Isekai Speedrun

On a narrow road cutting through the thickets and hillocks of the Cursed Forest, two muscular men named Koslem and Toppar stood with their custom revolver rifles at ready. Their early morning guard patrol had just been interrupted by an unknown hooded man approaching down a hillside.

“Stop! Do not come any closer! Show your face!” (Koslem)
“Oh, it’s me, it’s me.” (Thiefmaster)
“Passphrase!” (Koslem)
“It’s me, Casper Odilon Rockman.” (Thiefmaster)
“I don’t know your name! Passphrase!” (Koslem)
“Passphrase, is it? What was it again?” (Thiefmaster)
“Stay where you are, do not move! Show your face!” (Toppar)
“...Oh, from the mountains will the cold wind come.” (Thiefmaster)
“Intruder, get on your knees and throw down your weapons!” (Koslem)
“Oh, that was not the correct one? How embarrassing, how bad at guessing am I?” (Thiefmaster)

After a short firefight, there was one survivor: Thiefmaster. He casually collected the revolver rifles from the ground and admired their impeccant craftsmanship.

“Ah, what fine weaponry for such a weak men. What were you doing here, hmm? What kind of place are you protecting?” (Thiefmaster)

Thiefmaster’s fingers stopped. He turned his head left and right, listening attentively.

“Come out! I do not appreciate eavesdropping!” (Thiefmaster)

Two masked teenagers hiding nearby on a higher ground launched themselves into panicked run, one heading northwest and the other one east.

“Ah, they were really watching. Hmm, two people running in two different directions. It seems I’m getting closer to a place of interest. What I should I do, what should I do... Surprise visit seems impossible, if these slaves reach their masters.” (Thiefmaster)

Thiefmaster raised his new rifle and aimed at the back of the zigzagging runner heading east, but decided not to shoot.

Thiefmaster circled the bodies on the roadside and pondered the situation.

“Should I follow one of the runners or keep following the tracks south? Oh, why it is that I cannot split my body to three... Ah, but what is there to think? I’ll just follow the one – no, I see how it is now. Very clever! Both runners are trying to lead me away from their main hideout. Surely this road used by a vehicle heavier than horse carriage must lead to... or is it a trap, perhaps? That would certainly be interesting. Oh, are there no other light-footed spies listening my soliloque? Anyone? It seems not.” (Thiefmaster)

On a whim, Thiefmaster launched into a sprint and followed the runner heading east.

---

Orphanage School was a large three-storey building resembling a haunted mansion in the middle of the Cursed Forest. Only one narrow road lead to the front yard covered with rough gravel.

Magic Word and Snowstone, brother and sister from the Slave Towers, had their own room on the third floor of the mansion. It was usually the oldest students who lived on the third floor or in the attic, while younger and newer students lived on the second and first floor. Although most of the bedrooms in the house were spacious enough to accommodate at least dozen people, newest arrivals often slept in closets or hallways because older students wanted to keep their rooms to themselves.

“Brother, have you heard about the seven mysteries?” (Snow)
“The seven mysteries of the orphanage school?” (Word)
“No, the seven mysteries of the seven leaders!” (Snow)
“Who?” (Word)
“The leaders, the founders! Sorry Man, Rainwoman, Crystal Pencil, Mad Seer Speedrun, Dragon Kimono, Mirim and Test Subject.” (Snow)
“I haven’t seen any of them.” (Word)
“Don’t start lying first thing in the morning!” (Snow)
“Shouldn’t there be more than seven, like Dancer and whatever?” (Word)
“That was before! Now there are only seven mysteries!” (Snow)
“Fine, I'll ask. What are the seven mysteries?” (Word)
“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you!” (Snow)
“...Get out.” (Word)

Magic Word sat by the window and wrote the first lines of the day into his notebook slash diary. Snowstone kept doing pirouettes in the middle of the room while holding a small round mirror. She kept making faces while admiring herself.

