Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

Chapter 605



Side Story Chapter 51 – Adult’s Fear

Fortunately, as soon as the kids went out, the video shut off immediately.

The heavy darkness made the earlier commotion feel like a lie.

The deep silence added to the eeriness, but right now, I couldn’t be more grateful for that stillness.

Taking a breath, I mentally expressed my thanks repeatedly.

After a bit of time passed, I broke through the thick silence.

“Ayeon, are you okay?”

“……I’m fine.”

“That’s a relief.”

There’s a saying that time heals all wounds.

It’s not a saying that applies to everything, but in this case, it seemed fitting.

Ayeon, who had been panicking, had ultimately accepted reality.

“It’s just that the ‘official’ was rambling on its own.”

“……That’s true…”

Of course, she hadn’t fully embraced reality, but… anyway…

[Hey now, the ‘official’ animation will come out soon, and you’re still denying reality?]

‘F*ck, girl.’

Anyway, the kids were gone, and it was just Ayeon and me.

Noticing this, Ayeon coincidentally made eye contact with me.

Now that this had happened, I decided to ask Ayeon for her opinion.

What should we do from here on out?

“What are you planning to do now?”

“I will follow the kids.”

Ayeon answered immediately, as if she had been waiting for my words.

It’s definitely dangerous to leave the kids on their own like this.

Even if Yumi and Yeonwoo don’t cause any trouble temporarily,

it’s not unusual for something to happen due to the uniqueness of being children.

They could get lost or, worse, kidnapped.

Of course, if that happened, an end would come upon us.

But preventing such situations from occurring altogether is the best course of action.

Based on that, Ayeon going out is very appropriate.

“Dry your clothes and go.”

“……F*ck… You noticed…?”

It would be better if she went out a little later.

Anyway, after some time, Ayeon went outside, leaving me alone to quietly ponder.

Do I really need to stay here any longer?

The only reason I came to this haunted house was because of the kids.

But now that the kids are gone, that reason has vanished.

Staying here alone would just be a waste of time.

However, just as I was about to move to leave,

『Thump thump. Ah—this is a message from ‘Nix’.』

A sudden broadcast halts my steps.

Even though it was the first time hearing this method, I felt oddly annoyed.

Something I had never experienced began to vaguely surface.

『From now on, I will slightly adjust the difficulty level to suit adults.』

I couldn’t express it precisely, but I felt an unsettling sense of dread.

If I stay here any longer, I’ll regret it—my instinct is ringing alarms like crazy.

Before I knew it, my hand was on the emergency exit door.

『If you’re scared, you can leave.』

But as soon as I heard the next words, I pulled my hand away from the door.

They must know that I’m the only one here.

Can these little brats even think about trying to “kill” me?

They want to die, these bastards.

If I run away after hearing this, I’d be unworthy of being the protagonist.

Regret? I can deal with that later.

Admitting defeat here would lead to a lifetime of regret.

『So, I’ll take that as you agreeing to the adult’s haunted house.』

Even though it’s said in a businesslike tone, it sounded mocking.

Maybe because of that, I grew determined and started striding forward.

I can’t back down like a little dog after being challenged.

[How scary can it be, anyway?]

‘You said it.’

With that firmly in mind, I moved forward with strong strides.

Meanwhile, maybe thinking there was no need for an adult’s haunted house anymore,

I felt like I had been walking for a long time, yet no one appeared.

The ghosts that had popped up just moments ago were now gone, like a lie.

As I was starting to feel eerily silent in a different way,

just after turning the corner, a tree suddenly came into view.

Various types of talismans were wrapped around it, as if trying to seal something.

No matter how you look at it, it looked far from a good thing.

An incredibly sticky sense of foreboding rose within me instantly.

And beside it, a gleaming axe lay.

It felt as if they wanted me to chop down the tree before me with that axe.

At that moment, the quiet silence was broken by a mechanical voice.

