Kiss the Ground

Lima responded with a lovely voice. Yoon Chahyun was engulfed in distant confusion as he looked down at her gentle, swaying brown hair.No… The passing woman? Yoon Chahyun recalled Misha’s awkward expression from this morning in the locker room.A passing woman. The face that desperately tried to divert its gaze from Yoon Chahyun with such nonsensical words. Because of that vague attitude and ambiguous words, Yoon Chahyun had felt so alone, banging on the drum and playing the cymbals all by himself.It made no sense. Where did that guy come up with the idea of calling his own sister a passing woman? Yoon Chahyun imagined his little sister, Chana, introducing himself to someone as a passing man. But since that scenario didn’t seem entirely impossible, he quickly abandoned that thought.“I’m really sorry. That day… you were at the café in Plumtree Court. With Misha.”“Exactly! I knew I wasn’t imagining things when our eyes met. Why did you disappear so quickly?”“Haha. I was a bit busy at that time…”Running away was indeed a failure. With a forced smile, Yoon Chahyun quickly changed the subject to defuse the situation.“I had no idea you were family. I’ve never heard Misha talk about having a sister.”“It’s okay, I assumed you wouldn’t know…”Lima finished her sentence and showed a subtle smile. Yoon Chahyun stared at those gray eyes, so similar to Misha’s.He had never even considered the possibility that Misha might have other siblings.Family. Why hadn’t he even thought about such a light yet important speculation? If he had known that Misha had a sister, there would have been no need to consider countless other possibilities.During the brief time they had spent together in the past, family discussions had not been absent between them. It was an essential topic in building a personal relationship with someone you were meeting for the first time. However, every time the topic arose, Misha avoided it with ambiguous attitudes. The atmosphere, which felt as if there were no connected strings, also contributed to blocking Yoon Chahyun’s questions.But it was also true that Misha had casually brushed aside the significant story of being estranged from his parents during the dinner with Cahill. Yet, even then, Yoon Chahyun didn’t delve into the matter, using Misha’s avoidance of mentioning more as an excuse not to pry.Now, it turned out that despite being so concerned about Misha, Yoon Chahyun didn’t even know his trivial details properly.“As you might know from being teammates, that guy isn’t exactly easygoing, you know. So I understand. He does that to me too. After not seeing each other for a while, he doesn’t even ask how I’m doing.”“I see… So, did you come here to see Misha from far away?”“No, unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to want to see me much.”Lima lowered her eyebrows in a slightly pitiful manner. Was it a joke or not? Yoon Chahyun hesitated briefly, but Lima continued speaking as if it didn’t matter.“It’s a coincidence. I work in music, and right now, I’m touring Europe. I was in the UK for just a week.”“Oh, in music…”Yeah, Misha had mentioned something like that too. Leaving home because he chose a profession contrary to his parents’ wishes. Seeing Lima with a job related to that, it seemed like his sister had accepted the profession his parents wanted. As Yoon Chahyun nodded slowly, Lima spoke again.“I’m planning to leave early tomorrow morning, and yesterday was both the first and last time Misha met me. It’s really mean, isn’t it? I don’t know when we’ll meet again.”That meant she would be leaving soon. As Yoon Chahyun recalled yesterday’s conversation, Lima continued chirping like a nightingale.“But I really wanted to see your face. Meeting you again before leaving is really fortunate. It seems like I made the right choice to pass by this way.”“I… It’s nice to meet you.”“Could we sit down by any chance?”As Yoon Chahyun nodded vaguely and approached the opposite side of the table, pulling out the chair, Lima sat down lightly, greeting him. Hong-sam, who had risen to sit, but Lima didn’t look in that direction. The dog simply wagged its tail quietly, not thinking of jumping on Lima, who had the same face as its favorite person but showed no interest. Truly, it was an observant eye that knew the way of the violets.“Is this cafe very famous around here?”As he settled back into the seat he had just tried to vacate, Yoon Chahyun decided to slightly adjust his expectations, thinking that this place might not be as quiet as he had initially assumed. It seemed like quite an unlikely place to be alone. Seeing not just one but two people meeting here… To dispel the awkwardness, Yoon Chahyun spoke first.