“Aah, I want to become a full member soon and ride with the founders!” (Snow)
“You’re never going to become a full member. You don’t have the guts.” (Word)
“I think the secret requirement to become a full member is to kill a sheriff.” (Snow)
“There are no secret requirements. They just look at your face and see that you don’t have the guts.” (Word)
“What if you have to solve the mysteries first, and then like whoosh, you become a full member?” (Snow)
“What are you even talking about? Stop saying dumb things.” (Word)
“If you don’t about the mysteries, tell me that story about history again, Wordy-Wordy!” (Snow)
“I’m busy.” (Word)
“Then I’ll tell it myself! Thousand years after the old ones left and the land was covered in snow, and what happened then? It turned into a place too cold for seeds to grow. Only small people survived, short people, because they were the offspring of the Founders. They wore red coats and red caps, they were called elves. They hunted big, hairy animals on the icy steppes. The elves shred the fur with iron shovels and revealed the red meat underneath. Half of the fur was already grated, the red meat was fresh. How?! The animal is still alive, it tries to open its eyes, it stands up, it bellows desperately! One of the elves rushes to kick the animal in the face with a shovel –“

Magic Word stood up, grabbed a pillow and threw it at Snowstone’s head.

“What is this tripe that you constantly churn out of your mouth?! First, you’re telling the story completely wrong, and secondly, you get stuck on paltry details, and third–” (Word)
“Who is at fault here?! I said you need to tell the story!” (Snow)
“No!” (Word)
“Why?” (Snow)
“I already said I’m busy.” (Word)
“You’re not busy, you’re just writing and drawing!” (Snow)
“That’s it! Get out of my room!” (Word)
“This is my room too! What are you writing? Show me!” (Snow)
“No.” (Word)
“I’ll just peek a random page quickly-jiggly, ah, right there! Geneviewe Convention, Jankibansho, Rhönrad–” (Snow)
“Oi, give it back!” (Word)
“Hey, Wordy-Word, are you writing down things Mad Seer said when he was here? Are these the seven mysteries?!” (Snow)
“Give it back and get out! I'll slap you!” (Word)
“Are you two fighting again?” (Dryghten)

Dryghten (also known as Witch) opened the door without knocking, walked in the room and sat down on Snowstone’s rope bed. Dryghten was eating black bread with cheese, and on her left hand she held her face mask: the face of Dulkarnon, the green horned god.

“Don’t come in without knocking, stupid Witch! It’s one stupid thing after another with you idiots from sunrise to sunset!” (Word)
“Good morning, Dryghten! We were just talking about the seven mysteries!” (Snow)
“Shouldn’t there be more than seven?” (Dryghten)
“That’s what I said, but Wordy said there’s only seven!” (Snow)
“And now she’s lying again.” (Word)
“If you ask me, I think you have to reach a certain level before you can know the mysteries. And then another level to be able to answer them. Then you need yet another level to meet the founders, and another more to train with them.” (Dryghten)
“What the hell is this conversation?” (Word)
“I’ve met Mirim, so I should know the answers! She’s so lovely, that eye patch makes her so handsome!” (Snow)
“I saw Rainwoman here once. And Dancer came here once too.” (Dryghten)
“You’re so lucky, I didn't see them! I wish I could see Mad Seer and Sorry Man...”
“We’ve met Mad Seer Speedrun multiple times, fool! We met him two times before we even came to this place! At the Slave Towers!”
“Ah, that’s right! I’ve seen Mad Seer at least three times! Two times there, and once or maybe four times here! So I should know the mysteries already, right?!” (Snow)
“Witch, tell this idiot to get out. And stop dropping bread crumbs on the floor, Cleaner doesn't come clean our room.” (Word)
“Did you eat morning soup already?” (Dryghten)
“No.” (Word)
“We ate already! The soup was really good!” (Snow)
“By the way, did you know? I heard a rumor that even the people who have visited the secret dungeon haven’t seen Sorry Man.” (Dryghten)
”Listen up, idiots. Sorry Man is just a rumor, an illusion. He doesn't exist at all. He’s just a scarecrow to scare and confuse people. Crystal Pencil is the real leader, I'm sure of that.” (Word)
”But Cleaner-Goby has met Sorry Man, right?” (Dryghten)
“Yeah, he told the story! He's proud that he lost a duel!” (Snow)
”Yes, we’ve all heard his ridiculous fairy story. Do you really think Sorry Man beat Cleaner in a duel without lifting a finger and made him his subordinate? Cleaner is clearly in the scam, he's lying like everyone else.” (Word)
“They wouldn’t lie like that!” (Snow)
“They would lie exactly like that. Especially to you.” (Word)
“I’ve seen many high-level members and they are definitely strong. I think Sorry Man is the strongest, but only other strong people can see him. Have you ever seen a real king or queen? It’s like that. You can’t see the ones at the top, but they exist.” (Dryghten)
“I believe it!” (Snow)
“Get out, both of you! Spread your stupidity somewhere else!” (Word)

