Lost

Snow was falling. On the day when the snow was piling up silently, I wrote on a piece of paper that had turned yellow. Filled with malice, I ground my teeth, pressing so hard that the pencil lead broke several times.[Wait here. You must wait.]I finally completed the sentence.＊ ＊ ＊I slowly regained consciousness. But I did not open my eyes. My head felt like it was about to explode. In my dream, I was a very young child. It was the first time I had dreamt of the orphanage since leaving that place. As time passed, the memories in my dream faded like embers in the wind. I could no longer remember what I had been thinking about just moments ago, nor what I had been doing in the dream. I didn’t want to recall my childhood. There were no good memories at all. After leaving the orphanage, I unconsciously tried to forget the days I spent there.And in reality, I had almost no memories of the orphanage left.As I lay there, forgetting what I had dreamt about, I sighed meaninglessly and turned over, realizing there was a warmth between my legs. Before I could grasp what it was, I felt warm breath on the back of my neck. When I opened my eyes wide, sounds that I hadn’t heard before came to my ears. Panting breaths, wet friction sounds, and a voice calling me.“Hng… Hng, Ah…”I immediately recognized what the wet, panting sound was. My body stiffened as I slowly turned my head to see Jung Woojin’s face, soaked in sweat and tears. He looked at me with unfocused eyes before closing them tightly. I felt something hot and sticky spreading between my legs. Jung Woojin let out a big sigh and relaxed his body. Then, he looked at me with a soft gaze, his eyes crinkling at the corners. With the sunlight streaming through the open window, Jung Woojin was shining.“Sunbae, you’re awake?”“…”“You must have been really tired. It’s already past ten.”“…”“Aren’t you hungry?”My legs felt sticky. The lingering heat clung to my body, warming me. I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything, and then I felt something hard rubbing against my butt. When a long, rod-like object rubbed between my buttocks, my waist trembled.“Sunbae, are you still sleepy?”Jung Woojin hugged me with his wet hands, rubbing his forehead against my back. It was then that I gasped for breath and sprang up. The blanket barely covering my lower body fell, revealing a grotesquely large penis entangled in semen. I looked down at my legs with a pale face. Between the wrinkled white shirt, my thighs were red and hot, smeared with white semen. I cursed under my breath, turning to Jung Woojin.“You fucking…”“I didn’t put it in.”“What?”“I was just rubbing it…”I was at a loss for words, staring at Jung Woojin who looked at me with a wronged expression. This bastard… What the hell… I clambered off the bed. The disgusting smell made me nauseous. As I got off the bed, Jung Woojin followed, not bothering to cover his still-erect penis.“Sunbae, where are you going?”“……”The fact that you’re being a jerk is more of a problem than my hand hurting. Jung Woojin, unaware of my thoughts, gently stroked my thigh, carefully washing away the semen stuck to my skin, and then turned off the shower. Water dripped from the end of the showerhead.“Sunbae, why aren’t you saying anything? Are you still mad?”I wanted to wash my face, shampoo my hair, and take a shower, but Jung Woojin didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving. I turned my back to him, avoiding eye contact. As I reached out for a towel, Jung Woojin grabbed my fingertips. He kissed my wet fingertips and asked again.“I was wrong.”I thought about pulling my hand away, but I just stayed still. After all, this was just a futile battle. Whether I cursed out Jung Woojin or beat him up, it was all a pointless waste of energy.“Is this about what happened yesterday, or is it because I put my dick between your legs earlier?”“……”“Is it because I forced it on you while you were sleeping? Because I didn’t ask and just did whatever I wanted?”I turned my head to stare at the corner of the bathroom. Staring blankly at an empty spot, I half-listened to Jung Woojin’s words, letting them go in one ear and out the other, when he suddenly pulled me closer by the hand he was holding. As I took a couple of steps towards him, Jung Woojin grabbed my shoulder.“Sunbae.”He grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. Just moments ago, his expression was as usual, but now his face had hardened into something cold. He looked at me intently, as if desperately trying to read something in my eyes.“Are you angry?”