Isekai Speedrun

At the Aerodrome Base on a forest glade northwest of Starfish Mansion, our ultra-rare dirigible airship was ready for take-off, loaded and weight-balanced by a dedicated sky crew consisting of three young revolutionaries: airship captain Palo, vice-captain Sun’s Girl (aka Sunny), and flight attendant Darling.

I had appointed Palo and Sunny as the main crew because they were loyal members and good students. They were often seen hanging out together on the roof of the orphanage school during the fourth season; a smart and motivated pair of revolutionaries who got separated by unfortunate circumstances at the end of the season. Darling was in a temporary apprentice position. I called her ‘flight attendant’ on a whim and the job title stuck.

By the way, I had named the airship GSV Saucy Minion, but everyone just called it airship. It was still one of a kind in this world.

When we arrived in the launch area, Palo greeted us by removing his face mask; a red-and-yellow full mask with flaming horns. Vice-captain Sunny kept her spiked sun mask on, but dropped a respectful curtsy.

Darling – wearing an orange-yellow half-mask – handed out parachute backpacks to everyone.

These were the latest, brute-force modernized versions of the crude glider kites Ivorythief and Reavertooth used when they killed Suleiman both in this timeline (at the palace of Shikivan Om) and in the original timeline (at the Climbing Fortress of Te Csji Henne).

Crys and Kimono knew what these parachutes were and how they worked because they were closely involved with the secret project to develop them, but Rain and Mirim were visibly confused about the strange backpacks.

“Ladies, allow me to explain. These big backpacks are emergency parachutes. Pikatrate seamstresses have been needling away day and night to create them and we’ve done jump tests in the old slave tower for months. The latest tests have been pretty promising, so we’re going to throw them straight into real action. Now, look carefully: put the backpack on like short pants, then tighten the shoulder straps and thigh straps. Make sure both pairs of straps are tight enough, but not too tight to cut blood circulation. If there’s an emergency high in the sky and the airship falls quickly, you can jump over the taffrail and pull this handle on the side. The ring is released and the backpack bursts open, and it expands into a large cloth canopy above you. It slows the fall due to drag like an anti-sail. Basically, all you need to know is that if you fall or have to jump from the airship, pull the handle and stay in a relaxed x-pose like this when you fall. This is still an experimental product and doesn’t work perfectly, so you’ll probably get bad bruises on landing, but you’ll stay alive at least. Isn’t that right, captain Palo?”
“Yes, Seer! Most captured enpicis survived the fall from the top floor of the slave tower alive with this latest model, yes!” (Palo)
“Yup. Technical details aside – Rain and Mirim, I’d like get your approval to use the code name ‘Lightburner’ for this model version.”

Rain and Mirim immediately stopped inspecting their parachutes and looked at me with a serious expression.

“Ah, I thought about naming these parachutes in honor and memory of you late brother Lightburner, who was, uh, a living parachute in his own way... Are you two unhappy if we start using that name?”

They were silent. Did I make a mistake?

“Was that a bad idea? I remember him only from the lore, so I don’t know how his skill worked in practice other than, you know, like, he had to do different poses and gestures in the air to slow down the fall...”

As I was explaining my reasons, Mirim walked over and hugged me.

“Thank you, big brother.” (Mirim)
“Um… You’re welcome. You like the name?”
“Yes, very much.” (Mirim)
“Good. Good. No hugs from Miss Rain?”

Rain turned away, but I didn’t hear the usual tongue click of disapproval.

“We can use his name? Are you fine with it?”
“...It’s fine.” (Rain)
“Thanks, Rain.”

Yosh, emotional manips done successfully.

Nice and gentle flight weather with moderate rain expected after we leave moorlands.

“Kurdt didn’t come out to say his goodbyes? He hasn’t seen any weird dreams about Reignland lately?”
“No, I don’t think so. He was invited to Pikatrate by princess Achlop, to visit their hot spring.” (Mirim)
“Understandable. Achlop keeps shipping Kurdt with the court ladies. That’s fine and all, but make sure Kurdt doesn’t get carried away with his dreamspeak.”
“I’ll do my best, brother.” (Mirim)

The airship was ready for take-off. We climbed in the gondola and took our seats.