Magic Word sat back down and opened his diary again.

“There must be more to becoming a full member. Maybe Crystal wants to see you kill a sheriff.” (Snow)
“I think Mad Seer Speedrun makes the decisions. Plum Leaf said Mad Seer can read your face like an open book. He can read your past and future from your scars and bruises.” (Dryghten)
”That’s right! Mad Seer can predict the future because he's mad! That’s an answer to one mystery!” (Snow)
”Stop being ridiculous, both of you. The only way a crime lords can predict future is by saying ’this person will die in an accident soon’ and then one of his underlings goes out and makes it happen. The prophecy fulfills itself.” (Word)
”But he came to the Slave Towers back then and told us many things!” (Snow)
”Coincidences, lies and tricks.” (Magic)

Magic Word looked out of the window and squinted. There was a figure standing in the shadows of the treeline right outside the front yard.

Magic Word immediately felt in his gut that the figure was an enemy; a strong enemy. He remembered something Mad Seer Speedrun had told him before – that he was born with an unique special ability called Danger Sense. Speedrun instructed him that he should cultivate and develop this subconscious ability consciously to level it up, but Magic Word was skeptical about both his explanation and his reasoning behind it. However, looking at this unknown figure in the shadows, he felt sick and wanted to escape immediately.

Magic Word closed his notebook, closed the window curtains and grabbed his bag.

“What are you doing, Wordy?” (Snow)
“If you two refuse to get out, then I will.” (Word)
“Eh? Where are you going?” (Snow)
“Somewhere where you two are not. Backyard forest.” (Word)
“Wait, I’m coming with you! Are you coming, Dryghten?” (Snow)
“Are you going to eat morning soup for the second time?” (Dryghten)
“I don’t know, maybe?” (Snow)
“Well, if you two don’t, I will. It's good. It’s better to eat while the cauldron is still warm.” (Dryghten)

Magic Word stepped in the hallway and was about to slam the door shut behind him, but then he stopped and took a deep breath.

“Snow.” (Word)
“What’s with the sudden name-calling?” (Snow)
“Do not tell this to anyone. We will have a secret meeting in the backyard forest.”
“Eh? Secret meeting! Hey, everyone! We’re having a secret meeting in the backyard forest right now! Pass this on, Dryghten, secret meeting!” (Snow)

While Snowstone started knocking on random doors, Magic Word walked at the end of the hallway and opened a window giving east.

---

Thiefmaster examined the facade of the orphanage school building. He could see some movement in the windows and hear muffled voices, but he couldn’t see any obvious traps or guards around.

“They must have noticed me by now. Why no guards or alarms? Do they trust the simple traps set outside the yard so much? Oh, somehow I doubt this is the right place... Is this truly a trap? If that is the case, a direct approach might be suicidal...” (Thiefmaster)

Thiefmaster.grinned at his own words.

