Loved by the War Machine

100 – Reunion (1)

When I realized my body was in pain was when the child started speaking in earnest.

…I sensed it as soon as I saw that my mechanical hand wasn’t responding.

Something was wrong.

What followed was a seizure.

I remember the guy who hugged me and groped my body desperately when I barely managed to move my hand after seeing that the light didn’t enter Illya’s lens.

After that, it was medication.

A large number of pills that were hard to swallow at once.

After swallowing them all, the taste of food sharply declined.

…From the beginning, from that point on, I couldn’t say I was ‘alive.’

More than half of the day was spent absent-mindedly, and when things weren’t too dire, I lay on the bed in the room, staring blankly at the changing brightness of the ceiling.

Sometimes a day, no, maybe two?

I passed the time without distinguishing whether I was asleep or awake.

Nevertheless, what I never gave up on was that small bundle of joy, Ilia, who used to tightly hold my hand and nestle into my embrace.

… A child who resembled my younger self so closely, my son.

I did my best.

To ensure the child could live a proper life.

Though I was abandoned and raised with weapons –

I couldn’t subject the child to the harsh underworld I had grown up in.

The goal depicted in the images, safely integrating my child into society.

Not for that reason alone, but… it just felt right.

A face so much like mine.

The son Ilia had because she loved me.

Hence, I didn’t want to witness him suffering.

After that, my mind cleared quite a bit.

Taking walks hand in hand, riding transport ships, enjoying the night scenery.

Days when the air became clearer, and stars began to appear one by one in the sky.

Above all, after discovering that the scene I gifted to Ilia in the floating garden was alive… I went to the garden every day.

Underneath that tree, I unfolded gestures of affection that I couldn’t explain to my son.

… He was a son in need of a friend, but I couldn’t provide him with one.

How could a young boy have a friend in such a rare world?

To that question, Illya suggested having one more child.

I refused.

Because my body wasn’t in good condition.

That’s how I lived for years, as a father and Illya’s lover.

When the child slowly started looking at the tablet more than me.

When Illya, by my side, glanced proudly at the growing son, trying to raise his hand to my head.

I coughed.

And blood came out.

With coffee.

I saw my son’s face turning pale.

The face of a son who was trying to come to me, and the face of a droid that appeared in an instant to transport me to the medical pod…

“Lord Taehyuk.”

Now a voice seeping into my ears.

I was gently lifted by a cautious touch, getting up from the bed.

Now, I stroked Illya’s face without the hollows under the eyes, and touched the head of the one who kissed my lips on the cheek.

…It would have been nice if the tingling headache didn’t disturb the clear awakening.

“My head is -“

“Would you like to take a break?”

A cold body.

Ringing ears.

Blurry vision.

Even though Ilyria was by my side, was it just a dream?

Or…

“Was this another experiment?”

“…Yes. That’s correct.”

The price to stay alive.

Things one must do to survive.

…

Is it better than staining hands with blood?

Or should I lament becoming an experimental rat?

Still, with Ilyria to protect me, it’s relatively better.

“More importantly, a guest has arrived.”

“A guest?”

A guest for someone who has become like this, what could that mean?

In the past five years, the only ones I’ve seen are Ilyria and ‘those’ Ilyrias.

“Juwon, Go Dayeon, and Matthew Vance.”

Familiar names.

And then, the following, astonishing names.

“How could my son… Perhaps, connect me to the internet -“

“No. Such a thing will not happen in the future… for security reasons.

However, the three directly accessed this facility.”

Directly? In… underground?

In exchange for Mirsis’s support, within the fortress of artificial intelligence passing on technology?

“Based on the situation, it seems they breached the plasma beam experiment site using Tenhoo’s forces, accessed through the internal lift.

Furthermore, thereafter, they delayed our response by hacking security protocols and safely confronted us.”

“Ah, then… that voice. It was indeed… Dayeon.”

People I haven’t met since that day.

And my son, whom I haven’t seen once since he fell.

How did he grow up?

In what manner did he come looking for me?

Perhaps, does he hold no resentment?

Maybe everyone who came looking, do they not resent me?

As I did to Ilia.

“The first person you’ll meet… is Juwon.

He sat at the table first. Shall I permit the connection?”

“We can’t meet like this. Let me prepare a bit.”

“Then, I’ll prepare a space beyond the door. In the meantime, I’ll assist you in choosing the clothes you desire.”

She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, the sight of one person becoming two was still an unfamiliar scene.

Ilia’s figure naturally disappearing beyond the door.

And then, another version of her, laying out dozens of clothes as she opened the wardrobe.

“As it’s a reunion after a long time, shall I pick something elegant for you?”

“…Didn’t Juwon say to go first?”

In that case, it might be better to resemble Dad rather than the appearance of a gunslinger.