“Why did you want to meet me?”“Because Misha had wounds on his face that I hadn’t seen before.”Lima replied promptly.“He didn’t even try to explain despite my probing. It took quite some time before I heard your name.”“…”“You were involved in the attack together? It’s a small world indeed.”The emotion in her voice wasn’t accusatory. But Yoon Chahyun didn’t even blink, facing her directly. Lima raised her eyebrows in surprise at his uneasy demeanor.“Why are you like this?”“…Those wounds, they’re practically my responsibility.”What would Misha’s family think of him? The one who nearly ruined him. Yoon Chahyun spoke as if seeking forgiveness. It was agonizingly painful, but he had to say it.“Misha wasn’t involved in the attack; he got hurt trying to protect me from the person targeting me.”“Oh my.”“It was because of me that he was in danger… I’m sorry.”Yoon Chahyun lowered his gaze under the table. He expected condemnation and reproach to come crashing down on him, but what reached his ears was the sound of clapping hands and admiration.“I see, of course! I thought so.”“Excuse me?”“The story about Misha protecting you. I couldn’t hear the exact details because he didn’t try to explain, but… It all makes sense now that I think about it.”While Yoon Chahyun was flustered by not understanding the English, Lima spoke with a cheerful expression.“I don’t know why, but he seemed almost proud of those wounds. Maybe he was satisfied with saving you. So, don’t apologize.”And she ended her words softly, as if comforting Yoon Chahyun instead. With a smile that softened his guilt just a little, Yoon Chahyun remained silent.She’s a kind person. Instead of reproaching the one who caused her brother’s injury, she encourages him.With a warm smile, Yoon Chahyun couldn’t understand why Misha seemed so hesitant to talk about his sister. Although Lima herself mentioned not wanting to see him, how could someone so affectionate and kind like Misha not mention his sister’s existence at all?Above all, what began to gnaw at Yoon Chahyun’s heart was a belated sense of self-loathing. Why did he get so irritated all by himself? Was there any need to get angry, especially at his own sister? Even if she wasn’t his sister, did he have the right to feel upset like that?Along with the rising tide of embarrassment, Yoon Chahyun tightly closed and opened his eyes. His heart pounding, Yoon Chahyun spoke out randomly. Then, the curiosity that had been lurking subtly emerged.“Um, may I ask a question?”“Of course, go ahead.”“Are Misha and you twins? You look so alike.”“Are you curious about that?”With a look of surprise, Lima took a moment before answering.“I’ve heard that question a lot, but I didn’t expect you to ask too. We’re siblings with a two-year age difference. When we were younger, the age gap seemed noticeable, but as adults, we look so much like twins.”“Oh, I see.”Yoon Chahyun awkwardly closed his mouth. He felt strange admitting to himself that he didn’t know much about Misha. But Lima, without any hint of reproach toward Yoon Chahyun, leaned closer to the table and said,“Can I ask you a question too?”Yoon Chahyun quickly nodded.“Sure.”Then, Lima’s lips parted, revealing the neatly aligned teeth like pearls. With a slightly excited face, she cupped her hands around her mouth as if what she was about to say was very secretive and important.What does she want to say? Yoon Chahyun instinctively leaned forward and tilted his head.Finally, a joyful voice hit Yoon Chahyun’s ears.“Are you sleeping with my brother?”She had a look on his face like she had just gotten hold of an exciting toy. Her gray eyes flickered strangely. Yoon Chahyun looked at his face with some distance. It was a speech that made one doubt his ears.“What… did you say?”“I asked if you sleep with my brother.”The atmosphere seemed to change suddenly. Yoon Chahyun found himself unconsciously clenching his hands on the table at the abrupt change in attitude. Without giving any room for confusion, Lima threw out the next question.“Do you not sleep with men then?”Yoon Chahyun widened his eyes and fell silent. The subtly probing tone and the intrusion into personal space were enough to stiffen Yoon Chahyun. What on earth was this sudden conversation about?Whether Yoon Chahyun interpreted his silence positively or not, Lima briefly tilted her head with a smile before slightly covering her mouth. The unexpected laughter burst out right after that.