chapter 43
43 – 11. The inevitable (5)
“… sir.”
“… .”
“Shin-nim.”
Hearing a sudden call to himself, Shien raises his head.
Then Adele pointed forward and opened her mouth.
“excuse me. The people of Liechtenau are with me.”
I slowly look back at Adele’s words.
Originally, only the plains should be visible.
There really were people from Lichtenau.
“Wow!!”
“Lichtenau! Lichtenau!”
I dealt with three demons at once and closed them all.
The demons also succeeded in killing all of them without running away.
Even among them, there were quite a few demons worth commodities.
Although it was the first death in a month.
Even that was not much compared to the fact that there were three Demonic Realms.
How can I be happy when I lost so little and gained so much?
Knights and soldiers also vigorously improved.
Shoulders straight, head held high, spear held high.
Waving the flag of Lichtenau and marching in moderation.
Master of swordsmanship, he has achieved tremendous achievements worthy of his name.
This was an obvious victory, a crushing defeat for the Witchbeasts.
“Lichtenau! Lichtenau!”
Everyone smiles brightly and greets and receives greetings.
What could be a happier and more wonderful day than this?
You may not know all of the tragedy that happened recently, but you will be able to wash away some of it.
“… .”
But Shien couldn’t help but laugh.
You should make them smile.
We must declare our proud victory.
Why do I keep thinking of some people who lost their lives?
It is impossible not to lose people at all in the first place.
This is not a child’s play, nor is it sparring with wooden swords.
If you win, you live and if you lose, you die. It is a cruel reality where life and death come and go.
While 17 allies died in battle, hundreds of monsters died, even if they couldn’t.
It wasn’t just the 5th grade demon spectacle that came out, but even the 4th and 3rd grades.
It was a battle that wouldn’t have been strange if 170 people died instead of 17.
So, this is not a defeat, and it is not something to be sad or depressed about.
As they shout, today is a glorious victory day.
Shien whispered that to himself and moved his body.
“everyone. Everyone has been through a lot. Today’s victory is your credit. You shouldn’t be drunk on a day like this. For you and for those who left first.”
Up on the gates, looking down at the knights and soldiers of Liechtenau.
Shien ordered to open the barrels stored in the castle on the spot.
“Just for today, I will allow you to eat and drink. Instead, excessive fuss is strictly prohibited. Also, those in charge of vigilance are sober. It’s unfortunate, but please give way to those who fought today.”
Then, a burst of laughter broke out among the soldiers.
He was probably laughing at his colleagues who went on guard duty today.
“You are the proud, honored warriors of Liechtenau. Thank you. Thank you for your sacrifice, sincerely. Everyone in the land will think so.”
After Shien’s words, cheers once again fill Lichtenauer.
And in honor of the victory, a short but joyful festival began.
* * *
“… .”
Shien was sitting on top of the wall, watching her people.
Absolutely ordinary people who laugh and talk, eat and drink.
They may have been brave warriors on the battlefield.
After all, everyone is a ‘person’ who has a family and wants to live.
“My lord.”
The one approaching from behind was Guard Captain Rascal.
“Are you okay?”
“Why is that? Is there any problem?”
At Shien’s answer, Rascal stuttered as if he was about to say something.
But when he saw the glass in her hand.
In the end, I couldn’t say anything and had no choice but to walk away.
‘senior… No, Captain of the Guard. It seems that the head of the household was a bit shocked.’
‘Today, for the first time, there was a casualty. It’s been miraculously not in the meantime.’
‘We’ve become a lot dull now… Isn’t that the head of the household?’
At the words of the Knight Commander, Brenda, Rascal let out a drool.
Come to think of it, after Shien became the official head of Lichtenauer.
This was the first time that the person he was responsible for had died.
The simple death of someone you knew.
My actions, my decisions, and someone dying because of them.
There is a huge difference between the two.
Guilt toward those who left, rebuke to oneself.
Other than that, all sorts of negative thoughts surround and shake the mind.
If it gets worse, it can cause hatred beyond distrust of oneself.
This is what Rascal himself experienced when he first assumed command.
A moment that must be passed unconditionally as a person who commands and takes responsibility.
If you don’t keep your cool there, you’ll end up making bigger mistakes next time.
‘… You should be fine.’
Even words of consolation. At least I was going to say something else.
Shien’s eyes were so deeply sunk that he couldn’t even do that.
I am also a person who has lost many people, so I want to say that I understand.
The first time I fell into this situation, how big was the self-blame and regret.
