(Chpt. 30) The path that will forever close (3)
“So about business,” he said, “what services can I offer you?” Eh.
I was taken aback by his sudden question. Didn’t he suddenly try to poison me? No that wasn’t it. He poisoned me. I am poisoned. At least that’s what he thinks. From under his hood, I could see a faint smile on his mouth. I could tell. He was just waiting. He wasn’t going to attack me.
Then… I have time to think — actually think. The collector basically said. Do whatever you want. What am I going to do? I can’t afford a slave. I can’t even afford life… I know what it’s like to be a slave, I know how insufferable people are, how annoying they are, how stupid they are… Then I should kill this person… and free the slaves…
But if I do that… Will there be consequences? Can I even kill him?
I glanced back at him, he was smiling; patiently waiting for my reply, or for my death. Whichever came first. I had time… I had time…
Do whatever you want… What to do… What can I even do? Kill him — yes that sounds good… It sounds good—
Why am I? Thinking that it sounds good… I am talking about a life here and yet… I didn’t feel anything, I also didn't feel anything last time as well… Am I? Evil? No, that doesn’t make sense. I just don’t feel it, for whatever reason, but I won’t do it out of pleasure… I don’t want to be them.
“Everything okay, sis?” He asked with an empty voice — trying to worry or something.
“Ah yeah…” I was sweating. My mouth was dry. I had been thinking about things and completely forgot he was here…
“I…” What did I want? To save them. “am interested in buying.”
He thinks I am poisoned, then… it’s all a waiting game, and I… will win. I will survive in this place. Save a slave or two, save her… Whatever it takes… it will be done.
The man across me sighed. “Buying is it? You did mention it. Unfortunately, our stock is low at the moment.” He dropped his shoulders. “The guards have been going left and right, I am afraid we haven’t been able to restock.”
“So, do you have slaves to sell or am I wasting my time here?” To overcome this… I had to become the trash.
“You bet we have slaves!” the man bellowed. “It’s not a waste of time, but if you are looking for a strong slave you won’t find any in this city.”
“What do you have?” Sigh… This was mentally tiring.
“Well, there is a slight problem, sis.” He grabbed his chin as he examined me from head to toe. “All we currently have is sex slaves.” . . .
“I see…”
… So… they are girls? I think… which means… Are they on the same spot as I was? That is… unforgivable. I don’t know anymore. It’s not right — it’s definitely not right. I am… broken? No, that’s not it either… It’s not that it bothers me. Is it… disgust? Nothing really makes sense anymore. But regardless of slave; they all deserve a fair chance at life — at least that’s what I think.
“How many do you have?”
He paused for a second before looking off into the distance; at the door behind me. He raised his head along with his hand and yelled. “HOW MANY SLAVES DO WE HAVE LEFT?!”
They don’t even know what they have…
I heard some shuffling behind the door.
“Checking!” One of the guards replied. The man nodded and looked back at me.
“Well, sis. Wait for a bit won’t ya?” With no choice, I simply had to sit there and swallow my saliva. This was rotten.
I had to make up my mind; about what I would do. What was the right thing? No — that wasn’t even the right question. Right now, there is no right or wrong. In this place, it seems that one does whatever they want — stomp others with their will and get their way. It’s not about being right, it’s about believing you are right. I am right. I finally had a reason, and I was going to save her.
The silence continued for a few minutes until the door behind me finally opened.
“There is two left.” The man raised his face to look at the guard. His eyes wide in shock.
“Two?!” The guard nodded. “Fuck… Only two left?! It looks like we will be going out of business soon. Hah…” It wasn’t even funny. “Still interested sis?” I nodded. “Bring one of them here!”
The door closed.
“Sorry sis, looks like it’s a bit disappointing. I am guessing the other ones died? Last time we had four, that was a week ago… We do feed them, but I guess they chose death…Too bad.” He shrugged. I felt rage inside me but all I could do was tightly clench my fist.
