Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 579



Side Story Chapter 25 – Let’s Park Properly.

The space known as a department store is truly bizarre.

Countless products catch people’s eyes and make them buy without even realizing it.

If you think about it a little more rationally, you’ll know it’s all completely useless.

Whether it’s simply goods or food, it’s the same.

Even items that are already in use somehow look fancier.

Once you buy them, their value seems to vanish in an instant.

Food that looked delicious ends up being ambiguous once you get home.

If you somehow manage to eat it all without leaving any, that’s considered impressive.

From the moment you step in, it’s a space that traps you in the spell of impulse buying.

Didn’t we say we visited the department store in a previous episode?

We unintentionally spent time under the spell of the department store.

After quickly buying everything we needed as late as it was, we began to search.

Right after entering the department store, Elcia and Caressy had mysteriously vanished.

“Hey, Piece, have you seen where the two went?”

[I don’t know. I was just in the car.]

Of course, we could find them soon.

Didn’t we just say the department store is a space for impulse buying?

Enticed by the bait, it’s hard not to end up buying useless things.

However, that’s not the case for Elcia.

“More, please!!!”

“…There’s no stock left…”

“How can we serve customers like this!”

Especially for Elcia, who devoured everything right at the point of purchase.

Elcia was clearly making her presence known in the food section.

In fact, this level was something we could easily predict.

It’s just that…

“…By the way, do you have money, ma’am?”

“I’ll put it on hold!”

Now, it was unexpected that she hadn’t brought any money, being completely broke.

Even though Elcia supposedly had a lot of money now.

Eating without paying is practically stealing.

In the end, the employees in the food section started frantically looking for a manager.

“Where’s the armband! Where’s the armband!”

“Don’t talk like that, just say manager!”

The title might sound odd, but it wasn’t exactly incorrect.

Both of them handling chaos and trouble in their own territories.

And when needed, they could wield their authority as they please.

Of course, they earned a salary anyone would envy.

And unless something extraordinary happened, they didn’t have to worry about retirement.

It truly could be considered the dream job everyone aspires to.

Anyway, when the suddenly appearing manager came, Caressy naturally stepped in.

“I’ll pay, so just leave it to me.”

“Phew… Got it. That’s a relief.”

“Oh, and when this girl comes to the department store, just give her whatever she wants and bill me.”

Caressy’s outrageous suggestion for Elcia.

Elcia, who never had to worry about money, must have thought about the current embarrassing situation.

Of course, this was clearly a violation of regulations.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but as per department store policy, payment in advance is required.”

“Did you suddenly want to run a bleeding business with this giant department store next to us?”

“But rules are meant to be broken, right? Understood.”

Why do you think an armband is called an armband?

It’s because they are remarkably competent, far more than the hefty salary.

Such quick thinking is impossible without that armband.

It could be said that the dignity of the armband matches its enviable position.

Watching that, I couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet emotion.

The community’s armband always rejects everything unlike reality.

And never once expresses positive feelings towards my posts.

Instead, it merely blocks the dynamic images.

Though the content of those posts were materials that the heroines forcefully showed me after I sacrificed my memories.

I never imagined they would flat-out reject everything.

One would think there should be at least one material they could like.

Honestly, don’t you think it’s ridiculous?

When I post some content, I get immediate rejection.

That doesn’t mean I like monsters.

And when I post furry gay videos, I get cursed at.

Grandma and grandpa delete them as soon as they see them.

How much longer must I endure this?

Even if they are high earners, they are way too picky about their tastes.

[Seeing how much thumbs down I get, it seems most people like it.]

“Exactly what I’m saying. I should post again.”

Anyway, since Elcia and Caressy had joined us, it was time to head home.

We walked towards the vehicle outside with bags in both hands.

As we arrived at the parking place, we could just spot Piece.

However, there was one problem.

“You can’t park like this!”

[Why are you making such a fuss over a slight delay?]

Right next to her was a man and a police officer.

He was raising his voice at Piece while pointing at the vehicle.

To be specific, he was referring to the improperly parked vehicle that had been illegally parked.