Darling – one of the reliable second-year students of the orphanage school in the anime series – sat next to me and stared at my flagstaff through the wide eye slits of her half-mask. In her game wiki page, Darling was described as 'dark tomboy wearing a cheerful mask'.

“Yep, it’s a Sultanate flagstaff taped to my hand.”
“There’s a weird aura around it.” (Darling)
“Oh, you can see auras now, Dar? Is it some kind of colorful cloud, or evil purple flames? Have you awakened a new mystical ability to see item auras?”

Darling tilted her head, contemplating my questions.

“No, I don’t see those kinds of things. It just feels... I don’t know... an inspiration? I was just thinking it would look pretty if you put some kind of broken circles in the middle around your hand, maybe three of them like in a basket-hilt sword, and maybe a large-eyed owl with tassels at the top, and maybe a hollow spearhead at the bottom.” (Darling)
“Okay, well, your artistic visions are always wel– no, please don’t touch the staff. Nothing personal, I’m just kind of worried that people are trying to yank if off my hand.”
“I wouldn’t do that!” (Darling)
“I know, I know. Nothing personal, like I said… Hey, how about you draw a picture about this artistic vision of yours and I’ll promise to take a look at it next time I visit the orphanage school?”
“Yes, I will!” (Darling)

Uh oh. Did I accidentally trigger another death flag by making a promise?

Nah, it’s just superstition. Everything will be fine.

“Captain Palo, remember to stay below the clouds! We don’t want to trigger a wild Rukhkh-bird encounter above the clouds.”
“Yes, Seer!” (Palo)

As the ground anchor was released, the airship shot up fast. I waved to Mirim.

“See you in a month!”

Up and away, to the pirate’s cave.

---

Chain Islands, a group of high islands surrounded by low cays and islets.

This archipelago was technically part of the Sultanate and ruled by governor-sheriffs, but in practice the real rulers were pirate lords and sea tribes. The appropriately named North Sea of Peace was peaceful mostly because no normal ship wanted to sail there, and pirates had to leave their safe coves to attack ships or ports to acquire loot.

Another reason for the name came from the fact that outlaws and castaways of society were often able to find a permanent hiding places from these islands. In the anime, Caliph Tze eventually conquered, colonized and destroyed these islands with his forces after too many refugees from Mu Continent ended up escaping his ever-tightening grip, but that wasn’t an issue in this timeline.

The largest four inhabited islands were called Remnant Island, Demon’s Bowl Island, Isle of Portalauren and Isle of Everywhere. Other points of interest were Khaldikes Seamountains, Placers of Star Island and the submerged ruins of Tencorral City.

And quite a bit further to the south, among dangerous atolls and underwater sinkholes, was an uncharted artificial island created by Strangers: Psikir Island – the birth place of Dancer and his self-destructive tribe.

Many moons ago I had an argument with Crys if we should contact the other psikirs and take a few of them to use as weapons. I was vehemently against “taking people” and “using them as weapons”, obviously – that’s the kind of crap Caliph Tze pulled in the original timeline after arkont Tikano found the Psikir Island.

I wanted us to do better and be better. Leave the Psikir Island tribe alone, we don’t need another dude who dances himself to death. The Flame Tank, airship, Rainwoman and dynamite are already enough.

We did visit Psikir Island briefly back when Dancer was still alive, when we did our preliminary round with the local pirate lords. I wanted Dancer to see his birthplace at least once. Unfortunately, Dancer was simply disappointed by his humble roots. I guess he expected something flashy, like long-lost royal ancestors or heroic family tales after living the life of a ‘hallway lord’ in the Starfish Mansion for a while, but Psikir tribesmen were just small-scale rattan and manioc farmers, raft craftsmen and seaweed collectors.

