Loved by the War Machine

102 – Reunion (3)

“…Taehyuk, sir.”

“Dayeon?”

I might not have recognized her if it weren’t for her voice.

The gold under her eyes… undoubtedly, the same as Ilia’s parts…

“To be able to meet like this, is it fortunate?

Or should I say it’s really foolish? How can this even happen?”

What if I start crying and getting angry already?

Time is running out, and there are many things I want to ask for.

“And… Matthew. Is it fortunate to see you too, or…”

“If we consider it as repaying the debt I owed during that time, is this enough?”

Naturally extending my hand.

However, I couldn’t catch that.

Well, considering the space created by Ilia right now –

“…How did you end up living with such a relentless woman?”

“She’s so relentless that she probably stuck to my lifeline too.”

Like a waiting room, it was a cramped space with a thin glass partition in between.

Although it was advised to keep it as simple as possible to handle three people at once and minimize contact –

“…If you had been with me instead -“

“It’s too late to talk like that now. You know that. And even if you say that, I don’t have any regrets.”

The girl in front of me, no… she’s now a mature woman.

The childish vibe is gone, and now she knows how to shoot intense gazes.

Time has indeed passed.

A lot of it.

“You used to talk as if you never even saw someone like me.

…As if you never gave me a chance, not even once.”

“There was no choice, you know?”

Among the disappeared comrades, the only, true ‘comrade.’

Instead of boredom or indifference when I threw a few stories, my friend would offer a somewhat serious answer.

Not exactly life, but he threw his body to protect me.

How can one hate Illya like that?

Liking her, and liking her even more – eventually crossing the line.

“Calling a comrade who fought for their life a law of nature.”

“But still… lovers are different, right? If appearance was the issue, now even I -“

So that’s how it was.

Turning the face around, those gaps in the hands and arms.

Could it be called inferiority?

“If you keep saying that, Illya might just kick you out, you know?”

Pretending to be considerate, pretending to leave the seat empty… but Illya was the one who created this space.

There was no doubt that she saw, heard, felt everything in this place.

Even my breathing.

Especially when she suddenly appeared by the bedside, claiming she would even solve the natural phenomena of the morning… I was shocked.

“So, let’s lighten the mood now.”

“…Do you think it’s possible to lighten it?”

A bowed head.

Deep shadows covering the eyes.

And a sob.

Droplets, bathed in the light from the ceiling, fell down.

“I said I like you. Did that really sound like a joke?

A magnificent figure walking in, emanating the smell of gunpowder.

Handing over a business card coolly, turning away without any lingering attachment, revealing the scars that are visible.

Without showing any signs of hardship… you made me into a hero.”

His hands splash water.

Again and again.

“You know it’s strange, right?”

“It’s become even stranger now.”

The response to the pointless joke… is fierce.

With just a look, he could kill a person, now.

Like how he kicked away the thug who was trying to invade Iria’s body.

“If you’re a mercenary, you’re polite and have principles.

…Dojun oppa, you helped me a lot.

You even took care of the kids.

You even granted Matthew ajusshi’s personal request…”

When receiving such evaluations from acquaintances, does one inevitably become happy?

Should I be grateful that my efforts were not in vain?

Or – was this just a favor to keep getting work?

Like what I said to Haru?

“You made me cling to you so tightly.

And now you tell me to forget. To distance myself.

That’s impossible. It can’t happen.”

They must have come searching for me, risking their lives.

Like a son who ran all the way here yearning for his parents.

Should I be grateful for that?

Should I feel burdened?

Or perhaps, should I let out a cry?

“Well, I might break the mood a bit, but –

Dayeon really worked hard. You can tell at a glance.

Not only did she replace both arms and legs, but she even changed her face completely.

All to be of help to you.”

It’s heavy.

It gets even heavier.

Too heavy to push away.

Knowing that it shouldn’t overlap with the changes in Ilia for my sake.

Knowing that it needs to be detached.

“…Of course, I know you’re a married man now, with a child even, but just… like that.

No one in their right mind chases after one person for 20 years.

Especially in a world like this.”

“Enough. Just… enough.”

If they knew, they shouldn’t say such things.

Keep making the farewell more painful, even though they know they shouldn’t.

“…Indeed, it seems I won’t be given any opportunities. Isn’t that right?”

I wished you hadn’t fallen into despair.

Now that you know the truth, I hoped you would have gone far away.

May you be safe, may you be unharmed.