Judging by the situation, it seemed he was a traffic officer on the lookout for illegal parking.

With the police present, the atmosphere was quite tense.

“Please move it quickly!”

[What if I don’t want to?]

“I’ll give you a fine!”

With those words, the traffic officer stealthily checked the number plate and immediately slapped a ticket on it.

Moreover, it seemed Piece’s words particularly rubbed him the wrong way.

He placed the ticket right in the very center of the car’s windshield.

It was an act likely filled with malice on the part of the officer.

Then Piece donned a mocking smile across her face.

[Why don’t you cover your own face with that?]

“No, this is way too excessive!”

[The world seems beautiful when two idiots roam together.]

Now even the police officer, who had kept silent, was provoked.

Did he have some complex about his appearance or something?

The police officer grimaced and growled at Piece.

As if he wanted something, he extended a hand.

“Your license, please.”

[I don’t have one, so what do you want me to give?]

Of course, what his hand could grab was…

“Doesn’t really matter. You can find out with a license plate check.”

[How about getting an estimate for your face instead during this time?]

Only the angered fingers of the officer were all that remained.

No matter how much he was a police officer, he was still human with emotions.

However, the moment he received a deep emotional wound from Piece’s words, he began to wield his authority as a cop.

Though he claimed it was based on principle, it wouldn’t be odd to call it an abuse of power.

“…Your tint is too dark, so I’ll give you a fine.”

[I only did it because I couldn’t bear to look at your face?]

Of course, regardless, Piece kept gently riling up the officer.

“Have you been drinking?”

[How could I possibly look like this… how dare you?]

“I’ll need to conduct a breathalyzer test, so hurry up! Quickly!”

In a moment, the police officer had pulled out a breathalyzer.

Whether Piece was actually the driver or had been drinking seemed uncertain.

However, it appeared the officer had half decided that Piece was out of her mind.

Well, it wouldn’t be strange to think that she was insane.

And of course, naturally.

[How pitiful… ]

“I’ll be treating this as refusal to submit to the test!!!”

Piece’s response was also somewhat far from the norm.

With those words, the police officer stormed off after double-checking the license plate.

He wrote the number down multiple times before finally leaving.

Somewhere in between, unable to contain his anger, he roared several complaints.

Even the traffic officer shot him a glance of disdain before leaving.

From what had transpired, the level of punishment would likely be quite severe.

At this rate, it wouldn’t merely end with just paying a fine.

It was obvious that this would hinder daily life thereafter.

With escalating severity, the punishment can only become worse.

Moreover, before long, a tow truck started hauling away the illegally parked vehicle.

It seemed the traffic officer was fueled by revenge and processed it all very quickly.

Even though they were public servants, they appeared extremely swift only when it came to such matters.

Of course, even so, Piece was confidently sitting there, as if nothing had happened.

“Piece.”

[Oh, you came.]

There was only one thing I could say to Piece.

“What were you doing in front of someone else’s car?”

[I was bored.]

She was messing around with a car she had never seen before.

Wondering what she was doing outside, I couldn’t believe she’d relieve boredom like this.

No matter how you look at it, she was truly insane.

[Well, it is illegal parking, so it’s not like I’m particularly upset about it.]

“That’s true.”

Since Piece wasn’t entirely wrong, I decided to let it slide.

In the first place, the person who illegally parked was at fault.

That’s why their car gets towed.

Who told them to park like that?

It’s not like they were threatened with a knife to park illegally.

“…Where’s my car…?”

“Umm…”

“You threatened me with a knife to park here! Where’s my car!”

“No, f*ck. I seriously didn’t think they would tow it. Besides, it was honestly just a joke.”

It was true that we were threatened with a knife.

As we loaded our things into the car parked across from us, two men came over and started arguing at the spot where the car had been.

They were likely the owner of the towed vehicle and his accomplice who had threatened with a knife.

And judging by their stubborn refusal to apologize, it was half certain they were hunters.

“…Shall we head out…?”

[…Let’s do that…]

Well, it wasn’t our problem, so we quietly turned back towards home.



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