ALL NOVEL 428. Change
Change.
Change is one of the three Aspects of Reality. Nothing in Reality can escape pure, unadulterated Change. Things may form in creation with barely a hint of Space or Will, but not without Change. The very act of forming something new means something Changed from its previous state, and thus, Change becomes part of its existential foundation.
Change.
Space and Change lead to Time. At least, that's how Reality Expresses that union nowadays. It was different in a time before Time, or so some theorize. It will be different one day when the way Reality Expresses itself also Changes.
Change.
Even Reality will Change one day. Change will, by its very nature, shift into something else one day. That it hasn't yet is the greatest miracle of all creation. Or is it? There is no concept of "yet" for Change because Change is above the Time it births. Perhaps, for the Aspects of Reality, the seemingly infinite moments that resemble eternity to every creature are nothing but an instant when the Three Aspects just happened to simultaneously come to be and then disappeared. It feels long because all Time that was, is, and will ever be came to exist then and there, then shall cease.
Change.
Change was forced upon Shen time and time again during his tribulation. Quickly. Unceasingly. Overwhelmingly. Things happened so fast he couldn't fully process. So much happened that he ended up as something he couldn't recognize. He should've died. He was saved. The boy who sought the independence found with Absolute Power was humbled by depending on people to survive during the weakness brought to him by his own stupidity.
Such are the thoughts that run wild in Shen's mind as he comes to be in infinite darkness.
He can see himself despite the lack of light because he is in a place beyond Laws. He knows the next tribulations in the Deep Path will be about Will and Space. He wasn't told that by any mysterious power pushing knowledge into his mind. Still, it's a logical conclusion because he was told the name of the tribulation he has just undergone:
The Selection of Change.
He also knows how said Selection is named in the Lagoth Multiverse: Tribulation of Remaking. It comes right after the Baptism of Unmaking that was forced upon him.
Unmaking. Remaking. The Un'Re spear. E'vania had been a little too in the face with that one.
Shen remembers everything both from before and after his death. He recalls the women he interacted with, from Alicia to Liya to E'livia. The splendorous beauty of the Queen of Spring and Autumn does little to mute E'livia's voluptuous temptation. Liya and even Alicia have their own unique qualities. Shen realizes that he cares little about being the partner of the most breathtaking woman. As long as he has selected someone, and that someone wants to be with him, she'll be the most beautiful to him. He isn't even against picking someone who doesn't conform to his beauty standards, though he finds that unlikely to happen. Physical attractiveness is a big motivator for him to get to know someone—and he doesn't feel guilty about it. He's a biological being. Selection factors are natural. Nothing wrong with that.
Or is he a biological being?
Somewhat. At least, he is no longer One Self. He can see himself in the darkness, and he is a body with a soul—and a soul with a mind. He can rationalize and feel things separately.
This is an immense mercy given by the True Heavens. He isn't sure he wanted his tyrannical One Self to make any critical decisions in his life, and this place is related to a very crucial decision indeed.
He isn't alone in the darkness. Three spheres float before him. Each represents a Path that he once walked.
He can pick whichever one he wants; the Selection of Change also Changed the usual dynamic of Selections. He can Select the rendition of his Path he wants as much as he was Selected by the Heavens.
The first sphere is his long-gone True Path, the last form of the Shalow Path he once formed. His Will of Absolute Power is in the middle, surrounded by his Laws and emotions. His Laws are perfectly balanced with each other in superimposing spirals. True Boundlessness is balanced by cutting through the middle like a spear.
That is a Path of beauty. Pure art. Shen could reach far if he walked it.
The second is his Ethereal Whole. It's an imbalanced, ugly thing. His Will of Absolute Power, the Truth of Limits, and the Anti-Law of True Boundlessness keep each other in check, with everything else mixed in the middle. It works. He abhors it. At least, he hates the Truth of Limits. He shall never be limited like that again.
In fact, he can't be limited like that again.
The Ghost Doctor affected his essence permanently. True Boundlessness is in his essence. It's more closely connected to him than his Will, which is the reason for his existence and his ultimate goal. It defines him and makes picking any of those two Paths a risk. Who knows what will happen when they react to his now-Changed essence?
At first glance, that means only the third sphere can be picked. The third Path is the one he is currently walking. It's his One Self. Shen sees it, but he can't comprehend what he is seeing. He isn't even sure it's a sphere. He sees emotion, and emotion is everything. He sees the mind, and the mind is everything. He sees each individual Law, and they are everything. They don't shift between each other. They aren't superimposed. They are all there, simultaneously, occupying the entire Path. Yet, they are also not all there simultaneously; each one is the plenitude of his Path by themselves and not parts of a whole.
Only his One Self can safely accommodate the essence that the Ghost Doctor forced upon him because it was formed with that already being a thing.
Yet, his One Self is the one Path he will never pick. He'll never allow himself to become someone who preys upon the weak. His Absolute Power will never be used for that. He would rather die—and die he did.
Considering he also abhors the second Path, the first seems like the obvious remaining choice. However, choosing any of the first two Paths means regression. Actual time travel.
Time is but something the Aspects Express of their communion. They can manipulate it at will. The Selection of Change will revert time for him if he picks any Path other than the third.