『That is a sacred tree here at ‘Nix’.』

“What the hell?”

I was speechless, nearly letting out a sigh of disbelief.

Using the name ‘Nix’ while plastering talismans all over it.

It’s nothing but an eyesore, yet they dare to call it sacred.

Have they lost their conscience just because the kids are gone?

『You’re not intending to cut down that sacred tree with the axe, are you?』

The neutral tone sounded almost like it was egging me on.

Thanks to that, I felt an overwhelming urge to chop that tree down right away.

My body had long since gripped the axe before my thoughts could catch up.

『I wouldn’t really recommend that, you know?』

“Shut it. I’ll just give you a few whacks.”

No matter how you look at it, it’s a clear invitation to chop down the tree.

Of course, if I did, I’d probably be cursed, or the evil spirit would cling to me.

But already, I had a real evil spirit named Piece latched onto me.

[You bastard.]

‘Shut up, evil spirit!’

Adding one more evil spirit wouldn’t change anything.

This is entirely the fault of these bastards who left an axe by the tree.

Nobody told me to stand there and threaten me with a weapon.

They only say it’s special, yet in reality, it’s not all that special.

Moreover, the damage would be the ghosts’ share, not mine.

Thinking like that, I swung the axe with a light heart.

『Are you sure you want to cut something that doesn’t belong to you?』

“Hey, you bastard!!!”

Then, I desperately turned the axe in another direction.

The light heart turned heavy in an instant, and my hand holding the axe became even heavier.

The only relief was that the axe merely grazed the tree, cutting through the air.

In fact, I was so close that if I had been even a bit late, I would have definitely left a mark.

Chills ran down my spine.

This adult-oriented haunted house was no mere facade.

Even I, an adult, felt my heart tighten momentarily.

I almost got dragged into legal troubles!

Meanwhile, the axe, having lost its original target, began to carve into the wall.

Small sparks flew, and deep, clear scars drew across the wall.

In sync with this, a sound that one wouldn’t expect from an axe pierced my ears.

– Kki ki ki ki ki k!!

“Kyaaaaaaaak!!!”

At the same time, another sound came from the axe that seemed impossible to exist.

A shrill scream pierced through, as if expressing the jagged wall in its place.

Out of curiosity, I turned my gaze, and there stood a female beastkin.

It seemed she was an employee who couldn’t get out, dressed as a ghost.

“Um… Are you okay…?”

“……Yes……”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

I scratched the back of my head awkwardly and apologized to her.

Though the haunted house had angered me, this woman had nothing to do with it.

So, isn’t it basic human decency to apologize right away?

As I pondered how to comfort her,

– Cling!

“……Excuse me…?”

Suddenly, the trembling female beastkin rushed forward and hugged me tightly.

It was dark, so I couldn’t see well, but maybe she had some curves?

Her body pressed against mine assertively.

Soft yet with just enough resilience to gently push back.

Though not quite like the heroines, she was soft enough.

“Actually, I’m really scared…”

“And?”

But this wasn’t good.

Even though I’m here alone, I’m already a proper dad.

I have two kids, and another one on the way.

Is it really appropriate for someone like me to be hugging another woman?

So I aimed to detach her quickly.

“Can I hug you until I calm down?”

“Let go. You’re not some kid.”

Even if I felt a bit sorry for her, I spoke those callous words without hesitation.

“Yes, but I’m still in middle school, so I’m not used to scary things—”

“Get off! You little bastard! I said get off!!!”

I wasn’t sorry at all, and I hurled out obscenities without hesitation.

It’s already dangerous to have physical contact with a woman who isn’t my wife.

And she’s not even an adult; she’s a minor.

That was too risky and genuinely frightening.

[Her body was soft, and she was tight inside…]

‘I didn’t do anything, you f*cking girl!!!’

I was serious about fearing I might actually get sanctioned.

This is already a novel filled with numerous anxieties.

Parody, explicitness, religious controversies—nothing about this isn’t unsettling.

