Chapter 30: Slumber Party (Also, Dream Cinema)
Calming down Selene takes way way way longer than I imagined. Actually, I cheated. Sorta. Well, I wanted to blatantly cheat first, but then realized that mind-reading magics is one of the disciplines I haven't actually read much on, in no small part due to data on this being rare and watched. I mean, I could have possibly scienced it myself, but... yeah, well. I need some kind of official post to gain convenient access to ethically acceptable test subjects, because I'm pretty damn sure my first few attempts at telepathy will end up in targets going insane or a'splode. So no magically calming Selene with magic.
In the end, I ended up taking her back to my room and asking the girls for help. Which, somehow, turned into a pajama party (with Bridgit helpfully escorting Selene to her room and back to collect the necessary garments, while I coopt Moon Unit's help to quickly get some coffee and snacks together), Selene, had, thankfully, run out of tears after telling in great detail just how awful everything was.
"Come on." - I object lightly - "I just removed a palm's worth of skin from Ed's head, and you healed it right after. While the royal physician oversaw the whole process. You had king give you personal thanks, even."
"Yes, yes, but... just... ugh." - Selene objects - "I mean, I'm glad Ed's going to be fine, and I guess it was really the best method to help him, but... I just don't like blood, OK?" She shudders and clutches her shoulders, prompting Moon Unit and Bridgit to put arms around her and leans on. She visibly appreciates the support.
"Blood is awful." - Bridgit mutters softly, and I'm suddenly reminded she was actually there to see her father murdered. And that was pretty bloody. And she was sorta there when I did pretty nasty and bloody shit to Klaus and his cronies. Which leads to me hugging all of them. And if I cheat a little and stretch my arms out to make it a proper hug, well, who's gonna tell?
"Well, look on the bright side." - I remind them - "Everything's getting better now, and we can sleep in tomorrow."
Moon Unit smiles - "Oh, speaking of sleeping in." She leans over to me and whispers - "That matter you asked about? I think there's no real difference how many people are brought in, only that they must all be with me or with the target." I have had asked Moon Unit about the specifics of dreamwalking, and she promised to doublecheck before telling me for sure. She apparently has a bunch of elven texts she's referencing when she does rare elven magic. Wise of her, I would say, some reference is better than blindly pawing around hoping for a miracle.
It takes another hour and a bit of pillow-fight before we're ready to sleep. Bridgit has, by now, grown completely at ease with Selene and stopped trying to deal with her "with respect noble lady deserves". Admittedly, she switched up to being cute huffing at all of us for "not giving station any consideration". Then I end up making her blush like a tomato by retorting I don't see her any less noble than any other in our group.
Pro - I have three girls to cuddle.
Con - I can't actually fondle them, because Selene will freak out.
Pro - Hugs are OK and so are kisses so long as I remember not to try frenchkissing Selene.
Con - Now I'm thinking about it.
Pro - Selene actually gets pretty giggly and blushy when she sees me making out with the other two.
Con - Still think she'd be better off as Ed's wife.
As I see Bridgit and Selene fall asleep, I exchange quick glances with Moon Unit. "Let's grab them too?" - I suggest - "The target will be Lemand, as we discussed. Can you stuff everyone in my dream? It would be easiest if I have control of environs." She nods and grins, leaning in to kiss my lips softly.
"No problem." - she whispers back - "But it'd better be something magnificent that you want to show."
Now that I'm paying close attention, I can see her spell actually kicking in. I... think I can theoretically imitate it. But doing so would require growing a secondary brain with very... peculiar structures that... yeah. Let's set this off as a long-term research project for later. I'm not really in a hurry to shape parts of myself into imitation elven brains and all.
___
"Holy fucking shit." - and this is Selene's opinion as we all pop into a dream. Since all four of us are in the same spot, we pop in together, all sprawled on a huge couch in front of the biggest TV screen I've ever seen. She looks around, sits up, pokes herself, pumps her arm - "Fuck yeah, lucid dreaming! Now let's do this thing!" And before I realize what she's talking about, she grabs ME by the lapels and eagerly sticks her tongue into my mouth. Gah, warn a girl or something!
Pushing Selene away lightly, I shake my head at the twin gasps from behind. "Selene, this is actually a SHARED dream." - I tell her, and she goes from pouting to mortified in a drop of a hat. A minute later, I exchange bemused glances with my lovely harem and poke the shoulder sticking out from under the pillow, which Selene is using to hide her head under. "Come on out." - I tell her - "It was an honest mistake."
"....UUUU.... So embarrassed." - she whines, lifting the pillow in front of her just enough to peek out and see Moon Unit and Bridgit sporting bemused smiles -"I'm sowwy."