Aside from people occasionally leaving the Psikir Island to explode in solitude on nearby atolls, and some half-submerged pre-Strangers era temple ruins deeper in the island center, there was nothing particularly interesting. The tribesmen welcomed one of their own with a feast, but Dancer just looked embarrassed and tried not to retch when eating the celebratory porridge from a wooden bowl.

We left the Psikir Island without staying a night.

Sorry, Dancer, you weren’t secretly descended from royalty. You were just an NPC sidekick.

Anyway, these old island-slave colonies were far away from both Sultanate and Caliphate corelands, so the governor-sheriffs never had enough men or resources to stabilize or control the area, and since the islands were of low strategic importance to both sides, the Sultanate officials were forced to work with the pirates and overlook their crimes. Those officials who were foolish enough to attempt to establish dominance died under mysterious circumstances.

The pirate gangs usually settled on raiding the northern coasts of both continents, robbing merchant ships and burning fishing villages, and sometimes smuggling people or goods as a side hustle. They rarely sailed down to southern seas since because that area was a hotbed of Caliphate warships; the rewards down south were higher, but the risks of getting sunk by warships were considerably higher as well.

However, since Operation Reignland required sailing down to the very heart of Caliphate, hard protests from pirate lords were expected. They didn’t want to rock the boat and wreck their profitable businesses at north. But talking to every wannabe-pirateking wasn’t necessary because convincing only one powerful pirate captain was enough: Captainess Drue the Miserable, the leader of the Pirates of the Rose and Sun.

Drue wasn’t high on any wanted lists, but she was one of the top pirate lords. A neutral NPC who (depending on player’s actions in the area) turned either into a powerful background-assist character or a boss-level enemy.

Only a few trusted Revolution Movement members knew the full plan; the rest had a vague understanding of the general plan and received further instructions on need-to-know basis. And the rest... well, we simply placed the pieces the game board as necessary. Captain Drue was one of the key figures I had to take out of the freezer and throw directly in a hot frying pan, but she accepted the job even in the anime when everything was shaky and improvised, so I was fairly confident that our current plan would get her on board.

Drue was a tall, dark-skinned woman who wore a red coat and a red eye patch, carried a rapier and a revolver, and created improvised sea shanties at the drop of a hat. She was an unique, memorable side character. According to her background lore, she came from a nomadic sea-tribe called Windsmen, the “people who lived with the winds”. Their small tribe had always opposed Strangers, Sultanate, Caliphate and all other kings and emperors simply because countries usually tried to forced everyone to live in one place and address. Due to that, offering a helping hand to a bunch of revolutionaries (and to the nomadic king of an itinerant court) wasn’t displeasing to captainess Drue, although becoming permanent allies was out of the question.

Speaking of her whimsical personality, Captainess Drue improvised a new song almost every day based on some event she had experienced during the day, sang it to the crew, and then forgot it. Only the catchiest and funniest improvised songs were remembered by the crew and became local hits that were repeated and sung together in times of revelry and debauchery.

Some of her most memorable songs were Drunken Pirate Lost His Legs At The Black Coast, Amaryllis The Elderly Prostitute and I’ll Throw Your Monocle In The Ocean If You Keep Touching My Ass You Blind Bastard. In the game, these songs were just generic BGM melodies during sea voyages, but in this world I was curious to hear the actual (probably obscene) lyrics.

Maybe I should delegate a task of collecting these musical compositions into a song book for future generations to some young revolutionary.

---

When we boarded Captainess Drue’s flagship Seven-Pointed Windrose, we were met with a new song made on the spot:

“They came from the north with their weird words, but no scurvy no longer bothered the crew! They came for Spial Ys and released the men, and the pains stopped right there!”

Drue’s crew – muscular men wearing yellow bandanas, most of them – sang happily together with their captain.

Choir music was a cheap pass time. It probably strengthened their bonds as shipmates.