What most would consider a blessing comes with a catch: he will be limited to the Grand Path of whichever Path he picks: either the Grand Path of the Heavens or the Grand Path of Ideals.
The first Path means being locked into the Grand Path of the Heavens. How could Shen accept that? He doesn't care if the Unifier Realm, which is above the Divine Mandatary Realm and can only be reached by Severing oneself and walking the Grand Path of Ideals, is a myth. He cannot accept ever being one with the High Heavens if that means being forever limited by the True Heavens. Nigh absolute power over a multiverse is no true absolute power. His Will demands all or nothing. True Boundlessness, now part of his essence, will also not accept being bound such.
There's an argument to be made that he can find a way around the True Heavens' rule in the future, but it's a weak one. The power which one gains in the Grand Path of the Heavens is obviously a concession from the Low, then High Heavens. There's evidently an element of merging with the Heavens in there. Even S-ranks—or Ascenders—who push their Paths to the Low Heavens are called Pillars. They become part of the underlying structure of the Low Heavens. They become one with the Heavens.
Considering this is the Selection of Change, it's fitting how Shen has to decide between accepting to be part of Reality as it is or keeping his potential to Change it in the future. Ultimately, this is what this Selection of Change is about—at least, for him. By its very nature, this Selection is unique for each individual, though it always has to do with Change—then again, maybe even that Changes sometimes.
Anyway, it seems he can only die in the end.
Ironically, he cannot Change the way this Selection works. Then again, he doesn't need to. As soon as he rejects the choices laid before him, he is informed there's another way. There always were, though it's only revealed to those who refuse the three choices so thoroughly and decisively as him.
Shen can pick one thing from any Path before him and Change it before selecting it. It feels a bit too nice of the True Heavens, but it's, in fact, one of the available rewards for passing the tribulation—and tribulations consistently reward the one who passes them. Now that he was given this boon, he shall never know the other possible rewards. He will also forget what happened in this place after he leaves. Everyone does.
He looks at the third Path, his One Self, which he can't understand. Yet, the True Heavens help him, and he comes to know exactly what he has to do to achieve any result he might imagine—and the consequences for the rest of himself should he do it.
Back in Reality, even glimpsing such secrets behind his One Self would be enough to blow his mind. Literally. A C-rank's mind—or rather, a Lawful Dominator's mind, as it's called in the Shaft—cannot comprehend such things. Pushing that knowledge into such a weak mind would be like blowing a balloon too much.
Here, he doesn't even feel any discomfort. Shen looks at his One Self, and it's laid bare to him.
It doesn't take long for him to marvel at the endless possibilities of this unique boon he has received. This reward... It's almost too much. He can change his Path to make all his Laws become mastered. He can also give himself a Realization—even without mastered Laws. Shen can even swap his Will for something new that won't push him into becoming a tyrant.
He thinks of countless ways to improve himself.
He decides on what to do.
He will swap True Boundlessness out of his essence and replace it with his Will of Absolute Power. Something needs to be there for him to survive. His foundations are too weak. True Boundlessness will revert to being only a Law in his Path.
It should be impossible for a Will to become a metaphysical part of his essence because it's not "solid" enough. It is as impossible as having Realization without a mastered Law. Yet, the True Heavens don't care.
Change is an Aspect of Reality. It's okay for Reality to Change a little to accommodate his wishes.
Shen feels the Change happening physically. It's wondrous, like feeling the reverberations of colossal rusty gears turning after remaining the same for so long. It's humbling, like feeling all of Reality is nothing but a paper drawing that an artist decided to color slightly differently.
It happens in an instant. Just like that, in the blink of an eye, some of the most fundamental rules of Reality have Changed.
The anticlimax terrifies him. He has never felt so small. If forces he can't even begin to comprehend can be toyed like that by the Aspect of Change, can anyone ever truly hope to escape its grasp? Will a Unifier ever be capable of really triumphing over the True Heavens?
A force like that can unmake him just as easily as it rewrote Reality. It can make it as if he never existed in the first place. How real is he, even? Is the illusion of Time really just an illusion, a collective dream of beings that never were as the Aspects meet for a fleeting instant? Is he just some sort of toy created for the amusement of some force beyond even the three Aspects of Reality?
Whatever the answers might be, it's done.
He merges with his One Self.
The darkness starts to fade into colors.
All the memories previously blocked by the tribulation remain with him as he returns to E'livia's embrace. Even the memories of his time as a human, which he lost during his Baptism of Unmaking, remain. The memories will no longer place his Path in conflict with his drow body. His identity has been cemented as his One Self. In fact, his drow race is but a Persona that others see, not his legitimate One Self.
Shen opens his eyes and knows he has passed the hidden last step of the Selection of Change. He was lied to. There was no going back in Time; Change would accept it. He could only pick the last Path or do what he did, Change a Path to fit him.
Change is a facet of existence. As he was told when he formed in that dark space, nothing can be without Change. He had to accept it to some level to pass the test.
He forgets everything he experienced in the darkness except the change he made to his One Self. His mind goes back to the way it was.
He's still in the arms of a crying E'livia.
He's still alive.