Isekai Speedrun

Speaking of side characters Magic Word and Snowstone, I had a few magic words I could give to the members of the Slave Towers gang.

But I need to take some precautions and test if my knowledge about this world really works. If I show up unannounced, and talk like an outsider, they'll probably take my shoes and my life, and not in that order.

Unfortunately this has to be a live test.

Can't make a world record run with safe strats, as the saying goes.

As I carefully approached the area next to the Slave Towers, I spotted a corner boy wearing a bright red scarf and holding an axe. He was sitting on a rotten tree trunk and eating dried meat while being wary of his surroundings. He was around 12 years old, old enough to live and work on his own in this world.

The younger gang members usually patrolled the gang territory carrying weapons like axes and short swords just like in the game, while leaders and elders held the fort.

A low-level scout character was perfect a for a dialogue test. Rather than being afraid, I felt a sudden surge of relief and confidence because the scout was wearing the familiar colors and patterns of a Slave Towers gang. The same colors as in the game.

Ah, but he still had an axe. I only had sticks and stones. Should I return to the temple and try to steal the revolver from the monk before first contact with the gang? I had never fired a black powder revolver, though. In fact, I had never fired any real gun whatsoever.

I might just embarrass myself, if I try to use it. They would surely take it from me and laugh at my incompetence.

I'm not a mechanical engineer or a soldier. I can't start crafting and using unknown firearms like some overpowered light novel protagonist. I might be able to half-ass a compound bow if I could remember how the cables attach to pulleys, but there's not much market for bows when wild west era firearms exist.

Granted, an art school dropout might make a killing in cultural circles of this world by inventing new art styles, but I don't think there's much market for modern art in a pseudo-post-apocalyptic world.

Well, there was heavy RNG in real world art world as well. Certain lucky sponsorship encounters not happening would have surely lead to a world where van Gogh's paintings were nothing but worthless scribbles.

Ugh, my skillset is so useless here. I should have kept a multi-tool on my belt at least. If only I'd known that I'm coming here, I would have taken a quick run at the nearest army surplus store.

But let's not fall into complete despair; I took some basic self-defense classes a few years ago when I felt I was gaining weight and tried to get in shape. A kick in the groin and run away; the simplest and most practical street-tested self-defense lesson.

And I do know how to talk to these war-gang members. I've done it thousands of times in the game and I've always been good at bluffing my way out of trouble. I'm a marathon livestreamer, I can keep talking even when my brains stop thinking.

If things go bad, I can probably overpower a gaunt 12-year old. In the game, basic mooks had only few predictable attack patterns and you could easily manipulate the cycles, although I probably couldn't place much trust in those patterns here.

I'm really talking myself into doing this. I can do this. Challenge accepted. Let's roll. Get to da choppa, Shinji.

I placed the short wooden stick under my belt. In the game, wielding a weapon triggered gangsters to treat you as an enemy by default, so it was safer to walk in their turf without equipping a weapon. Hopefully their real behavior was close enough to that.

I stepped out of my hiding place, clearly showing I was unarmed, and walked closer while repeating a series of hand gestures which looked like out of some strange rap video. Right hand up, ring finger bent; left hand slightly raised, ring finger bent; change right hand to a fist with thumb sideways and make a motion to left like cutting your neck, and at the same time, move left arm right, touching your belt.

Mu-Ur Quincunx fact #184: if you do gangslang chorey fast enough at the start of an encounter, dialogue is triggered instead of battle.

The scout boy sprung up and followed my hands with a serious look on his face. Time to start talking.

“The wind is troubled today.”

“This year.” (scout boy)

“The whole horse.”

“The whole horse.” (scout boy)

After that word salad passphrase nonsense, we did a few fist bumps and tapped our chests. The scout lowered his axe and gave a relaxed smile.

And there you go. I've hosted my speedrun livestream for years, I can deal with trolls and wannabe gangsters.

