ALL NOVEL Chapter 16: Decision.
I stared at the two gates. The decision before me felt like one that was impossible. If I could really see my sister again I would give almost anything… But, knowing her, it wouldn't be long before she got into trouble again. As I thought more about it I couldn't help but think about the decision she would make, and that answer was obvious.
“If I go back and do as you say… When it's all over… then will I still be able to see my family again?”
He raised a hand to his chin. “Time runs parallel, so unless your parents both die I can't guarantee that, unless of course, you're talking about living a third life.”
He stepped up the stairs behind me. “You've come here before. Every time you do I give you this choice, and every single time without fail you choose to go back to a life filled with pain.”
I turned to face him. “Why would I do that?”
“The same reason why you don't count it as winning a game if you're not playing on the hardest difficulty. Also, the same reason that you intentionally put obstacles in your own way when challenging other people, giving yourself extra goals or handicaps…
You like challenges, you're addicted to them, and this is the greatest one you have ever faced. When it feels impossible of course you hate it, it's no longer a challenge. However, when I tell you it's within reach, and that I still believe you can do it…
Every time without fail, the moment you see it as a life filled with challenges, rather than a life filled with pain, you can't help but go back to it. When you're done I will reward you with the life I promised either way, assuming you still want it in the end.”
“It is filled with pain.”
“But can you not also see the love?”
The image in the gate changed. Shuffling through various points in my life. The guard who lent me his cloak, my father saving my life with his great axe. I saw Catherine. There was a time when I was supposed to clean out the stables, but she saw how tired I was and helped me. She ended up doing almost all of it herself.
“I-I…” I turned away. “I'm not ready yet.” I knew I had been healed, but that meant only one thing, the moment I went back and woke up, training would start again, and not just with Mara, but my brothers as well.
“You are a bear with golden fur. No one is ready for life, but that's what makes it interesting. Isn't that what you like about strategy in the first place? You never know what will come next.”
I let out a nervous chuckle, “Your arguments are weak, and you called me a bear twice now… I'm not exactly sure how to take that, but… the tea was good.”
He smiled. “The strength of one's argument doesn't matter when the target of persuasion has already made up their mind. You’re strong Siya, don't let anyone tell you differently.”
“Why would I choose to go back to a place like that?” I started tearing up with a smile on my face. I had already made up my mind, that much was true, but even after making the decision, following through with it wasn’t any less difficult.
I turned to look back one more time. The wind gently blew through his golden hair as his soft voice reached out to me. “Whatever your reason, you will go back… every time it's the same.”
“I think you're wrong…”
“Oh…?” He raised an eyebrow.
“I don't think I choose this life because I like challenges…”
“Is that so?” He slowly crossed his arms, clearly trying to appear stern. His inability to hide his smile and his young appearance both made that impossible though.
I couldn't help but softly smile back. “It's what my sister would have done.”
He slowly nodded. “You feel as though she would be disappointed in you.”
I shook my head. “No… She could never be disappointed in me. It's because…” I looked over at the gate one last time, burning my family's faces into my memory. “I always wanted to be like her.”
“How very interesting…”
Looking back, I made out a grin just before I took a single step forward and entered the gate towards the life of Siya.
…
My feet were pulled out from under me as I began to fall. Just as my head passed the ground level of the clifftop I felt another rush of wind.
I gasped for air. My eyes opened and my body ached. It was a sharp contrast between the comfort I had felt when I was with Agis.
After catching my breath, I couldn't help but let out a weak groan as I began to move. All of my joints were stiff, and my body was still exhausted.
I rolled over to my side and looked up to see my father gently holding my hand between his own. I couldn't help but smile knowing there was someone that cared about me like that.
His eyes opened softly and he looked down at me “Siya.” He let out a sigh of relief moments after saying my name. Pulling me close, he wrapped his arms around me.
“Siya, Thank you for not giving up.” Even through his rugged beard, I could see the corners of his mouth had fallen, and his eyes had narrowed. I almost laughed at his choice of words.
“I don't suppose I earned something for all that?” I tried to let out a laugh, but my voice was so dry and quiet that I couldn't even hear it.
He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. I almost expected to see him cry, but instead, upon opening his eyes I saw a wry smile cover his face. “Anything you want.”
I was so surprised that goosebumps covered my arms and my expression fell flat. “Wh-what?” I had intended it as a joke, the thought of me actually earning something seemed so unreal that I was in disbelief.
“You earned it, anything you want. Name one thing and I'll get it for you. I would slay a dragon if you so desired.”
Goosebumps spread through my entire body and I almost pinched myself to make sure it wasn't another dream. My jaw dropped as I pushed myself away from his chest to try and get a better look at his face. “Anything, you mean it right?”
His smile vanished, and he slowly nodded a moment after. “Yes, that's right.”
“Can I have…” I paused… Thinking carefully about what I really wanted. I knew he wasn't going to let me stop training or anything like that. There was really only one thing I could ask for. “Can I have some nicer clothes…”
His eyebrows moved together again as he let out a soft hum with a sigh behind it. “Yea… I'll get you something nice.” I leaned back into his arms and he wrapped his warm cloak around me. That was the first time I could remember ever losing track of time. I had expected a life of pain, but in that moment I felt nothing but comfort.