“Thank you for receiving us warmly even on such a short notice, captain.”
“Aye, Mad Seer! You’re not getting my ship surgeon today either!” (Drue)
“I’m not here for him. I already found another promising candidate to saw off my leg in an emergency.”
“Isn’t that nice? Hou, so, what brings the Mad Seer to the ship of the Pirates of the Rose and Sun this time? Just passing through and exploring again? Is that thing wrapped to your hand a gift for me? A polearm?” (Drue)
“No, this is just my walking stick – well, to tell you the truth, I have actually reached the higher evolutionary realm and learned the Heavenly Ten Foot Pole Technique during my long isolation training in the mountains. Now I am finally ready to enter the wide world of Mu-Ur martial artists to battle against the strongest opponents and teach them the folly of opposing our ancient heavenly demon techniques.”
“Ooh! I don’t like the smell of lies on those words!” (Drue)
“You should hear my next words then–”
“Captain Drue, we have come to make you a profitable proposition.” (Crys)

Crys cut me off before I could continue my random jianghu fantasy banter.

“Crystal Pencil, huh? And Dragon Kimono behind you, as expected. All of you mad dogs of revolution have come again with your fancy words and manners of old families.” (Drue)
“Well, Crys and Kim may have noble blood in their veins, but I’m just a lowly content creator from a niche neighborhood.”
“Hah! If it weren’t for that secret cure for scurvy you brought to us last time, I might have thrown you all off my ship! But such a stupid thing to die from, and such a simple cure!” (Drue)

Drue spat on the deck and then stared daggers at Rainwoman, who stood silently behind us. Rain was wearing a hooded, open raincloak similar to mine, but you could see the black trench coat, black leather boots and black leather gloves underneath – as well as six Caliphate army revolvers strapped on ammo belts like Blackbeard’s flintlock pistols, and two more revolvers on her hips.

It was rare even for me to see Rain in such high-level wargear. She looked like she was ready to take on an army by herself.

Obviously both intimidating and exciting sight for this wild Captainess.

“You must be the rumored war-witch Rainwoman! Haven’t seen your kind here before, but I’ve heard the songs minstrels sing on dry land. A cursed woman of stormy weather is a woman to my liking! How about joining my crew? I’ll make you my vice-captain!” (Drue)

Rain didn’t answer or greet Drue. She glanced at the dozen whistling crewmen around with an annoyed expression; they had been whispering dirty jokes among themselves while hanging from the riggings since we came aboard, but when Drue addressed Rainwoman directly, their voices immediately became louder.

“My boys are too rowdy for you, huh? Haha! Forget my offer then! One woman in the ship is already cursed enough, we don’t need more bad weather! Speaking of that, Mad Seer – are you going to tell me which one of my men is the traitor?” (Drue)
“A traitor?”
“The spy you have slipped into my lawless crew. The letter you sent before contained some very personal information. Which one of these villains ratted me out?” (Drue)
“Oh, no, there’s no spy in your crew. Hundred percent no to that. I gained my secret knowledge about you from my mystical future visions. With my special skill I can see hidden details over vast distances in time and space. The things I wrote in the letter were mere specks from the mountain of information contained in the Akashic records beyond this world.”
“Haha! Clairvoyancy, huh? That doesn’t sit well with me, but so be it! Doesn’t matter to a pirate who sings, we all sail in the same ship still, haha!” (Drue)
“Thank you for understanding. Speaking of singing, it is a well-recorded fact that music and piracy go well together. Just don’t tell the corporate overlords, they’ll force you to pay millions in imaginary damages for using their secret songs without permission.”
“What’s that? Another crazy prophecy from Mad Seer?” (Drue)
“Oh, don’t mind it, just an inside joke. You need to keep a fresh sense of humor to stay sane in an absurd world, aye?”
“Didn’t know you were a jester as well! So, can this far-seeing jester foresee the weather for today? Is it a good day for a round of water jousting?” (Drue)

The pirates rarely sailed far from the coastline because open seas were risky – not only because Caliphate warships sailed on open seas but because the weather and currents were unpredictable, and uncharted routes were full of hidden shoals and rocks.

