Modern Awakening - A cultivation, LitRPG, apocalyptic novel

Shen flew to the city center beside the guard. The man—of the unan race—introduced a few things to him like a guide. Shen listened but didn't make small talk. The guard wouldn't be fun to defeat, so he was beneath Shen's desire to care.

The city was called Alaans. It had more beauty than the Void town, with architecture that reminded him of Arabic ones on Earth; at least, it used light colors and a lot of arcs. However, everything was still... mundane. Unfit. Beneath him.

Shen frowned. He had forgotten to report the Void. Once more, he had gotten caught up in himself.

That bothered him deeply.

He had been willing to risk his life coming here through the skies but got sidetracked at the first opportunity. This level of self-centrism was not agreeable to most of his existence. He didn't know what his Will was, but he could tell it was in the center of his being. He also noticed his egocentrism came from it. He sought to fulfill his Ultimate Goal, his Purpose, his Will with everything he had, often forgetting he was more than his Will alone.

That wouldn't be allowed. He was more. To deny this truth was to become no more than Reality's mindless puppet—because, as far as anyone knew, Reality decided people's Wills when they were created. The thought made him both sick and angry. He would not allow that.

Shen willed it, and his True Self clenched.

His... not respect. His Honor became thicker and firmer around his Will. He couldn't see his True Self, but he could detect his Will and the surrounding layer of Honor, and he forced the latter to filter and guide his Will better. His Ultimate Purpose would be accomplished in his life, but through means the rest of his True Self approved of.

Shen was his True Path, and changing himself like that was like grabbing and twisting his heart and soul. His chest exploded, starting at the heart, and a head-sized hole appeared in his soul.

Red Tribulation Lightning immediately burst forth from his True Self, filling his body and soul. It was only visible for less than an instant and only because Shen felt it. All his external senses told him nothing had changed. Now, they detected only flesh and soul where the Heavenly Lightning filled him.

The pain was indescribable, much greater than what he had felt when trying to remove the lightning from his body. Yet, the "healing" was faster, for he wasn't moving against the Heavens.

He fainted and woke up, without a trace of pain, almost instantaneously. If not for his internal senses feeling the lightning where there should be more of his body and soul, he would doubt it had happened.

It had happened, though, and Shen despaired for the first time—he realized he was being either unmade or consumed by the Heavens.

He stopped flying ahead and checked himself. He could move as if he had no injuries. He noticed nothing wrong with his mind. He could even circulate his qi through the lightning as if it was his body, and his techniques worked.

However, he knew of no treasure or technique that could heal that much damage to his soul. Maybe an S-rank resource or being could help him. He doubted he had enough time to find anything ranked S or the strength to obtain it.

His True Self had changed as he wanted. Or rather, his True Center had—the metaphysical whole that was both deep inside him and was everything he was. The sphere which he could feel only two layers of—his Will and his Honor.

He shouldn't have been able to alter his True Self as he had just done. Now, he knew it. Before, it had felt natural to do so.

Shen analyzed his new existence. His Honor had become the most crucial piece of his morals. His morals were the set of beliefs through which his cognitive, emotional, and volitive expressions were determined. They were affected by his Will but also restricted it. Or rather, both seemed to affect and restrict each other.

He couldn't see the rest of his morality, but he suspected that increasing the importance of his Honor had also affected how he saw other things. Likewise, his morals became less influenced by his Will.

"...Esteemed Guest?" The guy, Univari, said. He had stopped flying and was asking something.

His fear was evident. Shen was C-rank; he was D-rank. The city's ruler was also C-rank and getting better from an injury. If Shen wanted, he could do much damage to this place.

Shen was surprised to find he felt... guilty. It had felt natural for his Power to command—

Power.

The word spread through his True Self like a ripple of ecstasy. "Power" wasn't his entire Will, but it was part of it. He recognized it as soon as he thought of it.

His Will tried to use that moment to grow stronger, and if not for Shen's recent actions, it would've overwhelmed him. Instead, it was kept under check by his Honor.

Thus, Shen felt pure fear.

This was a Heavenly Tribulation with rules he didn't know. He had just almost died by half-fulling the Tribulation's goal, finding his Will. And that just after injuring himself while changing himself into the thing that had prevented his death—the tighter Honor self.

There was no winning this Tribulation; there was only paying a hefty price—

The ripple of Power finished going through his True Self, and his Will pulsated. The fear immediately decreased—as did half the Heavenly Lightning currently in his True Center. His body, soul, and mind were still held together by lightning, but its influence to affect his thoughts and feelings was greatly diminished.

Decreasing was not dissipating, though; he was still afraid. The unknown was scary enough without having to trust the Heavens to keep him alive after the tribulation. He hated everything about it.

Shen didn't like those negative emotions. He should face the future bravely and uncaringly. He almost recalled moments when he had lived such a life, places where he had felt unbidden by anything.