“Let's approach directly then! Show me traps you have prepared!” (Thiefmaster)

Thiefmaster hurried over the front yard like a maniac, shot the lock on the front door with a rifle and kicked the heavy door off its hinges while dropping the rifle and drawing his revolvers at the same time.

He saw two people standing in the entrance hallway: a young female and an older gentleman.

The older gentleman immediately took cover behind a settle next to a wall and drew his weapon. The young girl threw herself in the nearest room on the right.

“Thiefmaster!” (Cleaner)

Cleaner-Goby hip-fired his revolver first, but the bullet hit the frame of the front door. Thiefmaster laughed and took cover behind a corner recess.

“Oh, what do we have here? You recognized me immediately even with this mask. Do I know you from somewhere? Your face seems familiar, but not from those wanted posters. What’s your gang sign?” (Thiefmaster)
“I am the guardian of this place! Leave immediately!” (Cleaner)

Cleaner understood that he was in a bad position. Most orphanage students were currently eating breakfast in the dining room located at the end of the hallway right behind him. He had to earn them enough time to escape, if nothing else.

“Oh, that heavy northern accent in your voice, I remember now! Shadow assassin of the western territories, Gobyrdine The Cleaner. How interesting! Who do you work for, have you infiltrated the Revolution Movement? Wait, don’t tell me – you’re not here as you were before, not as an assassin or spy. Your troubled demeanor is not an act. You are seriously trying protect this place like a sheriff. How amusing! Why is a man of your quality working for the Revolution Movement and following their laughable manifesto? I’m curious!” (Thiefmaster)
“Because I lost.” (Cleaner)
“Ah, a duel? Of course, a duel! Of course that would be the reason! That’s how your people are! You respect that ridiculous code of purity and honor, you follow the ancient ways of sword and shield! The victorious party dictates the rules for the losing party. You submit your life to the winner if they don’t kill you, that foolish concept!” (Thiefmaster)
“A wise person once told me that it’s a common thing in distant lands for an enemy to join the winning party after losing a duel. The name of this custom is shonen trope.” (Cleaner)
“What a strange land that must be! Were you also promised fertile lands beyond your imagination after death like they promise to believers at the Green Mountain?” (Thiefmaster)
“There is nothing else. I was ordered to protect and maintain this place, assassinate all intruders and keep the hinges greased. That is all. Turn around and leave, master of thieves! Do not interfere, and you may live!” (Cleaner)
“Ha! That Sorry excuse of a Man sure has collected a group of interesting underlings! They actually trust you and allow you to do this and that? And you trust them in turn? The Revolution Movement is full of naive fools, it seems! Perhaps I will join these fools myself, perhaps I will follow your example! Yes, I should join as well, wouldn’t that be exciting?” (Thiefmaster)
“After everything I’ve experienced here, allow me advice you on that notion: if you do not leave, it would be wise to lose on purpose and pray for your life.” (Cleaner)
“Oh, surrendering is the topic of this discussion? What a fine idea from an assassin! Yes, perhaps I will surrender! No, perhaps I will run away, and join them wearing a disguise later!” (Thiefmaster)
“Throw away your weapons and surrender, Thiefmaster. Your fate was sealed when you attacked a place they hold close. The victorious ones will find you.” (Cleaner)
“I see, you are trying to buy time for them! The order to protect this place comes first, the order to assassinate intruders second. I already doubted this is the true base of operations for your masters, but it is now confirmed. Perhaps this is a halfway house – no, a training ground, is it? Where are the small rats here trying to escape to? Is the true fortress underground or deeper in the forest, or must I truly force myself to wander in the cold rains of Löonois?” (Thiefmaster)
“You must go through me to enter the hidden dungeon.” (Cleaner)
“Ha! You have already failed in your task by readily revealing your orders!” (Thiefmaster)

Thiefmaster leaped over the hallway and rolled through the door into a side room.

