Maniac’s Mayhem: A guide to being a corporate slave

 

In a poll, people will discuss what they think is the most dangerous thing to happen. Most people thought that the most dangerous thing was more than four samurai having a meeting just above a meeting between the Fortune Ten companies.

-- Poll brought to you by the Purple Truth 2051

 

“So, Evelin, what do you do for a living?” Claire's dad suddenly asks me, after everyone got seated properly.

“Be gay, do crime,” I say without thinking.

While Claire's younger sister and brother think it is a funny response if their cackling is anything to go by. Her father looks a bit concerned at me.

“Sorry, force of habit,” I say quickly. “I am a cyber security specialist who specialises in obtaining data and giving it to the people who can do stuff with it.”

“So, you are a hacker then? “ he asks, appraising me.

“Yeah, that is what you could call it,” I say nervously. Fuck, this is awkward.

“And what is your plan with our daughter?” he continues.

“Plan? What makes you think I have any plans? I don’t even know whose guts I am wiping off my sword tomorrow. So if you want a plan, you should ask your daughter. She does the planning.”

The confused look her parents give me makes me think that I had said something wrong. I felt an arm sneak around my middle, hugging me tighter and dragging me into Claire. I relax a bit and lean into her, trying to stay warm. Why is it so cold?

“Dad, don’t bully Evelin. She is way better with words than you are, so you won’t win anyway,” Claire says.

Wait, I am good with words? That is new. I mean, it is great, but definitely something I was not aware of. I feel like I stumble a lot usually. Now, I just have to hope that I can keep it up for the sexy talk. Otherwise, I might leave someone disappointed. I look back at her dad. Well, I guess I did disappoint someone. I put my hand on his shoulder.

“Well, maybe you will have more success with the next one,” I say, trying my best to be comforting.

“Next one?” her dad asks, confused

“Yeah, I mean simwmwamwmawm” The rest of my sentences is inaudible because Claire put her hands over my mouth.

“Evelin, I prefer it if you did not air my dirty laundry with my parents.” she whispers into my ear.

I nod. “I understand, but I still think it is rude to call Magenta dirty,” I whisper back.

“No, I mean I need to ease them into the idea, and that needs tact, not a sledgehammer approach.”

“What about a gravity hammer?”

Our conversation is interrupted by Lilly clearing her throat loudly. “you know it is rude to whisper in company,” she says.

“Is it?” I say, a bit confused. “Should I instead ask you all to leave so we can have a private conversation? I somehow feel that that is even ruder.”

I look at Lilly, opening and closing her mouth but not coming up with any more arguments.

“I see now what you mean, with she can be loud as well” Archie says.

“Yeah, she has no filter, and she says whatever comes up in her mind,” Claire says, while smiling at her brother.

“Why does that sound like a bad thing?” I say, more to myself than anyone in particular.

“I mean, to some people, it would be.” Claire says, “but I like it makes you both interesting and a really bad liar.”

I tune out of the conversation for a bit, mulling that over. I mean, being reliable and honest with your partner is good. But a bad liar. Am I really? I thought I was really good at hiding everything. How much does Cierra already know? How much more do other people know? If I am bad at hiding stuff and people have not acted yet, why? Are they afraid, or are they laying a trap? This is something I have to look into.

“Evelin, are you okay?” Claire’s mom asked me, with a look of concern. “You look a bit out of it.”

“Ooh yeah, I am fine. I am just thinking about some stuff.” I say, getting out of my train of thought.

“Any trouble?” Claire asks me.

“Not sure yet. Have to ask Sam, or maybe Anika will see.” I say, trying to locate said people.

Anika is helping the children feed Daisy, which is nice, and a detail I completely forgot about. And she is a meat eater, so that is nice. Sam is talking to Yun Min and some of the other girls. So, I guess it can wait for now.

“What do you do for a living? If you don’t mind me asking?” I say to the woman, trying to divert attention away from me.

“Oh, me, I am just a simple high school chemistry teacher.” she says with a smile. “I like to think that I am half of the reason why Claire likes it so much.”

“I mean, it is good to be inspired at a young age,” I say, looking back at Claire.

“What about your parents? What do they do for a living? Where they the ones to inspire your … career?”

“My mom was a systems engineer, and my dad was an accountant of some sort and I never really paid attention to what he did, really. Now that I am working, I kind of understand his love for numbers. I wish we could have bonded over it. But my love for coding came from my brother. He loved working with cybernetics and needed someone to code them for him. We planned to start a business together and everything.” I say. The memory of my family still haunts me, but hurts way less now.

“That makes it sound like you are not close to them anymore,” she says, with concern in her voice.

“They died. Kind of hard to be close to them.”

Her face is filled with shock as she stands up and pulls me into a hug “You poor thing, if you ever need anything, don’t be too afraid to ask.” She says, making me feel awkward.

“Well, there is something I need,” I say, trying to come up with a way out of this.

“What do you need, honey?” Claire's mother says while looking at me.

“I want your daughter's ass.” I say, barely containing my grin.

There is a sudden quiet except for a loud groan from Claire. Which makes me feel a lot better. “Evelin, really, with my parents around?” she says, head on the table.