“Oh, of course! Then that’s it. I thought so. It’s really amusing.”Lima was too caught up in her own amusement to notice any reaction from her counterpart. After hearing the laughter echoing in his ears like an echo for a while, Yoon Chahyun finally opened his mouth, albeit belatedly.“Lima, wait a moment. I don’t quite understand what you mean.”“…No, you wouldn’t consider Misha as ‘that’ kind of target.”As if the laughter had been a lie just moments ago, Lima’s face lost her smile. Leaning forward with her arms crossed on the table, she scrutinized Yoon Chahyun with a cold expression.“I was wondering if you were having some personal… encounters with him. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.”“What are you saying?”“Surely, it was obvious that I was going to tell you how he probably likes you or something like that, but there’s no one who would put up with such a personality disaster.”Yoon Chahyun doubted his own ears. A personality disaster… It was a word that precisely described Misha. The person who had just been discussing affectionately about her younger sibling had suddenly transformed her tone into sharp sarcasm and condescension. What was even more piercing was the underlying assumption in her sentences — Lima’s clear certainty about Misha’s feelings towards Yoon Chahyun.That was a completely different statement from the casual greeting she had given moments ago, mentioning how her brother liked Yoon Chahyun. Caught off guard by the humiliation, Yoon Chahyun missed the timing for denial, and in that gap, Lima drove her point home like a wedge.“It’s surprising to see your face when you realize I know Misha’s feelings.”“How… How do you know?”“We spent our childhoods in the same house, so I couldn’t help but know. That kid has been obsessing over you like a stalker since then.”“What do you mean by childhood…?”The words pouring out of Lima’s mouth were all incomprehensible. However, among those countless words, there was one that sharply pierced Yoon Chahyun’s mind. Obsession, and… stalker.As if anticipating Yoon Chahyun’s mental turmoil as he pondered the truth of those words with a furrowed brow, Lima spoke in a cold voice, as cold as ice.“As far as I remember, it’s been since we were ten years old. He would spend the whole day watching games or videos where you appeared.”“Misha knew about me since then?”“Yes. Turning that pitiful prank our parents opposed for ten years into a profession was probably your doing, wasn’t it?”The nonchalant tone, as if making light of a joke, struck Yoon Chahyun’s ears. Amidst the flood of information rushing into his mind like waves, what Yoon Chahyun recalled unexpectedly was a memory from the past. It was from a year ago, when Misha first transferred to Winchester FC and exchanged greetings with Yoon Chahyun.There were only two things Yoon Chahyun remembered about that day. One was Misha’s lukewarm eyes as he looked at Yoon Chahyun, who had just entered the center’s door. There was no sign of the usual tension that new players often displayed, just a vacant gaze. And the other was the strength with which Yoon Chahyun squeezed his hand during the handshake, enough to make Misha’s hand crumple. There was no need to mention why Yoon Chahyun had crushed his hand.Nowhere in that memory did it seem like Misha had been watching Yoon Chahyun for ten years. However, Lima’s words carried an eerie atmosphere that couldn’t be denied. Perhaps it was because of their blood relation. Yoon Chahyun couldn’t ignore the cold words spoken by someone who shared Misha’s face.“But it was a good choice not to entertain that kid until now. Speaking as a relative, Misha is not a decent person.”“What do you mean?”Knowing she wasn’t dealing with a naive person, Lima answered Yoon Chahyun’s question directly.“That kid doesn’t really have emotions. He’s just like a doll someone made well.”Lima’s words suddenly left a strange feeling in Yoon Chahyun’s heart. Is she being sincere? Does Misha really lack emotions?Yoon Chahyun tightened his fist placed on the table even harder. Whether Lima failed to notice his demeanor or not, she raised her gaze and reminisced about the past in a vague tone.“Well, he wasn’t like that from birth. Mother thought it needed treatment, so we went to the hospital for a long time… Until he left home, there wasn’t much change.”“Treatment?”