Lemongrass – The Chaotic Life of Meadow Song

Chapter 5: Life Lessons



Turns out she wasn’t the only one thinking about that question. While we were slurping our noodles in the school canteen, a mean-looking girl approached. She had fingernails like a beast and a hairdo which probably single-handedly destroyed the ozone layer by itself. A wild lion appeared. 

“Are you the one with a thousand negative merits?” the lion growled at me.

“No”, I answered honestly.

“She has negative one thousand and fifty merits”, Rose added happily while spitting noodles.

“Rose!”

“What?”

The lion smacked the table with her paw. The soup went everywhere. “Oi, don't waste food!” I scolded.

“Are you two fucking with me!?” the lion roared.

“No,” I said.

“Not yet,” Rose smirked.

“Look, we don’t want no trouble. We just want to enjoy our food.” I tried to pacify.

Rose again couldn’t stop adding: “Speak for yourself.”

“You are not helping!”

Rose shrugged: “I only tell the truth.”

“Don’t ignore me!” The lion roared again and more soup spilled “Duel me!”

“Fine! But you have to pay for my noodles!” I stood up and pointed at my ruined meal.

“Mwine two!” mumbled Rose with her mouth filled to the brim. 

The lion reluctantly agreed. 

So much for not making enemies.

“You are strong, right?” Rose notched me on the way to the duel grounds.

“No”, I sighed.

“But you did demolish a security robot with a single punch, yes? That means your cultivation realm is quite high to have accumulated so much inner strength.”

“Well, maybe. It’s just… I’m a bio-cultivator… and I have a grass spirit.”

“Grass!?” Rose repeated.

“Psst! Don't scream it across the whole campus!” I shushed her.

Rose laughed so hard that it hurt me a little bit. “What’s so funny?” I asked

“No, I knew you were special! I knew it! But to come into Heaven’s Gate with a grass spirit!” she wiped tears out of her eyes. 

“I don’t get it,” I commented.

“Don’t worry about it! It’s an inside joke.” She said while patting my shoulder, “do you know how you beat that lion?”

“I have an idea.”

We arrived at the grounds and a lot of first years were already waiting for us. News traveled fast on campus, even faster when it involved crushing somebody. There is a sick infatuation with violence among cultivators which I never understood. I wish we could cultivate through hugging each other. I like hugs.

The sand crunched under me. Who decided to put up a sand arena on campus if we had to wear shoes like this? Ugh! Now I need to clean them afterwards.

“My name is Lessandra and I hereby challenge… You! Girl! What is your name?”

I felt so embarrassed for us two: “Song. Meadow Song.”

“I challenge you, Meadow Song, to a duel!”

There were some cheers and jeers in the crowd. Not the loudest but somehow the most stinging response was a conversation between two older students: “I hope she knows that she doesn’t actually earn the discrepancy in their merits if she wins.”

“Psst! Don’t say it too loud. It's the most interesting thing that happened this week!” A tomboy-kinda girl with short brown hair told them. How did Rose get there so fast!?

The lion, called Lessandra, got as red as a beet: “Are you ready? Let’s begin! I hereby invoke my noble spirit, the mighty Thunderhoof!”

She only could say its name before I was right in front of her and punched her without mercy in her stomach. She instantly was knocked out. The crowd was silent except for Rose’s shrill laughter.

Their shouts began as suddenly as the fight was over:

“Boring!”

“Did she say she had a Thunderhoof?”

“Show us a real fight!”

“A cultivator fights with their spirit!”

“Waste of time!”

I ignored them. No, I will not satisfy their weird perversions. I picked up Lessandra to carry her to the school nurse.

“You dare ignore your betters?” Another first-year student jumped into the arena. He was a quite dashing fellow with dark hair and swordlike eyebrows. He wore an emblem on his blazer with the Duan-Family crest. He was part of the Five Great Houses, a loose alliance between the five most influential families in the city. He drew a mean-looking saber from his back, “I said real cultivators fight with their spirits. Let me show you! I invoke you Coal Mastiff!” 

“A D-rank Spirit for a student, the Duan-Family isn’t lacking in resources!”

“D-rank, A-Rank or S-Rank. It doesn’t really matter if its user is just an inexperienced shithead”, I said to myself. I carefully lay down the peacefully sleeping lion. 

This coward invoked his spirit before I even was ready to fight. As long as I can get in melee range I can win this. Even though I had no offensive spiritual techniques, thanks for nothing, grass spirit, my body was quite strong because I cultivated about ten years longer than my peers. They generally get their first interface implanted at the age of six.

His saber ignited with a hiss and the air around his blade began to dance. He attacked with wild slashes. His moves were uncoordinated. He clearly practiced the Wild Saber of the North Star but his mastery was pitiful. As pathetic as his martial arts were, their destructive ability was without question. My wet towel couldn’t compete against his scalding hot saber.

Bio-cultivators are loathed because of their diverse abilities. Exceptional powers like divination or healing were always in demand but most bio-cultivators had such skills as finding water, communicating with animals, or making spirit food. In summary, we were absolute trash in the eyes of the cyber cultivators. Our spirits couldn’t even be ranked. That's why I could not reveal my spirit in front of the whole school. Not yet anyway. 

I kept out of his slashing range and conserved my energy with minimal movements, while he was panting like a dog in midsummer. His body could not endure the prolonged use of the heavy saber. That was my chance. I approached. He slashed clumsily. I sidestepped to the right and kicked him with all my might into his side. I felt bones breaking. His. Not mine. He fell to the ground, crying in pain.

The crowd was silent again. Once more Rose’s laughter broke it into pieces. Many of the spectators joined in her schadenfreude. It made me sick. I picked up the unconscious Lessandra and brought her to the nurse to get a checkup, this time unchallenged.

I sat there and watched the lion sleep. It was best to wait here until things had calmed down outside. Looking at Lessandra I wondered why such a clearly well-off girl like her was so desperate for merits. I don’t think she had any real intention to hurt me, not like that saber-jerk. 

A while later she woke up. After adjusting to her current situation she timidly asked: “I lost?”

“Yes, but I was unfair. I’m sorry.” I apologized half-heartedly. I really had no choice but to fight dirty.

“No, no. A win is a win. I apologize for my earlier rudeness.”

“Well, don’t forget that you owe me a bowl of noodles!”

We shared a laugh and decided to meet up on a later date. Maybe I can ask her about her merit situation. I needed to tackle mine soon as well. For now, she had to rest and I had to go home as well.

Guys - don't waste food!

RIP Noodles. You always will be remembered.

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