My Enigmatic Life

      After finishing with the mission report, I decide to collect the debris from the broken wall and make it into a heap. This is likely going to take a while, but honestly that’s a good thing. Right now, it’s best that I’m by myself.

“I’m such a pillock..”

I shouldn’t have lashed out at them like that. Yeah, it’s a touchy subject for me, something I’ve been bearing for eleven years. But I should know by now that they wouldn’t say something like that just to get under my skin. I’ll have to apologise to them all once I get back.

“Daisuke-san? Can you hear me?”

Eh? Haruhi-chan? Shouldn’t she have left HQ already?

“I’m here. How are you talking to me right now?”

“I took one of the back-up headsets home with me. Since you still have your earpiece on, I can reach you.”

Ah, she nicked one of them. I didn’t expect her to be so mischievous.

“So, how are you feeling now?”, she asks.

“Rather idiotic, honestly.”, I reply.

I can’t bring myself to put up some front, so I just speak how I really feel.

“Nii-chan was really surprised. He said that he’d never heard you that angry before.”

“...I’m sorry. I was bang out of order.”

“No, no, Daisuke-san. They’re just even more culpable than you are for getting on you for something that’s triggering for you.”

That may be true, but they have a point.

“Haruhi-chan, what do you think about it? What am I going to do if I encounter someone who’s too dangerous to be left alive?”

“...”

Haruhi-chan pauses. That’s reassuring, and I mean that sincerely. It shows that she’s actually thinking about it.

“As my Squadron Leader, I have faith that you’ll know what to do if that time ever comes.”, Haruhi-chan says sincerely. “Although, there aren’t many people like that in this world, so I totes doubt you’ll have to worry about that.”

Well, at least that’s one person. Hopefully the others will see it that way, too.

“And besides, I think that it’s totes cool how much you value everybody’s life, even if they happen to be a horrible person! There aren’t many people like that in this world either, you know!”

I can’t help but smile at Haruhi-chan's praise. She sure knows how to give someone a pick-me-up.

“Heh, those are some comforting words. Maybe I should make you my personal Adjutant from now on.”, I jest.

“...You don’t have to go that far, you know~? I’m just doing my job by supporting my Leader…”

She sounds oddly chuffed by my joke. Could she be someone who likes receiving praise like Hisakawa-san? Hold on a tick-

“Is Gege with you?!”, I say, panicking a little.

“No, I’m all by myself. Why did you ask?”

Woo, that’s a relief. Why does she sound a little affronted, though?

“That sis-con and Commissioner Watanabe would conspire to get me jailed if they knew that I was talking to you right now.”

“Ugh, those two are so embarrassing! With how protective they are of me, I’ll be single all of my life!”

“Huhuhuhuhu.”, I chortle. “I’m sure some guy will manage to gain their hard-earned approval someday.”

“Hopefully, I won’t have to wait too long.”

      I make it to my block of flats in about an hour or so. Naturally, I could’ve made it here far earlier, but I decided to just stroll all the way here. As a result, I’m just getting home at nearly 3 AM. The others are probably asleep by now, so I’ll just talk to them ‘morrow.

The lift stops at the seventh floor and lets me off. I walk over to my door, key in hand, and-

“Welcome home, Aniki.”

Yokie opens the door before I can even reach for the doorknob. I enter and she shuts the door behind me.

“I’m back. I thought you would be asleep by now.”, I say, a little surprised.

“...As if I could sleep without knowing you made it back here safely.”

Yokie speaks slowly, her expression as blank as paper as her dull, empty eyes stare up at me. I remember looks like these, this visage always used to happen when she was really upset about something. The first time I saw it was when nan told me that I look ghastly when I smile.

I wonder what made her so upset this time? I take my hand and ruffle her hair reassuringly, smiling openly the whole time.

“I’m sorry, Yokie. I’m such a horrid aniki, making you feel so poorly, aren’t I?”

Yokie’s expression softens a little, but she still seems a little down.

“No, I’m at fault as well, Aniki.”, she says quietly. “I shouldn’t have pestered you with something I know you feel so strongly about. I’m sorry, but I’m just-”

Yokie’s voice trails off as she begins to hang her head down. Suddenly, tears splash onto the floor.

“Yokie?”

“I’m just so afraid of losing you…!”, Yokie cries. “Sometimes I see how forgiving you are, and I just get so worried! We’ve already lost grandad, and I don’t want us to lose you too!”

I tightly, but comfortingly embrace her, and she does the same to me. I stroke her hair as continues to pour her heart out to me.

“I’m so afraid that the mercy and kindness you show everyone will backfire one day! But yet, I can’t bring myself to have you be any other way. It makes me feel so selfish!”

I lift her chin gently, and tilt her head up at me. I have to say this to her not only as her cousin, but also as her future husband. That sounds a wee bit odd to say, but to hell with it. I wipe away her tears and speak from my soul!

“No, it’s not selfish at all, okay? As a matter of fact, it’s a normal way to feel!”, I say determinedly. “So, to assure that those fears you have are put to rest, I’ll get stronger! That way not only will you lot not have to worry about me, but we won’t have to lose anybody else anymore!”

“Y-you promise?”, Yokie mumbles.

“I promise!”

“You’ll get even stronger than Master?”

“Yeah! I promise it to all of you!”, I say strongly.

I mean what I say whole-heartedly! I’m going to definitely get stronger so that I can protect everyone! I already fight without worrying about myself, and changing that could be disastrous! So I just have to find a way to get strong while fighting like that, so I’ll always come out alive!

Yokie seems to be comforted by this, her face blooming and her eyes a-glow as she smiles at me warmly.

“I believe you can do it. I’ll always believe in you.”, she says sweetly.

Now she’s clinging onto me like a puppy. I don’t think I’ll be able to get her off of me for the rest of the day.

Not that I’m going to complain about that.