Lost and Found

By Lady Violu

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Chapter 6

The world melted away around me and I felt numb. For a moment I just floated in the nothingness, but gravity had other plans for me and my feet touched down on the ground.

I was not in the same place I had been before pressing the button. Instead of the clearing Wyatt and I had been in a moment ago, I was standing in front of a little cabin nestled comfortably between the trees. Wyatt stood on the front porch with one hand on the door. He looked excited about something.

“What just happened?” That wasn’t my voice. I looked down and nearly had a heart attack.

I was a girl. The button fucking worked.

“It was real?”

Wyatt rolled his eyes. “Well yeah, I told you I was a witch.”

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be telling the truth! I thought that you were just some guy who went insane from living in the forest!”

He looked hurt. “Well that’s rude.”

“Change me back,” I demanded.

“You wanted to be a girl!”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I get to be a girl.”

He muttered something under his breath, but it didn’t make any sense. Why would he be talking about eggs anyway?

“Just… you wanted to be a girl and now you are. Don’t question it and just enjoy it. Okay?”

“Fine, but just so you know it’s really fucked up that you used all this magic on me and not an actual trans girl.”

He gave me another glare, “Whatever. Your friends are inside, go on in, I’ll stay out here while you reintroduce yourselves.” He opened the door.

I wasted no time sprinting into the building. Inside sat a group of people who I didn’t recognize save for Toby and Charlie.

It only took a moment for me to realize what was happening, but it was clear that these were all my friends. One of the girls stood up, “Hey! we’ve been waiting for you!”

I studied her face. She was wearing Ross’s glasses, “Ross?”

She smiled weakly. “It’s Rose now.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean--”

She stopped me. “Don’t worry about it. What else would you have called me?” She laughed.

I rushed forward and hugged her. “What happened!? I -- we were so worried about you!”

She hugged me back. “After you saw me take my estrogen, I was a little anxious, so I left to get some air and then I met Wyatt!”

“Estrogen?” I asked.

“Yeah, the pills I took were estrogen, not antidepressants, sorry for lying, I didn’t know that you were trans too!” She smiled at me and looked back at everyone else. “Apparently we all are…”

Toby made a noise.

“Except Toby,” she clarified.

“And me,” I added. “I’m not trans.”

Rose looked me up and down with a skeptical look on her face. “And you’re sure about that?”

“Yes. I’m sure!” Why did nobody believe that I was just a normal guy? “Just because I want to be a girl does not mean that I’m trans.”

“That is… the definition of being transgender.” She looked like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “What do you think being trans is?”

“Well, clearly it’s when your body doesn’t match your internal gender. not when you just want to be another gender like me,” I explained. “Actual trans people are their gender on the inside and get to be trans. I, on the other hand, just want to be a girl and therefore am not trans. It’s simple.”

“Oh. I see.”

Finally, someone understood what I meant!

“You just want to be a girl, right?”

I nodded.

“Do you want to know how I knew that I was trans? It’s because I wanted to be a girl.”

“That can’t be it, there has to be something else, I’m not -- I’m not allowed to --”

She interrupted me, her voice stern. “You’re allowed to be whatever the hell you want to be”

I blinked. Surely that couldn’t be true. There had to be a better way to know for sure. I hadn’t been wasting my time all along, right?

“Now, tell me, are you a girl?”

I nodded slowly.

“Say it. Out loud,” she demanded.

“I’m a girl…”

“Louder. Show me some confidence!”

“I am a girl.”

“And what’s your name?”

I paused for a moment. Oh fuck… I hadn’t thought about that in a while.

“Natalie?”

Rose smiled. “Great choice, Nat.” She placed her palm on my head and ruffled my hair.

My cheeks burned bright red. She had no right being this much taller than me now. We used to both be about the same height, but now she was a decent bit taller than me. I hadn’t made much note of it until then, but I had to tilt my head upward to meet her gaze. Had I gotten shorter? Or maybe she had gotten taller? What if it was both? I shook the thought from my head, that wasn’t important.

My attention shifted to the group on the other side of the room who had been quietly watching Rose and I talk. I waved nervously at them.

“Damn, Natalie, your eggshell was thick,” one of the new boys said, stifling a laugh. Bella? It seemed like that was Bella, but that definitely wasn’t his name anymore.

“Why is everyone talking about eggs recently? Also, I’m going to need everyone’s new names so I can stop calling you the wrong things in my head.”

“Oh right. I’m Logan!” He reintroduced himself to me. “And… eh- we can save the explanation of eggs for later.”

“Okay? Who next?” I asked.

“I’m still Charlie,” Charlie said. “And this is Sol, they--”

“I can introduce myself, Charlie,” they hissed. “I am non-binary, they/them please.”

I shot Charlie a confused look. “Wait? Still Charlie? I thought Rose said everyone except for Toby was trans. You aren’t changing your name?”

“Yep, Charlie is gender-neutral, and I’m fluid, so choosing a more gendered name doesn’t make a ton of sense to me!” He beamed. “Oh! I’m a boy right now, by the way.”

I nodded. “Okay, got it.”

I looked to the final member of the group, our resident athlete. “Benjamin. Or Ben for short.”

“Cool! Well, everyone already heard that my name is Natalie.” I looked at all of them for a moment before completely breaking down. “I’m so glad that everyone is okay,” I sobbed, almost collapsing to the ground. Rose caught me and held me upright before carrying me to a couch.

“It’s okay,” she soothed. “We’re all here! Everyone is fine!”