Lost and Found

By Lady Violu

Chapter 4

As we darted through the dense forest, our pounding footsteps echoed against the earth. Bella took the lead, and I trailed closely behind her. Toby lagged a few feet behind me, struggling to keep up. We darted between trees, shoving aside most low-hanging branches. Occasionally, I misjudged and felt a sharp scrape on my skin.

Suddenly, I caught sight of one of our old tents. “This way!” I shouted, pointing towards the tent. “We’re almost there!” The three of us veered towards the abandoned campsite.

Even as we hurried towards escape, my eyes scanned the surroundings for any missing person. I knew it was probably a futile effort, but I couldn’t stop looking.

Shortly after we passed through the abandoned camp, Bella stopped dead in her tracks. “It was right here.” She turned back to look at me. “The car is gone. We’re trapped.”

“Did… Toby?” Bella asked quietly as she stared out to the empty space behind me.

I looked behind me. He was gone now too.

“We’re going to die out here, aren’t we?” Her voice trembled as she spoke, tears streaming down her face.

I wanted to reassure her, tell her that everything would be okay, that everyone would be okay, but I couldn’t. Everything was too much. It felt like I was drowning; every time I tried to come up for air, another wave crashed over my head and sent me tumbling back down into the depths. I tried to find any reason in the madness, but there was nothing. Some thing had taken our friends one by one, and we were trapped out here with it.

My heart pounded in my chest. “We’re next.”

We were alone, defenseless, and completely powerless against whatever was out there. There wasn’t anything we could do except wait for it to happen.

My body went numb. It was all over.

“Patrick, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” I stared blankly at the sky.

“I know we’re probably about to die, but did being alive ever feel… wrong?”

“Yeah. I think everyone feels kind of wrong, there isn’t much that ever made me feel very nice…” I let out a pained laugh. “Well… except you all.”

If not for the encroaching threat of whatever was happening, it could have been a peaceful moment. The air was cool and calm, the leaves rustled quietly in the gentle breeze.

“I just wanted to be happy, music helped, but I can’t play forever.” She scoffed. “And I could never bring myself to actually sing. My voice sounds awful.”

“Bella, I don't know what to tell you. I’ve heard you sing before and you sound great--”

“No, Patrick, I don’t. My voice isn’t right. Not for what I want to do. Nobody wants to hear about another sadgirl.”

“I -- I can’t claim to know much about music or the music scene, but I’m sure that’s not true; I’m sure someone out there would appreciate your music.”

“That’s not the point. It’s not the music that I wanted to make.”

“But I thought you just--”

“I know what I said, but -- I don’t know how to explain it.” She paused, maybe to think about how to phrase it. “I want to have a different voice. This high pitched mess doesn’t work for what I want; I’ve tried, it never comes out right.”

I supposed that made sense. I tried to think of something to say to console her a bit, but she started talking again before I could.

“Do you like how your voice sounds?”

I scoffed. “Oh. God no. It feels all gross and rumbly in my chest and somehow it sounds even worse on recordings.”

She sat in silence for a moment, “Huh, I always thought that your voice sounded nice.”

“Well… I don’t know. Maybe nobody likes how their voice sounds.”

“Maybe… Hey, Patrick?”

“Yeah?”

Her voice was barely a whisper. “Was being a boy nice?”

I shifted uncomfortably on the ground. “That’s a weird question. Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering. I’ve been a girl my whole life, does it not make sense to wonder what it’s like on the other side?”

She had a point; I couldn’t help but be curious in the same way. And seeing as we were both probably about to die... “I guess it’s okay? I mean, I guess I don’t have anything else to compare it to, so I don’t know.”

“Yeah You’re probably right” she sighed. “What about you? Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be a girl?”

I wanted to lie and tell her no, but there was no point in being embarrassed anymore; after all, we were about to die. “Yeah. A lot, to be honest.”

“Really?”

“Oh totally. I mean, it seemed like a whole different world! Who wouldn’t wonder what it’s like. I just… never asked because that feels creepy. How am I supposed to ask any woman ‘What it’s like’? That’s so weird!”

Bella chuckled. “I see your point.” She paused. “You could have asked me, we’re friends.”

We sat in silence for a while. I felt guilty. I should have trusted her more. Been more honest with her.

I needed to apologize.

“Bella?”

She didn’t respond.