Secret gang colors, secret codewords, secret handshakes. I knew all of them. I held all the keys. They used the same gangslang both in the anime and in the game, and only those who learned this constructed combination language of signs, gestures and phrases were trusted as members of the underground war-gang community in the Ur territories.

This non sequitur slang became the official language of the Revolution Movement later, and it was a common game mechanism for several frustrating, randomized dialogue puzzles. As a speedrunner, I had naturally properly learned it to solve the unskippable puzzles quickly.

At one point, I kept playing the hardest gangslang puzzles at No-Lands levels over and over again until I could solve them in my sleep; all that just to shave a few seconds consistently.

By the way, this was one of the common misunderstandings about speedrunners; that they always took the easiest shortcut. No, speedrunners took the route that was fastest, even if it was the hardest. Get from start to finish as fast as possible, no matter how much time and work you have to put into it in the real world.

“You coming from the north, brother?” (scout boy)

“Yeah. Stray Dog City.”

“You know Fetcher?” (scout boy)

“He's the man of the gate.”

“Ou, he's still at it!” (scout boy)

The character named Fetcher was one of the neutral NPC's in the Stray Dog City level. He sold cheap battle drugs around the city gates and scouted for the Stray Dogs gang. He was portrayed as an old, low-intelligence member who couldn't rise in the gang ranks.

”My name is Sand Basket. You?” (Sand Basket)

”Qwerty Uozewe.”

”Eh? You a Noble?” (Sand Basket)

”...No.”

”Using a street name like that will bring you only trouble.” (Sand Basket)

”I know. I don't care.”

Oh crap. I accidentally gave my account name instead of coming up with a plausible in-universe street name. Only nobles use surnames here in Suleiman's territories and it takes a special kind of idiot to use a street name without a clear meaning.

Well, my game name has a meaning, but it's unknown to these people. Too late to take it back now, I just have to own it.

”You got 'em some clean clothes. Took 'em from a noble?” (Sand Basket)

”Yeah, something like that.”

In the anime, most of the characters – especially elder gang members – wore brightly-colored, custom-tailored and customized clothes. The in-universe reason was that these war-gangs had a street culture similar to kabukimono of Japan or sapeurs of Congo, but the real reason for colorful clothing was probably the same as with the simple street names: to make the characters easily distinguishable and memorable to anime viewers.

I was actually pretty sure I wouldn't stand out too much even in my casual long sleeve shirt and cargo pants, although I should at least throw a random travel cloak on top.

By the way, one of the anime filler episodes was a town raid to steal new clothes because the gang leaders wanted to run a improvised fashion show. Not the best episode, that one.

Anyway, with my casual modern clothes I probably looked like an elder, successful gangster. For starters, I was healthier than the baseline here and my clothes were clean, even when I was seemingly traveling alone and without any visible firearms. The safest assumption from the boy's perspective was that I had a hidden firearm or skills I could use to protect myself.

Most gang members didn't survive beyond their teens; a 25-year old like me was already an old, respected veteran.

By the way, the hair colors in Mu-Ur Quincunx were surprisingly subtle compared to other anime series. Only few characters had naturally blue hair.

“Can you introduce me to the Slave Towers?”

“Sure, sure. Leader is at the top floor, but can't disturb him today. New woman. You staying?” (Sand Basket)

”No, just passing through, heading south.”

”Oh, going to Crumbling Shores? What are you cooking? Weapons, drugs?” (Sand Basket)

”For now, I'm looking for one brother and one sister.”

”Brother and sister?” (Sand Basket)

”Yes. They should be here. The boy probably wears a mask and the sister loudly calls his brother an idiot. They both have dark brown hair and –”

”Oh, I know who you mean! That girl is so annoyingly loud...” (Sand Basket)

Jackpot! The side characters were here.

“I'd like to talk with them.”

“You pay in krúrick?” (Sand Basket)

“I was thinking I'll pay with work for starters.”

