilities.

Life is more precious than anything else.

As a result, during the early stages, there was a shortage of hunters.

On top of that, due to the incompetent actions of the past, they lost significant support, with some shares taken by the Hunter Association.

A solution was urgently needed.

Thus, the government threw two baited hooks.

One was to provide enormous benefits to hunters.

Benefits that would make someone think, “Is it worth risking my life for this?”

The other was to run a professional training institution with an irresistible reward attached.

On the surface, they claimed it was for vocational diversity, but in reality, they aimed to breed hunting dogs that make a profession out of fighting.

This was the inception of the government-operated Hunter Academy.

Thus, the curtain rose on the era of hunters.

*

The abyss in my mind speaks.

Kill that guy.

“From today, I’m a hunter.”

“Why would you want to be a hunter, you idiot?”

“To smash that head of yours. My life’s work? Damn, you!”

“Let’s see if you can forget that for the rest of your life?”

At that moment, the old man was laughing, enjoying himself.

But does laughing mean you won’t get your head smashed?

Nope.

I’ll have to do it myself.

“Anyway, keep this in mind. Take good care of that head.”

“Want one more? This time, it’s really my life’s work.”

“Just die already, for real.”

At that time, I was in my second year of middle school.

Words held no weight whatsoever at this point.

So most decisions made wouldn’t be considered sincere.

However, if that statement remained consistent all the way to high school, it could be seen as stepping into the realm of seriousness.

“Are you really going to take on a ridiculous job as a hunter? Going to the academy?”

“Tuition-free, no army duty. That’s it.”

“Don’t go. You’ll die right after graduation, for real.”

“I knew you’d say that.”

But the old man was a step ahead.

“‘As long as I’m fine, it doesn’t matter!!’ That won’t work anymore.”

“What? Give me back my line.”

“Hey, these days, even university tuition isn’t expensive.”

“True, but…”

“But what?”

I looked the old man in the eye.

“But… big brother… I have to smash your head, you know.”

“Isn’t it about time you start to waver?”

“Damn it, I’m still suffering.”

Should I kill him, Master?

Hold on. My inner HAL.

“True, it was a masterpiece that’ll remain in my life.”

“You’ve never seen it, damn it!!”

“…I already know everything.”

Suddenly, the old man wore a haggard expression and continued.

“Let’s just say you went to the academy. Do you have any abilities or tier?”

“I’ll earn them when I get there.”

“Can I get burial insurance? Beneficiary: me.”

That concluded our conversation that day.

Still, the old man kept asking for my opinions every time he saw me, trying to talk me out of it.

Of course, it had no effect.

Because every time I thought of following his advice, the abyss surfaced in my mind.

In the end, the old man half-gave up and suggested something else.

“Yeah, if you want to go, go. But I’ll at least ensure you don’t die.”

“Wow… finally something respectable.”

“If you die, it’d be awkward to get side dishes from your family.”

“You bastard, seriously.”

As he headed home, the old man said.

“Anyway, eat first and come to the gym behind the big mart.”

“But I can’t enter because I’m not registered at that gym.”

Suddenly, the old man produced a card the size of an ID from between his index and middle finger and showed it.

“I can get in with this qualification.”

“…You didn’t return it? You said you retired.”

“If you show this, they give discounts at stores. It’s nice.”

After quickly finishing dinner, I headed to the location where the old man said to come.

Coincidentally, the old man was placing his credential against the door of the training center.

As soon as it contacted, the door opened with a small notification.

“Wow, it really works. It’s my first time using this since retirement.”

“What would you have done if it didn’t work? Came unprepared?”

The old man scratched his head awkwardly.

“I was planning to catch someone I know to ask them to open it.”

“What? You don’t seem to have friends.”

“Damn you.”

Indeed, it seems like the place used for martial arts and training, as multiple gym equipment and measurement devices caught my eye as soon as the door opened.

However, since we weren’t there to gym, we promptly moved to the sparring ground.

Upon arrival at the sparring ground, the old man started fiddling with a strange machine.

When I got closer to watch, words like this appeared.

“Please set the location, time limit, and equipment.”

And the old man very naturally began to input settings into the machine.

This was the first time I saw the old man act like a true hunter.

“Location: Default”
“Time Limit: Unlimited”
“Equipment: All”

Once all inputs were complete, a slight thunderous noise echoed as guide voice announced.

“Physical damage in this sparring ground does not affect reality.”
“However, mental damage persists, so please be cautious during sparring.”
“Enjoy your sparring while adhering to rules and manners.”

The background of the sparring ground didn’t change, and a pile of weapons appeared in the corner.

From there, the old man pulled out two wooden swords and handed one to me.

“Good news and better news. Which one do you want to hear first?”

“Good news first.”

“I’ll personally teach you.”

Suddenly, the old man began swinging the wooden sword around.

Somehow, the sound felt ominous that day.

“…That means you’re just going to beat me up, right?”

“Hey, where else do you get a one-on-one lesson like this? Normally, you’d have to beg on your knees for this.”

“Then what’s the better news?”

At that moment, the wooden sword stopped swinging.

“The fact that you’ll be learning every day. Wow! How nice!”

“…Should I quit being a hunter?”

“It’s already too late. You don’t have a girlfriend anyway. Forget about running away.”

“I prefer black-haired girls with obsessive feelings; an old man clinging is disgusting.”

But I was still a minor.

Being a minor meant I have my parents as a shield.

“Oh, and your parents said to take care of things.”

“What the hell?”

“Thanks to them, I got a pork cutlet today.”

“F*ck, that’s terrible.”

Now there’s no escape.

Having moved around enough to warm up, the old man gripped the wooden sword tightly.

Then, with a dirtier grin than ever, he charged at me.

“Then let’s have a little fun!”

That day, screams, moans, and cries for help echoed through the sparring ground.

Naturally, it was all coming from me.

And that day, I received three broken wooden swords.



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