Level One God

We emerged from the ruins battered, bloody, bruised, and exhausted. The light seemed too bright. I was one of the last to stumble out of the second exit that let out lower in the hill.

The stairs hadn’t led back to the coliseum. They’d been a secret access path that followed an old sewer system and fed out to the hillside.

I battled the urge to turn back more times than I could count, but I knew what Circa said was true. Joining the fight against the lich would’ve simply meant throwing our lives away. She was down there fighting that thing for our sakes. Getting killed as a gesture would’ve only cheapened the risk she was taking.

Lyria came up beside me. Her red hair was clumped together with sweat. Her freckled face was dusted with blood—both human and otherwise. There were several claw-like grooves dug into her plate armor and blood dripping down one of her arms.

I realized I was wounded in several places as well. I hardly felt it.

“Did we do it right?” I asked her.

Her eyes fell. She stared down, face hard, then nodded. “We did the only thing we could.”

“Do we wait here?” I asked, looking toward the hole we’d crawled out of with a gutteral sense of dread. I knew the horrors in there, now. Any of them could’ve come rushing out of there at any moment.

None of the others looked ready for more fighting. I roughly counted and my stomach fell. So few were left?

Jarn and three guards had survived. The bald tomte, the white robed woman, and the two blonde men with bows had survived as well. There was no one else.

“Wait,” I said. “Where’s Rock? He was with us?”

One of the blonde men answered. “Said he was going back to get the woman. We tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn’t hear reason.”

“Dammit,” I said.

“We need to go,” Jarn announced, straightening himself up. There was a touch of something in his eyes that hadn’t been there before the battles. He looked haunted, but he was putting on a brave face now. “I’ll want to advise the guild as soon as possible about the threat. And we’ll need to tell the town… People will likely leave when they find out.”

“What about Circa?” I asked. “What about Rock?”

“They’ll know to find us in town,” Jarn snapped. He was already walking downhill. A piece of his armor got stuck on itself. He tried to right it, struggled, and then jerked it away in a sudden show of frustration. He slammed the pauldron to the grass. “We may be all that’s left. Standing out here waiting for that thing to come out and finish us off won’t do anyone any good. If Circa survived, she’ll find us. If not, then the gods rest her soul. She saved all of us.” His expression softened. He faced the ruins, put a fist to his chest, and dipped his forehead. “May she be remembered.”

A few others echoed the words and gesture.

“But she could be alive,” I said.

Lyria put a hand on my back, urging me along to follow with the group.

I was breathing hard, fighting back the urge to yell at all of them. I wanted to argue that they were being pessimists. She could have survived. Why were they so certain she hadn’t?

I clenched my jaw until it hurt—until it distracted me from the empty feeling in my stomach. And I decided not to mourn her if I didn’t know she was gone.

But I’d seen plenty of death in there. I’d seen enough to know what people on Eros were up against. Terrible places corrupted by dark powers. Frightening beasts that could tear them limb from limb. Impossible threats looming near their towns and cities.

I wanted to fight against it all. I wanted to make a difference. I didn’t want people like Circa feeling like they needed to put their lives on the line to protect me. I wanted to be the one protecting people.

And I could.

I had my prestige benefits ready to propel me forward. I had to believe those benefits would be instrumental, or I wouldn’t have given up so much to get them. I had to believe I knew I could use them to get back to the heights of godhood, and likely beyond.

With thoughts of power filling me and distracting me from the horror, I set to practicing. The simple repetition and focus required was numbing, in a way. It required a sort of clear-headedness that didn’t allow for mourning or worry or sadness.

I sharpened my focus to a point, and pressed it to the task.

By the time we’d walked thirty minutes, I was only thinking of my abilities. I was engrossed in trying to learn how to use my Forge Echo ability, which supposedly could summon a duplicate of my weapon for me to command. I leaned on the methods I’d used for my Elemental Projection ability, picturing my Alchemist’s Kit floating in space ahead of me.

