Moonlit Waters

Water surrounds me. As my head sinks under the surface, it drowns out the buzzing of crickets and the hushed rustle of wind in the trees. It washes away the sweat and the residues of bark that had clung to my neck and torso.

As I move steadily, the water takes away the memory of day. It strips away the person I am, leaving behind only the very core of my identity. And then it builds a new person around it.

My movements, not losing in speed or intensity, grow to feel more graceful. There’s a pleasant pull on my scalp as long hair flairs out behind me, flowing with the current.

When I emerge from the water, taking in deep, but controlled breaths of air, I am no longer Timothy, the shy boy that likes to play League and has a problem with his looks. I am Selena, the mysterious girl that seems to reside in the lake, that only Alex, the best swimmer in town, has ever seen.

I love the feel of the water, this night. When I arrive by the rocks in the middle of the lake, I almost don’t want to get out. But then I do, because actually, the water isn’t very warm.

The air, on the other hand, is warm. At this point in the night, it has only lost its heavy and humid feel. A light breeze cradles my neck as I put back my head to look up at the stars. They’re beautiful.

“Hey!” a familiar voice calls from not to far away.

I perk, hold my head high and search the water with wakeful eyes. Before long, I’ve made out the shadow, leisurely moving in my direction.

I raise a hand and give him a slight wave, but otherwise I stay silent.

My – Alex’s shirt hasn’t had the time to dry yet and suddenly I grow very conscious of the fabric clinging to my chest. I lean back against the rock to my side, angle one leg to serve as a shield and let the other dangle, my foot almost touching the water. Then drape my hair forwards on both sides.

Long hair might not appear very appealing to me in my normal life, but as long as I don’t have to take care of it and it provides a bit of comfort? Yeah, I will very much appreciate it.

With a sigh, Alex pulls himself from the water and sits against the rocks next to me.

“Glad to see you’ve warmed up a little,” he says, running his fingers through his wet hair and wiping droplets from his face.

I avert my gaze, but can’t keep a small smile from creeping onto my lips. “Don’t let it get to your head.”

“Don’t worry.” He grins. “I won’t.” From the pocket of his trunks, he produces a small bundle and holds it out for me. “Here, I brought you something. Thought you might need this, considering how much you like being out here.”

I look at it, but can’t quite make out what it is. Tentatively, I reach out and take the small bundle of what appears to be some sort of fabric. It is still wet from the water and warm from being in his pocket.

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” Alex laughs when he sees my expression. “Had to get it here somehow, right?”

“But what? Oh.” The bundle falls apart into two pieces and it doesn’t take long for me to realise, what I’m holding in my hands. A simple, black, two-piece swimsuit.

“I mean, you can keep my shirt if you want, but I thought it might be more comfortable this way.” Awkwardly, he scratches the back of his head. “I wasn’t entirely sure about the size so I asked the clerk to help, described you to her and she seemed to have a rough idea. Well, if it doesn’t fit I can just get you another size. Or… you could come along to try it on yourself, of course, but…”

I shake my head. “No, it’s-”

“Yeah, figured.”

“Thanks, though.” And I mean it. It does seem a little weird that he would just go out of his way to make me more comfortable, but I know that he only means well by it. It’s the way he works.

“No problem.” He glances at me a little awkwardly, then looks away.

“Could you… Should I…” I’m unsure about how I should approach changing here, but then I glance down at the water. “Never mind, I’ll just,” I say, scooting forward and carefully sliding into the water. “change here.”

Of course, the rocks aren’t just above the water. Without having to search for long, my feet find purchase on the rough, overgrown surface. The water just barely reaches past my shoulders.

Alex watches me with a vague grin, but quickly looks away when I reach down to pull the shirt over my head. I have to fiddle with the bra top a bit, I’ve never put one on before, but I figure it out quickly enough. It is rather plain, after all. It’s a single piece of fabric without any unnecessary frills or ties that could loosen and leave me exposed.

It fits nicely. I have to do a few adjustments, once I’ve placed the fabric over my chest, but after doing that it’s sort of comfortable. There’s a light pressure on my breasts and it feels like the fabric could support me even out of the water.

The slip fits as well – that part is much easier to get on. At this point it doesn’t even feel all that weird to have nothing down there. It’s just… different.

I do, however, put the swimming trunks back on over them. I’m just not quite comfortable with showing that much of myself yet.

“Does it fit alright?” he asks curiously as I climb back onto the rock. He probably can’t see much of a difference unless he starts ogling.