In fact, it was almost like what his True Boundlessness whispered to him to feel. But his True Boundlessness, as much as it was one of his Laws and himself, was not the whole of himself nor more important than any other Law.

His existence had changed; he looked at the uncertain future over which he had no control and allowed himself to feel slightly anxious about it. It was alright. It was...

Drow?

Drowsiness hit for a second. No. Drow controlled their feelings until B-rank. To feel anxious was ridiculous. Then again, he was almost sure suppressing his feelings would lead to more significant issues in the future. He was drow, but not a puppet of the...

Drow leadership?

Red lightning flared, and Shen's memories were blocked by the remaining lightning in his True Center. He wouldn't be allowed to know anything about the drow leadership for now.

Anyway, he felt guilty for not caring about how his Power affected Univari. In fact, his aura was deployed to its maximum length, reaching over half the city, and most cultivators in range despaired when they felt it upon them.

Shen retracted it and turned to look at Univari, who breathed lighter. Shen smiled. Doing this felt right to a part of himself that had been suppressed until now.

He nodded. "I'm better now, thanks. You were saying?"

Despite his smile, Shen also felt he had lost a part of himself. Something fundamental had changed. Something that had once bothered him but not overly much—

He realized what it was: his pride.

Shen still approved of himself and felt good about his Power, but not as much as before. Paradoxically, he also disapproved less of his current power levels. He wasn't pathetic, only imperfect.

He noticed he had reached a level of balance and harmony with himself that felt almost mystical to his beliefs—though he couldn't enumerate all of said beliefs.

Shen had lost part of himself, but he was glad for it. He had improved. Of course, some philosophical considerations might wonder if he could even disapprove of himself with his current self, considering it was also less judgmental about his existence. Still, ironically, he didn't care for such considerations.

"Can I assist you in any way, Esteemed Guest?" Univari asked.

"I must report Void activity," Shen said, and briefly explained what he had seen.

Univari seemed rather nonchalant about it. He nodded and made a few hand gestures to one of the cultivators manning a watchtower. That was it.

"A VSU will be deployed soon, Esteemed Guest. Thank you for your report."

"VSU?"

"Void-Supressing Unit, Esteemed Guest." Noticing Shen's confused look, he continued, "Members of the Gardener Sect specialized in removing the Void influence from the Myriad Worlds. The Myriad Worlds are at the edge of the Alliance with the Void. Some people experiment with things they shouldn't, but we all trust the Gardener and his sect to protect us."

"I see. Do you have many Void Spawn issues?"

"No, Esteemed Guest. Void Spawn don't appear here. The Gardener doesn't allow it."

"I take it this Gardener is an S-rank overseeing the entire Myriad Worlds?" Shen guessed

"Yes, Esteemed Guest."

Shen wanted to ask more, but he had other priorities at the moment. "I seem to really need some clothes," he said. "As much as I don't mind my nakedness, people are staring, and some clearly disagree."

Indeed, he didn't care about his undressing state. As usual, he felt an echo of a feeling that told him he would've cared about it in times past. His sense of personal propriety was linked to moral beliefs that were currently absent or repressed by others after the changes in his True Center. Thus, they didn't matter. He would clothe himself because society believed in it, not because he felt it was of any importance—though, of course, not freely offending people and their culture was of some importance if he cared about their looks and opinions.

"Of course, Esteemed Guest," Univari promptly agreed and resumed flying. "This way, please."

Shen noticed his pride had not been entirely erased. It felt proper for someone with strength to be treated with extra courtesy by the weak. Although it also felt right to treat the weak politely, this level of reverence was different. Power did beget appreciation—he, himself, should be respectful to B-ranks. He wouldn't lash out against anyone who didn't give him such courtesy, but the extra respect made him look at Univari and Pagarti with kinder eyes.

Univari led Shen to a building not far from the humongous palace in the city center. The big mansion, also of Arabic-like architecture, had wide arcs and a beautiful garden. Univari landed on a corridor's balcony and presented a closed door to Shen.

"Esteemed Guest, this building will be yours for the tenure of your permanence in Alaans. I'll wait for you outside. I'll show you the city at your earliest convenience."

Shen nodded. In hindsight, he could've treated the City Lord better and properly haggled the price for removing the alien Laws from the guy's body. Instead, he had just made demands. He was no different from a bully.

Finding Pagarti to apologize now would be awkward, so Shen would just roll with it and be polite in other matters.

"Thank you," he said and entered the room.

The place was huge. The walking closet had garments of all kinds, all of his size, and all E+ items, if he guessed right from the qi in their enchantments. Univari or Pagarti had evidently sent someone in advance to prepare everything to Shen.

Shen wore simple clothes. He picked a light beige cultivator robe and brown leather boots and left, still holding his makeshift spear. He would have to find a way to earn money and buy a better weapon after the tribulation was over—or before, if it didn't end in a few days. This one would suffice for most fights, but a stronger spear would let him focus his qi on something other than keeping his weapon whole during a battle.

He met Univari outside the mansion, and the two went on a city tour.