Cleaner clicked his tongue, turned around and rushed into the hallway behind him.

“Everyone, run! Follow the escape plan! Thiefmaster is in the house! Follow the escape plan!” (Cleaner)

The dining room was already empty when Cleaner got there. He felt relieved for a second, but then he heard screams from upstairs and cursed himself.

---

“Wordy, did you hear someone screaming downstairs?” (Snow)
“Be quiet.” (Word)
“Are we going to the attic? Eww, there are cobwebs!” (Snow)
“Shut up, we’re going down the balustrades.” (Word)
“To the roof?” (Snow)
“Down and to the forest, like I said.” (Word)
“Hey, are we running away from something?” (Snow)
“No, I’m leaving because I’m bored.” (Word)
“You’re not going anywhere without me! Let’s hide in the attic!” (Snow)
“Attic is the most boring part of this boring house.” (Word)
“Let’s hide to the roof like bats!” (Snow)
“Do you even have working ears in your empty head?” (Word)
“I have at least million ears and they all wiggle!” (Snow)

Magic Word sneaked out of the window and landed on a lower roof section.

“Wait for me, bro-bro!” (Snow)
“Be quiet!” (Word)
“Then help me down and I’ll shut up!” (Snow)
“Hey, are we all going somewhere?” (Scent)
“Word, is there a meeting? I’m coming too!” (Skywolf)

Students gathered and followed Snowstone through the window.

“Are we going north?” (Snow)
“Stupid. The plan was to leave the rest of the students to slow down the enemy and you ruined it.” (Word)
“Mirim said there’s a swamp there, we haven’t seen the swamp yet.” (Snow)
“I’m not interested in swamps.” (Word)
“South then? We can go to the beach.” (Snow)
“Be quiet.” (Word)

Far in the forest behind the orphanage school, the ragtag group of students stopped near a groundwater spring. Most students from the third floor were present: Magic Word, Snowstone, Dryghten, Scent, Sun’s Girl, Darling, Skywolf, Oracle, Silver Tongue...

“So what’s this secret meeting about? Who called it?” (Scent)
“Brother Word is guilty! He called this secret meeting and he needs to explain!” (Snow)
“There’s no meeting, idiot. It’s a secret. You should all go back to the house.” (Word)
“Everyone quiet down, this is a secret meeting!” (Snow)
“What’s this about, Word? Serious explanation.” (Silver Tongue)
“Fine. Listen up, idiots: Thiefmaster is in the house.” (Word)
“Our father is here?!” (Snow)
“I said Thiefmaster, the dangerous one from the wanted posters.” (Word)
“Our mother?!” (Snow)
“Be quiet, fool. This secret meeting is not a secret meeting. We’re leaving the house. First floor idiots can stay in the house as sacrifices, they’ll slow him down while we escape.” (Word)
“That’s hard, that’s hard! We need to grab our weapons and fight like wolves!” (Skywolf)
“This is why you are fools and idiots! You’re just going to die if you try to fight Thiefmaster. None of us are a match for Thiefmaster. Do you even read, do you even see? Right now those other idiots in the house are already screaming and dying. You should just bow your head and thank me for saving your useless lives!” (Word)
“Where are we running this time? No-Lands?” (Snow)
“He will lose our tracks when we cross the swamps.” (Word)
“Eww, I’m not going to the swamps!” (Snow)
“We’re heading northeast.” (Word)

Suddenly, a sound of heavy motorized vehicles echoed in the eastern side of the forest.