“Parents were worried sick. They didn’t know how much they struggled to treat a body meant for art. Eventually, their precious child is just playing around in a place like this.”As Lima finished speaking, she shifted her gaze slightly to the side. A faint emotion lingered in her trembling eyes for a moment, but it vanished as quickly as it came, as if it had never been there. It was a fleeting expression that passed so swiftly that Yoon Chahyun couldn’t even express his confusion before Lima continued with her indifferent voice, as if reading a book.“We had a dog we raised, he was very fond of it and carried it around all day. But when it died, he didn’t shed a single tear. Once he fixates on something, the obsession is intense, but in the end, he doesn’t care about anything.”Lima leaned forward on the table and lowered her voice.“It’s the same with jumping into the terrorist incident. Sacrificing himself to save you… It was probably his idea of love.”“But I told you earlier that Misha was involved in the incident.”“No, it’s an incident Misha intervened in. Thanks to him, you could feel guilty, couldn’t you?”Feeling sorry and pitiful to the point of madness? Lima said that as if she was mocking someone parched with thirst. Her words were filled with an overwhelming sense of disgust that couldn’t be ignored. How could she belittle her own brother like this? With his gaze fixed on Lima’s face, Yoon Chahyun recalled Misha’s words from this morning once again.‘Passing woman…’Now Yoon Chahyun vaguely understood why Misha had tried so hard to hide the existence of his sister. He tried to cover Lima’s presence with such trivial and meaningless information. Misha didn’t want to give him any special place.However, what Yoon Chahyun realized, halfway through the conversation, was that malice veiled in affection was lurking in every word Lima spoke.“That’s not love, it’s obsession. Mimicking something about a subject you don’t even understand properly.”It was a cold remark. Yoon Chahyun watched in silence as the other’s lips stretched into a long line. The gray eyes, shining through the crescent-like opening, briefly illuminated Yoon Chahyun in the front row, as if imparting some crucial advice, before thinning out in an instant.“So, wouldn’t it be better to draw the line before you develop any feelings? There won’t be anything good coming out of getting involved with someone like that.”Then, leaning forward and whispering distinctly:“If rejection is difficult, I could help.”The look in Lima’s eyes as she spoke like this sparkled like a child who had come up with an amusing game. A voice that genuinely sounded cheerful. It was a tone that, contrary to its apparent meaning, was detached from any concern for the younger sibling. It didn’t even seem to be considerate of Yoon Chahyun.So this was the crux of the matter. Yoon Chahyun composed himself and asked quietly,“Why are you telling me this?”“It’s not good to have innocent victims because of my brother.”Her seemingly affectionate words, pretending to be in Yoon Chahyun’s favor, were utterly repulsive. Yoon Chahyun clenched his fist under the table, reaffirming his conviction in the thoughts that had been piercing his heart all along.This person doesn’t just dislike Misha. She wants to hurt him.For reasons beyond comprehension, there was something eerie in the attitude of revealing Misha’s weaknesses and urging Yoon Chahyun to abandon him, something beyond the lack of familial affection. It wasn’t just hatred or dislike, but rather a deep, dark pit of a relationship. In that moment, Yoon Chahyun recalled Misha’s anxious voice as he looked at him, almost as if making a promise.‘Yuan, I’ll make sure you never cross paths with her.’Well, looking at the person sitting across from him at the same table right now, he probably wouldn’t just let it slide. Reflecting on that face, Yoon Chahyun responded earnestly,“No, it’s okay. Please don’t worry about it anymore.”“Why?”“This is something between Misha and me.”“What kind of relationship do you have with Misha?”That was the second question today. With a rigid face, Yoon Chahyun remained silent, and Lima blinked innocently, feigning purity.“That person has no intention of accepting him, so why not just reject him clearly? You don’t seem to take it seriously either.”“Let’s stop now. This isn’t something to discuss with others.”Lima’s words were like poison. The more you heard them, the more harmful they became. Yoon Chahyun raised his head, but the other’s raised voice drove the final nail in the coffin.