“……”“Are you really angry?”Honestly, I don’t know what to do. I know that provoking Jung Woojin here will only end up hurting me, but I can’t stand it if I don’t do something. I felt like I had to release the anger boiling inside me somehow. Seeing him cling so desperately, watching my reactions, and feeling his distress, oddly, seemed to calm my anger a bit.“Do you not want to talk to me anymore?”Looking into his trembling, dark eyes, I vaguely realized that this was the best way to make this bastard miserable.His grip on my chin tightened. It hurt like my jawbone was going to break, but I kept my expression blank.“Do you really not want to talk to me anymore?”There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to curse at him, to convince him that this should end here. I wanted him to explain this situation in a way I could understand. I wanted to have a conversation, but we never really communicated. We always asked the same questions and gave the same answers, so what kind of conversation could it be?But what is there to say to you?I turned my head to break free from his grasp and tried to leave the bathroom, but he grabbed my wrist again. Jung Woojin, looking desperate, asked me,“Are you really not going to talk to me?”His pale face, blue lips, and trembling body made him look terribly cold. He looked so cold that it almost seemed like I could see his breath every time he spoke. I narrowed my eyes and stared into his dark pupils. If I answer him, Jung Woojin will feel relieved. Whether I say I won’t talk to him or that it’s not the case, regardless of what I say, the mere fact that I answered will put him at ease. Based on past patterns, no matter what I answer, Jung Woojin will continue the conversation from there.A conversation that’s useless to me, a pointless and worthless exchange, one that’s not even worth calling a conversation, filled with his own pathetic thoughts.“Sunbae, if you don’t tell me why you’re angry, how am I supposed to know?”I’ve already told him dozens of times. Stop, don’t do this, I don’t like it, let me go. But has Jung Woojin ever listened to me even once? He must know that, but seeing him prattle on because he has a mouth, my anger flared up again. I unconsciously turned my head to look at the sink, where the razor was always kept on the shelf.“Are you still mad? Really mad?”But the razor that was always neatly placed on the shelf was nowhere to be seen. Jung Woojin must have put it away. I clicked my tongue in frustration and turned my head to stare at the empty space again. I needed to find something that could be used as a weapon. I should check later if there are any paring knives or kitchen knives in the kitchen.“Sunbae, are you really not going to talk to me?”“……”“If you keep silent like this, I can’t know what I did wrong, whether I need to fix it or not…”*Slap!* The sound of friction echoed as I swung my hand to shake off Jung Woojin’s grip, and the back of my hand ended up striking his cheek. I gritted my teeth and glared at him. No matter how hard I tried to think of something else, to block out his voice, I couldn’t hold back the rising anger. I was breathing heavily, trying to suppress my raging breath.Knowing what you did wrong, fixing it or not? Damn, does he even realize what he’s saying? I clenched my fist tightly, biting down hard, and closed my eyes. I struggled to calm my pounding heart and slowly opened my eyes again, only to see Jung Woojin gently touching his now red and swollen cheek with his fingertips. His already red lips, now more crimson from the blood, had split. As I glared at him and sighed inwardly, turning my back to him, Jung Woojin grabbed my wrist again. I yanked my wrist free from his grip and clenched my fist.This time, I wasn’t planning to use the back of my hand—I was ready to punch that face.“Ugh!”But before I could even swing, I was shoved against the wall. Jung Woojin grabbed both of my arms and lifted them above my head, securing both wrists with one hand. Incredibly, I couldn’t move an inch. After a few more struggles, realizing it was futile, I lifted my leg, but Jung Woojin pressed down on my thigh with his other hand. The pain in my restrained wrist was unbearable, and I let out a low groan. He removed the hand pressing down on my thigh and shoved his thumb into my mouth. My mouth was forced open, unable to close.“Are you not going to talk to me?”“Ugh, let…go! Ah, ugh!”I tried to shake my head and shout, but I ended up screaming. As I reflexively bent over from the pain in my wrist, Jung Woojin moved his face close to mine and asked again.“Why? Why are you angry?”“Ugh… damn it, argh!”His thumb, which had been pressing down in my mouth, slid out. Before I could say anything, he grabbed my genitals. Jung Woojin gripped them harshly, almost cruelly, and asked again.“Why won’t you answer me?”“Grr, damn it…!”