“Oh, right, right... I'll introduce you in, brother.” (Sand Basket)

The scout boy didn't seem to care why I wanted to talk to the sibling; don't ask too many annoying questions from a veteran gangster that walks alone.

---

The Slave Towers complex looked like two spiralling apartment blocks connected by neo-gothic cast-iron bridges. Like most things built by Strangers, the architectural style was extravagant concrete-brutalism-meets-gothic-revival, with hints of geometric naturalism by Antoni Gaudí. They seemed to be heavily into Yugoslavian war monuments and Vauban star forts, to sum it up nicely.

Or let me put it this way: my art school trivia knowledge was meaningless in this world. I could only entertain myself with it.

An older boy was standing in guard at the small side gate of the Slave Towers. He was holding a naginata. The scout went ahead and explained to the guard who I was, then showed me another gang sign meaning “okay”.

I approached the guard boy and talked to him in gang slang. “Please don't body block, that's not cool” was the implied meaning of my signs in a nutshell. Thankfully he approved and lead me inside, leaving the scout boy to stand at guard in his place.

“So you want to talk to some younger members? What's that about?” (guard boy)

”Personal matter. Are they here?”

”We don't sell members, you know?” (guard boy)

”I'm not buying slaves. I need to buy some information from them. I'll pay to this house with work. I don't carry any krúricks.”

”Right, right... they're at the second floor.” (guard boy)

The guard boy pointed at the second floor through a large hole in the ceiling. There seemed to be a large group of kids on the second floor making ropes out of threads and sewing clothes. I nodded at the guard boy and climbed the spiral staircase up to the second floor.

I recognized the side characters sitting together in a corner immediately: a boy with a mask turned to the side of his head and a girl with a red hair ornament behind her ear. Magic Word and Snowstone, Word and Snow.

They were clearly younger than the characters in the game. I had a bad feeling about this.

“How do you do, fellow kids."

"Huh?" (Word)

"Greetings, I mean. Hi there. By the way, how old are you?”

“Who's asking?” (Word)

“Oh right, I should introduce myself first. I am Qwerty Uozewe. I'm 25 years old. What's your name?”

“Word.” (Word)

“I see, I see. And how old are you?”

“Guess.” (Word)

“Hmm, ten, no, twelve?”

“Tch!” (Word)

“Twelve was right? Are you sure?”

“You think I'm stupid or something? I can count.” (Word)

“Yes, sorry that I doubted you. Nice to meet you, Word. What is your sisters name?”

“She's not my sister.” (Word)

“Shut up, idiot! Your name is Date and my name is Sun!” (Snow)

“Don't use our slave names, fool!” (Word)

Yep, they were definitely the same characters. But Date and Sun? So they had actual real names that were never used in the series... No, rather than that, if they are only twelve years old now, that means...

...it's three years before they go to school. That means Inside Out School hasn't been found yet, It's still just a haunted house in the Black Forest.

Starfish Mansion hasn't been found yet either. The twins are still far south somewhere.

Rainwoman and Sorry Man are still at the station

This is too early in the timeline! It's far too early!

No, wait. Calm down and think about it.

I'm basically living in the flashback scenes. This run starts from negative numbers.

Out of level bounds? I'm out of time bounds. How are you going to introduce this glitch in your walkthrough video, fellow speerunner CubePusher?

Rukhkh-bird hasn't made its nest yet.

Final boss hasn't powered-up yet.

In the anime time, the main characters were broken, war-weary addicts, and final boss Caliph Tze was gaining more and more power. At this point in the timeline, the main characters are still in good health and Caliph Tze is still vulnerable.

Isn't this actually good news? I'm running in the backstory, not in the main story. I have a huge pre-game advantage. I'm crazy-prepared. I don't have to trigger any check points or do any mandatory quests. I might be able accomplish something that was impossible in the game...

...I could actually get the good ending.