191-A Brother's Burden
“Look, no. I cannot-“
I let out a silent sigh as I looked at the eyes of the children standing on the edge of my desk. They were open wide with anticipation. They couldn’t be older than 6. Too young to face this world alone. I gently lifted the loosely knitted flower crown, being extra careful so that it wouldn’t fall apart, and put it on top of my head.
“Thank you. It is beautiful.”
I poked the cookie-filled jar.
“But I can’t accept this. A commander cannot eat before their soldiers eat. So, why don’t you guys do me a favor and give them away to those working?”
The younger of them looked at the older one and I gave the older one a nod. He picked up the jar and both of them made their way to the door. Just as they were about the exit, the younger one turned back.
“Thank you for helping us to see our mom, hero!”
A quick flash of pain rose from my throat but I managed to hold on to my smile.
“You are welcome. Listen to your older brother, okay?”
I made sure that they were gone before covering my face with my hands and screaming.
“Are you okay, your majesty?”
Thalia who was standing beside me since morning asked. I told her to sit down maybe 10 times but she refused every time. I have met with many leaders making their subordinates stand up to fulfill their power fantasy but I wasn’t one of them yet she refused to sit down.
I sighed, pointing to paper and pencil on my desk. I could only able to write several sentences since I kept being interrupted by beastkin coming here to thank me and give gifts of gratitude.
“I just want to finish my job. I understand everyone is emotional because they got to meet with those who passed away but I didn’t do anything special, Ancestors did.”
Thalia approached me with a smile, carefully tightening the flower crown.
“But you were the one who asked them for it. You sacrificed your chance to acquire a great power and wealth to allow those people to say goodbye.”
I met her blue eyes, seeing how much love and admiration they held for me. It was kind of suffocating really. I sighed once again.
“Morrigan should have taken advantage of it by claiming that it was her doing. It would have put her in a better position when then the other beastkin parties arrived.”
I puffed a strand of hair falling on my face.
“But it would been a lie. The fact that your companion didn’t tell a lie when doing so would been to her benefit speaks much to her character.”
She said while pulling hairpins and adjusting my hair. Normally I don’t like being touched but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy a beautiful woman pampering.
Guess that’s where Gökbörü takes from.
“Politics and honesty don’t fit well.”
I muttered, mostly to myself. Thalia must heard it and would have replied but a knock turned both of our attention towards the door. Thalia took a step back, quickly returning to her formal stance.
“You may enter.”
I gave permission with a loud and clear voice. One of the Amazons entered the room.
“A beastkin wants to see you, your majesty. He says his name is Eluton.”
At first, I was like not again but Eluton? Maybe he finished making a sword out of Nidhogg’s fang I sent him?
“Send him inside.”
The Amazon nodded and left the room, her footsteps echoing down the hallway. I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. The children’s visit had stirred up a lot of emotions, and I needed to refocus on my duties.
Eluton entered the room and he looked way thinner and stressed out than before. Well, experiencing a demonic invasion and learning the man you called skinny is the Champion of Aliera does that.
“Yes, Eluton?”
He avoided eye contact, his eyes darting all around to room. Was he really that afraid of me holding grudges? I mean, yeah, I was spiteful but I wasn’t a low life.
“His majesty has a lot to deal with, blacksmith. Speak your mind.”
Thalia demanded with an authoritarian tone. It was both funny and surprising how quickly and drastically her tone changed when she wasn’t talking to me but it made sense. She was a head priestess after all.
“I… I lost the fang you sent me. I am really sorry. I will pay back to you no matter what!”
Nidhogg’s fang was lost? I stared at Eluton, my mind racing to process what he had just said. I took a deep breath.
“It is okay. It must be destroyed during the invasion.”
It sucked especially since Nidhogg’s body all disappeared but nothing can be done. People lost their lives, homes, and livelihoods during the invasion. I would be a bastard if I cared about something like that.
“No. Some of my items were damaged but they were still there. Only it was missing. I think someone stole it.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“So only it was gone…”
I repeated what he said.
“Yes! I searched every inch of the rubble! I know all of my crafts like the back of my hand. All of them were still there! I knew how valuable it was so I was extra careful with it.”
I touched my chin. With William and Regal behind the invasion, I had every reason to suspect foul play. But why?
“It is okay Eluton. You don’t need to worry about paying me back. I am not going to kick a person when they are down.”
Eluton looked up at me, a mix of relief and guilt on his face.
“Thank you! I am taking back everything I have said about you! You are the man!”
I waved my hand dismissively. He nodded, still looking a bit shaken, and then turned to leave. As the door closed behind him, I leaned back in my chair and let out a deep breath. I looked back at the papers and threw my pencil to the side.
“I don’t think I can do any work now. At least not this kind of stuff.”