After a bit, we're sorted out. Since this is a dream based on my memories, I took the liberty of imaging properly comfortable pajamas for all girls. We're going to be inviting a guy to be here, so coverage is essential. On the plus side, putting everyone into kigurumis was sufficiently amusing and distracting. I'm a mouse, Moon Unit is a badger, Bridgit is a shark and Selene is a tiger. Now, we're sufficiently prepared for... Oh, wait. We all turn to see Lemand entering the room. He is completely bewildered. And wearing a luxurious man's pajamas I totally cribbed off my internet memories for looking like a complete smoking suit. Despite being pajamas. Complete with matching fez.
"I... ah.. beg thy pardon miladies. I appear to be lost... and I think I am also dreaming." - he stutters.
"Hello, Lemand. Yes, you are dreaming. Come have a seat, we have something to show you." - I tell him, and he approaches, dazed and confused.
"Lady Gillespie?" - he questions numbly - "Lady Selene? Mo... I mean, Lady Lux? What is going on? How are you all in my dream? Why are you dressed so strangely?"
Selene snickers - "Vah, is this the first time you ever had a naughty dream, nerd-boy?"
I shake my head at her. "Selene, be nice." - I admonish - "What if you make him faint from embarrassment? Or worse, give ideas none of us are interested on actually following through on? No one likes a tease."
She pouts. "Fair enough." - she grumbles - "Sorry, Lemand. If it helps, we're all aware of ourselves and won't do anything weird to ya, so don't worry." She turns to me - "So, Alyssa, what are we going to watch? I assume you have a show planned, with the TV on the wall and everything?"
Three heads pop up curiously as Lemand, Moon Unit and Bridgit hear the unfamiliar word.
"Alright." - I sigh - "Introductions first, I believe. The gentleman over there in the chair is Lemand Lamarchand. Me, who is dressed as the mouse? Alyssa Gilespie. Next to me is Moon Unit, who carries no second name by elven traditions but might claim Lux as one, if she so wills, dressed as a badger, Bridgit Baumhoff, who is dressed as a shark and Serenity Selene, who is dressed as a tiger. Since this is a dream, we're going to leave the titles in the waking world and just call each other by name."
Selene raises her hand - "Actually, can everyone call me Selene? My foster dad thought "family name" is what family calls you and I'm more used to being called Selene than Serenity."
Lemand raises his hand too - "Lady Gille...." He trails off as I glare at him, swallows, then continues - "Alyssa. What exactly is going on? How are we all in the dream, and why me?"
I nod to him - "Pertinent question. The short answer, Lemand, is that I want to show you something. You had been looking into certain magical configurations recently. While enchanting is a good venue to focus your attentions into, and a pretty profitable one, I wanted to warn you off from trying to mess with dimensional enchantments too much. And in order to do that, I am going to show you a story of people who tried, and what came out of it."
Selene suddenly connects the dots. "Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait... Lamarchand? Box?... Oh shit, shit shit shit!" - she jerks up, stabbing her hand in Lemand's direction - "Did you try to figure out LAMENT CONFIGURATION!?"
He reels back from the sudden scream, while I bap Selene on the forehead - "He thought about looking into things that eventually lead to that. I'm going to show him why it's a fundamentally bad idea."
She slumps. "...Yeah. Well. I guess." - she finally admits - "Pinhead is gonna be... a warning. So..."
I grin and raise the remote to the TV. It lights up, and everyone's attention turns to the "magical" show.
___
I got bapped with pillows a lot by the girls. The common consensus was "That was absolutely horrifying, why did you make us see that?!" Including Selene. Apparently, while she heard enough about the series, she never watched the first movie herself. Lemand, meanwhile, is in utter shock. He is STILL sitting in the chair staring numbly into white noise on TV, his fingers clutching the chair's arms so hard his fingers had gone white. He is, apparently, suitably impressed on the horribleness of idea. Admittedly, he had no option to hide his head in my side like the rest of the viewers. Something girls had resorted to more than once. Again, including Selene.
In the end, in order to unfreeze Lemand and assuage the rightful wrath of the girls, I have to resort to Disney's bounties. The story of Robin Hood quickly gets me back into good graces as all of them happily squeal over Robin and Marian getting their happy end. More importantly, Lemand starts blinking about half-way into the movie and more or less comes back into his senses.
"...This is true, isn't it?" - he whispers to me as the cartoon ends - "If I start looking into Configurations, I risk inviting those demons right in."
I shrug - "Potentially. It's not a sure bet, but they are insidious. For now, you know what to guard against. If you ever get an inexplicable urge to start looking into it again, despite the warnings, tell me. Those things sometimes have a nasty habit of sticking around and bothering people with ideas long past usefulness of doing so."