But rather than being painful, it would be better to present a neater appearance.

“The one you wore when we went on a date… I think this would be nice.”

A gray hoodie and black cargo pants.

Dressing in a style similar to the first gift I ever gave her, a wistful gaze spreading across her pretty face.

“…It seems inappropriate to wear that outfit in front of our son.”

“You don’t have to match it exactly. How about just wearing the exact same clothes as me?”

“That was a joke.”

The pulled-out clothes were handed over.

As I took them, I felt the soft texture at my fingertips.

But sometimes… I wonder if this sensation is truly real.

Because I am on the outside.

Confined inside a cell, head cleanly shaved –

So, in other words.

“It suits you well.”

The reflection in the mirror is unlikely to be real.

Those who live in the real world are outside.

…I’ve already resigned myself, yet it still troubles me.

Am I truly alive?

The brain inside the skull.

The concept Matthew talked about.

Ha,

Instead of useless words, he had told me to put out some money.

“If you’re ready – “

“Yeah, Ilia. Let’s go.”

A fake doorknob – no, not that.

I grabbed the doorknob and turned it.

To head beyond where someone is waiting.

***

“…”

Is this a park?

Now unreachable. Inaccessible.

Taken from the people of the corporation.

And the most beautiful house I couldn’t have imagined –

Beyond that, blooming flower trees.

The real plants with a vibrant green and a clean pond.

“How have you been, Mister Gunslinger?”

A voice came from beside.

Holding Ilya’s hand, what I saw when I turned my head was…

“Son.”

“You are alive.

…Still, because I could find you -“

He sobs.

A child resembling me.

Slowly, my son, who had replied briefly.

“Ah…”

“If you disappear like that in front of my eyes without saying a word – I, I…”

“Yes, I told Ilya those words, and as soon as he regained consciousness, it was you whom I found -“

The memories of the forgotten son from some time ago.

A conversation that gradually, faintly revives.

The face that calmly said if I die, my command to find the son would be meaningless.

“…The first thing I can say when I see you is… I thought I’d be glad to see you.

I’m sorry.”

The child grown in Ilya’s belly embraces me.

The boy with my blood holds onto me.

“I found it, diligently, diligently searched.

I called my mom every day, sent texts too…

Because my dad had turned out that way, I knew my mom wouldn’t reply. But still.”

I sniffled.

Then, to my ‘mom’… I turned my teary eyes.

“At least, you could have comforted me a little.”

“…”

There was no response.

Just silence, with hands clasped and head bowed.

“A wretched couple, and sorry parents.”

The fifteen-year-old, who had begun to grow taller.

It would have been nice if I could see him grow.

“No, the humans outside are better than those useless guys. Well…”

Wiping away tears, the boy sighed and stood up.

Then, he grabbed my mom and lifted her up.

“Ju-won?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve all been together, is it okay to stay like this?”

Holding hands, pulling her over, and abruptly shoving her next to me.

And the boy, squeezing his grown body between us.

“It would be nice if you could hug me like before… I wish.”

Without hesitation, she inclined her body at those words.

So that Iliya’s arms could reach around my shoulders.

And so that my hands could hold onto the child’s head.

“…It’s warm. Just like back then.”

The child I had raised in my arms since childhood.

Carrying, raising, comforting…

If there was regret that I couldn’t accompany them outside a bit more due to illness, it was indeed regrettable.

Fortunately, unlike me, the child had a calm temperament.

Perhaps that’s why we were able to come this far.

The tablet I held onto every day.

And the countless screens seen through the bracelet I received as a gift.

“Is this what responsibility is?”

Iliya raised her head.

A face filled with complex emotions.

“If you had at least contacted me, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.”

Even if I couldn’t take care of her, even if Iliya couldn’t come.

If only she had left a single word asking me to wait.

We wouldn’t be meeting like this.

“No, I should have focused entirely on you, Taehyuk.

Please, be aware of your own situation – “

“Mom, Dad.”

The son’s rough hand gripped the voice that was about to rise.

What was revealed in the falling sound was hardened flesh.

“After all the effort to come, are you going to fight like that?”

He had thought it was tough to hear the words of being good parents.

But still, is it because he’s our son that he holds onto us?

“We finally meet. Let’s smile a bit more.

Oh, do you have any questions? How I managed to survive for ten years…”

“Well, that might be quite a sad story.”

Without parents, at the age of fifteen.

Alone in this damn city, having come this far by confronting those Tonhu bastards –

“Dad’s body… is it okay?”

Despite that, what should I do with this kid who worries about me first?

Should I hug him?

Or should I apologize many times for being sorry?

“For now, it’s better. Look. My body is still the same as before here.”

Let’s answer all the questions that come for now.

The child’s sorrow, anger, joy,

Until everything is resolved.