Lyria seemed like she was deep in her own thoughts as she trudged along beside me. She glanced up at my continued efforts a few times, but didn’t seem like she was in the mood to ask. Maybe she understood it was my own way of distancing myself from what happened. Maybe she simply didn’t care.

Unlike my Elemental Projection ability, this Forge Echo seemed to work when I formed a thread-like extension of mana. I could feel it nearly working when I extended a thin strand of mana from my chest to a point I could see. With a little focus, I was starting to be able to create mostly transparent cloud-like shapes that almost looked like potion bottles.

It was progress, at least.

We crested a hill, and Riverwell came into view. The river sparkled as it cut through the little town. Lyria slowed her pace. Her face was still dusted with dried blood and dirt. There was a far-off look in her eyes.

The others in the group kept moving on ahead of us, leaving me standing with Lyria at the hill’s top.

“What will you do next?” she asked.

“Wait for Circa to come back.”

“For how long?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. How long is long enough?”

“Brynn…” Lyria said. “The kind of power those two were throwing around… The fight probably didn’t last long after we left. If Circa survived, she’ll be back within hours, not days. And no, we can’t go make sure she isn’t in there wounded. If the lich is still alive, we’d be throwing our lives away.”

I balled my fists. I knew she was right. I’d been distracting myself because my thoughts brought me to similar conclusions. If she had won the fight, she probably would’ve even caught up with us before we made it this far.

I was thinking when I noticed someone coming in the distance. My breath caught, but then I realized it was too small. It was Rock, and he was alone.

We waited silently, watching him come. He paused in front of us, met our eyes, and then shook his head. “Found her body,” he said gruffly. “No sign of the lich. I got her body outside and buried it where the lich won’t find it.” Rock pushed past us, heading for Riverwell without any further explanation.

It felt like I’d been punched in the gut. “Dammit,” I swore under my breath.

“What now?” Lyria asked.

I didn’t answer for a while. I let my feelings settle and gathered my thoughts. “We keep moving forward. She gave her life for us, so we’ll make use of the gift. Right?”

She looked slightly surprised by that. “Move forward to where?”

“I’ll go to a city where I can turn in my epic, legendary, and cursed bed tokens. I got a few other accomplishments back there, but I can get those in Riverwell before I leave. Maybe I can buy myself a Heart corestone for my second class in a city, too.”

Lyria shook her head. “Just like that? They died in front of us, and you’re going to go on like nothing happened?”

A flash of anger rose in me. “What do you want me to do? Sulk? Give up? Linger here in some misguided attempt to honor their memory? No. Fuck that.” I hadn’t meant to snap at her, and I immediately felt bad, but I didn’t take back my words. It was all still too raw. Too fresh.

Lyria stared back at me for long enough that I imagined she was getting ready to scold me for snapping at her. Instead, she nodded. “Alright. Then I want to come with you.”

“What?” I asked.

“I just got a front-row seat to what happens if you settle for being ‘strong enough’. Maybe I’ll think about pushing myself a little harder. If I can do that while helping a supposed god do great things, then all for the better. That’s why I joined the guard, anyway. I wanted to help people. And I’m starting to think that’s what you want, too.”

The burden of Circa already weighed on me heavily. I knew she’d made her sacrifice to save everyone and not just me. I’d seen that in her eyes. But I also couldn’t shake my sense of responsibility. How long would Lyria survive if she came with me? Days? Months? All I knew was my path seemed to be on a collision course with terrible things. I couldn’t let her join me. Even if I did selfishly want it.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, forcing myself to sound casual. “What happened back there was a freak accident. You should try to get to Iron and get that cushy job position you talked about. Don’t let this make you reckless. You can afford to live a comfortable life. Take advantage of that.”

“Comfortable?” she laughed. “Do you see my family?” she asked, gesturing. “Do you see friends? I’ve just been trying to scrape by. Trying to convince myself the best I can hope for is a little comfort and food in my belly. Now I think I want more than that and you’re trying to push me away?”

