ALL NOVEL Chapter 8
#34
I lived a trashy life.
-by Lee Joonu
…It’s the worst.
The reason I’m lying in bed, unable to get up since morning, is because I’m thinking about the line from “No Longer Human.”
It’s because I had that kind of dream with Han Seo-ah in it, and the self-loathing that followed was no joke.
Was it because I went to bed without watching those girls on the screen yesterday?
In 13 years, I’ve never had a dream like that about Han Seo-ah, and now I can’t believe it happened today.
— Ah, strawberry scent.
As I lay there, tossing and turning in self-pity, the faint remnants of Han Seo-ah lingered.
Suddenly, it became clear why I had that dream, and I remembered what happened during yesterday’s Lucky Vicky, glancing at my precious partner, my right hand.
That kind of dream.
It was sweet as honey.
In an instant, every situation started to make sense, and I began to accept it.
Thinking back, it was weird that I didn’t have that dream until now.
I’m not in the wrong— I comforted myself, and as my mind cleared, I jumped out of bed, stretching to wake myself up.
I’m a coward.
But I’m no fool to let opportunities slip away.
For some unknown reason, Han Seo-ah’s attitude yesterday was clearly different from usual.
I couldn’t overlook it.
I’ve watched her for 13 years.
I didn’t quite understand what kind of change was happening in Han Seo-ah’s heart, but if…
If you want a change in our relationship.
If Han Seo-ah is different from usual today.
I had no intention of letting this opportunity slip away, not even a tiny bit.
Childhood friends.
It’s a sweet word that expresses the precious bond that has connected us all this time.
But, at some point, I’ve wanted more than just that.
#35
Before making the call, I took a deep breath.
I promised myself that things would change, but now that it came down to it, I wasn’t sure how to proceed.
If I just approached her suddenly… would she feel burdened?
‘Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?’
‘Joonu, it’s so awkward.’
‘So you’re just like every other guy.’
‘Joonu, did you look at me that way?’
“Whoa…!”
Imagining Han Seo-ah pushing me away with a cold expression and all sorts of words left me in shock.
This isn’t good, is it?
Wouldn’t I be happy just being childhood friends with Han Seo-ah…?
♪♬♪♬♪♬
While holding my phone and thinking of 64 ways to seduce Han Seo-ah instead of making the call, my phone suddenly rang.
[ㅎㅅㅇ]
Has it already been 10 minutes?
I was supposed to wake her up at 7, but I didn’t even notice 10 minutes slipping by as I was deep in thought.
— Today’s off to a terrible start.
Sighing, I answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Euhh… Joonu, why didn’t you wake me up…?”
Still half-asleep, Han Seo-ah’s little whiney voice was so cute that I couldn’t help but laugh.
— She’s really something.
Imagining the scene where she called my name the moment she woke up made my heart feel all fuzzy.
I wanted her to only show me this side forever, wishing that only I would see it.
“Sorry. I woke up a while ago, but I had something to take care of for a moment.”
“You don’t need to apologize… what were you doing?”
It was nothing much.
Even while being sleepy, you were paying attention to what I said.
“I’ll tell you when we go to school later. By the way, you’re not crying today? Did you sleep well?”
“….”
“Han Seo-ah?”
I could hear her tiny sniffles but got no response. Wondering if she had fallen back asleep, I quietly called her name.
“Euh… I slept well. I was scared before sleeping… but now I’m okay because you’re here.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I didn’t know why, but hearing Han Seo-ah’s voice, which sounded like she was holding back tears, made my heart race.
I didn’t want to make her cry first thing in the morning, so I answered playfully, and maybe she sensed my feelings because she responded with a slightly brighter tone.
“Joonu, did you sleep well? You were tired yesterday.”
“….”
I slept extremely well.
— Because you were in my dream, and we did those things—
But I couldn’t say that outright.
“Yeah, I slept super well. It was amazing.”
“Really amazing?”
“Yeah, really amazing.”
You could say it was the best of my life, dream-wise.
“Did you have a good dream or something?”
“Sorta….”
Well, a naughty dream is still a good dream, right?
“Eh, what dream was it?”
“………. Secret. Can’t tell you.”
I can’t tell you for my whole life, even until I die.
“Aw, come on… can’t you tell me?”
“Nope. Hurry and wake up. Wash up and let’s meet in front.”
You brat.
Whether she meant to or not, her cute voice made me almost spill my intentions, but I managed to hold back and changed the topic.
“Okay, but you have to tell me later.”
“……. I’ll go wash up too. See you later.”
I felt like today’s morning commute wouldn’t be easy.
#36
“Haah…”
This is tough.