“Wait, I thought you wanted me to meet your family. Was I wrong?” I say confused.

“No, I want you to meet them, but, like, I don’t know, be Evelin more, not Maniac.”

I reassess for a second, thinking about what I did and why I did so. I was uncomfortable, I guess, so I lashed out, but why? These people are not my enemies.

‘Lyssa, when is my therapy session again?’

You and Lyssa can have one tonight if you want. You're displaying an unstable emotional state.

“Sorry, I think I went a bit overboard there. I am still high on adrenaline from fighting today, or something.”

“It's fine. You were going to say something weird at some point, anyway. So I don’t mind, but don’t push people away, okay?” Claire tells me.

I just stare at her, confused “Who told you to say that?”

“Lyssa did,” Claire admits, her ears going slightly red.

“Ah, well, makes sense. Fuck, this is awkward now. Anyone want some food?” I say, trying to change the subject.

I stay with Claire and her family for a bit longer, talking about mostly meaningless things like school. Why is that such a popular topic? Anyway, some other people came and joined us, and before I knew it, I was standing in the back of the garden with Yun Min and Sam while David gave us a rundown of all the plants and their special properties.

“And this is the Middlemist’s red. It grows in more shaded conditions and is probably one of my more rare flowers.”

“What can this flower be used for?” Yun Min asks. “Does it hold any medical properties, or can it be used as a poison.”

“Not really. I don’t know, is that important?” David asks, confused.

“Why bother growing a rare plant if it does not do anything?” Yu min continues.

“Because they look good.” David says, looking at Sam and me for support, but we are currently trying our best not to burst out laughing. “I swear you samurai are all the same.”

“Wait, Jason does not like the flowers?” I ask, confused.

“He thinks they are pretty, but you know, he does not really get gardening, but he is still my partner, so he tries to be interested, but isn’t really. You know how it goes.”

“Uh, kind of. I guess I probably never get chemistry all that much, but I love using its effects.”

“Poor Bubbles.” Sam says. “it’s a good thing you're hot, because she is not dating you for your brain.”

“Hey, I am really smart! The fuck.” I say, slightly offended.

“Smart people tend to take out threats while not putting themselves in harm's way. You actively run towards it. Thus, you are not a smart person.” Yun Min says, while high-fiving Sam.

“I hate both of you,” I say, while narrowing my eyes.

“Awh is the little girl upset?” Sam says in a mocking tone. “What is the big and scary Samurai going to do about it? ”

“Me? Nothing”, I say, then I point at Sam. “Daisy, use tackle.”

“Wait, what?” is all Sam can say before she gets tackled by the ball of fur. Who happily starts to lick her face.

“Good girl,” I say, then I look at Yun Min

“You are not going to do that to me, right?” she asks in an unsure tone.

“I'll give you a three-second head start,” I say, a big grin on my face.

Yun Min instantly starts running away.

“Daisy tackle,” I say.

“I thought you were giving her three seconds.” David says.

“What is the fun in that?” I ask, confused.

suddenly. I get tackled from behind as Sam jumps me. She lifts the bottom of my shirt to wipe her face. “What do you feed that thing? Its breath is rancid!” Sam says

“Probably meat, if I had to guess.” I say, while putting Sam to the side and standing up.

“Ugh, it smells bad, poor Yun Min.” Sam says.

“I would not be so sure about that,” I say.

“What do you mean?”

“She just climbed a tree, and Daisy is not going up there after her, so I think she can’t really climb.”

“Well, lucky her.” Sam says, with this weird smile on her face.

“Yep,” I say before whistling, telling Daisy to come back. “But you got to admit, kind of cool how well-trained she is.”

“Well, I guess,” David says, while looking at Daisy skipping over to us. “I got to check on Michael now. You girls have fun.” Then, he quickly starts to walk away.

“You think I freaked him out?” I say while looking at his retreating form.

“A bit. Kind of felt like you and Yu Min were tag teaming him.” Sam says while petting Daisy.

“Ahh, well, if I am only half to blame, then it is fine,” I say in relief.

“You’re a piece of work, aren’t you?” Sam says with a chuckle.

“Yeah, but you still love me.”

“Unfortunately so”

“Unfortunately? I am an amazing friend. Ooh, now that I think of it, how good am I at lying?”

“You are not great at it. Why?”

“Well, I mean, how well am I hiding the whole Maniac thing?” I ask, with a bit of concern.

“Hmm, reasonably well, I would say. It helps that your stance and personality are different when wearing the mask, so it is harder to make a connection.”

“That is good. I was afraid Cierra might have found something out?”

“I mean, I am pretty sure she was suspicious at some point, but if you keep lending your mask to people while you go out in public as Evelin, it will only dismiss the possibility even further.”

“Is this your way of asking for another to go around?”

“No, but I would not mind it. I think giving it to Yun Min and having her do some PMC stuff would be good, though.”

“Huh, you know what? You have a point. Should we get her out of the tree and ask her?”

Sam looks up at the tree. “She can really climb, huh?”

I look at Sam with an eyebrow raised, then shrug. “I guess, yeah. I mean, she is training every day, so I would assume she is fit.”