“I don’t want your death on my conscience, too,” I snapped. “Just—” I raised a hand, cutting her off before she could say more. “Just promise me you’ll at least sleep on it. If you still want to come with me in the morning… then we’ll talk about it. But fuck,” I said, shivering. “We both need to sleep. No major decisions right now. Okay?”

Lyria’s jaw was clenched so the muscles ticked again and again. Her blue eyes bore into me. Finally, she nodded and stormed off toward town.

I did want her company. She was sometimes cold towards me, but there was warmth beneath it. I’d glimpsed it and enjoyed it a few times already. Going through something traumatic like we had back in those ruins also had a way of making it feel like we were bound somehow. And I deeply respected the fact that she had been ready to stand with me against that lich. If Circa hadn’t shouted us off, I had seen the willingness to die trying in Lyria’s eyes. She would’ve been right there, going blow for blow with me until we were obliterated.

That built trust, and I didn’t want to let that go. But I didn’t want to see her die, either. I wasn’t going to allow my weakness to get her killed.

Jarn and the other survivors were already talking to the townspeople when I caught up with them. Lyria was standing by the other guards, watching me out of the corners of her eyes as I came closer.

Jarn was speaking quickly to a pretty woman with a serious face. I guessed she was in some position of power—maybe the mayor. “The scribe misread it. The threat level was at least tier two.”

The woman went pale. “A lich? Jarn… those ruins are only an hour from Riverwell.” She looked in the direction we’d come from, swallowing hard. “Where is everyone else?” She was leaning, as if expecting to see the rest of them coming over the hill any moment.

“Dead,” Jarn said. “Circa was going head-to-head, but it looked like a losing battle. She bought us enough time to escape with the lives here. She died a hero.”

Rock nodded sullenly beside Jarn.

“A lich?” one of the men working the walls whispered. Soon, they had all stopped and were staring up at Jarn.

“We’ll put in an emergency commission,” Jarn said, projecting his voice so the workers could hear. “We can pool our resources to pay a party of Golds. The lich was likely weakened by Circa. We should have time before—”

A woman laughed in disbelief. “Ain't enough money in all our pockets combined to pay for one Gold, Jarn. Even the guild can’t spot us for something like that. Could be months before help comes from the military.”

He grimaced. It looked like he knew she was probably right. “We’ll have to try. I’m not about to abandon the town.”

A man working the wall got up and rushed into town. After a moment of hesitation, others followed.

“Where are they going?” I asked as Jarn stared after them.

The guard captain sighed. “Packing their things, most likely. They know a Forsaken is only a short way from town. A Forsaken who just killed more than half the town guard, a few Irons, and a highly decorated Silver from the adventurer’s guild.” He shook his head. “It’s only a matter of time before the lich emerges from the ruins and seeks more power if she lives. Riverwell will be overrun without powerful intervention.”

“How long do you think you have?” I asked.

“Impossible to say,” Jarn said. “But once word spreads—which it will—Riverwell will be all but abandoned by anyone who can afford to leave. The ones living out of personal spaces will flee first.” He ran a hand down his stubble with a sound like sandpaper. “I’m sorry I dragged you into that. But I’m not sorry it led to Circa’s involvement. Without her… None of us would be alive. Thank you for the part you played.” He slapped my shoulder roughly, then walked into town.

The sun was high in the sky, but the half-day of exertion made me feel like I needed to sleep for two days straight. I spotted Rock, who was staring toward the hill we’d come from. “What will you do?” I asked the tomte.

“Stay,” he said. “The town needs protection. I’ll help.”

I thought about reminding him how hopeless it would be. None of us had stood a chance against that lich. But there was a deep resolve in his words that brooked no argument. I nodded, then headed for my personal space. First, I’d sleep. I could worry about claiming my reward tokens in the morning. And after that? It was like I told Lyria. I’d move forward. And I’d keep moving forward until there was no more forward to go. And then I’d break through whatever barrier was stopping me and push onward again.

Because weakness wasn’t an option. Watching more people die wasn’t an option. If that meant pushing myself until it hurt, then so be it.