Maybe a Fake Gintama

On the streets of Edo, in a particular restaurant.

"Do not search." Katsura held up a sign that read "Do not search" and began to ramble, "In Elizabeth's room, I only found this signboard. It tells me not to search, but what exactly should I not search for? Or is it that I should not go searching at all, because if I do, I might find something that shouldn't be found? So what is it that shouldn't be found, or should I find someone willing to help search and then decide whether to search for what shouldn't be found, or is it better not to find that thing? I am looking for someone willing to help find the answer, but if even that isn't something that shouldn't be found, then I have to search, search, search for someone who can find the person who can find the thing that shouldn't be found, and... ugh!"

Before Katsura could finish, Gintoki, sitting across from him, and Kawaki, sitting beside him, simultaneously delivered a kick and a punch. Gintoki's boot landed squarely on Katsura's right cheek, while Kawaki's fist hit his left cheek.

"So annoying!/Shut up!" Gintoki and Kawaki said in unison.

"Why did you get lost in the labyrinth of 'Do not search'?" Shinpachi, sitting next to Gintoki, holding a soda, half-closed his eyes in exasperation.

"Do not search..." Katsura mumbled, lying on the table, blood still trickling from his nose.

"Who's going to search for you?" Gintoki retorted, then casually analysed, "It's just that, running away from home, running away from home."

"Elizabeth ran away from home?!" Instantly, Katsura sat up, slamming his hands on the table, and passionately argued, "Impossible! There's no reason to break up our relationship! The last time I saw Elizabeth was..."

Katsura suddenly paused, his voice weakening, "The last... the last time I saw Elizabeth was when?"

"Didn't you notice right away that he was missing?" Kagura, sitting next to Gintoki, having just finished an unknown number of bowls of pork cutlet rice, rubbed her overly exaggerated belly and asked, then burped.

"No..."

Katsura began but was interrupted by Kawaki beside him.

"Hey, pause. This is something you can figure out by using your own limited brain cells." Kawaki clapped his hands expressionlessly, then crossed his arms and rested his chin on them, looking thoughtfully at the three opposite him. "Actually, the reason I called you three out is because I've noticed some strange phenomena around me... or rather, strange behaviors from those around me that seem to target me. For example..."

"It's him, isn't it? The one he wrote about?" Kagura whispered into Gintoki's ear, occasionally glancing at Kawaki.

"Yes, that's the feeling," Kawaki nodded, continuing, "And..."

"I didn't expect Kawaki-san to have that kind of experience," Shinpachi whispered into Gintoki's ear, occasionally glancing at Kawaki. It's really surprising. By the way, which part do you like, Kagura?"

"Exactly, that's the feeling," Kawaki nodded again, "And..."

"I like the second part," Kagura whispered back, "The heroine feels so cool, like the universe's number one doctor..."

"Doctor? That woman?" Kawaki showed a strange expression and opened the novel's second part.

Five minutes later, Kawaki skimmed through the middle section's second part.

The middle story is simple: about a female barefoot doctor searching the universe for rare diseases to treat.

"The universe is full of illnesses we don't understand..." is the doctor's catchphrase. While travelling the universe, the female doctor meets a wandering man named Kawaki.

"Like two lone wolves attracted to each other..."

The two journey together, visiting many planets and seeing many rare diseases. The doctor is kind-hearted, always treating the poor for free. In the process, they develop a special bond. However, after winning the title of the universe's number one doctor, Kawaki leaves without saying goodbye.

The middle part's story is heartwarming and daily. It places little emphasis on their relationship and focuses more on the strange diseases they encounter.

"This is completely wrong! What's with the lone wolves?" Kawaki closed the novel, veins popping as he ranted, "When did she say she wanted to be the universe's number one?! She's a plastic surgeon! The ending is wrong too! The male lead dumped her, not the other way around! Why is she the only cool one? The male lead is useless! And... this feels like plagiarism, doesn't it? The style is totally copying Mushishi!"

"Well, there's still the third part. My sister and I like the third part the most," Shinpachi reassured.

"Wait a minute..." Kawaki suddenly realised, "Your sister... has read this novel too? Is this novel... already spreading around Edo?"

"It's a bestseller in all the bookstores in Edo now!" Shinpachi replied, "I heard they're even planning to make a movie."

"Who approved that?!" Kawaki yelled, veins popping.

After skimming through the third part of the last section, Kawaki took a deep breath...

"It's all made up!"