“Meteorology is not my strong suit, but what I can foresee for sure is that it will start raining soon, if we stay too long in the same place. Other than this inevitability, it is best to leave predictions to your experience since you are one of the most skilled chara– captainess around.”
“Trifling flattery!” (Drue)
“And when it comes to playing mini-games, Kim-chan here is completely OP in water jousting. However, we don’t have time for that. First of all, here’s a detailed map of the eastern coast of Mu with all towns, villages, Caliphate outposts, navigable rivers and hidden harbors marked.”

I casually took out and rolled open a partial copy of my hand-drawn world map.

“...Oh, that’s quite a beautiful map! My, what exceptionally detailed penmanship!” (Drue)
“Thank you very much. How about we move into your cabin to take a closer look and talk about the details before it starts raining?”
“Trying to invade my cabin already? Hah! At least tell me why you are really here first!” (Drue)
“It would be best to not have too many eyes and ears around.” (Crys)
“Or maybe there are too many hands to stop you?” (Drue)
“If we wanted to cut you down, your limbs would be already cold.” (Crys)

Sigh. Same old status games again. Either Crys doesn’t know how to talk to strong women or strong women immediately sense that he looks down on them.

Let’s pull out some more bargaining chips from shoulder bag as a diversion.

“Speaking of throwing hands, captainess, here is a curiously named item called Lightstone of Light. It is made out of dungeon crystal. A continual light should be very useful for night operations. And here is a Strangers artifact called compass card, a more reliable device than the compass windrose you have on board because this always points to the true north instead of approximate north. It is also unaffected by magnetic materials in its vicinity. I can borrow this compass card to you, but only for the duration of this voyage. However, you may keep the Lightstone and a copy of the map afterwards.”
“Hou…! A dungeon light and a new windrose? How many high nobles are backing you?” (Drue)
“I understand your surprise, captainess. You’re probably asking yourself: why do we trust you this much and bring you such rare gifts, even though it’s only our second meeting, not to mention after such a long time? The answer is apparent: it’s because I am the Mad Seer. I know you very well and I know that you are not only one of the most skilled captains around, but also the most trustworthy captain around. I trust that you will agree to our proposition when you hear the full details.”

Drue smiled, then laughed in various tones like she was singing.

“Magnificent treasures and lavish praises, you sure know how to treat a woman! Perhaps your words are not mere flattery but you honestly believe them! Very well, I accept that trust! Bosun, tell our lovely cook to bring out the good plates and goblets, we’re not eating hardtack today! Can’t replace stomach with your back, hahaha!” (Drue)
“Seafood, let’s go!”

I looked at Crys and gave a quick thumbs up.

---

One of the common mistakes in maritime art was that painters didn’t actually know that much about sailing or ships. For example, while a painting depicted ships traveling forward in full sail, the flags of the ships flew backwards. The effect of the direction of the wind was a simple thing to miss, even if the effects of the position of the sun has for shadows was a routine.

That is to say: I was a landman, not a seaman. I didn’t know much about oceanic navigation using positions of stars or patterns of waves. So instead of simply trusting my spotty game knowledge, I decided to keep my amateur mouth shut and let captainess Drue use the advanced tools I had in my possession for their full effect.

“By the way, you will get a similarly detailed map of the Ur coast after the voyage, presuming we return safely and our leader Sorry Man is happy with your conduct during this mission.”
“Well, well, well! I feel there’s a new song in the air!” (Drue)

Detailed maps of continental coastlines were already great enough reward for Drue to take the risk of sailing all the way down to Reignland.

She sang another song after the meal, although it wasn’t completely original – the lyrics were based on an ancient legend called The Treasure of Captain Alphons. I was surprised that Drue knew about the legend of Alphons, although the song she knew told only the first part of the story; the part about a simple boy finding a treasure and a wishing well; a story of great luck followed by greater luck. It was probably an ancient song from the time before Strangers, from the time when the third continent Le still existed and ancient sailors could bring tales and songs from there.

I should start documenting these old songs and tales somehow. The oral traditions on these islands could shine some light into the deep mysteries of Mu-Ur world.