“You don’t even know if he has an older sister or a twin, do you?”Then, with a subtle smile, Lima watched Yoon Chahyun’s reaction. Her words were neither sympathizing with Misha nor criticizing Yoon Chahyun’s ignorance. She simply took pleasure in pricking at people’s weaknesses and twisting situations.However, even if it was just for amusement, it was piercing deep into the depths of Yoon Chahyun’s heart. Without ever having rejected Misha’s feelings or tried to understand him properly, as soon as the possibility arose that he could be with someone else, Yoon Chahyun harbored foolish conflict. And didn’t that ultimately hurt Misha’s feelings? It was an ugly affair.But Yoon Chahyun couldn’t leave the resolution of his and Misha’s situation in someone else’s hands. Whether it was Misha’s sister, mother, or grandmother, it didn’t matter. In fact, he didn’t even want to mention it. He wasn’t here to listen to advice from someone who disliked Misha.Yoon Chahyun picked up the leash on the table. Then, politely but firmly, he said, “Where is your accommodation? If it’s not too much trouble, I’ll take you there.”“Huh? Me?”“Yes, it’s late. Of course… if you’re okay with riding in the car with the dog.”This time, Lima’s eyes widened as if she hadn’t expected that response. Genuine surprise spread across his entire face.“…I didn’t expect you to say that. It didn’t seem like you were enjoying the conversation much.”“Regardless of how the conversation went, you’re Misha’s family. It’s something that naturally has to be done.”Lima narrowed her eyes again. The keyword “Misha’s family” seemed to evoke some thoughts in her. After briefly locking eyes with Yoon Chahyun, she slowly nodded.“…Alright. Then I won’t decline your offer.”As soon as agreement was reached, Yoon Chahyun stood up from his seat. The dog, which had been lying on the floor, stood up as well, following the movements of the person rising from the chair.“I’ll escort you by car.”Holding firmly to the leash of the dog walking straight ahead, Yoon Chahyun only thought about the end of this encounter.***It had been about 20 minutes since leaving the café. The sun, already tilting since the moment of departure from home, had disappeared beyond the forest of buildings to the west. The streetlights illuminating the darkened streets cast an orange glow one by one along the roadside.Turning the steering wheel with the background sound of the sleeping dog’s breathing from the backseat, Yoon Chahyun glanced briefly at the figure sitting in the left passenger seat. It was unimaginable until this morning that he would be driving through the streets of London with Misha Asplund’s elder sister in the adjacent seat. Not to mention, he didn’t even know Lima existed.As Yoon Chahyun turned the steering wheel, he asked the person beside him, “You mentioned Queensgate Hotel, right?”“Yes, it’s on the main road, so it should be easy to find.”After the brief exchange, silence fell over the car once again. Lima had been fiddling with her phone since she got into the passenger seat, tapping away at something until now. Yoon Chahyun thought it might be for the best. There was something about conversing with her that made him lose his composure and dry up.As Yoon Chahyun drove through the illuminated streets, Lima’s words echoed in his mind. Being told to act rationally, that Misha’s feelings were not genuine but merely an obsession… that Misha didn’t know how to feel. Those sharp words, whose truth couldn’t be determined, squeezed Yoon Chahyun’s heart like a rusty machine.Rejection. Yoon Chahyun recalled the awkwardness of that word. But he had rejected Misha once before. If there was a reason why he couldn’t do it again now…“Oh, this is the block.”How Lima knew they were near the destination, Yoon Chahyun couldn’t say, but Lima raised her head and pointed outside the car window. Yoon Chahyun turned the direction towards the distance Lima gestured. For now, it was important to drop this person off at the hotel.As they parked the car inside the entrance of the large hotel, a bellboy dressed in a blue uniform approached. However, instead of waiting for him to open the door, Lima opened it herself without saying a word and got out. The astute staff member disappeared to greet other guests with a bow, but Yoon Chahyun, who couldn’t do the same, sat silently in the driver’s seat.Beyond the car window, Lima tapped the glass as if she had something to say. Her hand gestured as if she wanted to convey something.“What? Are you asking me to get out too?”