Moonlit Waters

“Hey, babe,” I say as the telltale sound of somebody entering the voice chat rings through my headphones. “Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.”

There’s a moment of silence on the other end of the line and I have to try very hard to keep a straight face.

“Me-n-u in the duo queue,” he replies and I can hear the deadpan face he’s making right at then.

It’s also the moment I can’t hold back anymore and break into a small giggling fit.

I’ve left Claire’s hours ago but the good mood has accompanied me home. The rest of the evening had been a lot of fun. Claire had finished my make-up while the others applied theirs and we did a photoshoot in those wildly different outfits. I’m pretty sure there’s even a photo where I lean against Emma, her hand on my butt as I smooch her on the cheek. Then, when was already past midnight, Claire put on a horror movie and Mika fell asleep after only fifteen minutes of it.

Claire took a picture of us making weird faces around the sleeping girl and we stayed up a little longer, but soon realised that none of us were likely to finish the movie in a waking state. So we cleaned off our make-up and changed into more comfortable clothes and arranged ourselves around the slightly snoring Mika.

In the morning, I woke up with Mika’s head resting on my calf and Claire snuggled up against my back. I was the first to wake up and had to stay in the same position for easily twenty minutes before Mika began stirring.

In spite of the awkward positions some of us had slept in, the mood at the breakfast table was great. Claire’s Dad and Mum were there too, but neither of them participated much in the conversation we were having.

“So, how did the sleepover go?” Alex asks as the queue pops.

“Good!” I reply enthusiastically. “Like, it was just great and so much fun. Claire has this small room next to hers just filled to the brim with clothes and we spent hours just putting together outfits and goofing around. Claire even tried teaching me a little about make-up but I’m just terrible at it.” I’m not really frustrated about it though. I began practicing yesterday, expecting to be terrible with all of my heart.

“Don’t you think that’s a question of practice rather than talent? I mean, I’ve never used any of those things so I can’t say for sure but it really seems like that.”

I nod, even though he can’t see it. “I guess so.” The ban phase begins and I do a little speedrun where it takes me less than two seconds to ban Yuumi. The little bastard cat. “What do you wanna play?” I ask then.

“Oh, I’m kinda open… What do you wanna play?”

I lean back and pinch my lower lip, staring intently at the neat rows of little portraits with names underneath. “Janna or Rakan? If you wanna, I could also play Thresh.” I feel like playing something difficult.

“You sure you don’t wanna first time that Pyke?”

“Oh hell nah!” I’ve always kept well away from the support-assassin. Taking over the carry role just doesn’t sit quite right with me.

“Okay. Then let’s go windwoman emoboy.”

It’s grown to become a bit of a standard combination for the two of us. I’ve gotten better and better at Janna and so has he with Aphelios.

The game loads and he tells me about the new patch that’s coming up next week. A juicy set of nerfs and buffs that are bound to thoroughly shake up the meta.

I complain about the Yuumi buffs and the Rakan nerfs, acting like it’s the literal end of the world when really I don’t care. I’m happy, I’m with Alex. Outside, the rain has let up and right at that moment, the clouds tear and light falls onto my desk, warming my left on the keyboard.

We arrive in lane and the game begins properly. I help Alex with killing the minions and occasionally place tornados to keep the opponent from getting theirs.

Not much happens until level three, when the enemy support – Pyke, a mean-looking assassin – flings his hook out of a brush and just barely catches me with it. I get pulled towards him and he leaps, trying to lock me in place with his third ability, but I manage to dodge just barely by running upwards, into their side of the lane, instead of my own.

“Get him,” I say and place a tornado in the brush, pointed upwards to intercept the assassin’s way back to safety.

“Yeah, he’s dead,” Alex confirms.

Pyke’s player seems to realise just that as well, because at that exact moment he tries flashing upwards, out of Alex’s reach and the potential stun. Unlucky for him that he didn’t see my tornado. He's knocked up into the air and I move my character upwards, slowing him with my second ability, weaving past the missiles the enemy ADC is throwing in my direction.

“I’m on fire,” I say as the next of Pyke’s hooks misses and I exhaust him when he jumps onto me, finally realising that fighting is the only way out of this. From that point forward Alex only has to do the cleanup.

“You’re a dancer,” Alex says as we teleport back to the base from the safety of our turret.

I grin. “I am, though. Didn’t even have to flash.” I pause, buy my items, then click back onto the lane. “Talking about dancing, I’ve got something to tell you.”

“That so?”

“Yeah, I might pick up dancing. Claire invited me to come along to practice. We were talking about hobbies and, well, you know there’s not much that I do and it made me feel kinda boring in comparison. And then Claire said that dancing is quite the impressive hobby to have, right, and I think I agree.” I place another tornado. “So that might take away the awkwardness when I get to know people.” I release the tornado but miss just barely.

Alex reply takes him a second. “I mean, I’m glad if you’ve found something fun to do with your friends, I really am, but you’re aware that starting a whole new hobby just to impress people is… overdoing it, right? I mean, who cares anyway. If they’re the type of people who judge you for who you are, why’d you want to hang around them anyway?”