“What do you say, farseer? You seem to like my song!” (Drue)
“Eh, no comment.”
“Hahaha! You’re not jolly at all!” (Drue)

Drue accepted her role in our plan, but when we told her the details about smuggling an airship into the heart of Caliphate, her songs became less jolly. Her Seven-Pointed Windrose was not a ro-ro ship and this wasn’t a simple carry-and-dump operation. We had to fly our airship perpendicularly inside the flagship, disassemble the airship on deck, sail to Reignland undetected, and then the crew would have to assemble the airship clandestinely at the final destination, the reservoir harbor of Sun City.

“Even for these wonderful maps, that operation is quite a challenge. How close to the Warship City we are sailing?” (Drue)
“We can’t fly to Mordor directly because they have already developed anti-air gunpowder weapons. But disguising this ship to look like a neutral merchant vessel is easy, and because I know the flag codes and routines of both Sun City and Kraton Prevails, a simple merchant ship can surely travel down the canal. Then you can just make an announcement to the harbormasters about a dead body onboard, a suspected victim of scurvy, and they’ll immediately guide you to a month-long quarantine in the middle of the canal. A perfect setup, works every time.”
“You sure you know all their flag codes?” (Drue)
“All of them. And you know what? I’ll throw in a full list of flag codes as an extra payment. You can sail directly to Kraton harbor, if you want, and sail out with a new barquentine if you’re willing to risk it.”
“You sure know how to tickle my feet, crazy prophet! So be it!” (Drue)

Then again, sometimes it wasn’t the painter’s fault that the flag flew backwards. Maybe the admiral who had ordered the painting insisted that it had to be painted like that:

“We must see the flag!” (Admiral)
“But it goes against the wind.” (Painter)
“I don’t care, we must see the flag!” (Admiral)
“I could paint the ship from the side.” (Painter)
“No, we want to see it coming towards us! And we want to see the flag!” (Admiral)
“You ordered a realistic painting.” (Painting)
“We must see the flag!” (Admiral)
“My fellow painters will laugh at me.” (Painter)
“Are they the ones paying? The flag is paying!” (Admiral)
“Future generations are going to call me a bad artist.” (Painter)
“Future generations want to see the flag!” (Admiral)

And so on.

---

While we were settling in our cabins and preparing for a night, captain Drue appeared to my doorway wearing a long gray gown.

“Mad Seer, you have an exceptionally clean and smooth skin. The skin of a noble-born lady who has never worked the fields. How old are you really?” (Drue)
“Twenty-seven or so.”
“Come to my cabin.” (Drue)
“I appreciate the offer, but I have a girlfriend at home.”
“She’s not here. We’re heading to dangerous waters tomorrow. You should take what the world offers before the depths take us.” (Drue)
“Sorry, I still have to decline.”
“Pirate’s cunny ain’t good enough for you? You nobles and your delicate noses, gotta smell like soap and perfume to get it up, huh?” (Drue)
“Sorry for being a picky eater.”
“Hahaha!” (Drue)

I’ve been getting more and more of these suggestions from women lately. Am I in the popular phase of my life? Do they somehow sense that I’m in a relationship? Do I look more manly and self-confident after the glitch?

“Fine then, I’ll wash my holes!” (Drue)
“No, really, I’m flattered by your offer, but no means no.”
“Tch, you’re not fun. Say, how about those young ones who steer the weird airship? That one with a spiky yellow mask is a boy dressed as a girl, isn’t he?” (Drue)
“Sunny wants to be a girl, let her be. Don’t harass any of them, Rainwoman will flip out if you get too touchy.”
“Hahaha! But you better lock your cabin door, my men might sneak in for a bite of that pretty girlskin, hahaha!” (Drue)

Drue went away laughing.

I overdid it. I accidentally took this encounter into a dating sim territory and raised her affection level too much.

Well, crisis averted for now. Maybe I should take a pointer from the orphanage school fashion trends and start wearing a repulsive mask at work.