But among all the issues, I absolutely cannot deal with the minor scandal.

If I’m not careful, I could disappear without a trace.

Even the lenient Nobelpia could not overlook such a matter.

“It was a joke, customer~!”

“Die, f*cker!!!”

Fortunately, the potential for something ‘complete’ was gone.

But that didn’t mean my anger had vanished, so I immediately threw the axe.

If the other person were an adult, I could use violence as much as I wanted.

I’m not a kind person who would let this slide easily.

“But! I managed to dodge that so easily!”

Of course, she must have anticipated this, skillfully dodging away.

Sticking her tongue out, she quickly concealed herself again.

Thanks to that, I was the only one left, trying hard to suppress my irritation.

At that moment, I heard soft footsteps approaching from the direction I had thrown the axe.

Could it be another employee from the haunted house coming?

I had no idea who it was, but honestly, I didn’t care much.

No, I just silently wished they’d come quickly.

Right now, I needed someone to vent my frustration on.

The slow footsteps grew clearer,

and as I clenched my fist tightly,

the other party suddenly called out to me.

“Did you throw the axe?”

“What are you gonna do about it?”

I answered snappily, careful not to sound too hostile.

If that caused the person to burst out, I would be more than welcome.

I could use that as an example and make sure they’d back off from then on.

After all, if they’re here, they must all be employees aside from me.

“You made my tteokbokki fall, you bastard!”

Ah.

F*ck.

I’m screwed.

[……So, they are an employee… a little higher up…]

‘No, no, no, no, no, no.’

It’s clear that this person is indeed an employee.

However, they weren’t from just any haunted house.

They belonged to a much higher group than that.

One that led the entire group.

Overcome by rising fear, I quickly turned and ran.

It’s already a novel packed with things to get judged on; if I’m marked any more, I’d be in serious trouble.

I’ve already been on their radar and received warnings, but if I get caught here, I’m f*cked.

“Get lost, tteokbokki!!!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

I was so scared that I ran like crazy with all my might.

As I kept running, running, and running again,

at some point, I lost track of where I was.

Instead of the footsteps that had been chasing me, only my heavy breaths filled the air.

Then, after a while of silence, the mechanical voice returned.

『How was it?』

“It was fcking sht, you bastard.”

A spontaneously thrown curse came out reflexively at the voice that had been silent thus far.

I had underestimated the adult’s haunted house until now,

but I never expected it to deliver this much fear in another way.

I had already completely resolved my lifespan issue.

Yet I was starting to seriously feel like my lifespan was being cut short.

At that moment, an announcement broke into the gaps of my consciousness.

『I warn you. If you want to leave, you should do it now.』

The dry tone made the suggestion even creepier.

As if this was the last mercy they could offer me.

『I certainly advised you. From now on, it’s solely your own responsibility.』

Not satisfied with one warning, they mentioned it twice.

What in the world have they prepared that they’re making such a fuss about it?

Well, even so, I had no intention of leaving at all.

My stubbornness had solidified into obstinacy long ago.

Moreover, given the current situation, pride had that spark of defiance too.

How scary could it be to shout out how scared I am now?

“Bring it on, you bastard.”

To prove that will, I confidently shouted into the darkness.

Since I couldn’t tell where it was coming from, I looked up at the dark ceiling.

At that moment, I heard something drop and roll right in front of my feet.

– Thud. Rumble rumble. Thud. Rumble.

It was a sound both light and heavy at the same time.

As it rolled, I noticed it was circular, but irregular in shape.

What could this be? I shone my flashlight to check.

What I saw was just as I expected.

It wasn’t particularly heavy, but it wasn’t completely weightless either.

Overall, it was circular, but it was definitely not a perfect circle.

However, even looking at it, I couldn’t bring myself to speak.

And for good reason.

Slowly rolling towards me.

Now just touching my feet.

It was.

‘……’

[……]

A human head.



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