Thalia gave a sympathetic nod, her eyes showing understanding. "Perhaps some fresh air would help clear your mind, Your Majesty. A walk outside might do you good."
I stood up, stretching my arms and rolling my shoulders.
“You are right.”
As we stepped outside, the cool breeze and the sound of rustling leaves were immediately refreshing. The village was bustling with activity—beastkin and humans working side by side, rebuilding and fortifying their homes.
Artemeni and Arslan was training some beastkin. I asked her to train and install some discipline to beastkin since she had the experience and skill necessary. However, beastkin would never listen to a human, at least not now so Arslan was with her. It was actually better this way since Arslan could see and learn from her.
I watched them demonstrating simple formations and beastkin following them. The goal wasn’t to teach them but to instill a sense of unity and obedience. Arslan saw me, lowering his swords.
“Hey.”
I greeted him. Artemeni turned to me, bowed respectfully, and returned back to barking orders.
“Taking a break?”
He asked. I sighed.
“I kept being interrupted so I thought a walk would be nice.”
He looked at the distance with something clearly on his mind.
“That duel we talked about. Are you still up for it?”
I narrowed my eyes before smiling.
“If you want to get beaten in front of your comrades.”
I raised my hand, manifesting my sacred sword. Thalia clasped her hands together, probably sighing silently. Arslan looked at me, sweat dripping from his forehead. He gripped his swords tighter with a serious expression.
“I have questions. Do you think I can find answers in this fight?”
He looked at me, waiting for an answer. What was up with him? Was he again depressed because he felt he didn’t do enough during the invasion? No, he was not like this before. He started to behave like this after my meeting with Ancestors.
Could it be that seeing those passed away made him like this? I sighed and swung my sword, pushing him away several steps.
“How do hell I am supposed to know that dumbass? Those are your questions.”
Arslan stumbled back, his eyes wide with a mixture of surprise and determination. He quickly regained his balance, adjusting his grip on his swords. The others around us stopped what they were doing, turning their attention to our duel.
“What would you do if everything you knew was wrong?”
With a swift movement, he launched himself at me, his twin swords flashing in the sunlight. I parried his first strike, feeling the impact reverberate up my arm. He followed up with a series of quick, precise attacks, each one aimed to probe my defenses.
“Everything you knew isn’t wrong dumbass. The sky is blue, there are people believing you and Whifur is your home.”
I got closer to him, close enough to make our long swords mostly useless. I lowered my body and slammed my hip to his while elbowing him. It was enough to make him lose his balance but not enough to make him fall.
“Though you believing you could defeat me was wrong.”
Arslan grunted as he staggered back, quickly regaining his footing. His eyes were filled with a mixture of frustration and determination. I could tell he was wrestling with something deep within him, something that was driving him to challenge me like this.
He looked at me then he looked at the crowd. He was trying to tell something but he didn’t want others to hear. Then why challenge me in front of people, dumbass?
“Thalia, soundproof.”
Thalia nodded and murmured a soft incantation. A shimmering barrier formed around us, blocking out the sounds from the outside world. The crowd's voices faded into silence, and it was just the two of us in our isolated bubble.
“I… was a fucking halfbreed! The reason why I didn’t know my father! The reason why Regal left me! I was a fucking half-human!”
He shouted, launching another flurry of attacks, his swords moving in a blur. I didn’t parry or dodge, allowing attacks to hit my sword so he could let all of his emotions out.
“Arslan. What happened?”
I used a neutral and calm voice to ask.
“My mother. I don’t remember her well, only glimpses of us being in a cage. I met her just like all others in the mindspace. I thought she would be happy about how strong I have become. But she was furious. She told me everything. She had a beastkin husband, Regal’s father. Then humans came. Killed him, enslaved her, and defiled her! And I was born.”
He dropped to his knees, panting, his shoulders slumped in defeat. I stood over him, my sword still in hand, but I quickly demanifested it and knelt beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I thought I fought for my people. For a righteous cause! But I was…”
I squeezed his shoulder.
“Arslan. I understand. It is not easy to learn what you have just learned. But look at them.”
I pointed towards the crowd watching us. They seemed to be confused.
“Those men trust you. You fought with them, fought for them. You choose to defend them against a powerful demon. You didn’t choose to be born like that. You can’t ignore what you have chosen, what you accomplished for the sake of something you had no choice.”
He shook his head.
“If they knew who I was… Who was my real family. They would hate me.”
I sighed and slapped him so hard that my hand hurt. I shook my hand.
“Who you are? You are Arslan. Head of the city guard. A friend of mine. And your family is Whifur. It is Morrigan, Ama, Börü and all others. Blood doesn’t make family, love does.”
I stood up and manifested my sword while taking several steps back.
“Come on. En Garde. We will find what you want to know, together.”