Meeting Han Seo-ah at the front of my house and going to school together is such a happy thing, but keeping the secret from her while she keeps asking me what dream I had is not easy.
Especially when she looked at me with hollow eyes, asking if I had a dream of another girl, I thought I might die.
I managed to keep the secret and finally arrived at school, collapsing onto my desk out of exhaustion.
“Did you come?”
“Why are you like this as soon as you arrive?”
While I was sitting like that, the two fools, Ugly 1 and Ugly 2, approached me.
“What do you know, geez….”
“Look at this punk being all grumpy from the morning.”
“Wanna die?”
Even when they were talking nonsense, I responded nicely (I didn’t), and all I got back were dumb remarks.
That’s why I couldn’t respond kindly to those guys.
“Don’t even talk. I thought I was dying the whole morning.”
“Why? Didn’t you walk to school with Han Seo-ah?”
“This bastard, Lee Joonu, is getting cocky. Want to walk with Park Jae-hwan instead?”
“Why is Kim Seung-hyun suddenly hitting me?”
Seeing those two bickering about how much they disliked each other was so absurd that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Hey, hey. You’re both the same, so stop fighting.”
“This punk’s the worst.”
“Is this guy insane?”
Both of them slapped my shoulders and just flopped down in the seat beside me.
“So, what happened on the way to school?”
I hesitated when the two of them looked at me, seemingly wanting me to spill the beans.
No way could I say, “I had a dream about Han Seo-ah,” right?
“Didn’t this punk have Han Seo-ah in his dream or something?”
“No way. He’s been calling her just a friend all these years.”
Gulp
When Kim Seung-hyun casually threw that line, I involuntarily flinched and felt the sudden brightness in the eyes of those two punks.
“Hey, he flinched. No way?”
“No! Wait, it’s not like that—”
“Hey! Han Seo-ah! Lee Joonu is right now—”
“Aahhhhh!!!”
Thud!
When Park Jae-hwan stood up and called Han Seo-ah, I instinctively threw myself to cover my mouth.
“Wuuuuuuup!!!”
“Damn, this isn’t good…! Can you please shut up?!”
One looked as excited as could be while the other one just kept snickering, making me genuinely want to pound them to the ground.
“What’s going on? What’s Joonu talking about?”
Before I realized it, Han Seo-ah had approached us, looking puzzled.
Oh no, I messed up.
#37
In the end, I had to promise them that I’d treat them at the school store in exchange for keeping the secret.
Of course, when Han Seo-ah retreated with a suspicious look and said, “Joonu, see you later,” it sent chills down my spine.
But since the three of us said no, she seemed to decide to step back for now.
“You little bastards…”
Seeing those two giggling and munching on their bread made my anger flare.
“Hey, if you keep talking like that, my mouth will just open up again.”
“Sorry….”
“Ugh. Just stop it. If a girl like Han Seo-ah thinks of you as a childhood friend, that’s understandable.”
Hearing Park Jae-hwan, I felt like throwing a punch, but Kim Seung-hyun’s words calmed me a bit.
“To be honest, it’s hard to believe Han Seo-ah just sees us as friends after 13 years.”
“That’s true. Come on, you’ve gotta be a little cute to stay friends.”
“…What do you guys know? I’m going through a hard time, you jerks.”
Maybe it’s because of the change in feelings.
Until now, I always insisted we were just friends, but now that I’ve spilled my honest feelings…
“Wow, did you just hear what Joonu said? He finally admitted it, finally.”
“I thought I was hearing wrong. Wow, it feels great that you admitted it.”
“But honestly, isn’t there a chance for Joonu? I’ve never seen Han Seo-ah talk to any other guys.”
“Come on, it’s not like that. The chances are pretty high. Han Seo-ah has serious walls up. With me and you as friends, she exchanges a bit of words, but with others? Ugh…”
“That’s true. I still find it a bit tough, though.”
While I listened to their chatter, my phone in my pocket buzzed.
I checked it, keeping the two fools as a backdrop.
[ㅎㅅㅇ]
— Joonu, where are you?
A message from Han Seo-ah.
— I’m at the school store with Seung-hyun and Jae-hwan. Why?
— Oh, you went to the store? Can you buy me a banana milk? (With a rabbit heart emoji)
How come she’s so cute just by sending a message?
— Sure, got it.
Putting my phone back in my pocket, I said to the two fools in front of me.
“Yo, you guys go up first.”
“Why?”
“Han Seo-ah asked me to bring her a banana milk.”
It was obvious they’d cause a ruckus, but I turned and ran without waiting for their reply. I could barely hear their curses behind me but lightly ignored them.