Memorize

Merry Christmas

Anyway, if I got the chance today, I had already planned to casually bring up the topic over drinks. And since it was highly likely that Han-Byeol and I would part ways anyway, I figured it wouldn't matter much if I spoke my mind. If I'd known it would turn out like this, I wouldn't have said what I did in front of the cabin. Though I felt some regret, it was clear that our feelings had already changed.

"If you ask why... Well, it's a little hard to explain."

"Is it... difficult to tell 'me'?"

As I watched Han-Byeol emphasize the word 'me', I shook my head. That wasn't what I meant at all.

"That's not what I meant. Do you remember the conversation we had in front of the cabin stairs?"

"...Yes."

"I… hmm… I've had a lot of time to think over the past three months. Seeing the world of Hall Plain, my thoughts have changed somewhat. Anyway, I won't be joining the Golden Lion Clan, or any other clan for that matter."

Even though I trailed off at the end, Han-Byeol, being sharp, caught on. She seemed to be processing my words for a moment, then looked at me with wide, surprised eyes. It was as if she had figured out what I was implying as quickly as her mind could work.

"Then... are you thinking about starting a new clan, oppa?"

"Something like that. I'm considering it. The others didn't get any invitations to join the Golden Lion Clan either. But more than that, I just wanted to stay together with everyone."

"I also..."

Just as I finished speaking, Han-Byeol, who had been about to say something reflexively, closed her mouth again. I could sense her breathing becoming a bit rough. Conflict was written all over her face. After biting her lip for a moment, she seemed to make up her mind and spoke in a slightly louder voice than usual.

"I feel the same. If I compare my thoughts before and after entering Hall Plain, I've gone through a lot of changes. During the rite of passage, you were amazing, oppa. Even after entering the player Academy, you proved how different and special you are compared to others. If anyone knows how capable you are, it's me. But…"

The word 'but'. It was the signal that she was about to say something important. I focused on her words, my expression serious.

"Hall Plain is a vast and overwhelming world. It's so wide that nothing is surprising, no matter what happens or where. It is not a place where one person's ability can solve everything like it was during the rite of passage. You might say that you're not alone, that you have three others."

I was about to say exactly that, but I closed my mouth and nodded instead. Han-Byeol, now with her usual calm expression, continued speaking as she gazed at me steadily.

"I'm not here to say whether you should or shouldn't do it. And I'm not trying to criticize you either. But... I still feel that even if you don't intend to, you end up carrying everything on your own. In Hall Plain, it's too dangerous for a group to rely entirely on one person."

Han-Byeol wasn't underestimating the abilities of the other three. What she was pointing out was my attitude, especially in connection with how the three others behaved. Essentially, her point was that no one can do everything alone—and she was right about that. But there was one thing she had overlooked.

She let out a deep breath, as if she had said everything she needed to. I took a moment to gather my thoughts, letting her catch her breath. Then, I slowly opened my mouth.

"You have a very rigid way of thinking, Han-Byeol."

"...What?"

"It's good to think logically, but you tend to go in only one direction."

"What are you suddenly talking about?"

"I'm saying, don't judge me and the others based on your own standards and measures."

Han-Byeol was startled by the sharpness of my voice, something she had never heard from me before, and quickly closed her mouth. I stared at her coldly. Her lips trembled slightly at the unfamiliar tone I was using, and though I felt a bit sorry, I had already decided to treat her as another player. As such, I would say what needed to be said.

"That's... I'm sorry. But I thought you and I were similar. Always rational..."

"Similar, huh? You might think so, but to me, especially when it comes to joining a clan, I don't see that as a rational choice. Particularly not with the Golden Lion Clan."

"...Why? Are you saying I'm wrong?"

"Is it really about being right or wrong? No matter what choice you make, there are pros and cons. Weighing those, taking into account your situation and the people around you, and then making the best possible decision—that's what I'd call a rational choice."

Han-Byeol was looking at the present and making a rational choice. I was looking at the past and future to make mine. It was a simple truth, but her face showed confusion. For the first time, I felt a sense of frustration looking at her. Right now, we don't understand each other at all.

