Moonlit Waters

I'm in my school, standing in my classroom by the seat I usually sit in.

But everything looks different.

Dim light plunges the room in a reddish shade of brown, the floor is cracked. Wood is splintered, the blackboard has fallen off its hinges, the glass is shattered. Flakes of ash float in the air lazily.
I'm the only one in the room. No bodies, no sounds that indicate the presence of even a single living soul besides me.

At the edge of my mind, there is the vague knowledge that this room should look different.

With slow steps, I walk to the window. The world outside lies in twilight too.

The thick layer of clouds, that shuts out the sun, is the colour of dried blood.

The world underneath looks apocalyptic. Trees have burned down, leaving only charred stumps.
There is no grass, there are no bushes or flowers. Where there was once a climbing frame in the schoolyard, there is now only a large crater.

Where is everybody?

My breath grows ragged and I turn to leave the classroom.

Quick, hasty steps carry me through the school, searching every classroom for even a single occupant. But there are none.

Wheezing for breath, pressing my hand against my left side to fight the stitch, I step out onto the schoolyard.

Not a single soul.

Panic overcomes me. What happened?

Ignoring the pain in my lungs, I begin running.

The school is quite far away from my home town. Several miles. We usually take the bus to get there, some parents drive their kids.

Despite that, it barely seems to take me five minutes to get home.

On my way, I encounter burned-down car wrecks, standing as charred landmarks in the barren surroundings.

But the town isn't any better. Houses have broken down into heaps of rubble, others have burned down, leaving only bricks and ashes to attest their former existence. Others have somehow been left standing during the initial catastrophe, but seem to have since fallen to time and weather. Roofs have collapsed; windows burst.

I feel like they're watching me, the ruins. The black holes in their walls seem like eyes that follow my every step with malicious intent.

My house still stands. The roof has only partially collapsed and it doesn't look like it was affected by the fire.

The inside is devastated. Shards of glass cover the floor in a thin layer, crunching under each of my steps. The TV is broken on the floor, the kitchen table has been thrown on its side, like a barricade to protect against something you can't be protected from.

I don't stay downstairs for long. Taking three steps at a time, I run up the stairs.

But there is nobody there, either.

The door to my sister's room isn't there anymore and I don't have to enter her room to see the damage.

The frame of her bed is cracked. There's a large spot on her mattress that I don't look closely enough at to assess whether it's a burn or blood. Her favourite plushy, a bear named Tibbers, has fallen off the bed. It is dirty and its lower half has been torn, the filling spilling out onto the floor.

I avert my gaze before I see too much.

I feel sick.

The door to my parent's room is wide open. The bed looks okay, but the covers are disturbed, the blanket thrown onto the floor carelessly.

There's a crack in the wall next to my head, where once used to hang a photo of Pearl and I swimming at the lake. I was five then. It stings to know it will never be seen again.
I used to be happy then.

Out of all the rooms I've seen so far, mine has been hit worst.

Some sort of explosion must have taken the panes right out their frames. The wall opposite the windows is charred. My closet has partially burned down, all that's left of my blanket are black scraps.

Why?

Why is everybody gone?

I leave the house running, but all that's left where Alex's house used to be, is a crater. A large one at that, the surrounding buildings partially collapsed into it.

The youth hostel is still where I expect it to be. But everything inside has burned. All that's left standing, are the walls.

The floors have partially collapsed and it's difficult to get up the stairs. But I make it. Isa told me what room she and her parents were staying in.

But the room is empty. The mattresses on the bunk beds are mouldy and there is more give under my steps than I like.

Still, my feet carry me into the room and to one of the windows. From here, I have the perfect view out onto the lake.

It is still there, the rocks in the middle undisturbed. The water is rippled by the winds and only dimly reflects the sky. It is dirty, probably gone sour, but it is still there.

Suddenly, there is hope. Hope gives me the strength I need to run down to the lake and wade out hastily until the water is too deep and I fall.

But I don't stay underwater. With quick movements, I get back to the surface and crawl through the water. It's not usually my preferred style, but I can't afford to be slower than that.

Soon, I arrive at the rocks. I stand on the rough surface underwater and look up at the formation.

There's nobody here, either. Nobody.

I'm alone.

All hope leaves me.

My breath still ragged, my heart still pounding, I wade forward.

Until my hands collide with something. A foreign object in the water, neither overgrown with algae, nor some sort of fish.

My groping fingers feel flesh and skin. Then a piece of fabric lazily floating around an arm.
My stomach sinks. Nausea overcomes me. Fear makes my chest tight.

Still, my feet move forward to find more secure footing and my arms work to lift the dead person's face to the surface.

I see it through the dirty water. First, only a shimmer of white skin. Then the features. A straight nose, a small mouth, a jaw less angled than mine. Then the blonde, flowing hair.

In my shivering arms, I'm holding Selena's lifeless body.

-

I wake up with a start.

My heart is racing. My breath is fast and shallow. My vision keeps going in and out of focus.

And then, memory hits me and a deep, primal fear pierces me to the core.

Before I know it, I'm on my feet. I stumble, almost fall when I lose my balance as blood gives in to the pull of gravity.

But I don't stop.

With white spots dotting my vision, I run down the stairs. I throw the door open, unable to take the time to close it silently and run down the street with long steps.

It's dark. The rain has let up, right now it's nothing more than a drizzle.

At the edge of my consciousness, I take in the fact that I'm barefoot and that I'm still wearing the dress. I'm grateful for the dark. I'm grateful that there's nobody around to see me. But I don't stop.

I run. Only when my lungs hurt and my sides sting do I slow a little. But I don't stop.

My steps carry me into the forest. I feel thorns tear at my bare legs and feet as I leave the narrow path, but I don't stop.

Wet leaves and pine needles stick to my feet. Again and again, branches appear out of nowhere and I raise both arms to shield my face.

I fall several times. I'm sure my dress is torn in several places. But I don't stop.

And then, I hear the familiar sound of rushing water.

As if guided by the gods trying to light my path, the clouds tear and the pond is illuminated by a beautiful, silvery light.

Water splashes as I reel into the pond. I only make it three steps before collapsing.

I can't breathe.

My chest is tight. My heart hurts.

I clutch at my neck as the skirt of my dress floats around me.

She's gone. Dead.

Hot tears running down my face form a stark contrast to the cold clutching greedily at my lower half.

She has left me.

Never again will I feel the comfort of that beautiful body. Never again will being feel right.

I have lost. I am lost.

Just the way I used to be before the comet came.

I'm right back at square one.

And then I feel it.

My breath catches as an all too familiar sensation of change spreads through my body.

And suddenly, I'm not just crying. I'm balling my eyes out, hiccuping sobs of happiness. A hand – it must be mine – clutches at my left breast as if trying to affirm time and time again, that this is real.

The other lifts a handful of my damp hair up to my nose, eagerly taking in the smell that doesn't really smell of anything, yet still fits so much better than what I smelled like before.

As the dizziness and headache lift away, I settle into the water, welcoming it against my body.