I furrow my brow. I know he’s right, sure, but when was I ever able to argue my emotions into submission?

“And what if I wanted to be able to impress them? I like the thought of being able to walk up to people and know that I’ve nothing to be ashamed of about myself.”

“But who ever said you had?” He sounds confused and even upset.

I’ve misstepped. I’m too far out and defenceless. I try to get back to safety the moment I realise, but Pyke’s already there. I try to flash the hook but the cheeky bastard predicted exactly that and aimed it so that I get hit anyway. I ult, push him back, but from the river to the side of the lane, the enemy jungler and midlaner are already closing in. There’s no way I’m getting out of this alive.
Another tornado manages to catch the jungler, but then a shuriken hits me and the midlaner is in my face and then Pyke ults and executes me.

“FUCK!” I yell and slam my hand flat against the table. I should’ve paid more attention, not gotten caught up in the argument.

“Sorry,” Alex says and I know he’s not just talking about the game.

It feels like he wants to say more, make things right, but I cut him off. “Just never mind, okay?” I put on a smile and try very hard to get back into my cheery mood from earlier. “Let’s get this win.”

-

The doorbell rings and startles me into an upright position. Who the fuck?

It’s early evening. Alex and I have stopped playing a few hours ago and now I’m doing my homework. Nothing too complicated but time-consuming nevertheless.

I look back down and readjust the pen in my hand. Somebody else will get it, there’s no need for me to get up now. I really want to get this one done before dinner.

Alright, so… which of the peace treaties did Wilhelm the second fuck up again? Wasn’t it all except with Austria and Italy? And what exactly was his argument again? Arrogance? Wasn’t superiority the main line of argument around then?

For fuck’s sake. I’m not sure. I get out my folder to look up the details when there’s a knock at my door.

I look up. It shouldn’t be time for dinner yet.

“Yeah?”

The door opens.

“Hey, it’s me,” Alex says, stopping in the door frame with an uncertain expression.

“Oh hi!” I turn my desk chair away from my homework to face him. Well, guess WWI can wait until tomorrow. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see if you’re okay, maybe talk…” His voice trails off.

I give him a confused look. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He shrugs. “You didn’t seem, earlier today.”

Right. Now I remember. Thanks for that.

“Oh that.” I wave it off. “Don’t worry, I was just having a weird moment.”

He doesn’t look like he believes me. He comes in and gently closes the door behind him.

“I’m sorry,” he says then, sitting on my bed. “It was stupid what I said, okay? I mean, I guess I kind of meant it, but it wasn’t my place to say? You should know that I absolutely respect your feelings and even if I don’t get it, I support you, okay? If impressing people is what you want to make your goal, then so be it. I’ll cheer you on anyway.” There’s a small smile growing on his lips.

For a moment, I just look at him. He must’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that today, to arrive only now. He also cares enough to come over to mention it and not do it via Discord.

Slowly, I push myself forwards. I have to lean quite a bit forward to get enough weight on my feet to be able to pull the chair along and I’m sure it looks hilariously dumb, but I don’t care. I roll my way closer to Alex until my face is only centimetres from his and then I lean in even further and kiss him. Only once, only fleetingly, but it says everything I mean to say anyway.

I love you.

Thank you for caring so much.

Thank you for existing.

What would I do without you?

How could I ever be mad at you?

“Sorry, my confidence is still… trying to find the surface,” I whisper with a lopsided grin and he nods.

“Don’t worry. We’ll get you there, eventually. You’re doing great, considering the pace things are going at right now.”

“Mhm. And who knows? Maybe I’ll end up liking it. Dancing, I mean. I doubt I’d be disciplined enough to keep at it otherwise.”

I get up and push the chair away in one motion, then sit down on the bed next to him and kiss him again.

How could anyone ever get enough of this? Kissing him is basking in happiness and affection.

I let myself fall backwards onto the covers and he comes along and for a while we just stare at one another, dumb smiles gracing our lips.

“You’re so pretty when you smile,” Alex whispers and brushes my cheek with his thumb. “So unbelievably pretty. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. You’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

And of course that is the exact moment, Pearl chooses to come barging into our room, wearing the feistiest of grins.

“Lena! Lena! What is coitus interruptus?”

I sit up and point at the door as Alex howls with laughter. “OUT! You little brat!”

She giggles but stays and I don’t yell again.

“Dinner’s ready,” she says then, once Alex has calmed down a little. “You’re eating with us, right Alex?” She turns and gives him puppy eyes.

He sits up, face still red and dries his eyes with his T-shirt. “Sure,” he wheezes.

“Great!” Pearl smiles and disappears down the corridor.

“Your sister’s fucking gold,” Alex says as soon as she’s out of earshot, still laughing a little. “I hope you’re aware of that.”

“Oh don’t you worry,” I grin back. “I know better than anybody else.”