“If you don’t answer, I won’t hold back either.”Hold back? Damn it, what have you ever held back? I gritted my teeth and glared at him. My body trembled with anger.“I’m trying not to do things that make you angry, but if you act like this, there’s no reason for me to hold back.”“What? You damn…!”“Either way, you’ll hate me no matter what I do.”Jung Woojin’s expression twisted. ＊ ＊ ＊ I must be losing my mind. Up until now, I thought Jung Woojin was an insane bastard I couldn’t deal with, but I was wrong.“Ugh, ah! Damn it, stop…! Ugh!”All this time, Jung Woojin was acting like a sane person. I thought he was just doing whatever he wanted, but now that I see him truly mad, I realize how much he had been holding back.“Stop clamping your legs together. I can’t see, damn it.”“Stop, don’t do this! Stop!”“What do you mean, stop? I haven’t even started yet.”The more I struggled, the more Jung Woojin also struggled, and the more we fought, the more we hurt each other. Jung Woojin pinned me down on the floor, grabbing my arms, my legs, and my waist to bind me tightly. When I came to my senses, my left arm was tied to the sink drain, and my right arm was bound to my right ankle. Every time Jung Woojin tried to spread my legs, the wrist tied to the drain felt like it was going to snap.“Damn it, stop! You bastard, you crazy son of a…ugh!”After tying me up however he wanted, Jung Woojin exhaled a breath. His once neat hair was now a disheveled mess, with cuts and bruises scattered across his skin, leaving drops of blood. He looked down at me, his tied-up captive, and lifted his blood-stained lips into a smile. His eyes looked truly deranged.“You, untie me! You damn bastard, I’ll… I’ll kill you…!”I spat out threats, trembling all over, but Jung Woojin stood up. My shoulders tensed, but he didn’t seem to care as he reached out and opened a shelf. He then pulled out a white, long tube and a round, flat green container before settling back between my legs. A sense of dread washed over me. I tried to lift my only unbound left leg to kick him, but he caught it before I could even move.“Let me go!”“If you say ‘let me go’ one more time, I’ll tear your ass apart.”I shuddered at the madness in his glossy eyes. Jung Woojin, who was watching me intently, suddenly opened the white container. Before I could ask what it was, he lifted my leg high and turned the container upside down. A sticky, unknown substance started dripping between my genitals and the crack of my buttocks.“Ugh!”I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes against the unsettling sensation. Jung Woojin spread my buttocks apart. When I gasped and opened my eyes, the opening of the container was already pressing into my anus.“Ahhh!”Bent nearly in half, I could see the white container lodged between my buttocks, with the sticky substance leaking out. Even though I screamed, Jung Woojin didn’t look at me. His gaze was fixated on my anus.With a squelch, the container made a sound. I realized that the contents of the container had been completely sucked into me. My stomach churned, and I felt like I might throw up. As I clenched my teeth and tilted my head back, Jung Woojin carelessly tossed the white container into a corner.“Ugh!”Just then, my hair was grabbed. Jung Woojin yanked my head up, forcing me to look at him. When I blinked, his face was right in front of mine.“Open your mouth.”I wanted to yell something obscene, but his face was so menacing that I couldn’t find my voice. I clenched my closed mouth tightly and glared at him. Seeing me like that, Jung Woojin let out a small scoff. That’s when my stomach started to churn. I swore to myself I wouldn’t open my mouth, but before I knew it, my lips parted, and I let out a breath.“Mmph!”And then something slid into my open mouth. It was his tongue. Jung Woojin stared straight into my wide eyes as he licked every corner of my mouth. Meanwhile, something unknown was oozing from between my buttocks. My whole body trembled, and I thrashed my head from side to side. As I kept shaking my head, Jung Woojin reached out and forcefully shoved his fingers into my mouth.“Stay still.”Tears welled up in my eyes and streamed down my cheeks. Jung Woojin, watching me quietly, kissed the corner of my eyes. The feel of his hot tongue on my skin made my skin crawl, and without thinking, I bit down on the fingers in my mouth. As the sound of teeth grinding filled the air, Jung Woojin tightened his grip on my hair. My head was yanked back, and the tears that had pooled in my eyes trailed down my temples.After licking up all the tears, Jung Woojin grabbed my hips and twisted them. Just as I was wide-eyed with dread, the pressure from behind began. His penis started pushing its way into my still-unyielding anus.