“Yes, thanks…” Having what qualifies as ‘proper underwear’ under the circumstances actually really helps my confidence. It makes me feel less vulnerable, more comfortable.

“Good.” He scratches at his forearm absently. “I wouldn’t have felt comfortable going back into that store.”

Settling back in my spot, sitting just the way I had before, I look at him questioningly. “Why?”

“Well… Going to buy you… That was rather a spontaneous thing? I only realised that I had no clue about your size when I was already standing in front of the rack. And you know, a guy like me browsing women’s swimwear…”

He chuckles and I break into a grin.

“I only realised that part, though, when the clerk came up to me like ‘can I help you?’” He raises both hands in an oversized shrug. “And that’s not even the worst of it. Once she was standing before me, all professional, I totally blushed and went ‘yes, please. I’ve never been bikini shopping before. Could you please help me with the sizes?’”

I can’t help but laugh out loud from second-hand embarrassment. I like the way I laugh as Selena. It’s similar and still very different to Timothy’s laughter. Now, my voice doesn’t go all shrill and high, but stays within a pleasant range in terms of both height and volume.

Alex is grinning now. “Yeah well, I managed to explain it to her in the end, but at that point my brain was already totally jumbled and I could barely get out coherent sentences. A rather awkward experience I’m not sure I want to repeat all so soon.”

“Well, I appreciate you putting yourself through all that for me,” I say in an overly polite tone.
He, of course, reacts just the way I expect him to. “M’lady, it was an honour to have risked my life for you,” he replies, puffing his chest out in what he thinks to be the posh attitude of the late seventeenth century.

As he deflates himself, a pleasant silence ensues.

Tonight is different to the night before. So, so different. It feels like I know Alex again. Like we’re real friends again – well, at least Timothy is friends with him. But I don’t mind being friends with him at night too. He’s good company and it makes me feel… well, nice? I just feel good right now.

“You remember the friend I told you about yesterday?” he asks into the silence.

I nod. “Mhm. What about him?” This is why I came here in the first place.

“We met today. In real life, in nature and all.” There’s a childish excitement in his voice. I can tell he’s happy about it, which, in turn, makes me happy.

“Wow. Sure it wasn’t just a simulation?” I ask, acting all professionally skeptical and slightly worried.

Alex snaps his fingers in reaction. “It does kinda feel like a dream, in hindsight.” He chuckles. “But yeah, I’m pretty sure it really happened. Have you had a look around the forest in the east?”

I shake my head, trying my best not to let the truth show. At least the dark is on my side on this one. “No, don’t think I have.”

“You should. It’s really pretty. Anyway, we went to this waterfall we used to go to when we were small. It was almost like all that shit had never happened.”

“But that’s good, isn’t it? Was it on his initiative?”

He nods. “It is. And yes, it was his idea, which is the whole reason why it seems so weird to me. It’s just… From one day to the other he does an absolute one-eighty and everything’s alright again.”

“You could ask him, of course. I mean, where his sudden interest in life comes from,” I suggest. It’s a bit of a poker. I don’t really want to be asked this as Timothy, but it’s the advice Selena, the advice a good listener would give, right?

Alex shrugs. “I don’t think I care all that much. He’ll tell me if it’s important to him. Until then I’ll just be happy to have a good friend back.” There’s a joyous sparkle in his eyes. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re a good luck charm.”

-

That night, I lie awake for quite some time before I manage to fall asleep. I feel giddy with excitement. I’ve had a good day. A great day, even.

Once I’d returned home from my trip with Alex, Pearl had been waiting to take advantage of my good mood. She made me play some tabletop game with her for easily an hour before Mum made her tidy up the table so we could eat dinner.

It didn’t even stop there. Today was the first time in ages I was interested in having an actual, proper conversation at the dining table. My parents were all too happy to provide that for me, of course, and listened readily when I told them about my day.

When I still didn’t join them for a little stargazing in the garden, Pearl was a little disappointed. But she accepted it and when I promised her that we would do it one of these days, she seemed to believe me.

I’d have to tell Alex that I wouldn’t be there one night.

Alex… A dreamy smile creeps onto my lips as I look up at the ceiling, my long hair fanned out on the pillow around my head. He’s such a good person. I’m lucky to have him as my friend. I should aspire to be more like him. Kind, considerate… Maybe I should join him in his daily swimming sessions so I could build up a little muscle as well.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. Like, actually looking forward to tomorrow. I’m excited at all the perfect small moments it might bring. It’ll be a great day, I’m sure. The weather is supposed to be great for some more days before the next rain.