“Do you all hear that or is it just my ears?” (Silver Tongue)
“Are those mining carts?” (Snow)
“Cars, stupid, not carts.” (Word)
“Our cars?!” (Snow)
“The timing is too good, too fast. They must have followed Thiefmaster already.” (Word)
“Aa! Is mistress Mirim coming?! Let's go back!” (Snow)
“I don’t know who’s coming, idiot! If it is just Mirim, she can’t win.” (Word)
“There’s at least two vehicles.” (Scent)
“...It should be them then. With all the precautions and warnings they’ve made about Thiefmaster, they wouldn’t bring weaklings.” (Word)
“Could it be that Sorry Man himself is coming?!” (Snow)
“The Founders are coming! They are coming, let’s go back!” (Skywolf)
“No, this could be Thiefmaster’s ploy. We’re going to the swamps.” (Word)
“Let’s go help the founders! Everyone, let’s go!” (Silver Tongue)
“Fight! Fight! Fight!” (Skywolf)
“Idiots, you cannot help them! You're weak and stupid! There are not enough guns here to kill Thiefmaster!” (Word)

Magic Word’s words fell on deaf ears. Most students started heading back to the orphanage school.

“This is so idiotic. Stay hidden, fools! Do not become targets! You're just stepping stones to Thiefmaster!” (Word)

Magic Word felt a water droplet hit his cheek. The warm morning sun was disappearing behind dark clouds.

“Come on, bro-bro! It’s going to rain!” (Snow)
“Do not go anywhere near Thiefmaster! Hide in the bushes, do not look at his eyes!” (Word)
“Oi, are you coming or going?” (Snow)
“Use your head, stupid! Of course we’re going back! You can run to your stupid swamps alone!” (Word)
“You're the one always yapping about swamps and swamps! I’m going back!” (Snow)
“If I say you run, you run! You don’t say a single word from now on, understand?” (Word)
“Yes, I won’t understand!” (Snow)

---

Two Strangers vehicles appeared from the forest and stopped right at the edge of the front yard.

Thiefmaster watched them from the second floor window and smiled. He had captured four young students and forced them to stand outside the window, on top of the front veranda, as hostages and living shields.

“Oh, there you are! Come, strongest of the north! Show yourself, you who have hunted me so long! Here I am now!” (Thiefmaster)

Magic Word and Snowstone, together with other third floor students, spread out in the bushes around a toolshed on the southern side of the mansion. They had armed themselves with flintlock pistols, crossbows and other old weapons that were stored in the toolshed.

Crystal Pencil and Dragon Kimono stepped out of the first Strangers vehicle. Crys was holding a dynamite stick and Kimono carried a vampire rifle.

They didn’t attack. They crouched behind the vehicle and waited for something.

“What is this hesitation? Are they not going to shoot him?” (Word)
“Well, he’s standing behind hostages.” (Snow)
“They have accurate Caliphate rifles, just shoot through hostages, idiots. Every smart person would shoot him through hostages.” (Word)
“Maybe they want him alive?” (Snow)
“No... or do they? Do they have a reason? It can't be.” (Word)
“Hey, aren’t I smart for figuring out the reason?” (Snow)
“You didn't figure out anything! Never give good odds to an enemy, never give them time to heal; even Mad Seer said that. Why aren’t they following their own rules?” (Word)
“No one is stupid enough to follow rules.” (Snow)
“Be quiet, fool!” (Word)

Mirim and Rainwoman exited the second vehicle, and then Speedrun stepped out holding a staff.

“Oh, there’s Mirim and Rain and Mad Seer! Look, Mirim’s not wearing her eye patch! Her eye is red! It's red, Wordy!” (Snow)
“Stop rolling around, he'll see us!” (Word)
“Why is Mad Seer holding a wanderer’s staff?” (Dryghten)
“Because he’s a stupid person.” (Word)

Behind the second vehicle, Rainwoman and Mirim brought Sorry Man out of the vehicle and sat him down on a wheelchair.

“Who’s the cripple then? Is that someone Thiefmaster knows? Was this an exchange of hostages? Why aren’t they attacking?” (Word)

While others stayed in cover behind the vehicles, Mad Seer Speedrun walked proudly in the middle of the front yard and raised his flagstaff.

“Thiefmaster! I have come as promised! I challenge you to a cycle of seven duels!” (Speedrun)