“Ah…!”It felt like I was going to die. I’d never experienced such excruciating pain in my life. I couldn’t even breathe properly.“Sunbae, relax a bit. You’re going to break my dick.”“Sob… ah, ahh!”With a thud, his penis was fully inside. My mind flickered in and out, and everything went dark. When I came to, Jung Woojin was thrusting deep inside me.“Ah, ugh! Ah, ah!”He was thrusting so hard I couldn’t even tell him to stop. Each time his penis stabbed into the numb insides of my body, it felt like my spine was going to snap. My legs hurt, my arms hurt. Desperate to feel less pain, I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him. I kept losing consciousness, only to be jolted awake by the movement. Shaken, and shaken again, until eventually, I passed out.“Sunbae.”Something was tapping my cheek. My eyes were so dry and sore that I couldn’t open them. As I groaned and tried to blink, something warm and wet touched my eyelids. I realized it was a tongue. Jung Woojin licked every single one of my eyelashes and my eye area before kissing my cheek. Slowly opening my eyes, I gasped for breath. I exhaled and inhaled again, my chest heaving as I struggled to breathe. At that moment, a sharp pleasure shot through me from head to toe.“Ahhh!”“If you’re awake, open your eyes.”“Uh… ah, ah!”The sound of wet slapping filled my ears. I opened my mouth and tried to open my eyes, but my vision was still blurry.— Ah, ah, ah, ah!Then, I heard a vulgar moan in my ear. As I squinted, I saw a large television. On the screen, there was a video of me on all fours, panting like a dog. Jung Woojin was behind me, holding me down and raping me like an animal.“Ah, ahhh!”“You’re angry because you can’t remember what happened over the past week, right?”Jung Woojin scratched my chest with his nails. He toyed with my nipple, spinning it around, pressing down with his fingertips, and then slowly scratching it again. My vision started to blur again.— Ah, ahh, hng! Ah, ah, ahh! Woojin, Woojin, ahhh!“I recorded everything.”“Sob, hic… Ah, ah!”— Sob, sob! Woojin, hic! Ah, cum inside, please cum inside, ahhh! Ah, ugh, there, it feels weird, weird, ah! It’s hot, your dick is hot, hic!“When you watch that, you’ll remember what we did during the week you can’t recall.”“Ahh! Stop it! It hurts, it hurts, ah…!”My nipples felt hot and inflamed. The heat kept increasing, and it was getting frightening. When Jung Woojin grabbed my nipple between his fingers and pulled hard, my mind went completely blank. The sound of me panting like a dog, both on the screen and in reality, started to fade.— Woojin, it’s yours. Ah, my pussy, my pussy is Woojin’s, hic! Cum inside meeee! Sob! Please, cum inside, cum inside, ahhh!“Look at that. When I told you I wouldn’t cum until I was inside you, you cried like a baby.”“Ugh… Ah, sob, ah, ahh!”With a squelch, the deeply embedded penis began to move. Jung Woojin bit my neck as he started to rotate it slowly and shallowly thrust again.“A week is 168 hours, right? I recorded all of it. You can watch it slowly and remember everything.”The horror of his words made it hard to breathe. As tears streamed down my already ruined cheeks, Jung Woojin twisted his lips into a smile and licked my face.The person on the screen wasn’t crying out of pleasure.— Hic, sob. Ah, ahhh… Ah, ugh! Sob, ah! Save me, ahhh!It was an instinctive struggle for survival that every human possesses. I sobbed pathetically, begging over and over like a child.— Sob, sob, ah, hic! Ahhh! Save me, ah, Woojin, Woojin, ahhhh! Ah, ahhh! It’s tearing, ahhh!— It’s not tearing. Do you know how slippery it is inside you? You’re completely loosened up and soft.— It hurts, it hurts, ugh! Ah, ahhh! No, I don’t want it, I don’t want it there, ah! Stop, hic! It hurts, ahhh!— Does it hurt? It doesn’t look like it. You’re leaking so much with every thrust that it doesn’t seem painful. Should I cum inside you again? It’ll make it slippery and less painful.— Noooo, no, not inside, no, ah! Stop, hic! Stop, stop, ahhh, ahh, ahh!It was horrifying. I had never faced such a terrifying situation in my life, and I had no idea how to process what was happening.“Sunbae, open your eyes. Weren’t you curious?”“Sob, sob…”“You were really cute back then. I almost got a nosebleed when you begged me to cum inside you. You were just so cute.”“Gasp!”Jung Woojin rubbed my penis with his fingertips. His movements were so gentle and careful that it made it even harder to endure. My whole body trembled, cold sweat poured out, and I let out involuntary groans. Each time Jung Woojin rubbed the tip of my penis, I clenched my anus. Every time I tightened like that, Jung Woojin let out a hot breath and kissed my ears, mouth, cheeks, eyes, and neck.— Ung, ah, ah! Ah, ugh!