I hoped you would use your talents somewhere unknown to me to earn a living,

And that you would forget about being a mercenary in the dazzling upper floors of the city.

“I knew. Just… even in this state, the fact that you’re still by Ilia’s side means something.

You fought for a machine until your body completely fell apart.

Foolish, isn’t it?”

“Maybe the nickname ‘machine geek’ wasn’t attached for no reason.”

I laughed. I didn’t want to cry.

In my heart, I had to push away everyone I wanted to hold onto, for the sake of everyone.

If I hadn’t been swept away by Ilia.

If Ilia hadn’t understood emotions.

Could I have reached the future I desired?

If I hadn’t been so ambitious.

And if Ilia had realized her feelings for me even a little bit later.

Would we have been happier?

“…I know I don’t have the right to say such things.

But, won’t you grant me one favor?”

Pulled away my lips.

Facing a girl who longs for me.

Like the father of that girl, looking at Matthew guarding by her side.

I know it’s shameless.

Utilizing the feelings of a woman who liked me.

I won’t be forgiven.

Resentment will come.

To everyone who came to me.

“It’s okay if you don’t listen. You can ignore it.

Honestly, I wish you hated me.”

I shake my head.

That’s why the wounds deepen even more.

Kindness is poison.

The kindness that comes from affection digs deeper.

So, when you extract it, it’s bitterly cruel.

“It’s… a story about our son.”

Perhaps this wound can never be healed forever.

However, as much as the deserved compensation given to me, who only left pain to everyone…

Maybe I should accept it as my current fate.

“Father, did you meet her?”

The boy approached the woman whose face was thoroughly painted.

Quietly removing his helmet, he tried to make way for the man organizing his equipment…

“Oh, wait a moment. Why – “

He witnessed the gear he believed was exclusively his disappear.

His bewildered hand reached out.

And it was caught.

“…”

“Sis?”

Mom hanging from the ceiling closed her eyes.

The chair supporting a person descended, and the urn containing father changed its orientation from diagonal to vertical.

As if preparing for a ritual.

“No, this is different from what we agreed upon. Mom, Mom?!”

“…”

There was no response.

As if feeling guilty for telling a lie, the woman with closed eyes bore a face of remorse.

“Why, no, we need to know the reason. Answer without closing your eyes – let go!”

There was no response.

The door opened.

And the strong hand of the woman led toward that place.

The boy’s determination was steadily being broken by force.

“Let go?! Dad, Dad!!”

Where does this strength come from?

The strength of a child shouting for their parents, how strong is it?

Or is it the desperation of a child searching for their parents that weakens a woman?

Slowly, bodies that were heading out of the room were being pulled back in.

“…I’m sorry. But, this is what Taehyuk wanted.”

A word spoken to let go.

But a body with no intention of coming down from the ceiling.

“No, let me talk to Dad. Mom wants to be with Dad, who wouldn’t understand that?!

Mom has always been like that. Turning on the TV, dragging Dad into the bedroom, putting me to sleep, taking Dad away during a walk, disappearing for some reason.

I understood back then. Mom really likes Dad a lot. But now, now it’s different. How did we end up here?

How did we find each other!!!”

The sorrow of a child whose warmth and touch have been taken away at every opportunity since childhood burst out.

And then, it echoed in the empty space.

…Enough to make the fingers in the room tremble.

“It’s not like that. Taehyuk-nim -“

“Taehyuk-nim, Taehyuk-nim, Taehyuk-nim! Mom wanted this, right?

Dad always gave in to Mom.”

The lips of the woman who held the last plea were bitten.

The deep sigh of the man who had heard it together settled on the ground.

In the end, the two couldn’t stop their advancing steps.

“Speak. Did Dad lose again this time?

Now that I’m an adult, do you think it’s okay to let it go now? Is that why?”

Eyelids are unnecessary for a robot.

Therefore, closing them signifies something between the two.

Either the power is off,

…or meaning is held.

“Even if you objectively evaluate the environment here, parenting is never right.”

“A comfortable room for a twenty-year-old is no longer needed. I can manage with just a sofa.”

“No sunlight enters.”

“Just take some nutritional supplements, and it’ll be over. Even Dad is trapped here; it doesn’t seem right for me, does it?”

Forced.

But filled with emotion.

Even with priorities.

“I won’t take a single step from here.

With Dad, with Mom, I’ll live there together -“

So, the father in the coffin moved.

For the independence of the child shedding tears.