“You know, business has been rough as of late. Slaves haven’t been selling as well, and getting new slaves has been getting increasingly hard.” Why was he making small talk? “Pretty annoying but there is not much we can do.” I ignored him.
I patiently waited for the inevitable. What would I have to do? Give her a cold shoulder for the sake of pretending? Promise saving her and kill the person? Why must things be so complicated? Sigh...
The door finally opened, I turned around and saw the guard walking as usual — holding a chain. It dangled and clinked with every step the slave gave. A girl no taller than me, no ears, no tail — just a normal human. She was biting her lip and had bags under her eyes, her ghostly thin arms said it all. The conditions were inhumane.
She ended up next to the man still looking at the ground. She gave me a quick look but I ignored her, I couldn’t pay her attention. The dealer gave her a quick look for whatever reason.
“Is she good, why don’t you take a look?” She gave her a little push towards me. Meekly standing before me, there she was, still looking into the ground for her demise. I wanted to tell her something, that everything would be fine, but the fear of being heard was greater. In the end all I could do was maintain a monotone expression with cold eyes as I looked at her. She had no bruises nor anything aside from clear malnutrition.
“Seems good.” I coldly said.
“Great, now onto pricing.” He sat back down, the slave simply clenched her fist. I also sat down, she remained standing.
“How much would be good? How about…” He paused. “200 Rwyd?” Eh? “No, that would be too much!” He started laughing as he stared at the slave. She was biting her lip.
He thought as I stayed silent. Until finally he looked at me.
“I don’t know.” The worst words one could say during negotiations and yet I said them.
“Hmm—
“Is that how much I am worth?” She was shaking and looking at the ground before finally looking back at me. “Tell me!” She shouted as tears started welling up on her eyes. I couldn’t help but keep my mouth shut. Not now. The slave dealer said nothing and simply laughed.
The girl turned back to the dealer glaring daggers. “All you do is blabber about how amazing you are! All fucking day long, seriously. Why do you even fucking sell slaves in the first place?! You literally don’t give a shit about us, even auction houses care more!” He paused in shock. “I just don’t get it either, two people die and yet you keep feeding us some stale bread that is inedible. Do you even care?”
He opened his mouth.
“I—
“Of course you fucking don’t, otherwise you would’ve realized why the other two people died. If you had half the intelligence of a pigeon you would understand!”
“Stop.” He coldly commanded. I could see his veins bulging.
“Stop?! Stop? You say stop and we listen, we say stop and you keep doing it?! Be obedient you say, you will get rewarded you say. HOW LONG UNTIL MY REWARD?! All you do is fucking blabber about this Gartz guy, about how useless he is and you fucking know what? I heard it. All of it.”
“Stop, I am telling you…” His voice was deep and nearly exploding. I could feel his rage.
“When he died what did you say? You fucking broke every single thing at your sight, you broke bones, chairs, windows, everything that was possible.” She turned back at me and came close to me, grabbing my tunic as if it was a plea for help — it was a plea. She had hope.
“Buy me already! I'll do anything. This person is rotten! At least you will feed me…” I didn’t react. I was too shocked by the sudden development. She retracted her arms in sadness. “Or maybe you wouldn’t feed me, just like him... Would you cry about the death of your rival as well? Everyone is just as rotten… Life is miserable. it's hopeless...” She was crying the whole time, she was already broken. The fact that Rin possibly felt like that made my heart sink further.
She turned back. “AND YOU—
“I, what?” He was already standing in front of her, with clear disgust and rage in his eyes. She paused for a moment in shock before continuing.
“ALL YOU DO IS MAKE PEOPLE MISERABLE, but I can tell…” She started laughing. “It’s pitiful, how insecure you really are. Gartz, why did you leave me? Gartz this. Gartz that. You are a pitiful human being. Poor soul.” She touched him condescendingly. I couldn’t even lift a finger before it happened.