"The Golden Lion Clan is the biggest clan on the Northern Continent. It's no secret, but they've already solidified their base and are preparing for the advance into the Iron Mountain Range. There's a huge difference from the start compared to banging your head against a brick wall. I honestly don't see any advantages to the path you're choosing, oppa."

"Who guarantees their advance into the Iron Mountain Range will succeed? They offered you a leadership recommendation, but have you thought about what that really means? No, more importantly, do you truly believe the people in the clan you're joining are trustworthy?"

I shot back with a sharp tone, and yet Han-Byeol listened quietly. A moment of silence passed between us, and a cold tension seemed to fill the air. Just as I was about to continue, she spoke first.

"Then, are you saying you're someone I can trust?"

"..."

One sentence. Just one. But in that moment, the subtle chill between us turned into a deep, freezing silence. All that could be heard was the sound of our breathing. Her face was a mix of emotions—frustration, sadness, regret. These were expressions I had never seen from her before. It was the first time since I'd met her that she displayed such a range of raw feelings.

I opened my mouth to speak, but my words were laced with the disappointment I couldn't hide.

"Back then, you asked me why I was doing all of this. If I had to answer that question again now, I would say..."

I paused.

"I wanted to be a protector for all of you. I wanted to give trust and to be trusted in return. By nature, I'm not someone who trusts others easily. So it's not like I didn't consider going alone. But, as you said, I knew full well that I can't do anything on my own. I couldn't turn away from that truth."

I took a breath to steady myself, then continued speaking.

"So, after making that decision, I wanted to at least choose the people who would start with me. People who trust me, and people I can trust in return. After all, it's a clan, right? If I'm creating a clan... I wanted at least one or two people who felt like family."

Han-Byeol's eyes wavered intensely as she listened to my words. Her lips trembled as if she wanted to say something, but before I knew it, the enormous Information Hall building came into view between us.

Once before, she and I had stood at a crossroads. Back then, she followed my choice. Now, we found ourselves at another fork in the road, just like before. I had already made my decision, but she had yet to choose.

We calmly climbed the stairs, and I grasped the handle of the front door. Han-Byeol still didn't make a move. As I gently pushed the door, it opened smoothly without a creak. I slowly stepped inside.

But I didn't hear her follow.

*

An Hyun and the others had already started drinking and were well into the party by the time I arrived. In the end, I didn't get the chance to bring up what I wanted to talk about that night. As I watched them laughing and joking around, I sighed inwardly. These guys had no idea about the weight of my thoughts, and that frustrated me a little. Carefree bunch.

Still, I didn't show my feelings on the outside. This might be one of the last nights like this. From tomorrow, the path ahead for me and the others will be far from easy. It would be a thorny road, one that might make the Player Academy seem like paradise in comparison. I was going to push myself and everyone else to the limit.

The drinking party eventually wrapped up. An Hyun and Yun-Jung had gotten so carried away with the fun that they ended up passing out. Thankfully, Sol was still sober, so we each carried one of them back to the dorms. After dumping An Hyun in a corner, I laid down on my bed, lost in thought.

After coming into Hall Plain, so many things had changed in my mind, and now there were too many things I needed to do. First and foremost, I needed to collect the mission reward points tomorrow and leave Babara as soon as possible. As I thought over my various plans, I drifted off to sleep.

And then, the next day dawned.

The graduation and discharge ceremony was, honestly, quite dull. They said a lot of things, but to summarize, it was mostly about congratulating us on our hard work and wishing us success in our future endeavors on the Northern Continent.

『You have completed the Player Academy in the great northern city of Babara. You have received 4 stat points as a mission reward.』

After the graduation ceremony ended and the reward points were distributed, the fate of the players became quite clear. Some received offers, while others didn't. Those who were scouted were welcomed into their new clans, while the rest were left standing around, looking helpless.