He knew it too well, so he couldn’t open his mouth easily.
I don’t know if you know Rascal’s worries like this.
Shien just tilted his glass in silence.
She stared at people for a long time without saying a word.
He got up and walked towards his room.
‘I’m tired. I want to sleep.’
I want to fall asleep quickly, so I want to forget everything.
And with a slightly clearer head, I want to face tomorrow again.
Shien collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes.
However, the image of the fallen soldiers keeps glimmering.
Their screams and pitiful gestures are clear.
‘please. Please let’s forget.’
while screaming silently.
Barely, Shien fell into a light sleep.
* * *
‘Aagh! aaa!!’
People die in front of your eyes.
Hands gone, legs cut off, heads gone.
Even so, the terrible scream is clearly audible.
Another person dies in the same way.
But this time, it’s not just a person.
That face is definitely her father, a proud father.
And next to her is her brother, who cared for her dearly.
“no. no… .”
He tried his best to save them, but to no avail.
In the end, Shien lost two people again.
“Ahh… !”
He took a deep breath and rose from the bed.
“hahahaha, school… .”
My whole body was drenched with sweat.
My body is very heavy, and I feel like I’m about to collapse.
But most of all, this guilt and fear is the hardest thing.
I feel like dying from suffocation.
Shien hurriedly got up and opened the door.
I couldn’t even put on my clothes properly, I couldn’t even put on my shoes.
It was just running and running.
Rumble!-
The exceptionally sunny morning sun was beating down on her.
However, Shien didn’t even feel it and headed for the garden.
And I hurriedly sit down on the first bench I saw.
“hahahaha! crane! black!”
Calm down, calm down. You can’t just collapse with something like this.
Didn’t you know it was like this? You really thought you couldn’t lose anyone?
Calm down, Sean. you are the master of this place The owner of Lichtenau.
“hahahaha… .”
The feeling of suffocation gradually disappears.
It was only then that Shien was able to properly see the surrounding scenery.
A brighter and warmer morning than ever before.
Have you ever seen such a beautiful morning?
But this new day cannot be seen by the dead of yesterday.
They died for themselves and at their own command.
In any case, they are responsible for their deaths.
And he will lose many more in the future.
“… .”
Kwok-.
Shien’s clenched fists trembled.
Maybe if it wasn’t for the voice I heard next.
It would have made your hands bleed.
“Don’t try to do something you can’t do.”
Hearing that voice, Shien slowly turned his head.
There, as usual, with a calm expression on his face.
Adele stood there, speaking calmly.
“Just, what did you just say… .”
“I told you not to do anything you can’t do.”
Even though he is different from himself, he is a very different person.
A strong, sharp, unshakable man.
It would be nice if I could only be half of him.
“Adele.”
“Yes, Shien.”
“I mean. really… It’s stupid.”
“… .”
“I didn’t even fight yesterday. All you have to do is give an order. just doing this all of a sudden Blaming yourself for their deaths. Isn’t it funny? Aren’t you so stupid?”
Tears fill Shien’s eyes.
I try to put up with it, but it’s on the verge of falling.
“I guess this is why Etria ignored me so much. stupid woman. A weak, fragile, ignorant kid. Without knowing how to do it, just, just… I, the woman I am… .”
“You are a good person.”
Sabak-.
take one step forward
And quietly kneel down next to the woman.
“so. Because you are such a good person It can’t be anything.”
“Isn’t I-I’m weird?”
“yes. It’s not strange.”
“Weak, stupid, just like that… .”
“Not weak, not stupid. You shine.”
Feeling responsible for someone’s death, blaming yourself.
How many of them were in pain and shed tears.
In this world, in this hell where dying fighting is so natural.
Was there anyone who could protect a single flower in their heart?
“You have to get over it. Until this hell is over.”
“… I’m not confident, Adele. I, I don’t have the confidence to be okay like you.”
Adele slowly shook her head at Shien’s answer.
“I’m not saying it’s okay.”
“then… .”
“I’m just pretending it’s okay.”
Who can be anything in this world?
Just pretending that nothing is wrong, pretending to be okay, deceiving others and deceiving oneself.
It must be holding on to the worn-out self and barely surviving.
“You… Adele, you too… nothing is wrong… is not it?”
Questions that fly to yourself.
Seruk-.
Adele stood up from her seat.
And just a little bit, with a bitter expression.
He nodded slowly.
“yes.”
Short but clear answer.
Seeing that, Shien smiled faintly.