Even though there would likely be clans in smaller or medium-sized cities, not just in large cities, some players were still lingering around after the ceremony, looking a bit pitiful. It wasn't really my concern, though.

I wanted to head to the storage right away and collect the items I'd purchased with GP, but before I could, the others crowded around me. An Hyun, Yun-Jung, and Sol all gathered, and as the four of us stood together, I could feel the gazes of scouts from various clans fixed on us. Although we had already politely declined all the offers, it seemed they hadn't given up hope.

An Hyun, despite being somewhat overshadowed by me, Wu Jung-Min, and Seon Wu-Yun, had shown enough potential to attract attention from the clans. Yun-Jung's performance was also above average. Both of them received numerous offers from mid-sized clans, but they declined them all—apparently because of me.

To be honest, the real treasure among us was Sol. She had the potential to become the ''Brilliance Priest'', a pinnacle class for priest players, standing alongside figures like the Princess of Execution and the Queen of Shadows as one of the most powerful female players. Even if she didn't obtain this class, her starting stats—75 points in magic and 100 points in luck—were extraordinary merits.

Yet, despite this, Sol hadn't garnered much attention. According to An Hyun, she was struggling to control her magical power. That wasn't surprising, as it was normal for a novice player to have difficulty managing such high magic. But as time passed and she grew more accustomed to it, her true value would undoubtedly shine.

The scout from the Golden Lion Clan looked at the players with a bewildered expression. I later learned that their clan had extended offers to five new players during this recruitment. However, out of those five, only two accepted. The other three—including us—had turned them down.

"Sorry, but I've already been traveling with a group, and I can't join without them." I smoothly declined the last scout's offer. An Hyun and the others looked at me with a mix of guilt and regret, probably taking my words at face value. While this misunderstanding wasn't necessarily bad, it left me feeling uneasy. I figured it would be better to clear things up when the opportunity arose.

As we stepped out of the academy's front gate, the outside world was bustling with new and veteran players alike. Clan members from various groups, led by the Golden Lion Clan, displayed their clan insignias proudly.

Then, my attention was caught by a familiar scene: Lee Ji-young, her head held high, had apparently joined a fairly reputable clan. She was arrogantly flaunting herself in front of the players who hadn't received any offers, arms crossed next to an instructor. I couldn't help but think how ridiculous she looked. I wondered how her expression would change in six months, but for now, I decided to move on.

It crossed my mind that somewhere in this crowd, Kim Han-Byeol must be watching. I could feel a familiar gaze poking at me from earlier. Sure enough, when I turned in the direction of that gaze, there she was—watching me and my group. However, I no longer had any interest in keeping ties with her. Since it seemed like her position as a Jewel Mage was still a secret, I figured she'd decided to keep it under wraps for a while.

My group—An Hyun, Yun-Jung, and Sol—followed me closely, their faces full of anticipation. We were just about to leave the area when I heard someone calling my name. I stopped and turned to see Wu Jung-Min and his crew approaching. His first words made it clear—he too had declined the Golden Lion Clan's offer. It was easy to guess who the other two that refused the offer were (though I'd already had my suspicions).

During our brief conversation, Wu Jung-Min asked if I had any interest in joining forces with them for the time being. It was tempting, to be honest. A part of me thought it might be easier to wipe out the ''Crimson Canine Clan''—before they could consolidate power. However, before I could respond, Yun-Jung from my group and Won Hye-Soo from theirs made it clear that neither of them was interested, which quickly put an end to that discussion.

Won Hye-Soo was still giving me side glances, unable to let go of her feelings toward me. I could understand her emotions, but her constant passive-aggressiveness was getting tiresome. I had let it slide several times, but if she kept this up, I wasn't going to remain so lenient. For now, I decided to leave things on a peaceful note as we said our goodbyes.

As I glanced back, my own group was watching me with confused expressions. They had, after all, turned down good offers from decent clans to follow me. It was clear they weren't quite independent yet, still like fledgling birds following their mother. But the fact that they had stayed made me want to trust them—at least a little.

Before anything else, I needed to explain the next steps in our plan.

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